Your Chalkhills Entrance Exam (compulsory)
Here is the new Chalkhills Entrance Examination
(compulsory):
- I first heard the music of XTC:
- when "Dear God" was on the radio
- back when they first started with Barry Andrews
- inside my mother's womb
- who?
- Which version of English Settlement do you own?
- the CORRECT one
- one of the other ones
- The lyrics of the song "Pink Thing" refer to:
- a baby
- Andy Partridge's penis
- David Gilmour's penis
- a thing which is colored pink
- The lyrics of the song "Grass" refer to:
- any of various plants that have jointed stems and bladelike leaves
and are cultivated for lawns, used for pasture, or cut for
hay
- marijuana
- Andy Partridge's penis
- whatever "Pink Thing" isn't about
- When Andy Partridge uses an "extended metaphor" in the lyrics of a
song, I feel:
- astonished, for I do not understand metaphor
- shock, for how can an uneducated person like myself enjoy
"college" music?
- shame, for Andy's greatness blots out the sun
- disgust, for I am a literalist and I prefer songs which require no
interpretation, like "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow
- When Andy Partridge uses esoteric "Anglo-isms" in the lyrics of a
song, I feel:
- my interest being piqued
- my national pride burning at a fever pitch and then I get my
Cheap Trick records out
- confusion and regret at being so ill-informed about the great
wide world
- nothing, since I am from Swindon, actually
- I will make my pilgrimage to Swindon:
- tomorrow
- next week
- I have already made my pilgrimage and have the photos to prove
it
- I'm making my pilgrimage to Manchester, the boyhood home of
Morrisey
- Since I am a fan of XTC, you may assume automatically that I also
enjoy:
- the music of the Beatles
- the humor of Monty Python
- the country of England
- the act of breathing
- I hope that XTC will tour (and play their music live):
- very much
- a lot
- to the point where I cannot think about anything else
- you mean they stopped touring?
- I would characterize my respect and admiration for Chalkhills
administrator John Relph as:
- poor
- fair
- good
- excellent!
Please do not send your answers to Chalkhills!
Go back to Chalkhills Articles.
19 March 1997 | Tom X. Chao