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Subject: Chalkhills Digest #9-26

          Chalkhills Digest, Volume 9, Number 26

                   Friday, 23 May 2003


    Oranges & Lemons - Remastered CD in Mini-LP sleeve
               Re: Embarrassing records...
             You can keep the Costa Brava...
        ...because the eyes look like boobies, duh
                    clearing the room
                    Embarrassing? Not.
                  Shameful (not!) albums
                    To Todd Bernhardt
         Minneapolis, Beer, XTC & the Residents?
                  Even Harrison Sherwood
                      reunited Dukes
              embarrassing records...cont'd
              What should I see in Britain?


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When we get to England / Will we know when we've arrived?


Date: Tue, 20 May 2003 11:48:36 -0400
From: Andisheh Nouraee <>
Subject: Oranges & Lemons - Remastered CD in Mini-LP sleeve
Message-ID: <>

Hey all,

XTC junky that I am, I've been slowly amassing the Japanese mini-LP
reissues. I recently picked up Oranges & Lemons and noticed some odd
things during King For A Day -- there's a percussive instrument going
"tat-ta-tat" on the remastered version that is so much more prominent
compared to the old CD that it sounds more like a different mix.
Fueling that suspicion, some of the backing vocals seem to be missing
as well.

One of the oft-touted joys of quality remasters if that you can hear
details that you previously missed. In this case though, I'm wondering
if they made a mistake and remastered off the wrong mix.

Any thoughts or comments?

Andisheh Nouraee


Date: Tue, 20 May 2003 11:48:57 -0400 (EDT)
From: John Relph <>
Subject: Re: Embarrassing records...
Message-ID: <>

On 17 May 2003 "Sughosh Varadarajan" <> wrote:
>(Now in eager anticipation of Billy Bragg's Talking with the taxman about
>poetry CD...oh dear Lord,please make it soon...!)

What do you mean?  I've had this CD for years...

But I forgot one record that makes some people cringe at its very
mention: John Denver's "Take Me To Tomorrow".  I love that record...

	-- John

NP: Popdefect: Popdefect


Date: Tue, 20 May 2003 17:12:11 +0100 (BST)
From: Dom Lawson <>
Subject: You can keep the Costa Brava...
Message-ID: <>


My my...we are a disgraceful bunch of geekly
nerdingtons, aren't we? And, naturally enough, I
include myself in this regrettable
sub-species...Christ, if you could browse through my
record collection (and you can't, incidentally) many
of you would recoil in horror. Which, I guess, is all
part of the fun. Anyway, in response to Mr.
Burnt-Arse's pretty impressive atrocity exhibition, I
proffer my own list of
albums-wot-I' fact, I
should really keep quiet. Ho hum.

Poison - Look What The Cat Dragged In...yes, they do
all look like (very ugly) ladies on the cover. And no,
I didn't fancy any of them. Honestly. Cough. F**king
dreadful sack of rancid aural poop, mind...

Haircut 100 - Pelican West...not just the album, but
the first four singles too...on bleedin' twelve-inch
vinyl. Christ, if only I'd got out more, I might have
ended up without this ridiculous haircut...ah
well...but seriously, the chunky sweaters! The
annoying conga player! The twat with the piccolo sax!
A song called 'Lemon Fire
course, I genuinely think it's a good album...sob...)

Magnum - On A Storyteller's Night...I sincerely adore
this album. What is wrong with me??? I've got a 3 CD
box set of Magnum stuff, too. I like ELO. I like ELP.
I like Jethro cocking Tull. I'm a fool.

Marillion - VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING! EVER! Oh yes...not
just the first four Fish-fronted albums that most
people secretly (or openly, in my case) like...but
nearly all the albums since, with that Steve Hogarth
fella...even I know that some of it sounds like 80s
Somebody shoot me. Please.

Adam Ant - Manners & I take exception
to the git who cited 'Friend Or Foe' as an
embarrassing album. It's ace, for Marco's sake! What
about 'Here Comes The Grump'? 'Made Of Money'? 'Place
In The COuntry'? Awesome the time he made
this album, however, Stuart Goddard's future mentalism
was beginning to creep into view. OK, so he wasn't
wandering into pubs in London dressed as a cowboy
before threatening anyone who took the piss with a
starting pistol (which, fact fans, he claimed was an
antique gun used by his father in the Korean,
right!)...but he was writing songs like 'Rough Stuff'.
I'm no stranger to the pleasures of pinkdom...purely
for research, you understand...but that song is gayer
than a Bronski Beat convention.

Lawnmower Deth - 3 ALBUMS! Now this might not mean
much to a lot of you, but back in the early days of
the British death metal scene (bear with me!) there
were quite a few bands peddling what I can only
describe as 'comedycore'...i.e. short, fast,
Dickies-meets-Slayer kinda stuff with juvenile lyrics
and songs called things like 'Satan's Trampoline'. Ho
ho? No no! Lawnmower Deth were funny for all of, what,
ten seconds? Bastards...I'm keeping 'em, though.
Wouldn't want to deplete my (nearly complete) Earache
Records collection...geek on, brothers!

