Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #8-71

          Chalkhills Digest, Volume 8, Number 71

                Tuesday, 31 December 2002


                 Thanks for Christmas???
               A hostile bunch...Aren't we?
                 Spare CD-Rs for trade...
                Beeswax versus Rag & Bone
                        Milky Bar
                      Tissue Tigers
                      A holiday wish
                     Mind your tongue
                      Steady Teddy!
    RE: the soft purring of cute little fluffy kittens
                 Yo Adrian, Calm Down Man
               Has Adrian scored an award?
           Force9 from City College Manchester
              ...And FUZZIES Under the Tree!


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    The views expressed herein are those of the individual authors.

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And it's okay, for the setting sun / Will colour everything around you gold.


Date: Wed, 25 Dec 2002 01:20:13 +0530
From: "Sughosh Varadarajan" <>
Subject: Thanks for Christmas???
Message-ID: <000001c2ab85$ff41d620$b42f41db@SughoshVaradarajan>

I say, is this really the festive season, or what??? I've just seen a big
fight erupt on the Jackson Browne mailing list over some profanity by the
man in a quote from way back in '74, and now here more and more people are
jumping into the Harrison-Bert war....for Heaven's sake, can't we all be a
little "light" for a while...after all, it IS a bumper sticker someplace,

Peace, and Merry Christmas all (it's 1:30 AM Christmas morning as I write


Date: Tue, 24 Dec 2002 16:09:34 -0500
Subject: A hostile bunch...Aren't we?
Message-ID: <D4C58F76F33BD41199840090274E9FED021EC01B@BTAM0S04>

Greetings Chalkhillers!

I have taken what I believe to be about a three year absence from the
chalkhills list, and I must say, that it was a lot friendlier place back
then.  I'm surprised to read so many negative comments regarding any
material at all from Andy, much less all the personal attacks.  I'm reminded
of an Ayn Rand group that I lurk around occasionally...boy, do those people
have a lot of frustration built up.

For the record, I haven't received my copy of Fuzzy Warbles one or two, but
my brother will be receiving it soon.  I'm of the belief that anything XTC
is good.  I just accept paying 30 or so dollars for an import.  What's the
big deal?  I'm not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but I spend a
large portion of my income on music, and owning certain records is more
important than others, so I don't mind paying extra for it.  If it's got
some instrumental tracks that I think are shit, oh well.  I'm a half-ass
collector, that is happy to own anything Andy puts together for his fans.  I
don't doubt that Andy will release new material in the future, and maybe
using this current system for sales will be altered in the future...we can
only hope.

The last time I hung around these parts, I had a great time.  I sure hope
things lighten up a bit around here.



Date: Wed, 25 Dec 2002 10:39:19 +0100
Subject: Spare CD-Rs for trade...
Message-ID: <>

Please, CD-R trades only - no 2:1s or cash offers.



Date: Wed, 25 Dec 2002 10:38:06 +0100
Subject: Beeswax versus Rag & Bone
Message-ID: <>

Sughosh asked:

"Speaking of B-sides, a query...was Beeswax ever put out on CD?"

"Or does Rag'n'bone cover everything from Beeswax?"
I can't tell for sure, but I think if you have the CD reissues and R&B
you have everything that is on Beeswax. I had a CD copy a few years
ago, but (along with some other rare XTC stuff) sold it on eBay for
mucho moolah because I was fed up with umpteen CDs just containing
different permutations of songs. If Beeswax would have contained a
track exclusive to that release it's likely that I would have kept it.

Martin "yeah, that fucking Adrian Ransome was fucking right, you
fucking know!" van Rappard


Date: Thu, 26 Dec 2002 00:49:54 +0000
From: "*Hobbes *" <>
Subject: Milky Bar
Message-ID: <>

John Relph was saying:

>I have never heard of a "milk bar" except in "A Clockwork Orange".
>(Unless one is speaking of milk chocolate, I suppose.)

The phrase was quite common when I was a child in the 70's growing up in
Australia.  It basically was just a name for your local corner store / fish
and chip shop.  It seems to have fallen out of use recently though, no doubt
since the majority of corner stores have too.

The phrase easily predates "A Clockwork Orange", as the Ginger Meggs pre-war
newspaper comics used the phrase.  I imagine it's English in origin - I'm
sure Professor Sherwood will fill us in if we all ask nicely.

For me it's a particularly 70's term though... It conjures up images of
Chicko Rolls, Mullets, Thongs, Panel Vans, Stubbies Shorts, Donna Summer
singing "Hot Stuff" on the 40 & 20 meat pie ads, Abba, Skyhooks and Kiss on
the Radio, Space Invaders, Puberty Blues, Storm Boy and girls without bras
in bright yellow Moove Chocolate Milk t-shirts.

