Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #6-212

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 6, Number 212

                   Friday, 28 July 2000


                 huey lewis & the noose?
                  re: sick to my stomach
                  A nervous introduction
         don't touch that dwarf, these are funny
         Final Word On Rap & Andy's Hard Red Pod.
                     Dear Oh Dear God
                   Three minor matters
  's the story of my life.....
                     Huey Dewey Louie
             ain't nothin' but a Hound Guide
                   Four for the pot...
                       Crappy Tunes
       Presumably you get 1.5 cc from an inchworm??
                         Bum Rap


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I've got all morning, I've got all year.


Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 23:08:30 EDT
Subject: huey lewis & the noose?
Message-ID: <>

i choose the noose

>Well, I can't actually betray Andy's confidence and tell you, but let's
>just say, "Well I hear the blues a calling, tossed salads and scrambled

news flash*********
kelsey grammar star as andrew partridge
in broadway production of:
"the bridge over the river of orchids"
aka "where's that confounding bridge?"
choreographed by chuck connors
written by chuck manson and robert frost
cameo: phil collins as a packet of seeds

the capt


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 00:10:04 EDT
Subject: re: sick to my stomach
Message-ID: <>

I would definately have to agree with the choice of REO Speedwagon on a band
that makes me ill everytime I hear them.  Not only for bad memories of people
I didn't like who loved the song, but also I couldn't stand the singers
voice,  and that trademark REO slide up or down at the end of every sentence
of every song.
I would add Rush, personally, to my list, same reason; I don't like the
singer's voice, or the production on thier songs.


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 17:51:19 +1000 (EST)
From: Mark <>
Subject: A nervous introduction
Message-ID: <>

I must be crazy: my first post in this august forum, and I'm already
wading into what seems like a perennial thread, ie the relative
worth/worthlessness of rap.

However, I've never to been one to shy away from kamikaze moves, so here
goes. My take on the whole thing is mostly to agree with both sides:
spineless, I know. Most rap is awful. On the other hand, so is most rock,
most pop, most blues, and most jazz. Sturgeon's Law, I believe: 90% of
everything is crap.

If you're interested in finding some interesting rap/hip-hop, however, it
is out there: I suggest Dr Octagon, ("Blue Flowers" in particular),
Casual (more for the incredible verbal dexterity than any particularly
profound insights), and of course all the artists who've been influenced
by hip-hop like Portishead, Massive Attack, and Beck. (Suggesting music to
people who've been collecting music longer than I've been alive in some
cases: am I not the epitome of arrogance?). Labels are deceptive: would
you like to have our beloved XTC judged on Britney Spears because they're
both pop?

Anyway, that's probably enough: seeing as there should probably be at
least *some* XTC content, I'm currently listening to "No language in our
lungs", Wasp Star is one of the loveliest albums I've ever heard, my first
XTC album (virgin experience?) was Go 2, which I love to bits, and my
favourite is my LP of Drums and Wires, to which, once turned up as loud as
my stereo and neighbours can bear, I dance around my room like an
epileptic on crack. (Imagine a student programmer with a ponytail who used
to play front-row flailing around his room like an intoxicated bear, and
you've almost got it.)

(quick namecheck: Soul Coughing, Tom Waits, XTC (of course), Jane's
Addiction, Nick Cave, Ben Harper, Radiohead, Primus, Mike Watt, Gomez,
Elvis Costello, Morphine, Skunkhour, Sly and the Family Stone, Living
Colour, Massive Attack, Miles Davis, Charles Mingus, and Thelonious Monk.
Am I entirely out of place?)

affably ugly


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 05:23:41 0000
From: "Peter Bresnick" <>
Subject: don't touch that dwarf, these are funny
Message-ID: <>
Organization: Lycos Communications (

 I really think that the early Firesign is tremendously funnier than
the later stuff. I don't know; here's what I think:

Must-hear Firesign Theater albums

How Can You Be in Two Places at Once when You're Not Anywhere at
All--featuring lines like "Don't we do it in the road here at Ralph
Spoilsport Motors. Hi, I'm Ralph Spoilsport...just dial
99999999999..." and "That's nothing but a two-bit ring from a Cracker
Jack box."

I Think We're all Bozos on This Bus--featuring lines like "Wanna
squeeze the nose? Go ahead." and "(singing)Where the vegetables are
green and you can pee into the stream..."

Waiting for the Electrician or Someone Like Him--featuring
Malcolm-X.-John-Lennon and a Turkish prison.

