Chalkhills Digest Volume 5, Issue 214
Date: Monday, 24 May 1999

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 214

                   Monday, 24 May 1999

Today's Topics:

                    Molly Up On Poppy
                       The Liarbird
               Nudge, nudge, wink, wink...
                        xTc on Mp3
                     Little Green Men
                    It's Growing Green
                     Through The Hill
   The Partridge, Moulding and Gregory Report: 5-21-99
        My one, two, three, four, five cents worth
              Dave Gregory and Barry Andrews
                    New to Chalkhills
                       What Rocks?
                   NOT BORING BASTARDS!
    "The music of XTC ---A very special tribute album"


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    The views expressed herein are those of the individual authors.

    Chalkhills is compiled with Digest 3.7 (John Relph <>).

So just love your dog and don't kick your wife (put down that knife).


Message-Id: <>
From: "Mark Strijbos" <>
Date: Fri, 21 May 1999 16:59:17 +0200
Subject: Molly Up On Poppy

Dear Chalkers,

The Lurking Andy Thread refuses to die it seems...

> >Chris D.?  Chris C.?  Harrison? Dom?  Molly?  Amanda?
> >
> >Which one do YOU think is the real Andy P.?

Oh my God, suddenly it all becomes clear to me...
Andy is using his daughter to spy on us; Molly = Holly !!!

yours in xtc,

Mark Strijbos at The Little Lighthouse


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 21 May 1999 09:37:26 EDT
Subject: The Liarbird

Hello XTC Clan ~

I was compelled to write; compelled to think; am compelled to perseverate
about Ian Reid...Hmph.

After scrutinzing XTC's performance, Dennis Detheridge told Ian Reid [in
1976] he thought they had potential and could get somewhere.  Reid
immediately offered them a management deal and the band eagerly signed -
without any deep discussion or consideration of the terms.  It was the
start of a relationship that would take them several times around the
world, through tremendous highs and lows and end - ultimately - in a long,
bitter and expensive dispute. (_XTC: Chalkhills and Children_, Twoney, page

I read this book by Twoney, like 2 months ago, and since then, cannot get
the image of their "band manager" out of my head.  I even have his
photograph etched in the tiny grey cells in my head!  How XTC began a trip
down "rip-off alley" and they had no idea.

Reid and Detheridge soon got down to the business of promoting XTC.  A
company called Allydor Limited was bought "off the shelf" for the purposes
of managing the group, who were led to believe they would be directors of
their 'own' company.  Although Detheridge was not given a directorship of
Allydor, he had a written agreement entitling him to a share of the
company's future profits and was paid a small retainer by Reid for his
services. (IBID, page 57.)

Of course, when you are a young, hungry, eager musician, and you are good
enough to "land a deal," especially at their age and at the *time* they got
their contract, you aren't too concerned about the details, all you know is
that you've got a record deal, and that's it!

By mid July (1977) it had become obvious that XTC was going to sign to
either Virgin or Island.  CBS had failed to better their "C" offer and any
other interested companies had by now dropped away. (IBID, page 66.)

It's too bad that hind - sight was not 20/20 in 1977!  And, it was too bad
that XTC had no counsel to consider their deal either.

Towards the end of July, Reid took his wife and two small daughters on
holiday to (sic) Devon.  While he was away Virgin finally agreed to all the
band's terms.  [More like all of Reid's terms, to me.]  So keen were they
to close the deal with Ian Reid that they sent a motorbike courier all the
way from London to Sidmouth with a copy of the contract.  (How generous of
them...)  A few days later, on August 9 [1977] the formalities were
completed in Steven Fisher's office [who was Allydor's Counsel, not XTC's
members] just off Oxford Street.  (The complexity of the situation meant
that in fact only Ian Reid was signing with Virgin and the band had a
separate deal with Allydor - the company they thought they owned.)  [IBID,
page 67]

So, who has Ian's address?  I would love to give him "WHAT FOR!"

Although the Virgin deal was fairly generous by 1977 standards - 250,000
pounds covering a six album period - the initial 25,000 pounds advance
(15,000 pounds from Virgin Records and the 10,000 pounds from the
publishers Virgin Music) paid to Allydor was nothing to shout about. Even
more modest was the 25 pounds weekly wage for Ian Reid to advance each
member of the band. [IBID, page 67]

Nothing to "shout about?"  Cheap bastard; IF I COULD SCREAM LOUD ENOUGH, I

My Calculator shows that each member would have received 1300 pounds per
year.  That's 5200 pounds for all members, per year.  That's 31000 pounds
in six years.  The rest, you can figure.