Now that all the non-aussies on this list are *completely* mystified, i'll
return you to your regularly scheduled reading.


Date: Wed, 25 Dec 2002 20:04:34 EST
Subject: Tissue Tigers
Message-ID: <>

In a message dated 12/24/02 10:40:37 AM Pacific Standard Time, Warren writes:

> A local club that I play frequently has a periodic series of "alter-ego"
> shows. My band has been discussing possibilities, and one of course is XTC.

Well, Warren if you play Sac let me know (by the way my brother's band plays
in that area quite a bit).

O.K.  the four songs (if Xtc is going to be your "alternative" identity for
the night)
1) Making Plans for Nigel 2) Senses Working Overtime 3) Ballad of Peter
Pumpkinhead 4)Mayor of Simpleton.

All four should work for your instruments.

>especially as we had been led to believe that the
>discs would only
>be available via Idea.

I don't recall that they were going to be Internet only albums. I do recall
thinking that Andy would probably sign them if they came from idea.

>>Speaking of B-sides, a query...was Beeswax ever put out on CD? Or does
Rag'n'bone cover everything from Beeswax? Plus, I notice this disc is a 1990
release, so it missed out on the Nonsuch sessions...would there be anything
available by way of outtakes/b-sides from the Nonsuch days? Or are those
gonna make it onto Fuzzy Warbles?<<

I don't recall any mention of a release to close out the Virgin b-sides. I
would probably welcome it though as I'm sure they would be remastered with
great quality. Maybe they could just reissue Rag & Bone with a second disc!

Very sad to hear about Joe Strummer's death. Ironic given that he had
recently played with Mick Jones in public for the first time since the split
of The Clash (and the fact that they were going to regroup to play live at
the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Shame).

A recent post commented on the label design for APE records and its
resemblance to a naked torso. I guess because I have kids it reminded me of a
caricature of Mojo Jo Jo from The Powerpuff Girls. I suppose I should get my
mind out of the toy store and back into the gutter where it belongs.

Finally, Bert and Harrison please kiss and make up. I've been skipping most
of the ranting and raving lately but it seems to me both of you have made a
mountain out of a molehill. Then again, it's kept the last couple of posts
very colorful. Maybe you should break out the boxing gloves again....

Top 12 for 2002 (in no particular order)
Kimberly Rew - Grand Central Revisited
The Pretenders - Loose Screw
David Gray - New Day At Midnight
Neil Finn- One All
Andy Partridge - Fuzzy Warbles Volume 1
Warren Zevon - My Ride's Here
Aimee Mann - Lost in The Stars
The Soft Boys - Nextdoorland
Steve Earle - Jerusalem
George Harrison - Brainwashed
Coldplay -(Can't remember the title and not going to look it up)
Jellyfish - Fan Club Box Set
Peter Gabriel - Up (even if it is a tad inconsistent)

and finally my fav reissues -(aside from Jellyfish which had enough new
material to warrant it as new in my book) Gentle Giant - Octopus & King
Crimson - USA


Date: Wed, 25 Dec 2002 20:26:20 -0800 (PST)
From: Cheryl <>
Subject: A holiday wish
Message-ID: <>

Hello Everyone!

It's been ages since I have last posted to this forum.  I hope all my
my friends are doing well.  I just wanted to wish Happiness to
everyone during this holiday season.  On ocassion when time permits, I
come and read digest just to keep up.  Funny the paths life takes you
on.  I never would have guess that I would be so busy I couldn't keep
up with chalkhills but that is where life has taken me right now.  I'm
not complaining.  Life is very good for me right now. :)

I wish the happiness for everyone that I am feeling right now.

Take care all and big hugs to you all,



Date: Thu, 26 Dec 2002 17:13:42 -0800 (PST)
From: Andrew Boyle <>
Subject: Mind your tongue
Message-ID: <>

Last time around, Teddy Swift (if that IS your real
name) wrote:

> I certainly don't get why you are a legend and Bert
> is a pariah, except that pretty well everyone on
> Chalkhills bar Bert seems to have their tongues up
> your ass.

Sir! I find this quite offensive! I, for one, keep my
tongue round about his ear!

Vile beast!

And Happy Holidays to you!

Andrew Boyle!
Fort Sherwood, FL!



Date: Fri, 27 Dec 2002 01:33:58 -0000
From: "David Smith" <>
Subject: Steady Teddy!
Message-ID: <000801c2ad48$06daac40$a9d2c050@oemcomputer>

Now that's nice - a sweet Christmas message from Teddy Swift.

