Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #6-39

          Chalkhills Digest, Volume 6, Number 39

                  Friday, 10 March 2000

Today's Topics:

                  wee-wees and toenails
                     Portable Orgone
   You make me wanna laugh, he makes me wanna cry, why?
            Tut, Tut!...Naysayers Take Notice!
           ...Let's Chew The Fat...some more...
                        Wasp Wha?
            Dancin Fool On A Wasp Star Record
               Witless for the persecution
                         Oh David
                      Re: Dog Vomit
                 I, Rearrangement Servant
                         Re: Wasp
                 Wasp Star Mystery Solved
Crap from "fox411 by Roger Friedman" at
                     Find Some Lovely
                      PG, KG and DG
      It's Mayan planet and I'll whinge if I want to


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Thank you / For taking me down a peg.


Date: Wed, 8 Mar 2000 15:29:18 -0800 (PST)
From: Tyler Hewitt <>
Subject: wee-wees and toenails
Message-ID: <>

After all, a form of energy that can make William S.
Burroughs' willie come off in his hand (am I
remembering that right?) can't be *entirely* bad, can

hate to break the news to you, but I think Burroughs
reference to "came off"  means that he had a really
strong orgasm. I could be wrong here, but that's whatI
Am I stating the obvious? maybe, but I'm seriouly
lacking sleep at the momemt and am not thinking too

Hey got a lead on some toenail clippings?  I
recently bought some
at a convention for $150 bucks, a steal in my opinion!
Sadly, I had them
tested and the DNA didn't match Andy's..

Reminds me of a story-some guy I worked with once knew
someone who went to Graceland and found a toenail in
the Jungle Room (why they were crawling around the
floor in the jungle room is beyond me). This person
grabbed it, as it would be the Ultimate Elvis
Got me to thinking-if I ever go to Graceland, I'm
going to save up a vial of toenail clippings to
sprinkle around the jungle room...
Tho if I do that, there may be a bunck of Tyler clones
running around someday...


Date: Thu, 9 Mar 2000 07:07:45 +0900
From: "John Boudreau" <>
Subject: Portable Orgone
Message-ID: <000001bf894f$9ddb9b60$7c5791d2@johnboud>

Re : portable orgone accumulator :

>After all, a form of energy
>that can make William S. Burroughs' willie come off in his hand (am I
>remembering that right?) can't be *entirely* bad, can it?

 He ( Burroughs ) made a little portable one from a gasoline can wrapped in
organic material . " The orgones would stream out of the nozzle of the can .
One day I got into the big accumulator and held the little one over my joint
and came right off . "



Date: Wed, 08 Mar 2000 17:58:06 -0600
From: "Todd Bernhardt" <>
Subject: You make me wanna laugh, he makes me wanna cry, why?
Message-ID: <>
Organization: Enterworks, Inc.


Wes said:
>I know what it's like to be dead.

No, wait, that's not it. He said:
> By the way Dunks, thanks a lot for not showing at church Sunday morning....
> I had to handle your snake too.

Oh MAN. I feel for you, buddy. I had to handle Dunks' snake once, and
that was an experience I'll not soon forget. Fucker spit in my face.

--Todd "Out, damned spot! out, I say!" Bernhardt


Date: Wed, 08 Mar 2000 15:03:00 -0800
From: "Dane Pereslete" <>
Subject: Tut, Tut!...Naysayers Take Notice!
Message-ID: <>

>From: "Damian Wise (Foulger)" <>
>Subject: Wasp Star is Astec for Saw Ars PT (anag.)
>Message-ID: <>
>Peter (which Peter?  There is only one Peter!) wrote:
>> Wasp Star is Aztec for Apple Venus (at least I *think* that's what he
>> said)
>It sounds to me that Andy's infamous wry, sarcastic sense of
>humour is getting the better of you Peter!  Ha, ha.

The following is verbatim transcription from the

>Tulum: This building is called Temple of the Frescos.
>It is important because it's architecture has a lot of
>Mixtec influence, indicating a flood of influence in the
>Post-Classic. The building was first a simple, single
>story small temple, now preserved as the interior rooms.
>On its outside were the black, yellow, and white murals
>depicting an old woman, probably not Ix chel (Ix chel was
>a beautiful young woman - no one quite knows who this
>old woman is). In any case, she is holding two images of
>Chac. She is surrounded by plant images, apparently
>mostly of beans. The entire scene is bounded by knotted
>Sky Bands, usually an edging implying power and the
>realm of the gods.  The second addition, made sometime
>after 1450, is the outer, four columned "porch" that
>protects the murals. It has three panels along its top,
>all in poor shape.

