Chalkhills Digest Volume 6, Issue 181
Date: Tuesday, 11 July 2000

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 6, Number 181

                  Tuesday, 11 July 2000

Topics:

                       Re: Skrotem
                     Andy on the List
                  Animals in the zoo...
                Warhol's "The Last Supper"
                 "Sour Girl" is XTC-Like
         XTC Moves to #7 on Radio & Records chart
                   stuff the ballot box
                  Rumblings & Ramblings
        Please forgive me for being an ass, but...
                     Sometime in NYC
                    Ouchless Band Aide
                    A couple of things
                      Molly's lament
                     Re: Go Gavin Go
             RE: It's all Molly's fault . . .
           loads of xtc in austria and germany
                      Re: Crap Bands
                  Them's fightin' words!

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Had him nailed to a chunk of wood.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sun, 09 Jul 2000 10:14:53 -0400
From: "Duncan Watt" <dwatt@fastestmanintheworld.com>
Subject: Re: Skrotem
Message-ID: <200007091419.KAA32116@gilgamesh.nh.ultra.net>

Monsieur Randy Hiatt <Randy.Hiatt@fsbti.com> posed, re: Radios In Motion's
quest for the Ultimate Band Name, this band name, among Many Others:

> Skrotem

Listen, mister, it's *Skarotum*, and, I'll have you know, never was there
a more destiny-sprinkled pod of young lads than these tow-headed
youngsters of which you have invoked. Their album "We're On A Woodpecker",
now out-of-print but still available if you're really lookin', was and is
a true high-school masterpiece, and merely thinking of it, and the songs
on it(and it's erstwhile predecessor, "It's What's For Dinner"), such as
"I Can Deal" and "Lady Bellicose" and "Jeff's Pickle", still brings a tear
to this crusty old barroom-rock veteran's eye. Dare not invoke their
halo-ed name again.

Duncan ""The Ballad Of Bleck And Fleck" rocks my world" Watt

ps The heart-breaking story of this young band's struggle to rock is one
*way* more worthy of a full-length motion picture such as the one on The
Shaggs due to begin filming this summer. Pfft! Drew Barrymore as Dot
Wiggin!  Puh-leeeeze!

--
email me: dwatt@fastestmanintheworld.com
surf me: http://www.fastestmanintheworld.com

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2000 13:25:37 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Jennifer L. Geese" <jlg@svsu.edu>
Subject: Andy on the List
Message-ID: <Pine.OSF.4.10.10007091315380.23470-100000@tardis.svsu.edu>

Public service announcement from the depths of lurker-dom here:

After exhaustive research (read: 5 minutes on the VH1 website calendar),
it has been determined that the episode of "The List" on which our hero,
Andy Partridge, will air Thursday, July 13th (which we knew), at 7:00 EST.
The episode is #349: Most Overplayed Song, and the panelists are Denny
Kirkwood, Shang, Mila Kunis and *Andy Partridge*.  Preceding is an hour of
Pop-Up Video, just in case you have to get your fix.  Cheers, all, and
keep those VCRs rolling!

Jen

p.s.  Mark - is it not true that your seeming obsession with XTC is a
cover up for an evil plan to take over the universe by brainwashing us
with the music we've grown to love?  We are but the first wave of
disciples whom you've programmed to spread the infectious joy that is XTC,
thus solidifying your power base, aren't we?  :)  Shame on you!

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2000 15:34:45 EDT
From: WTDK@aol.com
Subject: Animals in the zoo...
Message-ID: <e6.7da0c1d.269a2dd5@aol.com>

Ed said:

  To the person who listed "Wild Life" as McCartney's worst: well, true
  enough, it's pretty dire, but try playing "Bip Bop" to some poor
  bastard, watch the look on their face, and then try to tell me that
  there's no enjoyment to be had from this album..

Well that was me. Got to admit it IS a catchy album if empty. I think Bip
Bop would be perfect for a toddler CD (mmmm there's a market no one has
really exploited to the max yet)

Ed Continued:
Laying myself wide-open by admitting that I'm one of the few people on
Earth with a bit of a weakness for John & Yoko's "Sometime in NYC"...

Naw, even if I think its one of the worst solo Beatle albums I still enjoy
Lennon's furious vocals and rock'n'roll sensibility. I still think the
songs are crap but well performed crap by a great artist. George's Extra
Texture and Ringo's Ringo the 4th on the other hand (actually Ringo has a
couple of stinkers at least) are still pretty weak stuff.

