Chalkhills Digest Volume 5, Issue 322
Date: Monday, 29 November 1999

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 322

                 Monday, 29 November 1999

Today's Topics:

                     Re: Free For All
                       my anagrams
                  Andy meets Tom Robbins
                        Andygrams
            re: Garth Brooks's identity crisis
                   Re: enough already.
                     Re: Tom Robbins
                    Let Them Eat Cake
                E. Costello vs. J. Jackson
                 Copyright and alter-egos
                  Sampling Andy's Wares
    A question for the Australians (and everyone else)
                     Anagram Bananas!
                Compos Mentis? Nein Danke!
                      I Rest My Case
The millennium brings about XTC (and more on the origins of Satan)

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Please to dance round for the one called the Greenman.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Message-Id: <l03130300b46659165bd8@[208.13.202.71]>
Date: Sat, 27 Nov 1999 23:33:33 -0500
From: "Christopher R. Coolidge" <cauldron@together.net>
Subject: Re: Free For All

>No matter how many times I try and keep it cool, some little dick comes up
>and talks shit, while declaring they are the smartest of them all.  Grow
>up.  Get a life.  Just because your afraid of people in person, and
>whimper a way like a little ______ does not mean you need to take out your
>frustrations on the net.  GROW UP! Its over all ready...  Read through the
>messages.  Those of you arguing with me are so damn self rigtheous.  I
>dont have time for this bull____ anymore. Racist little biggots first got
>my friend to leave and I guess you cant even stand having me around.  Go
>off in your little world and learn some respect.  All this over spelling?
>I am ignorent because I dont fix my mistakes?  I am not getting paid here
>and I dont have any more time to argue.  I made one statement that OFF
>LINE, I dont lose many arguments.  These are logical strutured debates.
>Not free for all assholes teaming up on someone for no reason.

Satanas, m'man, even if I disagree with what you have to say, I will defend
to the death your right to say it. I'll give you credit, you try to stay on
topic as much as anybody, and you clearly have some strong and rather
biased opinions of your own, as I also do. For example, I used to be a
vegetarian, but I gave it up because I found it too difficult to maintain
at this time, and I didn't have the strong moral opposition to eating meat
that some of my vegetarian friends do, I just thought it would be
healthier, and I still feel that way and may go back to it sometime. Two of
my closest friends from college went veggie at the same time as I did, and
they both still are, and constantly needle me about it. I'm used to it. I
reserve the right to make my own decisions about these things, you have the
right to preach to me at your own risk, and I have the right to tell you
how I feel about it. That's OK on both sides, as long as we respect each
others rights to our own opinion, informed or otherwise.
  To bring XTC into it, I don't agree with Andy on everything either, I
dislike "Melt The Guns" as much as "My Weapon," the only two XTC songs I
dislike(and we can blame Barry for the latter, so we'll leave it alone for
now). The reason "Melt The Guns" sticks in my craw is not because I love
guns,(I don't; I've fired one once in my life, personally, they make me
nervous) but because I love freedom. I feel the same way about guns as I do
about Big Macs, Britney Spears, landlords,(wait a minute, I forgot,
technically I am a landlord) and drug dealers, among other crab grass in
the lawn of life. Nonetheless I have a live and let live attitude about
what I don't like in the world, because others may feel the same way about
whatever is most important to me. The only things I consider truly evil is
what people do to other people for reasons of vicarious harm or power
regardless of what weapon is used. Sometimes the worst weapon we can use on
others is our minds. Adolf Hitler and his cronies were very good at that.
Who needs guns when you can subjugate people with mind control?
  It doesn't matter so much what people eat, it's how people treat each
other. Diet will take care of itself, you may be right that a vegatarian
diet is the better one, but I've found from experience that evangelism and
hectoring doesn't work on most people. Even most fundamentalist Christians
have figured this out.
  And Satanas, don't worry about spelling, I can only speak for myself but
that doesn't bother me at all. I have to correct my wife's spelling and
syntax before she hands in her class papers so they'll be presentable, her
ideas and insights are great but her sentence construction is downright
surreal sometimes, not to mention how she thinks some things should be
spelled. I joke with her about it, but what's important to me is the
content rather than the form. But then again, I'm not a teacher.