*And here's where it really gets interesting*

>The sculpted stucco center panel depicts a Diving God,
>flanked by a seated figure on each outer panel.  The
>Diving God has been linked as a god - Ah Macehcabob - of
>bee keepers and/or as Xux Ek, the "wasp star" or Venus
>diety. The image may have changed names and functions
>over time, but we do not know at present. Certainly honey
>was important, being the only sweetener known to the
>Maya, but the constant warfare in the Post-Classic may
>have equal importance.

Check it out for yourself!  It is quite a beatiful building...

Logging in from beautiful Glendale, CA  USA
"Waiting for AV2"  -or-


Date: Wed, 8 Mar 2000 17:43:57 -0800 (PST)
From: travis schulz <>
Subject: ...Let's Chew The Fat...some more...
Message-ID: <>

Hi Chalkdudes and dudettes!  I noticed some people
mentioning how great Steely Dan are on this list, and
I want to say how right and true this is.  The new
Steely album "Two Against Nature" is better than some
of their 70's classics (maybe not Aja and Pretzel
Logic). It is miles above anything in the pop music
world....(which is how Andy has described the new XTC
album, yes , I know!). Total pop bliss, "Two Against
Nature" will be on several year end-best of lists for
2000, and maybe even for the decade. I urge you all to
try it out! O.K. enough dildo talk (Steely Dan is a
dildo- read "Naked Lunch")...I do have XTC concerns
here too......After seeing Steely Dan on PBS last
Sunday night, I was wondering how open XTC are on the
idea of doing shows like they used to. David
Letterman, and an MTV special from the "Oranges and
Lemons" era are actually the only two for here in the
U.S. I can think of.  Were there any musical
perfomances on tv for AV1? Why would they be against
playing on tv if it provides good promotion?  Travis


Date: Wed, 08 Mar 2000 22:17:10 CST
From: "vee tube" <>
Subject: Wasp Wha?
Message-ID: <>

             Wasp Wha?!?!?!?!?!?!

         How about, 'Bunny Nova'?

   Or, Wasp Dwarf? Or,Dwarf Bunny? Or,

  Ultra-Way-Cool-Mega-Bunny-SUPER-Nova? Or,

        Oh! Oh! Oh! I got it....

            ...To be continued,



Date: Wed, 8 Mar 2000 17:03:50 -0800
From: "Digitalmaster" <>
Subject: Dancin Fool On A Wasp Star Record
Message-ID: <003d01bf8963$54ec4080$0200a8c0@digitalpc>

I don't know why these 2 songs remind me of each other, but "The Biggest
One" By They Might Be Giants has always reminded me of "Dancin Fool" by
Frank (Zappa of course!).  I wanted to see if there are any fans who know of
his kids work.  I heard they have released stuff, is it any good?  The only
song I know by any of his kids was the song Moon did with him in the 80's.
Sorry to ask Zappa questions on an XTC list, but I would think the groups
would have similar fans.

Also, I don't like "Wasp Star" much but I did not like the idea of another
similar titled album anyway.

Oh, I have an XTC 12" single in excellent condition.  It's a promo for Dear
God and has Toys on the B-side.  I want to trade it if anyone is interested.

"I've got no one to blame but my fat self"
"I'm a dancin foo ooo oool"
See the similarities? :)


Date: Wed, 08 Mar 2000 20:02:58 PST
From: "Duncan Kimball" <>
Subject: Witless for the persecution
Message-ID: <>

Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury,

My esteemed colleague, Mr Sherwood has placed before you certain evidence,
and has made certain assertions, pertaining to the matter of an alleged
force or energy, known to its proponents as "Orgone Energy".

I would like to address some of Mr Sherwood's evidence, and the inferences
he draws from it.