You know how it feels "at the movies" when you can identify emotionally
with the main character?  And you "feel" their pain, sorrow, anguish,
disgust, distress, happiness, bowel movements, etc?  You *are* the
character...some great Directors can *reproduce* this effect on movie-goers
so well, that the emotions jump out of the screen and into your persona.

In this calamitous event, you can do nothing but feel morose and despondent
about XTC's situation at this point in their career, and I tell you, my
stomach is upset every time I read about it, think about it, or listen to
their music at times.  And, there is nothing I can do, dammit!

Andy: "As soon as we'd signed our record deal we naively thought 'This is
it.  We're finally going to be rich and famous.'  This is the moment we've
been waiting for.  We thought we were going to go straight to number one
with our first record and then we'd all be able to retire.  Of course it
doesn't really happen like that." [IBID, page 67.]

Can anyone imagine what Andy was going through all those years, worrying
about money, and the lack of it, and wondering when they would finally be
"rich and famous?"  Can you imagine the stress it must have had on the guy?
The stress on the band members as a whole?  Honest people, trying to make a
buck at something they loved to do, play music, and look what they got?
F**K!  Can you tell I am p-o'd about this problematic situation?

Years later with the debts they owed?  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!  And, yeah,
Reid promised the band after "Making Plans For Nigel" became a hit, with
"Life Begins at the Hop", in 1980, a 600.00 pound bonus to play in
Australia?  [IBID, page 114.]  Yee hah!  Wo Boy!  What was Reid 'taking
home' exactly at this point?  Only his bloody accountant would know, or
Fisher, his QC.  The hatred must have been unweilding when XTC figured it

As Andy exiled himself in his own garden, the cancelled American tour left
a line of creditors and debts totalling 20,000 pounds [IBID, page 127.]
-And that was just the beginning of the debts too.

Unable to rehearse the new songs (songs recorded in Andy's shed, and that
which would eventually make the MUMMER cut) the band decided to concentrate
on restructuring their financial affairs.  Reid advised that XTC was
already 75,000 pounds in debt to Allydor and refused to advance further
money to pay Entec (who was responsible for the American Tours' sound and
pre-rehearsal space, i.e. a warehouse).

Poor guy; terrible stage fright, and NO touring nowExcited utterances,
excited expletives...anguish....

Finally at this point in June 1982, XTC consult accountants via Wilkinson &
Mellor, who recommend a music business lawyeryeah!  Renegotiate to pay off
those debts.furthering their Virgin career, despite their situationthe hole
is growing larger, no thanks to Reid.  Who knows if Reid's Allydor "could"
have paid off the bands' debts.  But you know how greed works, don't you?

"I'm floating over strange land
It's a soulless, sequined, showbiz moon"
 - AP,_Chalkhills and Children_, Oranges and Lemons.

I feel for you, man.  I really do!

One is left wondering what of the actual amount of money the band was
entitled to, which was lost to Virgin or Reid's Allydor, given the numbers,
the debts, and how much each individual band member "actually" received in
wages, royalties, etc

Responsible for their demise, Reid actually squandered from one of the most
precious bands, a band whose music making and creativity was/is some of the
most prolific music for the "thinking man and woman," that it blows me

I often wonder now, what would have happened to XTC if they *deducted* Reid
from the manager role, and from the XTC *whole?* What would their career
consist of today?  Would their musical direction and lyrical satire have
gone in a different direction? Would they still be touring, or have toured
more so in the 80's and early 90's?  Would Virgin be carrying *their* bags?

These questions, and more I am sure, will give rise to a lifelong debate in
the world of XTC music...

I am besides myself now.

John Gardner


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 21 May 1999 09:27:27 -0700
From: Yoshiko Yeto <>
Subject: Nudge, nudge, wink, wink...

Howdy Chalkhillies-

I can not express my admiration for Monty Python enough.  As a watershed of
culture in the sixties, the Pythons riotously explored the confines of
social strata, issues of gender, and sex (amongst other things).  Their
surreal approach, which made ample use of free association and automatism,
allowed viewers to vicariously flout stringent social mores.