Teddy mate, I don't know about anyone else here - but I'm not
over-enamoured with someone I've never spoken to before calling me a
sheep or an acolyte, let alone that same stranger implying I've got my
tongue up anybody's arse!

In my opinion (usual disclaimers apply - it's only my opinion etc etc)
most of those who have a problem with Bert, do so NOT because at some
point he's decided he's better/cleverer/more knowledgable than the rest
of us - because he may well be - but because he struts around like a
14-year old who's just discovered sarcasm and how much fun it is to call
people names, and he thinks that if he sprinkles this liberally in every
post, it will PROVE he's better/cleverer/more knowledgable than us.

It's understandable - I thought like that when I was a child, most of
the male of the species does. The difference is, most of us grow out of
it. Except, it seems, you and Bert.

Still, kudos to you for seeing through our elaborate plot. Just think,
John Relph has been hosting the forum for, what, 6 years? It's had,
probably, hundreds of contributors? Talking about, probably, thousands
of subjects?

But YOU'VE seen the truth! All that time, we were ONLY waiting for the
day Bert would come along and start being a tit, just so we could all
run and worship at the altar of Harrison, who would lead us through to
the promised land of acolytic sleeve-notes. Our collective lives were
meaningless until then - thank you so much Teddy for showing us the way!

Mate, you should be a Hollywood scriptwriter - they'd never have dreamt
that up. As self-centered paranoia goes it's better than The Truman Show
and The Matrix combined.

Anyway, I don't want to get into a slanging match myself (or is it too
late?) so here's my Christmas message in return. Teddy - most people on
this forum are here to talk about XTC - and don't care a stuff about
these little pissing contests until someone (in this case Bert - and now
you) decides to start shovelling shit in all directions, until the
people in no-mans-land get as covered as the protagonists.

I'll be honest with you I reckon everyone else (like me) is bored
witless by this crap. It wouldn't surprise me if people are dropping off
the board because of it. I haven't seen an interesting argument or valid
point made by anyone (on EITHER side) for a while now, probably because
it's become so personal - or perhaps because I've just about stopped

Perhaps - and this is a genuinely *respectful* request to ALL parties
concerned (and I mean EVERYONE - Bert, Harrison, Todd, Teddy, hell, ME!)
- this whole thing should now be taken off-line. If not in respect for
each other, then at least in respect for John Relph, who must be getting
pretty tired and downhearted at what's happening to this forum. John,
although only slightly, I HAVE been involved, please accept my apologies
here and now.

Now, this has ruined a chunk of 2002 for a lot of people - PLEASE, let's
not carry it into 2003. Surely we're all above this?

Here's hoping everyone - and I mean EVERYONE - has a peaceful and
harmonious new year.

Cheers, egg-nogs all round!


NP: Pipes of Peace by Paul MacCartney (not really . . . credit me with
SOME taste!)


Date: Fri, 27 Dec 2002 08:03:48 -0500
From: C Bisson <>
Subject: RE: the soft purring of cute little fluffy kittens
Message-ID: <>

    WooHoo!  Someone else for you all to flame besides Bert or myself!


Date: Thu, 26 Dec 2002 20:42:25 -0500
From: "Molly, the New Wave Queen" <>
Subject: Yo Adrian, Calm Down Man
Message-ID: <000401c2ad49$394905e0$b601590c@vogmudet>
Organization: AT&T Worldnet

You know Adrian, calm down.  Andy's doing what the fans want, and they want
demos.  Not all of us have EVERY single copied traded (or bootlegged) demo,
and it's nice to hear how the songs started.  If you don't like what he's
doing, don't by it.  But don't come here and bitch (excuse me) about Andy
screwing you by releasing demo CDs.  Take a freaking chill pill.
Also, in this past digest I learned where the group "Heaven 17" got their
name.  I've seen "A Clockwork Orange" many times, but I never noticed that
name being mentioned.  :)


> From: Adrian Ransome <>
> Just who the fuck does Andy Partridge think he is?
> ...
> Fuzzy Warbles?? Fucking Wanker more like!!
> Fucking A!-drian


Date: Mon, 30 Dec 2002 13:00:13 +1100
From: "Andrew Gowans" <>
Subject: Has Adrian scored an award?
Message-ID: <>

Greetings Peoples,

Did you read Adrian Ransome's musings on the merits of the Fuzzy

Congratulations Adrian! A masterful effort at the protracted use of
'Fuck' in a single posting to Chalkhills.

Bravo! Bravo! 3 Cheers!