>Now, loathe as I usually am to fall in a credulous heap over
> >pseudopscience (my wife generally refers to me in the throes of >passion
>as Doctor Subtilis, her Studmuffin of Skeptical Inquiry)

With all due respect to my learned colleague, I contend that Mr Sherwood
must here be indulging in, at the very least, a flight of fancy. It is
universally accepted, and is certainly my own experience, that wives are not
subject to such an unseemly state or condition as  might be described as
"the throes of passion". And the contention that wives might be subject to
this behaviour in proximity to their own husbands would be scandalous, were
it not so utterly improbable.

And there is further inconsistency in Mr Sherwood's assertion that his own
wife refers to him in the manner that he claims - for, as we all know,
husbands are invariably the least likely persons to be affectionately
referred to by their wives during these alleged "throes" - although the
probability that a husband could be fortunate enough to in the vicinity at
the time would be be so low as to almost equalt that of the existence of
Orgone Energy itself.

>I must demur from Dunks's all-too-hasty dismissal of Reich's
> >groundbreaking research. After all, a form of energy
>that can make William S. Burroughs' willie come off in his hand (am I
>remembering that right?) can't be *entirely* bad, can it?

Here I must suggest, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that the statement
attributed to Mr Burroughs, concerning the alleged "coming" (or "going")
"off" of his so-called "willie" in his hand - an event he claims took place
in response to the presence of an Orgone Accumulator - must be characterised
as hearsay. I would further observe that his statement bears a suspicious
resemblance to similar claims Mr Burroughs made to police on the occasion of
the death of his first wife in an unfortunate shooting incident. I put it to
you that Mr Burroughs has a compulsive habit of responding to such
situations by claiming that the object in question simply "went off" in his
hand, and that it must be trated with utmost suspicion.

>Another item mitigating in favor of Reich's far-reaching findings is >the
>fact of the existence of the Orgone Biophysical Research >Laboratory,
>curated by one Dr. James DeMeo, Ph.D. (come on! A *real* >Ph.D., Dunks!).
>And would a *real* Ph.D. waste his valuable time and >ours working on a web
>site if he didn't think the subject was really >important?

Mr Sherwood's assertion here seems at first glance to be sound, ladies and
gentlemen - but let's look behind the facade, shall we? Are we really to be
convinced of the validity of a scientific claim, merely because the person
making the claim posesses academic qualifications? Surely not! After all, I
put to you that the originator of this alleged science of "Orgonics", one
Wilhelm Reich, himself was the recipient of a doctorate in psychology. And
we need only look to the  scandal surrounding the announcement that US
scientists had discovered a "cold fusion" process - or indeed the infamous
research into "racial intelligence" conducted by Dr H.J. Eysenk -  to place
these claims in their proper perspective - as pure bunkum!

>See in particular the section of the site, "Response to the So-Called
>'Skeptics' and Other Super-Critics of Orgonomy" (that's *you*, Mister
>Smarty-pants Kimball!) where there's a whole boatload of articles
> >defending Reich. That all of the articles were penned by Doctor >DeMento
>himself, and that they all appear to be refreshingly free of >such tired
>old hidebound academic fripperies as empirical >observation, the scientific
>method and peer review, only testifies to >the urgency of the matter at,
>er, hand. After all,
>if the world can be saved by the energy released through orgasms, >then we
>shouldn't be sitting around on our duffs *talking* about >it--let's get out
>there and *do* it! Right hand fast, left hand slow: >whichever you pick,
>just go, man, go!

Members of the jury, it will here suffice, I think, merely to observe that
in the preceding observations, Mr Sherwood is indeed "doing his bit" for the
cause of world improvement through masturbation - a cause which I
wholeheartedly endorse.

Now, before I offer my closing arguments, I would like digress briefly to
express my gratitude to Mr Sherwood, who kindly alerted us all to a
marvellous device known as the "Nori", which provides an invalauble aid to
the modern man and woman by means of its ability to clean the nasal
passages. For this I am doubly indebted to you, Mr Sherwood. In the first
instance, you have made me aware of this previously overlooked biological
necessity (which until now has inexplicably escaped the notice of the best
and brightest in the biological sciences). In the second instance, you have
generously obviated any necessity for me to buy this device, saving me a
tidy US$49.50, by means of your timely referral to the Nori webpage. I
viewed the site, and, on finding it to contain delightfully amusing
photographs illustrating two satisfied customers enjoying the benefits only
the Nori can provide, I was instantly induced to clean out my own nasal
passages by means of a fit of violent laughter, which caused the hot tea I
was drinking to be extruded through my nose. I feel all the better for it -
God bless you, sir!