The Python's influence on the Beatles can be directly traced to the
exquisitely demented "Bonzo Dog Doo/Dah Band".  Neil Innes, a key Bonzo
member, appeared occaisionally on the Python's show.  Likewise, the Bonzos
performed "Death-cab for Cutie" in the Beatles "Magical Mystery Tour".
However the most famous convergence of the Pythons/Beatles/Bonzo occured
with the brilliant creation of the Beatles spoof, "The Rutles", which
featured both Eric Idle and Neil Innes.

Here's the XTC content: "I'm the Urban Spaceman" was produced by Apollo C.
Vermouth (very Dukes!).  Mr. Vermouth was actually the combined talents of
Paul McCartney and Gus Dudgeon!

I know that this is probably redundant for most of you.  "Nevertheless",
for those of uninitiated to the wicked ways of the Bonzos, I couldn't
recommend them highly enough.

Anyhew, that is my overly verbose tribute to both Monty Python and the
Bonzo Dog Doo/Dah Band.  I hope that I did not leave you too terribly motor
bored.  Cheers to Cool Brittannia!

Malady "Goose-Step Mama" Nelson


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 21 May 1999 10:30:36 -0700
From: Randy Hiatt <>
Subject: xTc on Mp3

I may be the 200th person to post this tid bit
but...  On my electronic RollingStone it listed...

Musicians from Korn to XTC reveal their true
feelings about the MP3 revolution.
Full Column at:


"[Online music] won't replace albums. It'll just be something else."

"I think people will still want the iconic little objects, the
Virgin-Mary-with-blood-watering-out-of-her-eyes object."

JAMES CURY (May 17, 1999)

Randy (another Pugetite) Hiatt


Message-ID: <003301bea3b6$55e1f680$>
From: "JH3" <>
Subject: Little Green Men
Date: Fri, 21 May 1999 13:18:33 -0500

Another "Greenman" that I don't think has been mentioned is
Albert DeSalvo, who before securing his place in history as the
notorious Boston Strangler was known as the "Green Man" for
committing a series of sexual assaults on women in the Boston
area in which he would show up at the doors of women's homes
wearing a green army uniform. In each case he would tie his
victims up with rope before assaulting them (though I'm sure
the "forever to him you're tied" line has nothing to do with this
whatsoever). I use the word "assaulted" because (IIRC) he had
some difficulty in actually consummating the act, so to speak.

Anyway, after he confessed to being The Boston Strangler,
everyone forgot all about his earlier moniker, as you might

Just a bit of trivia to lighten your day, there.

One more thing: I noticed on eBay the other day that some
people are selling off their old Atari ST monochrome monitors,
and the prices are generally somewhere in the $10-$20 range.
Didn't Andy Partridge say he was having trouble with his Atari
ST monochrome monitor a while ago? And was that why he
couldn't remix some of his old demo recordings? I'm a more
than a little sketchy on the details, but if that's true and the
thing never got fixed or replaced, it just might be a nice gift

John Hedges


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 21 May 1999 13:17:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: Chris Desmond <>
Subject: Aha!

The Coolidge-meister made the revealing statement:
>You can rule me out, though I'm flattered to be on the short list.
>If I'm Andy, then he's damn brilliant(and boxed out of his mind)to
>make up someone like me. Some of my friends have told me in the past
>that if I didn't actually exist someone would have to make me up,
>which would probably mean I'm a figment of my wife's fertile

That's it! It was bothering me to no end that someone would knowingly
and willingly co-habitate with a known Air Supply fanatic! And here's
the reason, so obvious to me now: you don't exist! You are indeed a
figment of your wife's imagination, her ideal husband that she knows
could never truly exist. What other explanation could there be?

Whew...I think I'll rest much easier now.



Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 21 May 1999 18:03:47 -0400
From: Harrison Sherwood <>
Organization: Averstar, Inc.
Subject: It's Growing Green

> From: "Debra Edmonds" <>
> Subject: See Dave Gregory play live !

> [Dave G.] has agreed to play with David Marx's band
> "The Refugees" at the KosovAid Concert to be held on Sunday 30th May at The
> Oasis, Swindon.  And guess what??  Barry Andrews will also be joining Dave
> on stage to play keyboards!!

> So, for those of you who want to catch these two ex-members playing live on
> stage together, you'd better get your tickets fast!  Tickets are #15.00
> each and can be obtained from The Oasis on 01793 445401.