I have to agree with the assessment of Clapton and Stewart. Clapton's
return to the blues (and his BB King collaboration) redeem him a
bit. Still, the unplugged album is far from Clapton's best (Re: Q
magazine's top 100 British albums of all time). I still love Stewart's
work with Jeff Beck, the Faces and his first couple of solo albums but
felt that he slid downhill from there.

As to why Xtc didn't make the list at all I'm a bit mystified and miffed.
Although we're all biased I believe that Drums & Wires, Black Sea, English
Settlement, Skylarking and Apple Venus Volume One should have made the
list.

All of this, of course, depends on the individual's taste. My wife likes a
couple of Xtc tunes (although she won't admit it) but doesn't care for
most of their stuff (or the Church for that matter). It's funny because
when it comes to more mainstream stuff we, of course, agree. On the other
hand, I played English Settlement for one of my brothers and he commented
on the "off key dreck" we were listening to. Then again, he thinks Jeff
Lynne should have replaced John Lennon in the Beatles (ELO fans I'm not
knocking them--I enjoy some of their stuff but replacing Lennon?)

Rory commented:
Wizard, Slade, Mud,
Pilot, Sweet, Showaddywaddy. All guilty of crimes
against humanity. And music. And fashion. And taste.
And common decency. And taking food from the mouths of
more deserving artists.

I assume that you're not referring to Wizzard. Roy Wood was always a
little out there but he could be a great songwriter when he was focused.

And I have to give it up to Dunks as he is more a Church expert than I
am. We don't get much news in the US about them except from their website.

I stand corrected on Steve Kilbey--sounds like the guy Is a junkie. Not
that it matters a wit to me but I had hoped the guy had more common sense
(considering that he and his sig other had twins last year). Janis Joplin
(and Lennon) are good examples of intelligent, creative songwriters that
have done time with smack. A pity that common sense doesn't play a better
role in music.

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 09 Jul 2000 18:16:51 -0400
From: Harry Strole <hjstrole@earthlink.net>
Subject: Warhol's "The Last Supper"
Message-ID: <3968F9D1.30D34872@earthlink.net>

> any suggestions to fix up the
> painting "The Last Supper"???
>
> Well, I was surprised that they didn't go for
> corporate sponsorship to pay for the restoration.
> Imagine-a big Domino's pizza box on the table in front
> of Jesus and bottles of Miller Lite all around...
> How about the apostles all wearing Tommy Hilfiger?

May I suggest "The Last Supper" by Andy Warhol with it's liberal use
of the Wise potato chip logo.  Say what you will, but he was sure a
head of the times with that one.

Though I quite like the whole of "Wasp Star", I can't see how it can
stand up well next to "Crybaby" by Mariah Cary w/ Snoop Dogg.  That
masterpiece took eight of the most talented songwriters in pop today
to write it.  Indeed.

Harry

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 10 Jul 2000 10:58:58 EDT
From: WWi8064839@aol.com
Subject: "Sour Girl" is XTC-Like
Message-ID: <33.7474448.269b3eb2@aol.com>

Hello fellow Chalkmeisters,

The Stone Temple Pilot's semi-hit "Sour Girl" is very XTC-ish.

Get the single; forget the album, which is just more of the same old rock
riffs (yawn).

Wes

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 10 Jul 2000 11:27:53 -0400
From: "DuBray, Dan" <Dan.DuBray@mail.house.gov>
Subject: XTC Moves to #7 on Radio & Records chart
Message-ID: <435A5CEEACA6D211BEEA0008C75DA8850711DED9@hrm12.house.gov>

I feel like ****ing Casey Kasem:

"Moving up one spot on this week's Radio and Records adult alternative
chart, here's Andy Partridge and his fellow Swindonian, Colin Moulding,
climbing to this week's #7 spot (week ending July 7th).  Here's XTC with
"I'm the Man Who Murdered Love"."  (Clang, clang...)

[The single is now two spots ahead of Steely Dan's "Jack of Speed" with a
bullet.]

Dan DuBray
Washington, DC

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2000 17:38:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: Brown <mb2@deltanet.com>
Subject: stuff the ballot box
Message-ID: <200007100038.RAA16431@mail2.deltanet.com>

Amigos!