Christopher R. Coolidge

Homepage at
http://homepages.together.net/~cauldron/homepage.html

"A Great law protects me from the government. The Bill of rights has 10
GREAT laws.  A Good law protects me from you.  Laws against murder, theft,
assault and the like are good laws.  A Poor law attempts to protect me
from myself."  - Unknown

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19991128184853.24720.rocketmail@web2103.mail.yahoo.com>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 10:48:53 -0800 (PST)
From: Tyler Hewitt <tahewitt@yahoo.com>
Subject: my anagrams

	WARNING: NO XTC CONTENT

seeing all the fun we've been having lately with
anargams, I thought I'd share some for my full name
(Tyler Aaron Hewitt):

Holy tit warrantee
anteater whirl toy
leathery iron twat
the warty oriental
yeti loan thwarter
holy watt retainer
tolerate whiny art
threaten oily wart
rot eaten wrathily
altar toy whitener
another leary twit
antiwar lottery eh

and my favorite:
twittery anal hero

------------------------------

Message-Id: <v03007800b4672f7b79f2@[165.121.65.4]>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 14:17:18 -0500
From: Mitch Friedman <mitchf@mindspring.com>
Subject: Andy meets Tom Robbins

Yello,

A few years ago I gave Andy a copy of my current favorite Tom Robbins
book "Skinny Legs and All". Certainly the one with the most 'opinions'
on religion anyway.  Andy reads nothing but non-fiction and doesn't go
for novels at all these days so I knew I was asking for a lot. I got
him to agree to give it a try by showing him one particular paragraph
that sounded like a lost Dukes lyric.  Anyway, to make a short story
shorter, a few months later I asked him if he had read the book and he
told me that against his will he actually gotten about 2/3 of the way
through before putting it down. So I guess he liked it?

Mitch

------------------------------

From: fheaney@erols.com
Message-ID: <005701bf39ef$c63cbee0$8edda4d8@default>
Subject: Andygrams
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 17:27:26 -0500

> > I was intrigued by a recent post from Iain Murray that  stated that
> "Andy Partridge is an anagram of  Dirty Red Pagan".  I came up with a
> few more.<

Given Andy's shyness on stage, I think "Dreading party" is an pretty apt
anagram.  And when he was learning his sections of one of Colin's Skylarking
songs, he must have "read 'Dying' part".

> Looks like XOOM.COM finally caught wind of my growing Real Media
> encyclopedia and decided to shut me down for any number of reasons
> listed all over the ubiquitous "terms of service" page! Oh well. Sigh.
> It was fun.

Argh!  No!  Say it ain't so, Ian!  Where am I going to turn when I have a
yen to listen to "Terrorism" over and over again?  And I'm curious what
e-commandment this site broke..."Thou shalt not create a page people might
actually want to visit"?

And:
> Desperation                A Rope Ends It
> The Morse Code             Here Come Dots
Etc.

People who really enjoy this sort of thing might want to check out the
National Puzzlers League website at www.puzzlers.org.  Try solving these
(numbers in parentheses give the enumeration of the answer phrase; asterisks
indicate capitalized words).  #1 is by Mike Shenk, #2 and #4 are by me, #3
is by Todd McClary.  Answers in two digests or so.

BENEATH CHOPIN (3 5 5)
CLINTON + A GIRL = DEFEAT? (2 9 7)
MADE BOY PET, SIR (*6 *7)
MA, SON BANTER (*6 *5)

-- Francis

"I'm breaking through, I'm bending spoons."
   -- R.E.M.