Don't Crush that Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers--a girl named Bottles and
lots of imaginary tv surfing.

XTC content: Did you know that Andy sings one of his songs, Paper
Snow, on an ex-Talking Heads (i.e., The Heads) album (No Talking, Just
Head)? It's really good. He's only on this track and the rest of the
album is a bit spotty. Spots are zits in England.



Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 06:52:43 +0100
Subject: napster
Message-ID: <>

have you heard they have been ordered to cease operating by u.s law?

kind regards, DAVE


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 03:24:51 -0400 (EDT)
From: Radios In Motion <>
Subject: Final Word On Rap & Andy's Hard Red Pod.
Message-ID: <>

First, I want to mention about something I saw on (the makes
of the Pod).  Andy has a quote promoting the Pod on their Artists page.
However, it does not say "Andy Partridge (XTC).  It just says his name,
while all the other groups it says their band name and a short collection
of people they worked with.  Anyway, I don't think its a conspiracy, just
wanted to mention it.  Anyone else here like the Pod?  I am thinking of
getting one.

Now, on with the rap.  I agree with most of you and disagree with some.  I
am somewhat closed minded sometimes myself.  I hate Techno, Disco, Metal &
Country, but maybe I am missing out on some really good groups (accept for
Disco).  I mean, I like Fat Boy Slim, and he is somewhat, Techno I guess.
Anyway, Rap is not as bad as you may think it is.  I will give a bunch of
recommendations and ask that you check these out with an open mind.
Actually, one of the groups below does a cover of that song "Dear God"
from that group XTC!

These are not listed in any particular order.  Remember, at least for the
next 2 days you can download songs from Napster.  To find out the songs,
just go to

1. Boogie Down Productions: Edutainment.  This is the same Rap artist (KRS
One) that has appeared on a few "alternative" groups albums.  Including,
REM and Too Much Joy.  He also did a punk song on his last album.  He uses
live instruments and samples.

2. Flatlinerz.  I just mentioned this for fun.  They are a somewhat
Gothic/satanic Hip-Hop group.  I just thought the concept was funny.
Gravediggaz is another honorable mention in this genres.  6 Feet Deep by
Gravediggaz is great.  They are a live band too!

3. Future Sound.  They had one album called "Whole Shabang, Vol. 1" I
picked it up because the cover looked like it may be good music.  It was
well executed Hip-Hop.  What was funny is that the majority of their
influences listed in the album were groups like "The Cure" and "Morrissey"
and "XTC" Something many of you may not have expected to see on a rap

4. Shortyz Groove.  They are a newer group.  I don't like them much, but
they are not bad at all.  They use instruments like some of the above
groups and don't rely on samples.  In fact, they actually do a cover
version of "Dear God" from that group, XTC.  I have 2 coppes (I picked up
a bunch when I saw them) I will sell them for $10 each + $1.21 shipping.

5. Stetsasonic.  Classic Hip-Hop.  They had a full band.  They used
samples, but responsibly in the songs, but not as the songs themselves.
They did not just uses Instrumentals.  2 of the members later formed the
group mentioned above "Gravediggaz." Though they sound NOTHING alike.

6. Tribe Called Quest "Peoples Instinctive Travels Through The Paths Of
Rhythm.  One of the best albums I have ever heard.  Did a good job at
sampling Lou Reed too!

7. Freestyle Fellowship.  Also use a full live band.  Part of the LA
underground Scene.  A good album to get would be "To Whom It May Concern"
and "Inner City Griots" Both their albums are really good.

8. De La Soul: 3 Feet High & Rising.  One of the first major violations of
the whole sampling/copyright things.  They were actually one of the first
rap groups sued for sampling.  They used a bit of a turtles song on a
skit, yes, A DAMN 30 second SKIT!  They too use live instruments
throughout their album and always tour with a full band.

9. Disposable Heroes Of Hiphopracy.  They had one album and ended the
group.  They did a great cover version of a song by Dead Kennedy's
"California Ubber Alles."  He is solo now doing solo work under the name
"Spearhead" which also uses a full live band!  Go Figure!

10.  The Roots.  Another group that is a full Jazz Band/Rap Group.  Yes,
once again another group (and they are mainstream) that are a full live

Special mentions go to Divine Styler (You mean he uses a band?!), Kool
Keith (Him too?), Ultramagnetic MC's (also a band), The Coup (another
group that uses a full live band!), Organized Konfusion (Really?), Leaders
Of The New School, Fugees and Wyclef (he is also a DAMN good guitarist)
and of course Beastie Boys and Public Enemy.  I could name a few hundred
more, but I need to sleep tonight..