I counted no less than 49 Fucks in your posting, including words
derived from Fuck including; Fucking and Fuckers.

However I cannot let this effort stifle the use of this highly
effective and flexible word for the rest of this year. No, I shall
in fact sing the praises of Fuck in a manner that all can join in.

To the tune of Monty Pythons "Philosopher's Song"


Fuck fuck fucker fuck fuck fucker,

fuck fuck fuck fuck fucker.

Fuck fuck fucker fuck fuck fucker,

fuck fuck fuck fuck fucker.

Fuck fuck fucker fuck fuck fucker,

fuck fuck fuck fuck fucker.

Fuck fuck fucker fuck fuck fucker,

fuck fuck fuck fuck fucker.

Fuck fucker fucker fucker fucker fucker fucker fuck.

Fucker fucker fucker fucker fucker fucker fuuuuck. (at my count 60

You get the idea, repeat as neccessary for as many verses you can
remember. A highly useful replacement for 'dah dah de dah' and 'tra
la la la la' in any songs where you cannot recall the correct words.
In fact, "If you sing it loud enough you'll almost sound precocious.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fucker fuck fuck fuck fuck fucker".

Useful, isn't it.

Initially I was going to use "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" as the
tune for my song of praise to Fuck, but it only came in at 42 Fucks,
rather than Adrian's breathtaking 49. Also Christmas is already
over, so it wouldn't be topical.

XTC content;

Adrian, if when you are near them you have difficulty with the
Warbles which lack language in their lungs you can try the simple
Fuck trick to crate your own 'NEW' AP songs. You could forward your
fucking lyrics to Andy at the Idea Records website, where he could
consider them at his leisure. Overall I hope the rest of you don't
find my small posting too blue?

Fucking off now,

Andrew Gowans


Date: Mon, 30 Dec 2002 11:30:22 EST
Subject: Force9 from City College Manchester
Message-ID: <>

>Date: Thu, 19 Dec 2002 09:41:57 +0000
>From: "Ted Swift" <>
>Subject: Re: Just for the sake of argument

Pathetic. Just pathetic.

Troll. Troll troll troll. Troll again.


"Bert Millichip," "Ted Swift" and "Fred Titmus" are all created by the same
person. I won't go into how I know this, but if you'd like proof, write me
offline and I'll tell you.

(Read "Ted's" post again with that fact in hand, and it's really quite a
giggle, especially the part where he grits, "I realise that Bert can answer
for himself, and maybe he will eventually condescend to do so.")

This person has no interest in actually contributing to any conversation
here. He does not actually believe any of the wacko things he puts into "Bert
Millichip's" mouth. He laughs up his sleeve at our outrage and plots ways to
increase it. He hides behind freemail accounts, thinking he can't be traced.
His sole interest is in disrupting conversations and sowing (thanks for the
corrected spelling, "Ted") dissension -- exactly as I characterized him
earlier, a cardboard Mephistopheles.


Now that we know his voice and we know his M.O. of posting stupid arguments
from behind _ad hoc_ freemail accounts, we can completely happily ignore him.
If somebody pops up in Chalkhills and says something that appears to be
calculated to irritate you, just check that address. Penny to a pound of
pigshit it'll come from Yahoo, Hotmail, or some other web-based freemail
service. It will certainly *not* come from an e-mail address that can be
traced to an actual person. That would imply personal responsibility, which
the author of "Bert/Fred/Ted" shuns, for obvious reasons.

Let me repeat that earlier point: the best way to rid ourselves of a troll is

I apologize to the Chalkhills community for not having understood the nature
of the troll, and for being unable to resist getting into a nasty argument
with someone who was being deliberately obtuse to get his secret jollies.

I also apologize to those of you who post from web-based freemail accounts. I
have no doubt that your reasons are excellent, and I don't mean to cast
aspersions on your e-mail preferences. But I think you most of all will
understand how easy they are to acquire, and to abuse.

Go ahead, "Bert/Fred/Ted." Howl all you want. No one's listening any more.

Harrison "Juan *not* the Man" Sherwood


Date: Mon, 30 Dec 2002 15:02:58 -0500
Subject: ...And FUZZIES Under the Tree!
Message-ID: <>

Hello, CHALKsters:

Oooh, where do I begin?  I ordered my FUZZY WARBLES (with help from a
friend who could log onto the Idea website), and was truly amazed when they
arrived the day after Christmas.  Since I'd taken the remainder of the week
off from work, I spent a good deal of time with the WARBLES and found I
liked 'em quite a lot!  I even had to laugh, being a kind of classic
cartoon fancier, to hear Andy channel the ghost of Jinx the cat, one of the
first Hanna-Barbera creations as he giddily tried to work out that tricky
vocal part to "That Wave".  But the highlights to me were those unheard
songs, sounding nearly finished to me, although sometimes you really wanted
Colin's vocal in the mix as his is the more Brian wilson-esque voice
between the two.