------------------------------

Message-Id: <3.0.2.32.19991128175232.00704354@mail.interlog.com>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 17:52:32 -0500
From: David Oh <davidoh@interlog.com>
Subject: re: Garth Brooks's identity crisis

From: Jefferson Ogata <ogata@pobox.com>
>
>So, what do all the fans of the Dukes of Stratospear, Spinal Tap, and
>Ziggy Stardust lurking out there think about Garth Brooks's little
>identity-creation experiment known as Chris Gaines?
>I have to say, it smacks of a fundamental dishonesty to me, but is it
>really any different from the Dukes? What say ye?

whereas xtc did the dukes as an homage and as a loving joke, methinks
garth is doing it for one, or all, of the following reasons:
1. money
2. he's creatively bankrupt in the country music genre (perhaps in all
   genres)
3. money
4. he thought it was an original idea
5. money
6. someone said it was a cool idea
7. money

i had another reason, but i can't remember what it was. it might've had
something to do with money...

 peace & xtc,

 davidoh

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19991128222843.28489.rocketmail@web1306.mail.yahoo.com>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 14:28:43 -0800 (PST)
From: Molly Fanton <mfanton99@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: enough already.

I have to agree with Rob on the mean spiritedness in this group is
really bad.  I think we can argue without taking personal jabs at each
other.  But that's how people are like now, and it's very sad.  I'm
guilty of doing what I'm talking about, but I've also been the
"victim" (I can't find a correct word besides that one) of some
personal attacks.

If you have a major grudge with a Chalker, don't air it out in here.
E-mail them privately, and try to be nice.  I'm going into the
hospitality service area, and I've learned it's nice to be nice.  That
we shouldn't fly off the handle at anybody.  I just wish people in
this group and other groups I'm in can just get alone with persoannly
attacking them.  Just think how you would feel if it was an attack on
you, and don't give the "Well I'm more thick skinned, and I can take
it."  Let me tell you words hurt no matter if you have the thickest
skin.  I hat people using that as an excuse for denying their true
feelings.

Now I'm rambling, that's what I get when I put Enya on. :P

Molly

Non XTC Quote of the Month: "It's like Rocky, only with curlers" -
Craig Ferguson about "The Big Tease"

Check Out My Craig Ferguson Tribute Page:
http://www.angelfire.com/mn/mollyfa99/mrwick.html
Molly's Page
http://www.angelfire.com/mn/mollyfa99/index.html

------------------------------

Message-Id: <199911290035.TAA09057@nantucket.net>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 18:16:23 -0800
Subject: Re: Tom Robbins
From: "Diamond" <arnos@nantucket.net>

<Ronald Wilson Reagan       Insane Anglo Warlord
Did you know Ronald Reagan is the anti-christ??? Ronald = six letters,
Wilson = six letters, Reagan = six letters.... 666!!!

Jeff, you spake:

>I hardly think Tom Robbins is a good authority to cite on any issue
>of fact. Religion major or no, Mr. Robbins, like Mr. Partridge,
>*makes stuff up*. It's science friction, my friend.

What do you mean? Are you just assuming he makes things up, or do you know
of examples when he made things up? In the imortal words of Ricky Ricardo,
"splain!!!"
____________________________________________________________________________
"Blank Frank is the messanger of your doom and your destruction"
                        -Brian Eno

------------------------------

From: "Mark Strijbos" <mmello@knoware.nl>
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 00:56:29 +0100
Subject: Let Them Eat Cake
Message-Id: <19991128235444.7B5E3A6CDF@mail.knoware.nl>

Dear Chalkers,

Our learned friend Dorothy Spirito put me in my proper place:

> Mark Strijbos used the word "coprophiliacs" when I think he meant to
> use "coprophages" -- "shiteating" (as opposed to "shitloving").