One last thing... There is nothing wrong with sampling either way.  In
fact, many groups, including a lot of old R&B and Jazz artists and groups
like Tom Tom Club have given credit to Hip-Hop for helping to gain a
larger audience for their music.  Even David Byrne appeared on a Rap song.
IT, DON'T LISTEN!  You listen to this, I will gladly listen to any
recomended Metal, Country or Techno (but not Disco!)


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 15:34:11 ICT
From: "Daniel Stomierosky" <>
Subject: Dear Oh Dear God
Message-ID: <>

The other evening, I pulled my Dear God CD-EP out for its first listen in
a while.  While it was playing, I noticed that the sound was somewhat
scratchy but the disc itself did not mis-track.  When I removed the disc
from the CD player, I noticed that the aluminum platter encased in the
clear plastic has developed a series of pinholes that you can see through.
I'm assuming that given more time to deteriorate, the disc will be
rendered unplayable.

The disc in question is the 1987-vintage CD with the cardboard cover.
Anybody else have a similar experience with this disc?



Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 14:04:16 +0200
From: Erich Sellheim <>
Subject: Three minor matters
Message-ID: <>

Hello everyone,

three things I've just got to mention:

1) Without stealing melody or lyrics, I'm The Man Who Murdered Love is
remarkably close to Carrie-Anne by The Hollies.

2) Does anyone else hear the ghost of Snakefinger in the more dissonant
parts of the Church Of Women guitar solo?

3) Another band which to my knowledge hasn't recorded even a nano-second
of good music is Simply Red.

Best wishes to all of you,

Erich Sellheim


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 12:32:24 +0100
From: Adrian Ransome <>
Subject:'s the story of my life.....
Message-ID: <497FEA72C392D3118AE700508B7311773E2E30@NT4SERVER03>

The first record given to me was (deep breath) a 7" single of 'Sun Arise'
b/w 'Messing About On the River' when I was about 3 or 4 years old. That was
in the days when labels like MFP would release LPs of all the latest chart
records recorded by artists who sounded almost, but not quite, completely
unlike the person they're supposed to be. This 'gift' single also wasn't by
the original artist (Rolf Harris) but by someone who also sounded almost,
but not quite, completely unlike him. (As for its whereabouts now, it's
probably entertaining the worms 30 feet underground at our local landfill,
and good job too).

Luckily, things improved thereafter when I was given two 'Music For
Pleasure' compilation albums "Ride A White Swan" by T.Rex and "Fire Brigade"
by The Move. These came with a portable Fidelity record player which gave
off the aroma of warm circuit boards after 5 minutes' use. Both LPs were
lovingly played to destruction and were, I suppose, ultimately responsible
for my love of a decent pop tune.

Shortly after receiving these two albums, my brother gave me discs by Faust
and Can. The Can LP had mice on the cover and was completely unlistenable to
my pre-pubescent ears, the Faust one (with the X-rayed hand cover art)
wasn't too bad. After that, he brainwashed me with Mental Notes, The Lamb
Lies Down On Broadway and Tales From Topographic Oceans.

As payment, I later introduced him to XTC.


"is that by the Ronettes?"
"No, the French and the Germans"


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 06:39:42 -0500
From: "Christopher R. Coolidge" <>
Subject: Huey Dewey Louie
Message-ID: <l03130300b5a5ccdb9200@[]>

>One more awful band nobody's mentioned:
>Huey Lewis and the News.
>Maybe everyone just suppressed the traumatic memory of their horrible
>garbage, I don't know. I'd be really surprised if anyone leaped to their
>defence, but then again...
>Ugly memory: that radio version of "Heart of Rock & Roll" with the name of
>"your city here" edited into the ending.
>The guy looked like he should've been a gym teacher...
>Ed K.