..If you visit VH1's website, you can cruise over to the ballot for Andy's
'List' episode (#349).. Any-who, you can vote for the most overplayed song,
and if I remember correctly, Andy suggested Sinatra's, 'My Way'. (Right, Mr.
Keel?)  I really wanted to click on 'Stairway To Heaven' as my first choice,
but I decided to concur with Herr Partridge..  Go and give it a whirl, boys
and girls-

Debora Brown

-July 13-  -Andy on The List-  -Don't forget-

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2000 21:39:35 -0500
From: "David" <peeng1@email.msn.com>
Subject: Rumblings & Ramblings
Message-ID: <001501bfea18$17179780$ae5c243f@6914cqcqa015>

Seventh Grade says:

1. Saw Soupy Sales in an Atlanta airport bathroom taking a leak. I didn't
say anything to him.
2. Eddie Money; that's all I have to say.
3. "Do You Think I'm Sexy" rocked.
4. Vikings will win their first Superbowl this year under the guidance of
Dante Cullpepper.
5. "Luffa" will be the name of my band since "Smell the Ring is taken.
6. My 20 month old boy says "Neighhhhhhhh" when I wear my Chalkhills shirt.
7. Poetry clubs are just an excuse to cuss in public and then be applauded
for it.
8. we're

Garage sales Kick Ass!!

Senor Martin

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2000 22:11:34 -0400 (EDT)
From: Radios In Motion <radiosinmotion@iwon.com>
Subject: Please forgive me for being an ass, but...
Message-ID: <380231849.963195097191.JavaMail.root@web183-iw.dat01.mail.com>

Please forgive me for being an ass, but MOLLY you really need to seek some
help.  I have seen so many people time and time again try and say some nice
things to you to give you some confidence but you keep coming back with
these sick guilt trips!  I never put up with that crap from the girls I
dated when I was single and I don't think any of us want to here that crap
on this list!  Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with life!

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2000 20:13:42 EDT
From: StucoHomes@aol.com
Subject: Sometime in NYC
Message-ID: <9a.6fc11af.269a6f36@aol.com>

In a message dated 7/9/00 7:09:59 PM US Eastern Standard Time,
<owner-chalkhills@chalkhills.org> writes:

> Sometime In New York City- John Lennon(Shrill, tuneless protest music.
Next!)

Wrong wrong WRONG!  It has great moments on the studio disc ("John Sinclair"
being one of the best - dig that slide guitar), and the live disc with Frank
Zappa's '71-era mothers is BRILLIANT.  Zappa's mix of the songs is much
better than the Lennon-Ono mix, but it's still killer.  You have no soul!

- - -
Reverend Jody L. Barnes
http://members.aol.com/StucoHomes
"May the baby Jesus shut your mouth and open your mind." - Don Vliet
"He who hesitates is lost." - Andy Partridge

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 10 Jul 2000 01:02:53 -0500
From: "Joe Funk" <twosheds@mindspring.com>
Subject: Ouchless Band Aide
Message-ID: <007b01bfea34$7d3fdec0$7721fea9@user>

Greetings!  Chalklings!!

Ken Lansdowne ....(a fan since hearing their first John Peel session) wrote:

>If I were compiling a similar list, English Settlement would be up in the
>top 10 along with Revolver and Never Mind the Bollocks (as would Foxtrot by
>Genesis, another band who missed the list)

I completely agree with you..except, "Selling England by the Pound" should
be the selection from Genesis.  (though Foxtrot is marvelous!!)...

.... XTC not in the top 100?  What did you expect?
 These guys GET NO RESPECT!!!

And I had to just crack-up at Randy (otherwise nameless in Seattle) Hiatt's
band names!!  My band is/was named Two Sheds..but I found out there
already is a TWO SHEDS in Sweden!!!  So I might just have to pick one
out of his list........  Let's see...

.....>Joe................................?
.....>Post Burrito Depression..?
.....>Prog Rock Pond Scum....?

Any one else got any ideas for me?