I stand corrected; you're obviously an expert in these matters :)

Another point was raised:

> >after all it [christmas] is the celebration of the birth of Christ,
> >not Greenman.
>
> Actually, most evidence points to Christ being born in july.
same difference. whether Christ was born in July, in Texas or not at
all is not important: what i said was that Christmas (the festival) is a
celebration of the alleged birth of Christ.
The date was indeed conveniently chosen to 'incorporate' a pagan
feast that was resisting all attempts to abolish it.

But that doesn't turn Xmas into a pagan feast of course, as Satanas
observed.

BTW: the old roots of the Judeo/Christian beliefs are of course as
pagan as you can get... Mary giving birth to Jesus can be seen as a
variation on the really ancient Earth Mother / Man Child theme.

If you are really interested in matters like these i can recommend
the "Woman's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets" by Barbara G.
Walker. It's not only one of Andy's faves and an obvious source for
some of his recent lyrics but also a very interesting, eye-opening
book.

Now it's time once again to switch to GLOAT MODE

Today i visited "Europe's biggest record fair" in nearby Utrecht and
came home with no less than thirteen pieces of XTC vinyl, one new
cd - The Compact XTC -, a magazine and some awesome badges!
A day (and money) well spent...

And now for something completely different... SONG MODE!

Our mutual friend Peter Mullin had a quick and witty response:

> > By the time your driver has said: "Hey man, quick! Look, there's
> > that XTC dude you are always on about" Andy has already
> > passed a corner, out of sight.
>
> Perhaps humming to himself the first snatches of what will later
> become a world-wide mega-smash hit "The Man Who Slept
> Through Swindon Town" (and I'll leave to some of our clever
> "Turkey Nut" scibes to propose some lyrics for _that_ one...)

The man who slept through Swindon town
>From East to West, from pole to pole
Without a clue, he snore right through
Sleep, the mutineer, was at the wheel and in control

The man who walked across the street
Turned out to be dear Andy P.
Who took a turn and disappeared
Around a corner and away, before he could be told

- try to sing it... the words actually fit :)

yours in xtc,

Mark Strijbos at The Little Lighthouse
 http://www.knoware.nl/users/mmello/
     or http://come.to/xtc

------------------------------

Message-ID: <3841C7DC.E114F940@home.com>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 19:25:03 -0500
From: Mark Newberg <mhnewberg@home.com>
Organization: @Home Network
Subject: E. Costello vs. J. Jackson

Two of my favorite singer/songwriters are Elvis Costello (who is the other
Elvis?) and Joe Jackson.. In fact, I am listening to one of my favorite
cds as I type this - My Aim Is True. I do not have all of Mr. Costello's
album, but the one's I do have I like. I even saw him on TNT (The
Nashville Network) playing guitar with George Jones and other country
stars. I then saw him dueting with Tony Bennet.

I have not seen Elvis in concert, but I have seen Joe Jackson two
times. Mr. Jackson played a whole side from one of his albums. I enjoy his
albums, too, especially his live double cd which has three versions of 'Is
She Really Going Out With Him?'.

My question (and I know it is an unfai one): Who is the better performer?
Who is the better singer/songwriter?

Just wondering what my fellow Chalkies think,

Mark

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19991128235406.40423.qmail@hotmail.com>
From: "Duncan Kimball" <dunks58@hotmail.com>
Subject: Copyright and alter-egos
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 15:54:06 PST

Ian C. Stewart laments:

>Looks like XOOM.COM finally caught wind of my growing Real Media
>encyclopedia and decided to shut me down for any number of reasons
>listed all over the ubiquitous "terms of service" page! Oh well. >Sigh. It
>was fun.

Sorry Chris ... but I could have told you this would happen. I knew it
would sooner or later. I have it on good authority (from ppl in the
Australian music industry) that Internet providers are being put under
increasing pressure by record companies, publishers and their
multinational parents to crack down on such activities, which are - let's
be honest - technically illegal.