  Huey Lewis can be heard playing the odd harmonica solo on Elvis C.'s My
Aim Is True; his previous band Clover(including a couple of other future
members of the News) was the backup band on that classic album. Huey Newis
and the Loos had the right influences, British pub-rock like Brinsley
Schwarz and Ducks Deluxe. Unfortunately they streamlined it into sucky 80's
pop somehow. Huey did write two good songs, though; "Walking On A Thin
Line" is one of the best songs I've heard about the Vietnam veteran issue,
out-Springteening Springsteen, and "Bad Is Bad" is a cleverly written blues
I'd recommend to BB King which Dave Edmunds did a good version of(better
than Huey's own)on his Repeat When Necessary album. Everything else of his
I've heard sucks eggs, though if you put a gun to my back and forced me to
listen to a Huey Dewey Louie album of my choice I'd pick Sports because it
includes the two above songs. I have nothing against the guy personally,
though; I thought he was good in Altman's Short Cuts. He has potential as a
character actor a la Tom Waits or Kris Kristofferson; hopefully he'll go
that route and leave the music business alone.

Christopher R. Coolidge

Homepage at


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 07:09:54 EDT
Subject: ain't nothin' but a Hound Guide
Message-ID: <>

All the world's a stage, and everyone's a critic....

A long time ago, a poster pointed out how harsh the "Hound
Guide to Rock" [1999] was in their reviews of XTC.  Hear, hear!
The problem with that guide is that, with over 60 different music
critics contributing reviews, there is no consistency of reviewers'
POV, philosophy, or quality, for that matter.  I'll give them credit
for assigning XTC to Christopher Scapelliti, editor at Guitar
World and Guitar World Acoustic, and one of the Guide's most
prolific and apparently trusted critics (also penning the reviews
of The Beatles, Bjork, Frank Black, John Cale, and The Chills,
just to give you a sampling from his work from A-C).  However,
that's where the trouble begins.

On a scale from one to five "bones," with five being the cat's meow,
here's Scapelliti's assessment of the XTC discography:

White Music:  2 1/2
Go 2:  1
Drums and Wires:  4
Black Sea:  3 1/2
English Settlement:  2 1/2
Waxworks:  3 1/2
Mummer:  3 1/2
The Big Express:  2 1/2
The Compact XTC:  4
25 O'Clock:  3 1/2
Psonic Psunspot:  4
Chips from....:  4
Skylarking:  5
Oranges and Lemons:  2
Rag and Bone Buffet:  2 1/2
Nonsuch:  3 1/2
Upsy Daisy:  5

A. Partridge:
Take Away/The Lure of Salvage:  2
Through the Hill [with H. Budd]:  4

And he further recommends, without a bone rating, the
Skylarking demos on Extatic.

The Hound Guide also delineates musical influences, coming and going.

Listed as influences on XTC:  The Beach Boys, The Beatles, Bob Dylan,
Pink Floyd, and Todd Rundgren.  [Where are The Kinks?]

Listed as being influenced by XTC:  The B-52's, The Buzzcocks,
Wire, Husker Du, The La's, The Pursuit of Happiness, and Blur.

Scapelliti's rather substantial write-up begins on an openly
ambiguous note ("It's hard to put a finger on XTC.  It's either
one of the most creative rock bands to come along or simply
a capable reinventor of rock's more original creators").  From
there, he draws the Lennon/McCartney comparison, sketches
XTC's eclectic influences and protean evolution, and concedes
that "the group has produced hook-laden and highly durable
music at each stage of its development."  The second half of
the overview affectionately details the Dukes project and XTC's
then-about-to-be-resolved strike against Virgin, with the critic
anticipating their post-Virgin material.

As for detailed reviews, the "what to buy" paragraph lauds
Skylarking and Drums and Wires in some detail; the "what
to buy next" segment recommends The Compact XTC
collection and the Dukes material.  The "what to avoid" briefly
disses Go 2 as "merely curious reminders of punk's quirkier
side" with the exception of "the infectious single 'Are You
Receiving Me?'".

Beyond their bone ratings, none of the other albums were
addressed individually.

Altogether, XTC gets just over one page of print, in a book
of 1500 pages.  Then again, so did the band "X".  Oh well....

The Hound Guide's system of reviews is to write up only
the best and worst of an artist.  This may be fine for more
monolithic [read:  static and predictable] artists, but the
more eclectic, adventurous, and chameleonic bands get
short-shifted by this approach, in my opinion.  The Guide
thus assigns the same 2 1/2 bone rating to White Music,
English Settlement, and two bones to Oranges and Lemons --
three remarkably disparate albums -- without any discussion
of their respective styles, songs, agendas, or themes as
such, although a keenly interested reader would anticipate
something of their general leanings from the overview, which
categorizes XTC as "new wave (1977-79), pop-rock (1979-81),
neo-folk (1982-83), and a synthesis of Beatles and Beach Boys
influences (1984-present)."