Well, I conducted a couple of scientific-type tests, using careful
double-blind techniques, strictly regulated lighting, control groups and
what have you, and the conclusion is inescapable--I sent the results of my
research off to the American Dermatological Association this morning, for
publication in the next issue of their journal, "The Fistula." Ladies and
gentlemen, I can now state categorically and without fear of contradiction:
Yes, it is actually possible to turn green with envy.


> From: Mor_Goth <>
> Subject: Madtown, Greenman

> I take the Greenman to be a reference to the
> mythical figure in english literature, most famously represented in the
> ancient Arthurian legend "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight"

[great stuff snipped]

> From: gene <>

> He is the Greenman, the man who feels a love so great and eternal not
> only as lover/husband and father but for humanity as a whole, a love as
> powerful and as profound as that of the most mystical deity.

[more great stuff snipped]

Both excellent posts. But I fear we're straying a little from the central
point of the song, which is that in churches all across Europe (and indeed
in other places and other religions as well) there appears an architectural
motif, called a Green Man, that is very specific: A male face made of
leaves, or appearing to emerge from leaves. The face has been identified
with characters from pre-Christian religions including (as you say) the
Green Knight, but also Robin Hood, John Barleycorn, Jack in the Green,
Herne the Hunter (and poser of baroque contests in Chalkhills), and,
farther afield, Pan and Osiris.

The song "Greenman," it strikes me, is (as you quite correctly point out) a
celebration of the atavistic, pre-Christian, nature-worshipping heart of
old, indigenous religions--but it's also specifically about this spirit's
ability to survive through the surreptitious handiwork of crafty
stonemasons and woodcarvers, who place these leafy faces on hidden parts of
pews and altarpieces and roof-bosses and stained-glass windows. That is the
significance of the line "An unknowing church will amplify his call"; the
Green Man is _hidden_; and he sends out his seductive call from the very
heart of the sanctuary of the selfsame New Religion that forbids his
worship.  _There's_ the conflict in the song: You can try as hard as you
like, you priests and bishops, to quash Horny Old Nature-boy, but he will
always be with us in the cycle of the seasons, the eternal ebb and flow of
Life Its Ownself.

From Mike Harding's excellent essay on Green Men

     An old English Folk Song collected in the early years of this century
     tells of such a god, John Barleycorn, who was cut down by three men
     who 'came out of the West their fortunes for to try'.

          They let Him lie for a long long time
          Till the rain from Heaven did fall
          Then little Sir John sprung up his head
          Which so amazed them all.'

The amusing irony at work here is, of course, that the figure of Jesus is
himself so plainly yet another Green Man:

     ...Oh they buried my body, they thought I'd gone
     But I and the dance still go on
     They cut me down, but I lept on high
     I am the light that will never, never die ...

(How we get from here to "Tinky Winky is gay" is, of course, the Central
Mystery of Contemporary Christianity...)

Check Harding's essay, and also Ruth Wylie's article in "At The Edge"
(, which is part of an
entire special issue given over to Green Men and tree veneration
( Both articles have many
links to images of Green Men, from Europe and (most interestingly)

> From: james isaacs <>
> Subject: Green Man in another land

> (several) papers I wrote concerned a Swiss writer named Jeremias Gotthelf
> (a pen name- real name Albert Bitzius).  Back in the 1820s, he wrote a book
> called "The Black Spider", and within the text is a mention of a "Green
> Man."  Unlike our Green Fellow, this Green man is the devil, and is a
> pretty mean mofo- actually, wouldn't the devil be mean?

Well, yes, and that, of course, has been pretty much the Christian strategy
all along, hasn't it? Isn't that where Old Scratch picked up the horns and
the cloven hoofs and what-have-you? From the indigenous religions, from
which they appropriated everything that was useful and called the rest
"Satan"? Herne?  (*Our* Herne...) Got anything to contribute? Here's
Harding's take on it:

     A great number of the images and practices of the modern church have a
     Pagan origin. Yew trees and Holy Water, candles and bells, the dates
     of most of the major religious festivals, the fact that many of the
     oldest churches are on Pagan sites (some even within stone circles)
     and that saints like Brigid or Bride are Christian versions of the
     Pagan Goddess Brid, all indicate a stronger Pagan influence on
     Christianity than the Church has often cared to admit. The Green Man
     therefore may be just another example of a Pagan image brought into
     the Church to be made safe.