In closing, members of the jury, I refer you to my opening statement of some
days ago, in which I asserted that one must always look behind the claims
made for phenomena such as Orgone Energy, and that all too often these
claims disguise a pecuniary motive. Although he has couched them in terms
both suave and ingratiating, the evidence can be found in Mr Sherwoods own

He freely admits that the device known as the Orgone Accumulator  - a device
contructed from such space-age materials as wool, galvanised steel, plywood
and beeswax - a device whose efficacy could (generously) described as wholly
unproven - will cost the hapless consumer no less than TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY

Finally I refer you to the statement of one Dr DeMeo, an alleged "expert" in
orgone energy, whose website reveals to us that the headquarters of his
research facility which, we discover, is located

"... in southern Oregon, in the mountains above the picturesque town of
Ashland which is known around the world for its natural beauty and
Shakespeare Theatre festivals. Following two-years of fundraising
and an extensive land search, a 16-acre site was located which met or
exceeded all of our necessary requirements for an exceptional research and
educational facility."

How fortunate for Dr DeMeo. In the words of a well-known television
character, The Chuch Lady:

"Well, isn't that special?"

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury - I rest my case.


(who promises NEVER to talk about orgone energy again as long as he lives,
cross my heart and hope to die)


Date: Thu, 9 Mar 2000 15:48:53 -0000
From: Lawson Dominic <>
Subject: Oh David
Message-ID: <>

Here's the deal. I tried to keep this off-list, because I know how annoying
these snotfest things can be for some of you. However, David Oh refused to
reply to my message and returned it, apparently "unread" (yeah right!)
despite having asked me direct questions both privately and publicly. Here
is my response. Please scroll down if you couldn't care less.

Sorry David, but I can't allow you to keep playing Jesus to my alleged
Satan like this, so I'll keep this between us. I was hoping after your
message to me that you'd do the same, but apparently not.

>>silent for all these weeks and then
surfacing only to (once again) berate me for... for.. what? being

No, for being needlessly sycophantic, insincere and generally desperate
to win some imaginary "who's the biggest XTC fan" competition in which
you are the only contestant. You thanked Andy for the signing AT THE
TIME. Doing it again 12 months later is pointless buttlickery,
especially since Andy doesn't read Chalkhills. If he did, he'd be
highly embarrassed to read such fawning nonsense.

>>why the hell you are even on this list, one that celebrates a band that
promotes tolerance and understanding, is beyond me.

Yes, evidently. Here's why: I love XTC and have done for nearly 20
years. I have written numerous relevant posts, generally appreciated by
some and not by others (ooh, how shocking!) but that's life and I can
take the dissent on the chin. I can appreciate that I can come across as
aggressive, but despite countless comments by myself and others (some of
whom have met me so they know better than you) to the contrary, you seem
unable to accept
that I occasionally want to take the piss a bit. Your ego must be so
huge if you think I'm really trying to insult you. Furthermore, XTC
certainly do promote tolerance and understanding but they don't promote
banality, vapidity or the idea that we should all just agree with each
other in case someone gets annoyed.

What I simply won't do is sit and watch you continually congratulate
yourself on what a lovely guy you are, what a staunch XTC devotee you
are (as if other people on the list are missing something that only you
can see) and how your "analyses" of XTC songs are apparently adored and,
bizarrely, even requested by Chalkhillians. You're as entitled to write
insight-free bilge as much as anyone, but don't wet yourself when
someone sees through your oh-so-worthy facade. Believe me, there are
many people on the list who do -- it's just that I'm the only one
arrogant and hostile enough to voice my opinion about it!

Writing "peace & xtc" at the end of each post doesn't make you Gandhi,
for God's sake. If I'm arrogant -- and I freely admit to it -- then
you're something worse because you hide behind this christlike innocence
and benevolence which, when it comes down to it, doesn't extend to your
tolerance of other people's views. Telling me to grow up is beyond a
joke, not that you'd spot one if it jumped up and bit your face off.

Otherwise, carry on!