Finally (and this list is only the tip of a frankly
horrific iceberg so just imagine the shit I left out)
I'd like to recommend 'Double Bubble' by enduring
cock-a-knee beard-sporters CHAS N' DAVE. I don't
suppose America ever succumbed to the charms of these
aesthetically-ravaged knees-up merchants, but if you
want an argument with your better half - one of those
that ends with him/her using the phrase 'I'm going to
stab you with this garden fork in ten seconds, you
complete arse!' - then try playing this two hour feast
of pony & trap (and Tom Tit) really loud when PEOPLE
get the idea. Rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit bunny bunny
bunny bunny....

Right, I'm off to listen to Twisted Sister at top
volume until my heavily pregnant missus smashes my
head open with the kettle.




Date: Tue, 20 May 2003 12:54:31 -0400
From: "Duncan Watt" <>
Subject: ...because the eyes look like boobies, duh
Message-ID: <>

I'm typin' this whilst wearing my hot new Ape House t-shirt (which I assume
was designed by AP, correct me if'n I'm full of cobblers) which you can find

... and it makes me even *better lookin'* than what I already am!

Your Pal Duncan


Date: Tue, 20 May 2003 13:06:48 -0500
From: "Kevin Brunkhorst" <>
Subject: clearing the room
Message-ID: <004c01c31efa$952fc920$4d397044@brunkhorst>

Gary Nicholson writes:
In the Black Boy pub in Winchester, the landlord uses Rolf Harris's version
of 'Stairway to Heaven' to drive people out at closing time. Unfortunately
for him, most people like it. I don't necessarily want to be driven out of
the pub but would be happy to receive suggestions of what would make you
want to sup up and retire to your   honourable couch. Trout Mask Replica
sounds as if it might do the trick.

Philosophy Of The World by The Shaggs is very effective when used against
'normal' people.  Trust me.



Date: Tue, 20 May 2003 15:27:19 -0400
From: "Ira Lieman" <>
Subject: Embarrassing? Not.
Message-ID: <>


Back from lurking ... it's been a while.

Embarrassing records? For me? I don't think I have anything I wouldn't want
people to see ... it's all a product of the time I had money to spend on
such stuff. :) Two years without a full-time paying gig does that to people.
I almost started selling some of them over on E-bay...However, the XTC stuff
takes center stage. And the paying gig is writing the offer letter as we
speak. Keep your fingers crossed.

Paulo X opined...
>Well, I have a handful of embarassing records in my collection:

Uh oh ... BEN! Get involved in this discussion! Paulo wants to incur your



Date: Wed, 21 May 2003 07:37:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: Laura Carter <>
Subject: Shameful (not!) albums
Message-ID: <>

I'm sorry but I have you ALL beat in this particular
subject.  You were, I believe, talking about albums
you'd be ashamed for your friends at an XTC party to

Well, I personally am NOT ashamed of either of these
but I just KNOW they'll bring some healthy groans from
someone on the list.

I have Don Johnson's "Heartbeat" AND Philip Michael
Thomas "Living The Book Of My Life"!  (Now, for those
who don't know, these were the "Miami Vice" guys in
the '80s ... and this gal lived and breathed "Miami
Vice" every Friday night.)

I even have the PMT album on CASSETTE!

It'll be worth millions on eBay one day and you'll all
be green with envy, I'm tellin' ya!  When it sells for
big bucks, I'll contribute 1/4 to the statue of XTC
that I'm sure Swindon will erect once they're all
dead.  *G*

Laura Carter
Reidsville NC USA


Date: Wed, 21 May 2003 07:46:29 -0700 (PDT)
From: Laura Carter <>
Subject: To Todd Bernhardt
Message-ID: <>

Have a great time at the Outer Banks!  I'm from there
originally and MISS HOME!

Thinking of driving down the beach road (otherwise
known as 158) gazing at the ocean while listening to
"Seagulls Screaming" ... you lucky stiff!

Laura Carter
Reidsville NC


Date: Wed, 21 May 2003 10:51:30 EDT
Subject: Minneapolis, Beer, XTC & the Residents?
Message-ID: <>

Lost my email about getting together in Minneapolis for some Beer's &
XTC/Chalkhill talk.  Anyone else in the area interested? Of other interest I
found a Dukes article where Andy talks about meeting & working with the
Residents.  I will transcribe it ASAP for all of you Chalkies to read.  The
Residents are in the process of creating/completing their "One Minute Movies"
video's for the entire Commercial album which is what Andy sang his song
on!?!?!?!  They are taking idea's/direction from fans for each song.  I
recommended an idea which would involve getting Andy to make a cameo
appearance.  Here are the lyrics Andy wrote/performed on their album

Margaret Freeman

Margaret Freeman had a body
Unlike any I'd seen
It seemed to drip her mental thoughts
Like much too warm ice cream
One day while she washed the dishes
In the nude I saw
How her mother's sodden ways
Had rubbed her rib cage raw

Peace, Love & Todd Is godd!