     As to the Green Lady, well there is good reason to believe that the
     cult of the Virgin Mary which was suppressed with such vigour by the
     Reformation and by the Puritans was related to the worship of the
     Green Man's female counterpart....

Harrison "Proudly worshipping female counterparts since 1974" Sherwood


Message-ID: <002001bea3f8$10c95740$700db3d1@oemcomputer>
From: "Aaron Pastula" <>
Subject: Through The Hill
Date: Fri, 21 May 1999 19:08:12 -0700

Jesse sayeth -

>has anyone heard any of the andy partridge solo stuff?  i saw the one he
>did with budd in a store once, but it was mighty pricy... whats his solo
>stuff like?  is it more exprimental?  does he do the dub thing?

Through The Hill isn't dub; Explode Together is way dub (new adjective
alert) and contains twisted up versions of the old tunes you already know -
many of them, I think, are quite clever.  Through the Hill is a kind of
concept album of original compositions...a concept album of *what* I'm not
exactly sure, although it seems to be a sort of archeological expedition set
to music, or something...maybe it's music set to an archeological

Anyway, I have to say that I personally LOVE Through The Hill; in fact,
since I got it it's probably the XTC-related album that I play the most
frequently (until AV1 hit town, of course).  I own no other forms of "new
age" music, and certainly the only reason I got it is because of Andy's
involvement.  But his fingerprints are all over this music, and to me it
fits amazingly well into the entire XTC catalogue, even though it's probably
not meant to.  It has no lyrics, save for two pieces of spoken AP poetry
(spoken by Budd, actually) and hardly any percussion.  Most people will
probably dismiss it, and I would certainly understand if it did not come
highly recommended; still, I will insist that it deserves to be heard and is
quite compelling.  I wouldn't even know what to compare it to, though; any

So, yes.  Check it out.



Message-Id: <v03007805b36a66d80ec3@[]>
Date: Fri, 21 May 1999 23:45:41 -0500
From: Mitch Friedman <>
Subject: The Partridge, Moulding and Gregory Report: 5-21-99

Hello Everyone,

Big news . . . well maybe it's not *exactly* XTC news but what the hell. I
had to get your attention somehow . . .

Yes I, me, yours truly, Mitch would like to announce the release of my
debut cd "THE IMPORTANCE OF SAUCE". 14 idiosyncratically quirky/catchy and
lyrically amusing pop songs in a wide variety of styles for your possible
listening enjoyment. What may be of interest to all of you is that none
other than Mr. Dave Gregory is prominently featured on the opening track
called "Simplification". His playing will, as usual, make you smack the
side of your head in awe and amazement. This song is also special in that I
got to co-write it with Ray Davies during the songwriting course I took
with him in March of '98.

For those of you who heard my XTSEA "thing" on the first Chalkhills'
Children collection, may I take the opportunity to promise you that there
is nothing at all like that on my cd. Songs, just songs, nothing but songs
that owe more than a tip of the hat to XTC, They Might Be Giants and The
Kinks. If any of you got a copy of the "Awaken You Dreamers" tape of
Chalkhills original songs, you will recognize my song "Purple Burt" if you
get my new cd.

I don't want to be seen as trying to take advantage of a captive audience,
namely *you* by posting this advertisement, but I'd love it if I could move
a few of the 500 units I've got boxed up in my apartment and you might be
pleasantly surprised by the material. I hope so.

If you'd like to buy one from me, please send $10 to

Mitch Friedman
168 Degraw Street - top floor
Brooklyn, NY 11231

XTC content? Well Andy and Colin are getting a copy too. ;-)




Message-ID: <>
Date: Sat, 22 May 1999 01:00:53 EDT
Subject: My one, two, three, four, five cents worth


Testamonial II:

Travels In Nihilon............................Blonde Redhead
I bought Myself A Liarbird................Brian Stevens
It's Nearly Africa.............................Jorge Ben
Desert Island..................................Ben Folds 5
Earn Enough For Us.......................Fountains Of Wayne
Ballet For A Rainy Day...................Eric Matthews
Ladybird........................................Prefab Sprout
Wake Up.......................................Adrian Belew
Love On A Farmboys Wages...........Jason Falkner
Yacht Dance..................................Spooky Ruben

been enjoyin' the posts lately, keep it up....

check out my XTC article for the Music Monitor: <A
HREF="">Click here: Music Monitor
Main Page</A>



Message-ID: <002701bea459$e11ef6a0$b539883e@oemcomputer>
From: "Kev Howard" <>
Subject: Dave Gregory and Barry Andrews
Date: Sat, 22 May 1999 14:49:08 +0100

Guitarist Dave Gregory and original member Barry Andrews are guesting with
Swindon band the Refugees for the Kosovaid concert at the Oasis leisure
centre May 30th 1999. Box office 01793 445401 Info 01672 541015 The line up
is as follows...Mike Scott (Waterboys) & friends, Midge Ure, Howard Jones
band, John Otway, Refugees, Unity + more musical guests. Tickets #15.