I'm not bagging you at all - I think sites like yours, and the many
similar sites which are being closed down (e.g. lyric servers) address a
genuine need that the majors largely ignore. Unfortunately, they can see
the writing on the wall and are already watching much of their formerly
captive market 'going south' to the internet. Hence the sudden jackbooted
heavy-ing of Internet providers and bootleg operations they previously
ignored.

***

On a lighter note, Jefferson muses about Garth Brooks's "identity crisis"

>So, what do all the fans of the Dukes of Stratospear, Spinal Tap, and
>Ziggy Stardust lurking out there think about Garth Brooks's little
>identity-creation experiment known as Chris Gaines?

<snip>

>I have to say, it smacks of a fundamental dishonesty to me, but is it
>really any different from the Dukes? What say ye?

Oh Jefferson, don't be so moralistic! I can't see why this smacks of any
greater "fundamental dishonesty" than XTC pretending to be The Dukes, or
Harry Shearer & pals pretending to be Spinal Tap. As we say here in
Australia - "It's a joke, Joyce". It's show-business, daaaahling - if you
start out looking for fundamental honesty, you're gonna be *sorely*
disappointed. It's not about honesty - it's about pretending, and creating
entertainment. Why DO people expect "honesty" anyway? This smacks of the
same silly puritanism that the folkies used to hurl at Dylan when he 'went
electric'. Why the hell can't Garth Brooks have a go at being funny if he
wants to?

In his defence: I saw Garth Brooks on a recent Saturday Night Live
episode, and (against all expectations, because I am not a fan at all) I
have to say that I found him remarkably funny. He seems to have a great
sense of humour and he was certainly a good sport, not at all afraid to
take the piss out of his own image. He also proved to be quite a capable
comic actor - much better than some the regular cast members they've had
over the years!

What's it all about? I think it's simply a case of him reaching a certain
level of success, and looking for something else to do. Being (evidently)
a funny guy, he's seen a way to have a laugh at and with his own
celebrity, by combining his musical talents with comedy, and taking on a
character. Why is it OK for Garry Shandling to create Larry Sanders to
satirise television, but not OK for Garth Brooks to create Chris Gaines to
satirise music? Hmmm?

Good luck to him I say. I think it could be really good - give him a
break.

Dunks

PS - sign me up for the First Reformed Church of the Meatarian Order. (Our
motto: "If God didn't want us to eat meat, why the hell did he give us
canine teeth?")

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19991129013725.75325.qmail@hotmail.com>
From: "Iain Murray" <halfmanhalflager@hotmail.com>
Subject: Sampling Andy's Wares
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 12:37:25 EST

My apologies if this has already been mentioned, but I've just heard a
song on the radio called "Sally" by (I think the announcer said) a
Japanese group called the Soul Bossa Trio. The song itself didn't really
do much for me, except in one key regard : it's built around a sample from
"Melt The Guns".

Has anyone else heard this song yet? Does anyone know about this group?

Iain

"If you've got a blacklist, I want to be on it." - Billy Bragg

Visit my homepage, and find out why I carry on with such rubbish.....

http://homepages.msn.com/LyricLn/hmhlager/index.html

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19991129014754.16351.rocketmail@web1703.mail.yahoo.com>
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 12:47:54 +1100 (EST)
From: Mud Shark <mudshark1944@yahoo.com.au>
Subject: A question for the Australians (and everyone else)

Has anybody else heard the song that uses a sample
from "Melt The Guns"? I just heard it on Triple J, but
my crappy radio dropped out on me halfway through, so
I didn't get to hear who it was by (by whom it was).

I am curious (turquoise).

MS, aka Lord Lucan (still officially dead)

=====
"I rail against God because I was told to stop eating paste in Sunday
school" - P.J.O'Rourke

------------------------------

Message-ID: <3841FB99.4D2C@gte.net>
Date: Sun, 28 Nov 1999 21:05:46 -0700
From: "May O'Mahoney" <may5272@gte.net>
Subject: Anagram Bananas!

