Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #6-209

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 6, Number 209

                  Thursday, 27 July 2000


                        Cum again
                    Re: Evil Evil Song
               Oops, I Did It One More Time
                  Even proggers like Xtc
                 XTC School Guide and CD
        Re: poop, poop, poop music(talk about it)
          Comedy Albums & "Molly You Hypocrite"
                   premaure ejaculation
      They always take the person in the Ford Probe
                buffet included with show
                  Byrds of a feather...
                     What would I do?
                  Re: In defense of rap
                       Barking Mad
                 Huey, the Unmentionable
            Those G&C albums in full , in full
                   Re: River of Samples
                   Why I oughtta . . .
                    Let's get maudlin
                    Re: This Evil Song
 <off topic> of Jeff, George & Macca & George..and Ringo


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    The views expressed herein are those of the individual authors.

    Chalkhills is compiled with Digest 3.7b (John Relph <>).

Bird, bird, bird, bird, bird, bird, bird, bird, bird, bird.


Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 20:53:19 +0100
From: Belinda Blanchard <>
Subject: Cum again
Message-ID: <>

The Loving Spoonful were 9cc of average sperm ejaculated.
10CC added one cubic centimetre to show they were above average.

XTC content: VH1 did their A-Z of the eighties again this weekend and
XTC's Senses Working Overtime were the chosen song.  Again.

X-Files episode Hollywood AD this weekend on Sky was absolutely
brilliant.  Sorry - wrong digest list thing.



Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 18:02:49 -0700
From: Peter Mullin <>
Subject: Re: Evil Evil Song
Message-ID: <>

the tortured Debora Brown pleads:

> what is the name of this evil song, and why, oh why is it inside my head?

The answer to your first question is "Playground in my Mind" by the
immortal Clint Holmes (the lyric that is torturing you actually runs: "My
girl is Cindy, when we get married, we're gonna have a baby or two..."
Michael appears in the first verse, as in: "My name is Michael, I got a
nickel, I got a nickel shiny and new..."  This is, without a doubt, one of
the worst buckets of dreck foisted upon the radio-listening audience in
the '70's (although Paul Anka, Terry Jacks, Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods,
and whoever it was that sang "Wildfire" sure served up some steaming
mounds themselves...)

The answer to your second question may be similar to the reason why I
actually know the title, lyrics, and "performer" of said dreck: EVERY TIME
I HEAR 'PLAYGROUND' (that's, _our_ 'Playground'), I THINK OF THIS
MONSTROSITY!  I can't help it, I lived through the '70's: there are whole
regions of my brain that have been stuffed with bad song lyrics and
episodes of "Love American-Style"

> Please just kill me now-

No, we'll wait 'til you buy the little "etc." wall plaque


Peter Mullin
Somewhere in Nebraska
"I'm gonna buy me all kinds of candy, that's what I'm gonna do..."


Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 21:00:47 +0100
From: "Rory Wilsher" <>
Subject: Oops, I Did It One More Time
Message-ID: <001201bff734$c122b2e0$3ea4073e@oemcomputer>

David Lake opines:

<BTW, anyone notice that you can sing 'Baby, One More Time' note-4-note,
word-4-word along with 'Oops, I did it again'?>

Errm, yes. It's the first thing you notice about the song.

I recently went to see "Supergirly" in London, who specialise in taking
the piss out of the current boy/girl/boy&girl bands. They do a brilliant
rendition of this (these?) song(s) in which they do precisely this - sing
both songs at the same time. It's verr', verr' funny. But I guess you had
to be there.

Rory "I broke all your records and I played all your rules" Wilsher

p.s. John, is this better?


Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 16:49:42 -0700
From: "Hiatt, Randy" <>
Subject: Even proggers like Xtc
Message-ID: <F34536084B78D311AF53009027B0D7EAE3DA78@FSBEX01>

Writers for Expose had these picks for 1999

Jon Davis listed his 1999 Best Of Year Choices

New Releases:
1.Afro Celt Sound System - Volume 2: Release
2.Emily Bezar - Four Walls Bending
3.Garmarna - Vengeance (Vedergcllningen)
4.Mike Keneally - Nonkertompf
5.Lamb - Fear of Fours
6.Qoph - Kalejdoskopiska Aktiviteter
7.Neil Sadler - Theory of Forms
8.The Science Group - A Mere Coincidence
9.Sorten Muld - Mark II
10.The Tea Party - Triptych
11.XTC - Apple Venus Vol. 1

