David Gregory I've played that many disastrous gigs in my time so I'll restrict my list to just XTC. 1. Routes Club, Exeter. 18/4/79 My first gig with XTC. The equipment arrived too late for the sound check so we went on without one. As this was the first time I'd ever played a gig with a proper P.A., I had overestimated the volume I needed and did the set sounding like Ted Nugent trying to blast Motorhead off the stage in the Albert Hall. Nearly got the sack that night. 2. Windsor Zillmere Football Club, Brisbane, Australia. 29/7/79 The night before, we played a storming gig at the Cloudland Ballroom in Brisbane, setting the house record. To-night, two miles down the road, we're in this aussie equivalent of a British Legion Club, billed as "To-nite: Cabaret from England...." playing to thirty kids in competition with fruit machines and a fast-food bar at the other end of the room. When a food order was ready they announced it over their own P.A. system - you know, "Burgers and Fries twice" or "Two Hot Dogs and a Pepperoni Pizza". Just before we went on, a guy came up with a list on a piece of paper and said "Say, I've got some furniture to sell, wouldya mind shouting it over the mike?" "We're the four Beefburgers Mr. Jones ordered", Andy announced as we took the stage. 3. Woodville Town Hall, Adelaide, Australia. 11/8/79 At this gig a severe bout of over-indulgence of Mexican Pancakes wreaks havoc with my digestive system. I felt so rough that I forgot how to play my guitar. However, the audience loved it. 4. Exeter University. 5/10/79 Appalling acoustics, appalling P.A., appalling performance. 5. To-Act Club, Wissenhoe (nr. Nuremburg, Germany). 8/12/79 One of our trucks parted company with the road on the way to this weird little club in the middle of nowhere, so we had to do the gig with equipment borrowed from local musicians. The resulting cacophony was something I prefer not to think about. 6. Arts Centre, Regina, Canada. 22/10/80 Andy falls victim to Gastro-enteritis, and we tentatively cancel our performance (as support to the Police). However, about two hours before showtime, Colin, Terry and I were seized with a mad desire to perform. Too late for a soundcheck, we huddled together in the dressing room to learn as many of Colin's songs as possible, me having to learn two guitar parts in some cases. We bounced on stage. My Amp wasn't switched on, when it did warm up it sounded awful -- I'd forgotten to set it up properly. During the guitar solo in 'Life Begins at the Hop', I trod on my lead and pulled it out of the guitar. I stood there. We bounced off the stage. Andy Partridge 1. Newcastle University. 1977 Glasses, bottles, cans (empty and full), spit, blood, coins, broken glass, clothes, pens, water and human bodies were all hurtled stagewards in what amounted to their version of loving us. (Rest of the world need applaud only). 2. To-Act Club, Wissenhoe. 1979 Somewhere in the German countryside. Spent a day getting there (and a night) only to find our gear truck had crashed leaving us nothing to play the gig with. We scraped together a grotesque childs drum set, two Woolworth guitars, one of which only had five machine heads and couldn't be tuned (the others tuned their 'locally borrowed' guitars to a flamenco guitarist who appeared on the T.V. in the manager of the club's lounge, just before we got to the gig). I loved it actually.

3. Top Rank, Cardiff. Summer '81 Last gig of a tour should have gone perfectly but both of my Amps blow up on stage. Nevertheless, the road crew decided to have their end of tour japes and dumped on my head a sack of confetti during 'Snowman' (Oh! nearly forgot, got myself a rotten electric shock that night as well). 4. Bataclan, Paris. 1979 Parisians dislike us for some reason, the only time we've ever had wine bottles, cigarettes and biscuits tossed at us on stage. Later a frenchman and his girlfriend attacked me claiming I was mad! (Me!) 5. Dingwalls Christmas Party. 1977 Barry Andrews was stoned and very very very very drunk. He broke both of his keyboards on stage, was the loudest thing I'd ever witnessed. I sang with an iron pillar roof support in my face (I peered around it at the audience during instrumental breaks). We sounded like the Shaggs meet Blue Cheer that night (never mind eh!) 6. The Italian Tour that fell over. 1978 We were in Italy and Aldo Morro (is that right) was assassinated and all the gigs were suspended. We were deserted and short of money so we booked into an invalids hotel in a tiny town on the Riviera. We ate pre-minced food (denture fodder) and Squid. Unfortunately I discovered Pernod. Colin Moulding 1. A small club in Barnstable. 1978 We came back on stage for an encore at this gig and I plugged into what I thought was my lead, only to find out that my sound was coming back through Andy's equipment and his through mine, whoops! 2. The Time Out Christmas Party. Dingwalls. 1977 Barry Andrews (keyboard player with the group once upon a time) got completely blotto and couldn't put two notes together. 3. The Stage Door, Sydney, Australia. 1979 A bout of vomiting was responsible for the set to be cut short and the other three doing the encore as a three-piece. 4. Bataclan, Paris. 1979 Four moving targets - cigarette ends (lighted), beer cans (full), saliva, etc., etc. 5. Windsor Zelmere Football Club, Brisbane, Australia. 1979 A sort of Australian British Legion - a gig that should have not been. 6. Wellington, New Zealand. 1980 All momentum lost, the result of a power failure. Terry Chambers 1. JB's, Dudley. Played 'Radios in Motion' twice in the same gig, a BIG mistake. 2. Electric Circus, Manchester. Got blind drunk with support group and couldn't play a thing. 3. To-Act Club, Germany. Gig near Nuremburg. Had to borrow small childs drum kit because ours got smashed in the truck on the way to the gig. 4. Staten Island, New York. So tired of touring that I almost passed out at this gig.