OK, I've completely scrolled through the last issue and I can't find the
person who made reference to the anagram site.  Whoever it was - thank
you very much.  A huge revelation and discovery has been made about my
person:

May Elizabeth O'Mahoney turns into...

Ya! Amen! I'm healthy booze.

Isn't that good to know??!  Write me to find out more about the 'natural
high'.  Ha.

Something to uphold the Davidoh Theory on meat vs. vegetables:

Potatoes have eyes.  Think of the horror when you skin them alive!

And that's not an anagram! (Or maybe it is.)

Cheers Chalkies!

------------------------------

From: Hbsherwood@aol.com
Message-ID: <0.ca5dbd48.25736485@aol.com>
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 00:09:25 EST
Subject: Compos Mentis? Nein Danke!

> From: Satanas Diablo <thedevil@minister.com>
> Subject: Soul Sucking Jerks.

> No matter how many times I try and keep it cool, some little dick comes up
> and talks shit, while declaring they are the smartest of them all.

As (presumably) the "little dick" in question, I feel I should apologize
to the group for goading this person. I confess I badly misjudged him:
assuming him to be in possession of his faculties in some conventional
sense, I theorized that he might respond to censure with shame (as would
most people).  Plainly, my assumption was mistaken--many words might
describe Satanas' outburst at me; "remorseful" is probably not one of
them. (Was it just me, or did anyone else hear a chorus of very loud,
off-key cuckoo clocks going off when you read his response?)

Luckily for us, Mother Internet has a long-established procedure for
dealing with the Satanas Diablos of this world. It takes some
self-discipline, but it works. Not to put too fine a point on it, but a
couple of short weeks ago, he was complaining that no one was paying
attention to him. To my discredit, by flaming him I allowed him to worm
his way back into the collective consciousness. He got his wish. The
universal negativity of the attention doesn't matter to him--in fact it
simply bolsters his need to perceive himself as a victim. I pledge not to
let this happen again and challenge everyone to follow suit.

Everybody understand the drill, here? Page Down Silently.

-----

On a more productive note, Jeff Ogata chided Diamond,

> I hardly think Tom Robbins is a good authority to cite on any issue of
> fact. Religion major or no, Mr. Robbins, like Mr. Partridge, *makes stuff
> up*. It's science friction, my friend.

In #314 our Stephanie Takeshita (long may she wave!) posted religions of
Europe. (Just so you don't have to go fishing back through the Archives,
the link was at http://www.straightdope.com/columns/991029.html.) In the
article, the redoubtable Cecil Adams (long may he wave!) says,

> Since my credibility on this score has been called into question, let me
> turn to the work of the respected Wiccan writer Margot Adler. In _Drawing
> Down the Moon: Witches, Druids, Goddess-Worshippers, and Other Pagans in
> America Today_ (1979), Adler writes, "The Wiccan revival starts with a
> myth, [that] Witchcraft is a religion that dates back to paleolithic
> times, to the worship of the god of the hunt and the goddess of
> fertility. . . . Today most revivalist Witches in North America accept
> the universal Old Religion more as metaphor than as literal reality--a
> spiritual truth more than a geographic one."

[If Margot Adler's name sounds strangely familiar to you, it should;
nowadays she is a correspondent for National Public Radio:
http://www.npr.org/inside/bios/madler.html]

I don't think I'm going to be upsetting anyone's reality too much if I
assert that the contemporary neo-pagan myth projects on the past a modern,
ahistorical interpretation that is fundamentally at odds with what we know
of history as it was actually lived. We seem to NEED the past to be
populated with a Tragically Lost Magical Time; entire empires are built on
the premise that a long-ago Golden Era was usurped by a foreign invader
with an unnatural ideology, and the way back to the lost time is through
adoption of the "natural" folkways of the past. Think Hitler. Hell, think
Reagan! Thatcher!  Or, for a real challenge to your comfort, think Pete
Seeger, "Country Living" magazine, the Arts and Crafts movement
(http://www.arts-crafts.com/)--all, in their own way, expressions of the
same mythmaking impulse. "Queen wants the castle/Back from the rascal!"