Date: Wed, 8 Mar 2000 15:53:28 -0500
From: "Kate Burda" <>
Subject: Re: Dog Vomit
Message-ID: <000101bf89f4$15b0d840$>

>Personally, I don't care if Andy and Colin decide to name
>the album *Dog Vomit* - if the music is still delicious, I'll
>"consume" it...

 A title like Dog Vomit would be better than Wasp Star...


Date: Thu, 09 Mar 2000 13:05:05 -0500
From: "Duncan Watt" <>
Subject: I, Rearrangement Servant
Message-ID: <>

awa <> floated:

> hey XTC enthusiasts,
> can someone please explain to me the logic behind the name "Wasp"?
> all i can i think of is the acronym for that particular racial
> designation.
> i seem to have missed out on something.
> --alec

Tough one, A. I'm thinking anagrams. "Rat's Paws"? "Spa Warts"? "Saw Parts"?

How about "Wrap T' Ass"? Wasssup!

Your Pal Duncan Watt

email me:
surf me:


Date: Thu, 9 Mar 2000 11:44:31 EST
Subject: Re: Wasp
Message-ID: <>

awa wrote:

<<hey XTC enthusiasts,

can someone please explain to me the logic behind the name "Wasp"?

all i can i think of is the acronym for that particular racial

i seem to have missed out on something.>>

You and me both, Awa, I'm totally dumbfounded by the choice (or maybe
just dumb). It is a very difficult title to say, maybe Andy thought
that was funny, who knows. I was thinking of how Andy said this new
album was most like black sea, which led me to:

black  ---> wasp (opposites)
sea ---> star (earthbound vs. celestial or cosmic)

I dunno, think I may be reachin'. this title totally stumps me,
though. Anybody have any insight? At first I thought Andy was just
joking, but after that quote in billboard, I don't know what to make
of the whole thing. Very unexpected from this camp, though I do think
it's a wise move to give the album an "additional" name besides AV2 to
minimize confusion among new fans.

Later, Will


Date: Thu, 9 Mar 2000 14:48:38 EST
Subject: Wasp Star Mystery Solved
Message-ID: <>

No, no, no.... It's not some dorm-rat gobbledygook about Mayans and
Venus--it's named after a totally bitchen guitar:

I could see Andy playing this one, I really could. The hell with Fano and all
that snooty-assed Noo Yawk luthier crap: Give me the Jackson Wasp Star with
that PHAT Harley-Davidson logo on it, run through a Rat pedal. My hair
assumes a three-foot-wide poodle-curl just thinking about it.

*That's* what they shoulda named the album: "More Gobbledygook About Mayans
and Venus."

Harrison "A-and a studded leather strap about nine feet long so the fucker
hangs down about knee-high" Sherwood


Date: Thu, 9 Mar 2000 14:31:36 -0500
From: "Barry Koch" <>
Subject: Crap from "fox411 by Roger Friedman" at
Message-ID: <>


XTC Fires Up the Wasp Star

The good news yesterday about Steely Dan and Santana could be an omen. Also
yesterday I received a copy of XTC's forthcoming album, Wasp Star (Apple
Venus, Volume 2). It will be released on May 23 and my best is that
"Stupidly Happy," the second track, will get a lot of attention.

This is the second Apple Venus album in a year from TVT Records. If you've
never heard of XTC, they are a 20-year-old British ensemble with Beatlesque
tunes and rich melodies. Their recordings back through 1986 (Skylarking,
Oranges and Lemons, Nonsuch and Apple Venus, Volume 1) make a startlingly
terrific library of underrated, eminently hummable, intelligent pop music.

The Billboard magazine web site ran a story yesterday about XTC not being
part of a Paul McCartney tribute album. Sadly, this is true, because there
is no such project happening. Too bad  whoever started the rumor included
Crowded House and other McCartney-ites as possible participants. XTC would
have been perfect. Instead we'll just have to settle for their own records.



Date: Thu, 9 Mar 2000 13:20:19 -0600
From: RNV <>
Subject: Find Some Lovely
Message-ID: <>

probably because it's going on the *other* McCartney tribute "the Best
Songs I Never Wrote"


> Hey Chalksters, does anyone know why "Some Lovely (My Brown Guitar)" isn't
> on the new album?
> Victor Rocha


Date: Thu, 09 Mar 2000 14:21:55 -0600
From: "Todd Bernhardt" <>
Subject: PG, KG and DG
Message-ID: <>
Organization: Enterworks, Inc.