Message-ID: <>
Date: Sun, 23 May 1999 01:36:51 +0800
From: Jonathan Dutton <>
Subject: New to Chalkhills


I am a new member, but a long time fan of XTC.  I first saw the band on
the ABC-TV video clip show "rage" in early 1991, and shortly afterwards
bought my first XTC album, English Settlement, from a swap meet (for
$1!).  Before the "rusty kitchen utensils" come out, I should point out
that I have since purchased retail copies of all the albums.

I am now in my 22nd year, and live near the city of Perth in Western
Australia.  As you may be aware, XTC has a (relatively) large following
here (from memory, The Disappointed peaked at #2 on the state chart).
My favourite album is normally Oranges and Lemons, occasionally Nonsuch,
but at the moment I mostly listen to Apple Venus.

Besides XTC I also like The Beatles, The Kinks, The Move, early Pink
Floyd, Zappa, Todd Rundgren, Elvis Costello, TMBG and many, many more
which I won't bore you with.

For now.


Date: Sat, 22 May 1999 13:52:10 -0500 (CDT)
From: Marshall Needleman Armintor <>
Subject: What Rocks?
Message-ID: <>

 << HELMET - Aftertaste (Interscope 1997) / Meantime (Interscope 1992) >>

  Oh Dom, where the hell's _Betty_ (1994)?
  As a closet Helmet fan, it's my opinion they peaked with that record.
Not as off-putting as Meantime, it's more accessible, and well, maybe
Page Hamilton thought that was the problem, as _Aftertaste_ shows them
returning to their AmRep roots...unfortunately, as I saw it.  I honestly
think _Betty_ is one of the twenty best records of this decade, and at the
very least is the best thing to come out of the Nirvana-stoked
robber-baron land rush of the early 90's.  Everything on it rocks, and
"Overrated" is one my very favorite songs, ever.

    XTC content: Recently got _Transistor Blast_.  My God, could these
guys play.  Whew.  Funny how in box sets certain songs emerge as the
emblematic tune of the Elvis C.'s _2 1/2 Years_, there
were at least four versions of "Mystery Dance."  In this one, it seems
"Life Begins At the Hop" acquires a special significance.  Andy should
shake himself and just accept the fact that they kicked ass as
live rock band.  His liner notes are typically wonderful and
tongue-in-cheek, but good God, if I were in _that_ band at _that_
time, I woulda crowed just a little more about it.


np Zappa, _The Yellow Shark_


Message-Id: <>
From: "Michael Davies" <>
Date: Sat, 22 May 1999 16:15:01 -0500
Subject: Metal

> This is the really fast stuff. Hold on to your face! There are, naturally,
> differences between the above genres, but since this is an XTC forum it
> hardly seems worth being too anal about it. Needless to say, these records
> feature lots of grunted or screamed vocals, impossibly fast drumming and
> (some would say) needlessly complex arrangements. As with some jazz,
> listening to this stuff takes a certain amount of perseverance but (for some
> people at least) it's well worth the effort. Visceral thrills don't come
> cheap you know!

This is the only type of metal I like (Iron Maiden, Helloween etc. are
just dated, and I don't like drug-related things), and there are
a couple more worthy acts.  Dimmu Borgir are similar to Emperor,
mostly fast with keyboard and guitar melodies and screeching (I think
the screeching is more listenable than the growling, because you can
tell that they're saying words, at least), and they're not quite as
famous.  There are also some bands who do slower music with major
amounts of keyboards and usually try to sound either scary or
majestic; the best two bands in this style are Sigh and Limbonic
Art, who both do very melodic music.

Michael davies


Message-ID: <>
Date: Sat, 22 May 1999 21:53:28 +0100
From: B Blanchard <>

Oh Todd, you poor boy.