Clearly XTC represents a harsh litmus test for the Hound
Guide's reviewing system.  The format's sketchiness, which
sacrifices depth for breadth over its 1500 pages (and 20,000
CD reviews representing 1999 artists), suggests that you're
better off using this book in an affirmative way, to try out
more-promising artists, rather than writing off and rejecting
the unfamiliar on the basis of nothing more than, say, a
2 1/2-bone rating.  Unfortunately, while more thoughtful (or
music-obsessed) readers may take the Hound Guide as
being merely suggestive, we know that a big reason to buy
these guides in the first place is to avoid the proverbial
"woofers".   A person on a tight budget, then, would probably
avoid half of the XTC catalogue because of those ratings --
although he might be persuaded to buy Skylarking or the
Dukes compilation -- after which the rest may follow.

What really hurts, though, is comparing XTC's inexplicably
lower ratings to the more-inflated kudos bestowed on other
artists, usually by other reviewers (i.e., too many cooks in
the kitchen).  But don't get me started on that!


And a banner ad by "Swapit" on "The Onion"'s website several
months ago read:

                   "Swap XTC for REM"


"Stupidity is the building block of the universe." -- Frank Zappa


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 08:21:50 -0400
From: "Barry Koch" <>
Subject: Four for the pot...
Message-ID: <>


1 - For the complete-ists - The Mummer-era XTC instrumental tune "Frost
Circus" was featured in the documentary film "Coney Island".  It aired on
public TV (US) recently on "The American Experience".  Info is as

2 - Rap - Not all rap uses sampling nor is the use of sampling exclusive to
rap.  Not all rap sucks either.

3 - Alien discs -

	1 - OK Computer - Radiohead
	That's about it really.

4 - 70s crap - "Walker, Keith (Imprimis)" <> wrote:

>And, as long as we're on this thread, has anyone mentioned "Chevy
>Van" by (I think) Jimmy Samms?  Granted, the song made for some great
>post-adolescent fantasies, but, otherwise, I kinda' wish he'd driven that
>van right off of a cliff. . . .

Thats "Sammy Johns" and that's all right with me.

Barry "don't come a-knockin'" Koch


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 08:56:08 -0400
From: "Lippitt, Andy" <>
Subject: Crappy Tunes
Message-ID: <B56537D6381AD411AEF600D0B73EB5AF146673@SHREIK>

Amy Denham Complained:

>Oh this is wretched indeed--I had managed to forget about that song's
>existence, and now you've probably got it firmly cemented in my head for the
>next week!  It's "Playground in My Mind", and I have forgotten who the hell
>sang (??) it.

And one "Imprimus chimed in:

>remember was chillingly close to the guy who "Run, Joey, Run" and "Young
>Girl".  And, as long as we're on this thread, has anyone mentioned "Chevy
>Van" by (I think) Jimmy Samms?

For the record, and I'm embarrassed that I know these facts, "Playground in
My Mind" was by Cliff Holmes, "Run Joey Run" was David Geddes and Chevy Van
(which my friend Bill still says is his favorite song, strange agent, that
Bill) was performed by the (thankfully) inimitable Sammy Johns.

What troubles me most is that although I  clearly remember these facts as if
prompted by Casey Casem's cue cards, I am at a loss trying to remember what
I had for lunch today.

Another Guy Named Andy


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 14:24:52 +0100
Subject: Presumably you get 1.5 cc from an inchworm??
Message-ID: <>


In #6-207 Ed responded to my query WRT 'in my yard' with an interesting
discourse that ended with:

> in which case he's almost poking fun at the North American usage of the
word... <

I must admit that I hadn't thought of that possibility, and unless I
actually get to meet the man himself I'll probably never know for sure

and  Jon Rosenberger was confused by one of my dialectic euphemisms:

> Can any Brits help out here? Does that mean what I think it does? <

Tallywhacker? Nooo, not exactly. You're close. Think about it. Nadgers is

and Ben Lukoff queried:

> Artie's production?  AFAIK he was only listed as co-producer with Paul on
the last two albums... <

I was under the impression that Artie had a bigger hand than that in the
last couple of albums, but I guess I could be wrong (the source would be a
couple of (BBC) radio programmes on S&G in the mid Seventies, and it may be
that my memory is failing me). My opinion was also coloured by the solo
albums that I heard (my Mum was a big S&G fan, and had the first three or
four Art solo efforts). Perhaps I've just been maligning the man all these
years, but it certainly seemed to me that Paul Simon's solo stuff was far
better presented than the latter S&G albums.