Spank you very much,

Joe "toy boat, toy boat, toy boat" Funk

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2000 17:17:50 -0700 (PDT)
From: Molly Fanton <mfanton99@yahoo.com>
Subject: A couple of things
Message-ID: <20000710001750.14931.qmail@web1306.mail.yahoo.com>

I'm not apologizing for what I said about the
listening parties, but I take back what I said about
you people.  For the most part you guys and gals are
still very decent people.  When I wrote the post I was
torked (not Peter) off about nobody showing up.  And I
take the thing about if anybody starting their own
listening parties that I won't show up.  I might show
up. :)
I converted another person with XTC.  My cousin is the
newest XTC convert.  I was listening to Wasp Star on
my discman, and my cousin was wondering what I was
listening to.  I said XTC, and I gave her the
headphones.  "The Man Who Murdered Love" was playing,
and she really liked it.
I even showed her the Chalkhills web site.  She
thought it looked really cool, and I let her borrow a
tape I made of some of XTC's songs.  I'll be seeing
her again this coming weekend.  It'll be fun to see if
she really gets into them like I did.  She also thinks
Colin's pretty cute. :)
I'll now have to check the VH1 site to see if Andy's
going to be on The List this coming Thursday.  If so
I'll have to set my VCR, because I'll be down at my
parents' again, I hope this time I don't break any
other bones. :P

Molly

=====
AIM Name: MFanton00
Website: http://www.angelfire.com/mn/mollyfa99/index.html
Fave Quote: "If your flight is going rough, your sould will lead you
to the nearest exit" - Jump - XTC (A. Partridge)

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2000 22:59:15 EDT
From: WTDK@aol.com
Subject: Molly's lament
Message-ID: <39.739f9e4.269a9603@aol.com>

Molly writes:

>   So from now on there won't be anymore listening
>  parties.  I tried the best I could.  I made it at a
>  time of day where more people could come, but I guess
>  nobody wants to be in chat with me.

No, actually Molly the two times I've been able to attend your listening
parties I've found you very nice and quite charming. For me, at least, it
has more to do with having three small children and a very busy
schedule. Also, I usually find the chats a little awkward (just me,
personally) because you can't hear the person's voice. It makes it far
easier to misunderstand them (and miss communicate). I've chatted through
aol a couple of times and had to explain jokes a bit--which makes them
totally devoid of humor.

It's probably a fine idea for single folks or those with older kids but
just didn't work for me. I wouldn't take it personally after all this is a
time of the year where most folks take vacation time and are away.

Anybody wanna do a swap? The only demos I'm missing from Wasp Star are
Colin's (including the one tune not included on either album). Don't have
much but am adding to my ever expanding collection!

http://members.aol.com/wtdk/CDRTRADES.html

Bands I can live without:
Dear or Alive (preferable the former)
Culture Club (Yes, BG, I did want to hurt you!)
Pet Shop Boys (OK, they're clever but I still can't stand them)
Boston
Europe
Kansas (Any band named after a city, state or country must be pretty bad)

JT Thomas--a personal note--I still have the Harrison CD pix but don't know
where to send them!

Happily stupid

Wayne

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 9 Jul 2000 22:55:56 -0400
From: "Stig" <rat-fink@mindspring.com>
Subject: Re: Go Gavin Go
Message-ID: <000701bfea1a$5fea40a0$6a04f7a5@grolen.com>

Hey, kids:
Checking out Harrison's tip

>Wasp Star is at #12, up from #15, on the Gavin Triple A chart for the week
>ending 6/30. (http://www.gavin.com/music/a3/chart.shtml)
>
>Go, little record, go!

I dug a bit deeper and found this interview
http://www.gavin.com/music/0005/xtc.shtml

Cheers!
Steve

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 10 Jul 2000 10:30:22 +0100
From: "Smith, David" <David.Smith@tfeurope.com>
Subject: RE: It's all Molly's fault . . .
Message-ID: <4BBE67B71C1DD411A23600508B65F71E685F83@tfsecmsg04.tfseur.co.uk>

Oh Gawd Molly!

I'm not gonna go through it again, but read my post last time you got
a serious downer on yourself 'cos a listening party wasn't a
rip-roaring success.

Alright, I will go through it again - there are a myriad of reasons
why people would/wouldn't do/don't can/can't come to listening
parties, birthday parties, political parties, tea parties or a drink
at the local pub.

Let's think . . . don't like the album, doing something else, don't
like listening parties per se, out of town, forgot about it, living in
a different time zone (that one to be sung to the tune of "Living In
Another Cuba"), can't really afford to be on-line that long, might run
into Dom in mid-rant.  The list is endless.

Until you stamp on the little voice in your head that says "it's all
Molly's fault" you're gonna tear yourself apart blaming yourself for
everything from listening parties to global warming (which, on the
strength of the English summer so far, is pure myth - AND NOT your
fault).