You wrote:
"Actually, Belinda sort of missed my point, too. I was trying to
be bit of a
bastard so she'd want me.  ;^)  "

Actually I meant I have a tendency to fancy bastards.  Not BORING
bastards!!!  Two completely different types of people, that!
At the beginning of your post I did a search
for my name, and indeed it came up!  Still didn't read the rest
of it in detail though.  It seemed to lack a point.

And if enough people miss your point which clearly they have
done, you ain't making that point clear enough.  What is your
damn point?!  No, don't tell me, I don't care.  I'm listening to
the music instead of talking about it.

Anyone in Britain know what happened to the Newtown Neurotics?
(They came from Harlow.)

Sadly I do not know what half the punctuation shorthands are yet,
having only been on line a couple of months, well, six.  So I
can't work out even if I turn my head sideways and do a headflip,
what the blinking flip a  ;^) is.  Is that like tongue in cheek?
But pray, whose cheek sir? Was it mine?  Ooh Mrs Slocombe!!!!!!

And Dom, thanks for the HM recommendations some of which in my
case were actually reminders.  Though for me, Cheetah at Reading
1983 was an experience I will never forget and you missed them
out.  Good reason for it of course, they were crap and no-one
really remembered or even knew what their music was like because
we (yes, we) were all watching them simulate (I think simulate)
sex with the roadies on the amp towers. Well, Cheetah were two
women and no-one gave a damn about the music they or their
session musicians were making they just wanted to see their tits
(hell, so did I!)

But why did you miss out Girlschool?!



Message-ID: <>
Date: Sat, 22 May 1999 18:23:34 -0400
Subject: "The music of XTC ---A very special tribute album"

> From: "Michael Versaci" <>
> Subject: Testimonial Emetic

> Folxtc,
> 1)  "Living Through Another Cuba"               The Bee Gees
> 2)  "Harvest Festival"                          Patti LaBelle
> 3)  "Miniature Sun"                             Kenny G
> 4)  "Easter Theater"                            Electric Light Orchestra
> 5)  "Dear God"                                  Debbie Boone
> 6)  "Respectable Street"                        Pat Boone
> 7)  "Generals & Majors"                         Harry Connick Jr.
> 8)  "Grass"                                     The Mormon Tabernacle Choir
> 9)  "Funk Pop A Roll"                           Hanson
> 10) "Knights In Shining Karma"                  Bob Seger
> 11) "Love On A Farmboy's Wages"                 Kansas
> 12) "Senses Working Overtime"                   Natalie Imbruglia
> 13) "Wake Up"                                   Night Ranger
> 14) "Pink Thing"                                George Michael
> Michael Versaci

 Damn, you beat me to it.....I was wondering when someone was going to
put one of these lists the man said, he who hesitates is lost.
 The whole beauty of this type of remake list (um, God, I hope you are
joking, before I go off on this. If not, forgive me Chalkhills, for I am
about to sin...) is instead of thinking who you'd really want to be on
it, take the opposite approach and see who the worst possible people
would be, and how magnificently terrible they could make Xtc songs. It
would almost be like an alien encounter, the faraway, wondrous little
world of Xtc, a jewel in the cosmos, suddenly invaded by horrible
musicians. A sort of strange fascination, like rubber necking at an
accident occurs in this type of meeting. I also envisage this as
actually a tv special, which was so popular it then spawned the cd,
which you see below. A can't miss ratings juggernaut, as the tv execs
would say.

 For instance:
There is no language in our lungs-----Michael Bolton (subtitled: But, I
                                      won't let that stop me
				      from singing it anyhow)
Travels in Nihilon---Celine Dion, in neck straining glory
Rook-----Styx, circa Mr. Roboto
River of Orchids----Bijou Phillips
Leisure-----Garth Brooks
Wonderland-----N'Sync's in the house!!! let me hear you say "go N'sync!"
Mayor of Simpleton----lets keep it real, with Eminem...
Hold me my Daddy---Phil Collins, who also drums on every track
Obscene Procession-----Ted Nugent
Dear God----Hootie and the Blowfish
Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead----Ricky Martin, joined onstage for
			       a surprise reunion of Menudo....there isn't
			       a dry eye in the house.
This World Over----Michael Jackson
and for the finale, all the above artists come out, for a "We are the
World" type ending, which is of course, Books are Burning.

Solid Gold!!!!!

Perry (time to go back for my medicine, now)


End of Chalkhills Digest #5-214

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