Cheers, Steve

NP: Jethro Tull - This Was


Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 15:22:21 +0100
From: Lawson Dominic <>
Subject: Ass
Message-ID: <>

Good afternoon, creatures of the deep. And for my next prick...

>>3. Robert Plan(e)t: Chris Robinson, while a good performer in his own
right, is not fit to tie Robert Plant's shoelaces, if you ask me.

Well we didn't bloomin' ask you, Mr Miles-Off-The-Mark...besides, Chris
Robinson can sing the birds from the trees and the turds from my arse. Oh
look, there goes another, sweet caca, and be free!

Seriously though Dunks, me old chinese meal, Plant has neither the range
(seriously!) nor the raw, emotive power that Chris Robinson exudes from
every last vocal whatsit. Led Zeppelin were fantastic, obviously, and
Plant's voice could, at times, send shivers up yer penny whistle, but while
Robinson clearly has the soul of a poet, Plant has the soul of a bloated,
drug-guzzling twat and is also responsible for David ****ing Coverdale. I
rest my case. You might be right about the Pagemeister - haven't heard the
Crowes/Page album yet, so I'm reserving my harumphing until a later date -
but knock the Crowes and you're pissing up my front door, pal.

I also think The Doors were, and are, vastly overrated. And I smoke pot. Go
I know what you're saying about Break On Through and so on...they certainly
produced some classic tunes & I wouldn't pretend otherwise (well, unless
there was some cheap joke to be made at someone's expense), but come on!
Morrison was a fat, drunk idiot whose lyrics sucked harder than an
industrial Dyson, and whose poetry was even worse. The rest of the band
looked like a bunch of history teachers, and rhyming "fire" with "pyre" and
"desire" is only one step away from the old "sky","why","fly","pie" routine
so beloved of Cast and fuck-wits around the world. Come on baby, run my bath
more like...

On the other hand...Sex Pistols? Over-rated??? COME HERE AND SAY THAT!!!!

>>Bands/artists who lost the plot:
>>Mike Oldfield

Really? You're kidding...surely! Mike Oldfield? He of tubular bells and
Faldo-esque relationship problems? Don't tell me he's made a crap record?!
Perish the thought...and Genesis too? Jesus, what have I been doing? Living
in a box? Ah, now there's a good band...

On a slightly different note, Nicole will be chuffed to learnt that far from
being "insane in the brain" on their new album, Cypress Hill are now
claiming to be "insaniac in the brainiac" which I think is rather splendid.

And I like DMX. So fuck you.

Hurrah for Jim Allen!

>>Hey! "F*** tha Police" by NWA is a great record!  If you get your exposure
to rap via MTV and it's clones, then you're not really getting the whole
picture. There's a lot of cool, innovative stuff going on, but like most
good music, it's not in the mainstream.

Spot bollock on, my friend. "Ooh, it all sounds the same". "Ooh, it's not's just plagiarism". "Ooh, the angry black people are scaring
me". And so on. It's the same with the anti-metal brigade. No idea what
they're ****ing talking about, but churn out the same old, lifeless cliches
just the same. Very poor indeed. Anyone here irritated/offended by Eminem or
DMX? Good.

Also, no offence to Mr Funk, but Dr. Dre is an incredible producer.
Talentless? Don't be so silly.

This all smacks of petulance to me. Ooh, a "new" (i.e. sixteen years old)
style of music that I just don't "get". Must be shit! Er,'s often
astoundingly creative, exciting music which makes me feel good to be alive.
Many lyricists in hip hop are extraordinarily gifted and comparable to Gil
Scott-Heron, the Last Poets, Linton Kwesi and so on, while many of the
producers are just plain amazing; the beats, the manipulation of samples,
the incredible atmospheres they can just haven't heard (or
listened to) the right stuff. You probably still wouldn't like it, but crass
generalisations about entire genres never ring true. It's also appallingly
conceited to suggest that people who buy rap records have somehow missed out
on the apparently obvious fact that the music sucks. Calling me a moron?
Erm, OK, bad example...but I'm sure you know what I mean. Aiiiight!

>>As for melody, very few "Rap songs" have a melody as such and if they
do, they are mundane at best.