Smudgeboy said:
> IMHO, (don't you HATE acronyms) we need more Doms - all things are
> great as long as they aren't taken too seriously - including peace and
> love.  Keep pricking the egos Dom.

And egoing the pricks, for that matter.

Chris V said:
> Despite a seven-year hiatus, [XTC] still out produced Peter
> Gabriel three to one.(not counting Rag and Bone Buffet- almost an original
> album in its own right)

Well, to give PG his due, you shouldn't just count his solo albums
(especially after quoting "The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway"!) -- he's
been at it since at least 1968, initially putting out albums at the pace
(~one per year) recommended by your friendly neighborhood music
conglomerate. I think his recent dropoff in output can be attributed to
1) his interest in other things, including various causes, and 2) his
conscious decision to "walk right out of the machinery." In that (as in
other things), he has a lot in common with our boys.

And Randy Spears, er, Hiatt said:
> I had a KG sighting as well and equally worth getting... Kevin did a cover
> of "Back in NewYork City" from the final Peter Gabriel era Genesis double LP
> called The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway.  It's on the Genesis tribute CD
> called Suppers Ready and it kicks holy hell.

First of all, glad to see all the talk about KG ... RIP, Kev. Yeah, his
cover of "Back in NYC" kicks, and those interested in hearing more
should hear the live version of "Lamb" (the album, not just the song)
that Kevin's band Giraffe did for ProgFest '94. Well done and lots of

> Another piece of trivia was KG died because of a accident during wild sex
> (strangling) at the hands of Sheryl Crow.  Is that true?... what would that
> do to your (her) head??

Well, not quite. Chris V. got the rumor right (with a little
orgonembellishment). I'm sure Sheryl has a thing or two to feel guilty
about, though. For more on that, listen to "Leaving Miss Broadway" or
"Fun" (the first is a KG live cut, and the second is on "The Shaming of
the True").

And Chris V. again:
> XTC content? Ok. Lyle Workman plays on Thud, and he also played on Todd
> Rundgren's Second Wind, which gives him an Andy Partridge number of 2.

Kevin, Lyle and Mike Keneally were all pals, and given MK's involvement
w/XTC during the recording of O&L, I'd bet dollars to d'oh nuts that
they hung out together at some point in the City of the Sun. I bet Dave
G. could tell us ...

[Attachment omitted, unknown MIME type or encoding (text/x-vcard)]


Date: Thu, 9 Mar 2000 20:27:08 +0000
From: "Steve Pitts" <>
Subject: It's Mayan planet and I'll whinge if I want to
Message-ID: <>

In #6-38 the hostile and arrogant Mr. Lawson stated:

> Apparently "wasp star" is another name for Xux Ek or Mercury <

Since I can't speak a word of Spanish I couldn't check out the source you
quoted, but according to one or two English texts that I found 'Wasp Star'
may actually be Venus (however, said texts also refer to Xux Ek, which does
normally seem to refer to Mercury). Perhaps Andy thinks it refers to Venus,
or has found some reference to that??

Bill Sherlock's inquisitive mind wondered:

> What exactly is one doing when"digging out a verruca with a drawing
pin."? <

Exactly that, no slang involved. For 'drawing pin' read thumb tack, or
anything with a sharp point, and a verruca is a wart like growth, normally
on the foot (although I can't believe that that is an English word unknown
over the other side of the pond)

Rob Cosentino offered:

> A "WASP" is a White Anglo Saxon Protestant <

and it's also an insect with a striped body and wings. So what?? The WASP
acronym is not widely used over this side of the pond and I doubt that Andy
intends that interpretation of it. Dom's Mayan planet seems a more likely

and Chris Vreeland came to the conclusion that:

> Peter Gabriel was and is an incredible artist <

Agreed, but sadly not a prolific one. Spookily, your top four of 1982 would
almost certainly have been high on any list of mine, were I inclined to
such practices. What good taste you have sir :)

Cheers, Steve  (who doesn't really care what they call it, just as long as
they don't delay releasing it any longer than they have already)


End of Chalkhills Digest #6-39

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