P.S. Todd is playing St. Paul, MN @ the Fitzgerald Theatre on July, 22nd!


Date: Wed, 21 May 2003 17:52:33 EDT
Subject: Even Harrison Sherwood
Message-ID: <>

Just spell it right on the checks, kidz.

I'm just thrilled as heck that I've earned a rep as an "even" person in
these Hallowed Halls, and hereby pledge to try to behave just barely civilly
enough to get invited to your parties so I can sneer derisively at your CD
collections. A t-shirt I covet declares most righteously, "Your Favorite
Band Sucks," and I say that goes double for me.

On a related topic, I imagine that most of you do not have the delightful
privilege of working in a network environment dominated by the Apple
Macintosh, as I do, and so you will not have yet noticed a particularly fun
aspect of the new iTunes client. (A Windoze version is due out by year's
end, so you Dark Siders can anticipate the fun.)

Yes, they've done a grand job of making a dandy-smooth e-commerce experience
(although I don't see it making much headway in the matter of getting
payments directly to artists -- it's still the same-old rapacious Uncle
Moneybags record companies making profit off the surplus value of the
exploited artist). And the thing *works* sleekly, although one could wish
that the content were richer (which in time no doubt it will be -- this is a
problem common to all pay Net services).

No, the thing that's really amusing about the new iTunes client is the way
it works on a network. It's set up so that the instant you install it, you
are automatically -- and without being informed -- sharing your music
collection with everyone else on the network. You can of course switch this
off, and you can choose to show or hide all or parts of your collection, but
the default is "Leave My Embarrassing Music Choices Exposed To Every Tom,
Dick and Harry on the Company Network Without Telling Me So They Can Snicker
At My Lame Taste Behind My Back."

So now, to add to the problem of everybody -- "even Harrison Sherwood"! --
ridiculing the Air Supply CDs stashed under the bed before your party, now
you've got to hide all those awful MP3's that people send you three years
ago ("Hey, check out my brother-in-law's church band doing a bitchen 'Like a
Hurricane,' d00d!") that you stashed in your Music folder and forgot about.

Honestly, it's a hoot: "Joe Blow? Joe *Blow*'s got Enya's entire flippin'
'Paint the Sky with Stars' best-of comp? OhMyGod! Check it out! Sting's
'Brand New Day'!" Can you *believe* this dillhole?"

Way over on the other hand, of course, I just found Digable Planets in the
collection of a mousey little code-wench -- very cool -- and Jesus! Dan
McNabb's got pretty much everything the Small Faces ever recorded, gonna
have to pop into his pod and compliment him on that, I thought that was a
Noel Gallagher haircut, turns out it's a Steve Marriott...!

Funny thing, that music....

Harrison "Yes, even Harrison Sherwood" Sherwood


Date: Thu, 22 May 2003 12:55:58 -0500
From: William D Sherlock <>
Subject: reunited Dukes
Message-ID: <>

Hi all,

I first read about the new Dukes track on the xtcenglandsglory Yahoo list
and have been anxiously awaiting details, or even a little discussion
here on Chalkhills. Wouldn't it be nice to have some actual XTC content
for a change. Anyone know what gives with this momentous event?

Bill (no lover of Irn Bru) Sherlock

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.              Ben Franklin


Date: Fri, 23 May 2003 06:44:14 -0400
From: bryce blair <>
Subject: embarrassing records...cont'd
Message-ID: <001401c32118$64969df0$c5853144@yourw92p4bhlzg>

Hello there...first time poster long time XTC fan from DC the
two quick embarrassing albums from the past come to mind....
Pablo Cruise...remember them? and..
Stephen Bishop....hard to listen to now...
Theres more than that I'm sure....


Date: Fri, 23 May 2003 10:41:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: Tyler Hewitt <>
Subject: What should I see in Britain?
Message-ID: <>

Hi everyone
Sorry about the totally XTC-free post, but oh well.
My partner and I are going to Britain in June, and I'm
looking for sugestions on what to see. I've been
before, but it was over 20 years ago. My partner has
never been. We're going to concentrate on London, I
have a friend that lives in the suburbs.  We're also
planning some day trips or a couple of nights
elsewhere. We're thinking of going to York, and maybe
Edinburgh, although that could change.

So, any suggestions? We're looking for the 'don't miss
this' places, but also some more funky, off the beaten
path type of places. Doesn't have to be XTC related,
but don't rule that out. We'll probably not be going
out to Swindon, it's impossible to see EVERYTHING in
one trip, and my partner really isn't interested in
XTC (the fool!).

Feel free to respond to this off list, and thanks for
your help!



End of Chalkhills Digest #9-26

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