All you needed to say was "no one made the D&W party, so I'm
not doing any more unless I know people are interested" Period.
Forget all that bollocks about "it must be me" just 'cos some
sad tosspot got his rocks off on being snidey and vicious from
behind the e-mail barrier.

You take this all too personally luv - like I said before, if we don't
come, it's our loss! (Oooh, errr, sounds like one of Andy's penis
songs).

Ask yourself two questions. Did YOU listen to Drums and Wires? Did you
enjoy it?  There you go then!

Smudgeboy
E-Mail: david.smith@tfeurope.com

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 10 Jul 2000 10:07:46 +0200
From: Klaus Bergmaier <klaus.bergmaier@maxonline.at>
Subject: loads of xtc in austria and germany
Message-ID: <51018E3C4D8BD311A8E90000C0C7910D01CB52@N756P012.dipool.highway.telekom.at>

Dear all!

Just to let you know: Dozens of newspapers and magazines in Austria and
Germany have big XTC interviews and WS reviews. I have never read that much
about XTC. Idea Records and/or Cooking Vinyl do a good job.

For instance the LIBRO-Journal Nr. 7/2000, from Austrias biggest chain of
Record/Book/Officeware-Shops LIBRO (www.lion.cc) have a big feauture called
"In search of the perfect pop song". I'm sure you can order a free copy
(maybe they ask for shipping) via service@lion.cc

The biggest interview/feature is found in the German keyboarder's (!)
magazine "Keyboards" (www.keyboards.de) in their latest edition 08/00. On
the homepage there is only a sneak preview of the article. As you maybe can
figure out, there is also a photograph showing CM & AP on the cover of the
magazine.

BTW: I wanted to attend a concert by King Crimson on June 16 in
Vienna/Austria but it was cancelled in the last minute due to illness of
Adrian Belew. They have no new dates confirmed.

What I did see and hear was a free concert by Manfred Mann's Earth Band last
Friday (July 7th) in St. Polten, Lower Austria. Especially their lead singer
Noel McCalla is excellent. Unfortunately they didn't play my favourite MMEB
tune "Lies (all thru the 80s)". The solos bored me a bit (too long), but
that's the way the 70s were.

Did anyone realize or point out the similarity between "I'll be your Albert,
if you'll be Victoria-haha" and "I'll be your Burton, if you'll be my Liz"?
Volume 1 and 2. What a concept...

Best wishes to you all
Klaus

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 10 Jul 2000 10:04:03 +0100
From: "Smith, David" <David.Smith@tfeurope.com>
Subject: Re: Crap Bands
Message-ID: <4BBE67B71C1DD411A23600508B65F71E685F82@tfsecmsg04.tfseur.co.uk>

Greetings Chalklings

Back on to the thread of crap bands, I noted that me old Croydon
mucker Rory wasn't that enamoured of 70's pop, I quote:

	"The Seventies provide rich pickings. I shall name but a few:
	Wizard, Slade, Mud, Pilot, Sweet, Showaddywaddy. All
	guilty of crimes against humanity. And music. And fashion.
	And taste.

Alright, easy tiger, I must jump to one or two defensive stances
(being the senile old git that I am). Wizzard (as they are spelled in
Pedant-land) were, of course, fronted by that multi-talented and
many faceted genius known as Roy Wood - also the driving force
behind The Move and co-founder of ELO.

Now I make no secret of my regard for ELO and I also think that, if
you do some serious wheat/chaff sorting for the Move and Wizzard
there are some real gems to be found. From The Move I give you
"Fire Brigade" as an example of PERFECT pop writing, closely
followed by "Blackberry Way". From his Wizzard days I still grin from
ear to ear whenever I hear "Angel Fingers" (btw some say it's another
song about hte five-finger shuffle) and "Forever".

Slade too wrote great rockin' pop tunes - their only crime in my eyes is
this: without Slade there would be no Oasis (ahhhh, if only . . .).

Mud, Sweet, Showaddywaddy - alright, fair dos, pretty tedious - but
again, if you're into pure pop, there are some great moments, not
least "Tiger Feet" and "Blockbuster". These are exactly what pop songs
should be - silly, catchy, totally preposterous and dashed good fun to
dance to after 8 pints of Watney's Red Barrel.