It is interesting that the Andy Partridge quote, as posted on this list,
mentions the mourning of the seeming loss of the type of twisted music
played by the Mothers of Invention, because, as I listened to the final
track on the first disk (I think it is called "Rocket"), I could only
imagine the song fading with one of those signature buzz saw/cat scratch
guitar solos that Zappa did so well on some of his better early '70's work,
or maybe a grungier solo from, say, former Zappa cohorts Sugar Cane Harris
or Jean-Luc Ponty?  That last song is astounding as it shows just what can
be created with mere variations on one note, pure and easy, playing so free
like a breath rippling by!

Whew, okay, pardon me, folks; I'm back from that quiet vibrationland.
Getting back to what I was saying, the other Zappa-esque quality about the
FUZZY WARBLES disks that I really like is the way Partridge fused some of
the material as if it could easily be one stream of consciousness thought,
mixing up the periods in the way Zappa himself did with those "mystery
disks" from the Barking Pumpkin vinyl collections of original Zappa masters
(whose contents can now be found on a single disk from Ryko).  These
mystery disks did what most Mothers albums have done for years--mixing
strange bits of improvised dialogue with selections from live or in-studio
recordings, varying in quality.  Forgetting XTC as an entity for the
moment, we can easily hear that Andy Partridge has his ear cocked to all
kinds of inventive material and sound collages...and that is why the
instrumental material works.

I would go so far as to say that there isn't a wasted moment on these
collections, thus far.  In fact, hearing some of these messy and raw-boned
alternate takes makes me realize that there are nuances that should have
carried over to the originals more.  I, for one, hope that Andy dives
deeply into Zappa albums like BURNT WEENY SANDWICH or UNCLE MEAT or even
never comes up from that wave, because the kinds of mixtures going on here
go even further than Zappa ever dared to.  Now, I'm anxious to know,
moreso, just how the remainder of the RAG AND BONE BUFFET material will be
fused in with the larger mix.  At first, I so wanted to hear all those
songs end up on the albums whose sessions they were originally lifted from
as kind of second disks attached to each album, in much the same way that
Rhino is reissuing Elvis Costello's back catalogue, but now I'm seeing
these FUZZY WARBLES collections as their own fully realized albums--kind of
projects that were spoken of in the article about XTC and the FUZZY WARBLES
project will bring that kind of conceptual continuity to the present day.
It is usually my feeling that, when a group or duo split up and still
continue solo on their own paths, they come back to the original group so
rejuvinated that the songs written transcend the original group and become
something that would have never occurred if that group remained a reluctant
entity through those missing years.  I can only imagine what an album
mixing the styles of XTC and Apples in Stereo would be like!  And this is
something that we will find out, sometime in 2003, I hope.  There are
countless musical forms that could be toyed with by both bands, and both
seem to have that guilty pleasure of deeply indulging in all that acid and
flowers pop of that earlier age, while clouding its naivete with tongue
firmly in cheek and fingers ready to jab as if to say "Nudge, nudge, wink
wink, get it?" or "wake up!  Wake up!  Wake up!  Wake up!!!"

Even if ya don't "get it", it's a wild ride and I can hardly wait for the
remaining eight or ten disks!

Oh, by the way,, be honest with me; you're
really Andy Partridge in disguise, adding your nudge, nudge, wink, wink to
this list, right?  I ask this question because your nasty little slap at
the WARBLES reminds me of that National Lampoon bit that has John Lennon
ranting, in song, about his fans and his former Beatle-mates, ending up
with screaming through the studio "aaaaauugh, I'm a fuckin'
gen-eeeus!...aaauugh, muthaaaah..."  The entire entry sounds like Andy
poking at all the disgruntled fans who felt they were short-changed by the
price or variety of sound on these disks and, if what I'm saying is true,
nice job!  I thought it was hilarious!

If that was *NOT* Andy, I hope that, whoever you are, you do get the disks,
from wherever suits you, and sit back and listen more than once to each
disk.  These are good!  I wish my writing were better, but what else could
I say.  This all sounds like a "puff piece", but I really do like the
disks.  Maybe my review here would not make ROLLING STONE, but after all
these years, I'm still not bored with pop...or those experimental noises


Born out of my mouth to the page.


End of Chalkhills Digest #8-71

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