Robbins (and of course many, many others) plug their own betes noires into
this mythic template: For the Tragically Lost Time, insert pre-Christian
Europe; for the Foreign Usurper, we have the Mean Old Catholic Church; and
the "natural" and "unnatural" folkways are Pagan and Christian,
respectively.  Contrary to what the myth projects, pre-Christian European
religions were hugely varied, from the Nordic religion (actually a loose
constellation of cults) to the Iberian Celtic Baal-centered fertility
cults. Very few of these religions had anything whatever to do with Horned
Gods. Robbins and his ilk would have us believe this was a benign time of
matriarchal harmony and peace, when what we actually know of these peoples
indicates they'd as soon disembowel you and wear your entrails for
personal jewelry as converse with you. Plus, they were about as
matriarchal as your average motorcycle gang.

I don't mean this to be an apology for the spread of Christianity--those
people have a whole lot to answer for as well. I only mention it to point
out that it seems to be an omnipresent human impulse to believe that the
past was materially more desirable than the present--and, less forgivably,
to *shape* that past to conform with the desires of the present. Plus,
isn't it just the tiniest bit...paranoid (that word keeps cropping
up!)...to believe that Christianity is the entity responsible for
*everything* that's wrong today?  And--here's a question I've been
wrestling with for years--don't we all, deep down inside, in our secretest
of secret mental places, kinda, sorta, you know, *enjoy* being paranoid?
Isn't the Paranoid Worldview more palatable, more digestible, more *sexy*,
than the cluttered, asymmetrical, messy notion that history is a bunch of
stupid fuckups perpetrated by blind idiots who were all making it up as
they went along, improvising incompetently, just as we are today?

...Or is that simply what THEY want me to think...?

Harrison "sleepless night approaching" Sherwood

------------------------------

Message-ID: <4782AD6ADDBDD2119B570008C75DD5C12DBAFA@mgmtm02.parliament.uk>
From: Lawson Dominic <LawsonD@parliament.uk>
Subject: I Rest My Case
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 11:33:52 -0000

>>Those of you arguing with me are so damn self rigtheous.  I
dont have time for this bull____ anymore. Racist little biggots first got
my friend to leave and I guess you cant even stand having me around.  Go
off in your little world and learn some respect.  All this over spelling?

Oh shut up. If you're for real, get some therapy and come back when you have
anything vaguely intelligent to contribute. If you're just tugging our
todgers then please don't bother to continue because it's quite possibly the
least funny thing I've encountered since getting my dick caught in my zip.
Excruciating is, I believe, the word. Oh, and your name is anagram of "Anal
Boa Sadist". Oh, and "I, Atonal Bad Ass".

>>I am not poor, I went to college, own my own business, and have a wife and
child.

Well then....being sentient and mature you should have a pretty good idea of
what an arse you're making of yourself, shouldn't you? (Oh, and "A Banal
Toss Aid").

>>Sheesh, Dom, a whole post with only one bleeped (and quoted, what's more)
swear word and one blasphemy. Man, you're slipping in your old age

Sorry, I was having a bad day. It happens to the fucking best of us, you
twatting know. Bastard.

>>Perhaps if
Partridge knew we'd resorted to discussions of meat he'd push up the
release date...

Good idea. Maybe if we rename the site Porkhills and pretend that "Deer God"
is actually about lovely, juicy venison steaks.......mmmmmm..........slurp.

>>When I first
started reading Chalkhills it was chock-full of great info. Now it's
degenerating into childish namecalling and excessive foul language.

Cough. Nothing to do with me mate. Ahem.

Anyway, while we're on the subject of anagrams.....here's a few
chalkhilarious ones for the forthcoming AV2....