Saving the best for last - go back and listen to Pilot's two major
hits (It's Magic and January). Drive the visual of the horrible
fashions out of your mind and listen to the level of musicianship on
those two songs - it's outstanding. I had this same conversation with
a friend recently and we are both convinced that if one of the
nauseating boy bands around covered either of these songs, they would
be surefire number 1s (OK, so that's NOT exactly a great reference).

My point is, Pilot comprised a bunch of the best session musicians
that money could hire in those days. Dave Paton, the bassist and lead
singer, is still one of the most in demand session bassists playing
today. Love those guys.

Crimes against music - come on! Crimes against fashion - guilty m'lud!

Oh . . . and yes, I do like a small dose of Alan Parsons Project now and
then.

Flame on . . .

Smudgeboy
E-Mail: david.smith@tfeurope.com

PPS, by the way-type thing, is it just me, or do the seventies appear
in a much more relevant context if you say everything in a Brum accent
(that's Birmingham, England btw). Awlrooooight, how'm yam'all doing??

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 09 Jul 2000 20:21:39 PDT
From: "Duncan Kimball" <dunks58@hotmail.com>
Subject: Them's fightin' words!
Message-ID: <20000710032139.9720.qmail@hotmail.com>

Chalky ones:

Funny how the mere mention of ELP brings the closet fans out of the
woodwork. I love that about this list. Slag the most obscure band you can
think of and it will elicit an impassioned defence. I spose ELP are not
really THAT bad(?). It's been a long time since I heard them, I have to say.
I guess just liked them a whole lot more when they were The Nice ... before
Emerson's ego tumour took total control of the regions of his brain
governing good taste and irony.

>From: Rory Wilsher <rory_wilsher@yahoo.co.uk>
>Subject: The Worst Band In The World
>
>But on to "real" bands. The Seventies provide rich
>pickings. I shall name but a few: Wizard, Slade, Mud,
>Pilot, Sweet, Showaddywaddy. All guilty of crimes
>against humanity. And music. And fashion. And taste.
>And common decency. And taking food from the mouths of
>more deserving artists.

Wizzard?? Are you mental??? Take not the name of the lord thy Woody in
vain, lest he smite you, for terrible is he in his wrath, and swift is his
vengeance.

Slade? Cum on, Rory, feel the noyze. Whatever your personal opinion of them,
Slade were fine musicians (Noddy being without doubt one of THE great
British rock voices), and of course they were not to be taken particularly
seriously -- a point I think a lot of people tend to forget about the 70s
glam era. (You can't tell me Dave Hill didn't have a sense of humour - I
mean ... just check out the haircut, for starters!) They wrote some some
great, fun, rockin', stupidly happy pop-rock; with all due respect to John
Sebastian, I think Slade's version of "Darlin' Be Home Soon" is bloody
marvellous. Dare I point out that they were also  HUGELY successful. And I
think you have to have some respect for the nous of Chas Chandler, whose
previous discovery was an obscure Afro-American singer/songwriter called
Jimi Hendrix. While obviously not quite in the same league, I doubt that
Chas would have attached himself to Slade if they were as utterly crap as
you make out.

TRIVIA: my favourite cover of Slade is on that great album called
"Miniatures" (the one with all the one-minute songs, whence springs Andy's
"History Of Rock & Roll") - the track where Neil Innes' young son
accompanies himself on drums while singing "Cum on feel the noyze, girls
stab the boys". I laugh every time.

Mud? Never really made an impression up here I think. Showaddywaddy ditto.
Sweet? Well, OK you have to question whether they would have been much of
anything without the Ever-Popular Chinn & Chapman Effect, but they were fun
and sounded good on record at least. Don't stress out Rory, it's only
rock'n'roll.

Pilot? Regrettably pigeonholed forever as a one-hit wonder, due to the
lamentable "January", although I remember reading in that BBC "The
Producers" book years ago where Roy Thomas Baker (I think) spoke of them in
glowing terms, and recorded an album with them which sank like a stone,
although he swore it was brilliant and praised them fulsomely. Such is life.
I think various members turned up later on playing for 3rd rate club acts
like Paul McCartney and 10CC. Obviously no good.

Actually I can think of HORDES of acts from the 70s and 80s I like much less
than the ones you've named. I'd take Slade any day over the scores of stupid
big-haired, lycra-tighted pop metal bands of the 80s (Motley Crue, yadda
yadda yadda).