A case in point. This statement has no basis in reality. MOST rap songs have
melody, it's just that the lyrics are spoken and (generally) not sung. For
fuck's sake.

>>But keep in mind I am referring to "Mainstream Rap" records
not "Rap" as a whole or idea.

Oh, well that's alright then. Like you know the difference! Pah!!!

Ol' Pa Burnt-Arse quipped...
>>remember the good old days, when we'd get an issue every couple of days,
and the posts would be filled with interesting information and discussion
about XTC?

No, but they sound hot diggity dawg! Tell us more, Gramps!

Ms Squirrel squeaked...
>>XTC - Black Sea
>>Iron Maiden - Powerslave

Sing Hosannas!!!!! (You are serious, aint'cha? Please tell me you
are...blimey, risky business this metal lark)

Tom says...
>>What happens with rap?   I repeat:  What happens with rap??
>>Where's the fucking SONG?  HMMMM?

but should have said

>>I talk rubbish me!

Where's the song???? Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom...and I thought you were a
musical kinda guy! Oh, for shame!

>>In 'My Brown Guitar' Andy sings 'in my yard'.

Well, I've already pointed out the homo-erotic subtext in the song, and he's
always banging on about his tadger, so my guess is he's talking about the
contents of his "yard" girls? eh?

>>"grabbed me by the nadgers and refused to let go"

Translation - "grabbed me by the bollocks (not "tallywacker") and made an
old man very happy"

>>Possibly Frankie Howard

Nope, Frankie Howerd. Unless you're talking about Frankie Howard. Of course.

XTC Content? Yes thanks. Very.




Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 16:59:06 +0200
From: "Mark R. Strijbos" <>
Subject: Bum Rap
Message-ID: <>

Dear Chalkies,

Alan Martin opened up another can of worms:

>    The main  problem I have with "Rap" is it's lack of creativity in the
>    mainstream. I can hear the flame-throwers firing up.
and quite rightly IMHO !
A sweeping statement like yours usually gets up a few noses

>    Image & Style: It's the same old thing over and over. Several guys
>    in football or baseball team emblazoned jackets and caps jamming
>    their face into the camera.
you are right: this is much less creative than all the leather-clad biker
chick laden rock videos out there. Or the myriad of futuristic "sci-fi"
styled dance clips that are all just so incredible original and fun to watch

>    Lyric & Melody: Lately, sampling does seem to be the trend.
Lately? Come on, that started in 198something...
Besides,  nowadays sampling is used just like any other instrument and
not as a gimmicky and often irritating effect.
Perhaps you should take a listen to River of Orchids before you throw
stones in this particular direction

> As for melody, very few "Rap songs" have a melody as such and if they do,
> they are mundane at best.
Mundane melodies are often the best (ref. Stupidly Happy)

> Mostly, it consists of the subsets of cleverly combined
>    phrases set to repetitive rhythm... but, so does modern Country
>    music.
 99% of all other popular music ain't much different. and that includes
XTC coz you just gave a perfect definition of _any_ song lyric
Or would you say that "Yellow Submarine" (to name just 1 example)
has other, perhaps more redeeming lyrical qualities?

But if you know what "she has six swans singing in her sauna"
REALLY means i'll eat my words (or at least this paragraph).

>    The idea that "Rap" lyrics say something important socially is a
>    nice thought in theory, but in practice, they usually make a point
>    that has already been made a thousand times before.
just like you are doing now. does that make your point less valid or
your personal opinion less valuable? i don't think so

>    doesn't make ANYONE more socially conscious just to point out that
>    someone is being abused as a race or gender or economic status or
>    what have you.
absolutely! and of course that is also why people like Martin Luther
King or Nelson Mandela havent made a lasting impression on society.

>    When was the last time you heard a "Rap" lyric and thought, "Wow,
>    I've never thought about *blah* in that way" or "Man, that idea
>    really moves me personally".
how many times have you become enlightened by the wisdom of, say,
the Rolling Stones or the Doors? And did you still feel that way when
you were sober again?

>    Go ahead, flame away. I haven't stated anything that you couldn't
>    find proof for yourself given a little time and a sample of
>    mainstream "Rap" recordings.
or in other words: i'm stupid because i haven't noticed this yet

>But keep in mind I am referring to
>    "Mainstream Rap" records not "Rap" as a whole or idea.
how very clever of you to build an escape hatch; i've gotta hunch you
may need it :)

yours in xtc,

Mark Strijbos @ The Little Lighthouse


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