"Weasel Tune, Volvo Pump"
"Ale Must Evolve Now, Pup"
"We've Lean Pop Slut Ovum"

and my personal favourite.....

"Value Won't Mop Up Elves"

and, it has to be said, so on....

Megan is right though, of course, we could really do with AV2 as soon as
possible, but then how long did we wait for AV1? And was it worth it? Well,
exactly.

Cheers.

Dom "Uncle Roy, A Slut" Lawson.

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Message-ID: <19991129103647.15919.rocketmail@web2106.mail.yahoo.com>
Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 02:36:47 -0800 (PST)
From: Giovanni Giusti <giovanni_giusti@yahoo.com>
Subject: The millennium brings about XTC (and more on the origins of Satan)

Chalx,

indeed hmv.com not only gives away ET, but writes in its home page:

   DIGITAL MUSIC
   FREE Downloads from
   XTC
   10,000 Maniacs
   and more...

That is, XTC get their name mentioned on HMV's home page (another 150
converts, I'd guess), *and* they are considered to be the most
important artist whose music is downloadable the site. This, coupled
with amazon.com's choice of XTC as one of the 100 best whatever (I
couldn't find it), might mean that after all, we're not so alone on
Earth.

When the impending Big '000 makes us all think back about what
*really* matters in life, XTC starts cropping back up in all the
music critics' minds. A sign of maturity, if you wish.

Quickly to be replaced in January with the latest Zip-zap faves.
Sigh.

--

On another note (no XTC content here):

> From: "Diamond" <arnos@nantucket.net>
>
>(...)
> you see, Before Christ came into play, Europe had another god, The
> Horned One, the Old God. He was described to have Horns and harry,
> hooved feet. He was jolly, and danced a lot, and celebrated Fertility
> and Joyousness. When Christianity came to town, the christians decided
> to sabatoge this god by making their devil, Satan, described the same
> way. Eventually, this god became the christian devil, and Christianity
> took over many of the Old God's holidays. What we now celebrate as
> Christmas was origianlly a winter celebration of the Old God.

Now, not wishing to start a debate over Satan - however, please do
read some real books about the history of religions. However one may
like T. Robbins, he surely didn't have to worry about correctness (he
was a novelist, right?). You should never try to learn facts from a
fictional writer.

First of all, "Europe" (whatever that meant in zero A.D.) did not
have "another God", but rather thousands of them, in all shapes and
sizes, and all of them were just regional Gods, except for the
official Gods of the Roman empire.

In fact, the representation of Satan as a horned monster derives from
the legends about... monsters! The "horned man" tradition goes as far
back as the Minotaur and the Satyres, both of which are certainly not
"jolly fellows".

If you are instead referring to Dyonisos (or Bacchus), he did indeed
have two small horns, however - ahem, should we say - his most
notable protuberance sprung from elsewhere.

You are correct in saying that most Christian holidays have the same
dates than Pagan ones. However, most of these were just the official
Roman Empire holidays (the Nordic "pagan" tradition as we know it
from the Romantics was totally ignored up until the 19th century),
one notable exception being All Saints, which corresponds to the
celtic Samain (the beginning of winter).

Easter was a traditional Semitic celebration, as we all know (both
Hebrews and Muslims have a similar holiday). December 25th (or
whereabouts) was, I think, Roman.

I don't mean to be rude, but to point out that European history is
rather more complicated than many North Americans (probably misled by
the Romantic babble) seem to think. A lot of different things have
happened in the last 4,000 years. And the Celts and Vikings, on whom
many Romantic ideologisations of ancient Europe are based, were quite
marginal in such history.

A peacemaking gesture:

    This is of course different in English history,
    where Celtic/Nordic traditions are obviously
    more important, as a quick perusal of our lads'
    lyrics will certainly show you.

                    -=QVOD ERAT DEMONSTRANDVM=-

Giovanni

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End of Chalkhills Digest #5-322
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