Which brings me, appositely, to this from

>From: KINGSTUNES@aol.com
>Subject: Q Up for the Farsical History Tour

>On the worst band thread -- (In my best Mick Jagger crowd control at
>Altamont voice) -Payple!  Payple!  Playse, Payple!

Hahahahahahah. Good one! Hey! That gives me an idea for a new thread:
Best/Worst Rock Movie Moments.

Here are a few of mine:

1. The scene in "Gimme Shelter" where a whacked-out Jerry Garcia (what
other kind is there?) alights from his helipcopter at the festival (as you
do) to be told that one of the Hell's Angels has walloped Mick
Jagger. Garcia reacts to the news with a risible response that sums up the
simpering ineffectuality of the whole west coast 'peace and love' ethos so
perfectly that I suspect it must have been written for him by Frank
Zappa. In his best stoned hippie whine, Jerry replies:

"Someone hit Mick? Oh bummmmerrr!!"

2. The lovely bit in Monterey Pop, where Janis is blasting out "Ball &
Chain" and it cuts to a shot of an obviously blown-away Mama Cass sitting in
the audience, clearly mouthing the words "Wow, that's really heavy!"

3. The famous dressing-room argument between Dylan and the hapless Life
journalist in "Don't Look Back". This should be included in any training
film on How To Be A Star. It's fun, and Dylan is brilliant to watch in
full flight (where did it all go wrong, Bob?) but it is rather like
watching a child burn ants with a magnifying glass. The poor schmuck from
Life (SURELY the inspiration for Mr Jones??) is clearly not even in the
same library, let alone the same page.

Where was I. Oh yes. Lists. *sigh*. Why is it every time a rock mag
publishes a lit of the "100 Best Whatevers of Whenever", there is always a
certain segment of the population who take the bait regardless? My views
on this kind of uninspired, cynical and frankly insulting exercise in lazy
fat-arsed rope-a-dope journalism are well known to the Chalk fraternity,
and need no further repetition.

Re; "pabulum" - Dorothy, flattery will get you everywhere. Call me later.

XTC content: oh shit - now I'm really caught with my pants down. Ummmmm ...
ummmmm .... ummmmm....

When's Fuzzy Warbles coming out?

Jesse's Literature Tips:

This season, I are been mostly reading Vincent Lo Brutto's excellent
Stanley Kubrick biography (Faber). If you think Andy gets some bad press
for being single-minded, this will slay you. While reading in bed last
night I woke the whole family, guffawing at Stan's obsessive antics while
shooting 'Spartacus'. For example, when shooting the aftermath of the
Slaves v.  Romans battle (originally planned for the Universal backlot)
Stan decided *he* wanted it done on a soundstage instead. So the Art Dept
spends weeks and tens of thousands of bucks recreating the hillside set
across three stages, dressing it and placing hundreds of extras as dead
bodies. On shooting day, Stan walks in, takes one look at it and says: "I
don't like it. I want to do it outside." They did.

Even funnier is the story about the night-before-the-crucifixion scene.
According to Tony Curtis, Kubrick repeatedly stopped takes of the
conversation with him and Kirk Douglas discussing their fate, because Stan
was not satisfied with the background action from the dozens of extras
portraying crucified slaves, who were supposed to wriggle, moan and groan
on cue to various lines in the dialogue.

(Sorry to rave on, but I have to share this one - it totally cracked me up,
and it's a great story:)

'He called for (assistant director) Marshall Green and said, "Marshall,
the guy up there on the twentieth cross on the left is supposed to
struggle, but he didn't move at all. I want you to go up there and tell
him that on the 'cherries' (dialogue cue) and the handkerchief signal from
you, he's got to move. I can't use the megaphone to tell him during the
shot because it'll screw up the dialogue."

'"Green gave Kubrick a dirty look, turned round and walked up to the
highest point on the hill. It took him three minutes to get to the cross
right near the end. There were about thirty five crosses on either side
and this was one of the farthest ones." Curtis watched Green looking up at
the cross. It seemed like he was having a conversation with the
extra. "Marshall turned round and walked slowly back down the hill just
looking at his feet and took another three minutes. He walks straight up
to Kubrick and says, "It's a fucking dummy." Kubrick displayed no surprise
or regret and gave a calm reply like, "Oh well then put on wires and
wiggle it."'

Dunks

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End of Chalkhills Digest #6-181
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11 July 2000 / Feedback