Archives & Collections:
1.Chrome - Chrome Flashback - Chrome Live 2.JPP - History 3.Mano Negra -
Best Of

1.No-Man - Speak 2.Snakefinger - Chewing Hides the Sound 3.Snakefinger -
Greener Postures

Steve Robey's 1999 picks were...
New Releases: 1.Blast - A Sophisticated Face 2.Universal Totem Orchestra -
Rituale Alieno 3.Blur - 13 4.The Hosemobile - What Can and Can't Go On
5.Masfel - Viperagarzon Viperflat 6.XTC - Apple Venus Vol 1 7.Fifty Foot
Hose - Sing Like Scaffold 8.Olivia Tremor Control - Black Foliage 9.Crevice
- Think of Pleasant Things 10.Neil Haverstick - Acoustic Stick 11.Paisley
Babylon - The Alpha Wave Variations
Archives: 1.Stan Freberg - Tip of the Freberg (box set) 2.Captain Beefheart
and His Magic Band - Grow Fins (box set)3.Can - Live Music (1971-1977)
4.Kraan - The Famous Years Compiled 5.King Crimson - Cirkus 6.Happy the Man
- Death's Crown Reissues: 1.20th Century Zoo - Thunder on a Clear Day
2.Happy the Man - Happy the Man - Fatboy 4.Henry Cow - Unrest
remastered 5.Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band - The Mirror ManSessions
6.Happy the Man - Crafty Hands 7.The Fall - Dragnet 8.Skip Spence - The Oar
9.Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band - Safe as Milk 10.Snakefinger -
Chewing Hides the Sound

Randy (closet proghead) Hiatt


Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 17:12:42 -0700
From: Steven Reule <>
Subject: XTC School Guide and CD
Message-ID: <>


If anyone is looking for the XTC School Guide book and CD, I am selling one
on ebay. The CD has six early "Star Park" tracks.

Go to:
and click on the item number.

Thank you,



Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 20:06:38 EDT
Subject: Re: poop, poop, poop music(talk about it)
Message-ID: <>

In a message dated 7/24/00 11:16:52 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
brown <> writes:

 All this jawin' about the worst song of the 70's has conjured up some lyrics
 from, what may be THE most wretched of all pop smears from that decade..  it
 goes something like this-
 "my name is Michael(?), when we get married, we're going to have a baby or
 two.. we're going to let them visit their grandma, that's what we're going
 to do.."  it may be a girl's name in place of Michael, but Michael is in
 some of the verses..

 Either way, what is the name of this evil song, and why, oh why is it inside
 my head?

 Please just kill me now-

 the tortured Debora Brown >>

The song in question was called :PLAYGROUNDS IN MY MIND.
One of the lines(and I'm quoting from memory here folks!) went:
"My name is Michael .I've got a Nickel.I've got a nickel.Shiny and new.
I'm going to by me all kinds of candy that's what I'm going to do!"

Of course I happen to know a kid named Michael and we would torture
this poor bastard by substituting "Pickle" for "Nickel"

Ahhhhh!!!! Adolescent Humor!!! Is there any other kind!!!



Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 19:19:23 -0700 (PDT)
From: Molly <>
Subject: Comedy Albums & "Molly You Hypocrite"
Message-ID: <>

Well, I LOVE anything by Monty Python and George
Carlin.  I also love albums by Dr. Demento.  His radio
show rocks, even though I don't get his show in my
area, I listen to his show on the web.
A few of you are going to call me a hypocrite when I
say this, because of my viewpoint in the past about
Napster, but I downloaded it a few days ago.  *looks
around for Lars Ulrich*.  I'm one of those people who
would check out a song, then buy the song if I liked
it.  Also, I've found some great songs that I haven't
heard in YEARS like "Happy Birthday" by Altered


AIM Name: MFanton00
Fave Quote: "If your flight is going rough, your soul will lead you to
the nearest exit" - Jump - XTC (A. Partridge)


Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 19:46:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: Tyler Hewitt <>
Subject: premaure ejaculation
Message-ID: <>

Eb gave us a long list of bands that peaked with their
first album. As much as that list made me cringe
(Several of the acts on his list are among my all-time
faves), I had to agree with all of it (except for
possibly Throwing Muses and Laurie Anderson).
Here's a couple of additions of my own:

Arrested Development
The Gun Club
1/2 Japanese

any others?


Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 20:00:20 -0700
From: "Wes Hanks" <>
Subject: They always take the person in the Ford Probe
Message-ID: <001701bff6ad$db393dc0$49d285ce@default>

As I do not listen to music I cannot add to the thread.



Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 19:54:02 -0700
From: "Wes Hanks" <>
Subject: buffet included with show
Message-ID: <001601bff6ad$da1be6e0$49d285ce@default>

Jr. High School Locker Partners,

Ed K. reminded us:

>One more awful band nobody's mentioned:
>Huey Lewis and the News.

Not to posit any type of theory that the New Family Friendly Las Vegas is by
any means a hot bed of great musical's Las Vegas fer cryin out
loud!  "AKI, a Showgirl for the 21st Century!" But, the truly amazing thing
which will cause you to drive knitting needles into your ears and eyes is
that these cones of vanilla to this very day ask, and *get* on an all too
regular basis, premium ticket prices at various Las Vegas strip casino

Wes "...and I saw an Ambrosia gig for the price of  a G&T." Hanks


Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 23:37:42 EDT
Subject: Byrds of a feather...
Message-ID: <>

Ed said:

> One more awful band nobody's mentioned:
>  Huey Lewis and the News.
>  Maybe everyone just suppressed the traumatic memory of their horrible
>  garbage, I don't know. I'd be really surprised if anyone leaped to their
>  defence, but then again...

I wouldn't leap to their defense re: their songs. The band did (as Clover) do
a credible job backing Elvis Costello on My Aim is True. Additionally, Huey
Lewis helped Nick Lowe score a minor hit by producing I Knew the Bride (When
She Used To Rock'n' Roll).

Eb gibber gabbered

Artists who peaked with their first album? Creatively or commercially? In
any case, ...The Byrds?

Granted their first album is a great album but they made albums equaled the
first one in terms of songwriting. I actually prefer their second album
(particularly since they had more creative input---they didn't even play on
their first single!).


Date: 26 Jul 00 13:55:01 AES
Subject: What would I do?
Message-ID: <>

The entity know as "vee tube" asked in Chalkhills #204; as usual, apropos of
nothing particularly coherent:

>>What would YOU!DO?!?!?!?!?!?!<<

1)  I would find out what drugs you're taking; and
2)  Avoid said drugs like the plague.

And my question is:  Are there any other readers on this list who simply
cannot understand what the bloomin' heck "vee tube" is on about most of the

Oh well, as long as he/she/it is having fun, I suppose it's no big deal.


Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 08:32:37 -0500
Subject: Re: In defense of rap
Message-ID: <>

I have a few strands from Digests 6-204 and 205 that I'm going to try and
weave together here.

In #6-205 Ol' Granpa, AKA KINGSTUNES, took an unnecessary shot at rap
>What happens with rap?   I repeat:  What happens with rap??
>Where's the fucking SONG?  HMMMM?

Now I love songs as much as the next guy, and I agree that people need
them, but why can't rap co-exist and be appreciated?  I am a rap fan, and
while not too into the misogynistic or violent side of it, I do appreciate
the art of it.  Just because it doesn't speak to your experience or ear for
music doesn't mean it has no validity. And I'm not talking about the Puff
Daddy / Will Smith variety.  I'm talking Public Enemy, Beastie Boys, De La
Soul, Tupac, and P.M. Dawn.

On that last note, Eb, in #6-204, included P.M. Dawn in a list of artists
that peaked with their first album.  I have to disagree here.  I think
their last two blow the first out of the water.  Granted, they aren't
really rap anymore.  Some of you open-minded people on the list should
check out their "Dearest Christian..." album.  One reviewer called it the
"Pet Sounds of hip-hop".  The loose theme of it is a father writing songs
to his child, and it is by turns beautiful, sharp, and devastating.

Finally, because belated is better than nothing, my alien mothership disks,
chosen to suit the changing moods that come along with abduction:

1.  Miles Davis "Kind of Blue", for when I'm feeling cooler than everyone
2.  Til' Tuesday "Everything's Different Now", for whenever I feel lovelorn
3.  Public Enemy "Fear of a Black Planet", for whenever I feel angry
4.  XTC  "Nonsuch", to calm me down
5.  Beatles "The Beatles", as a catch-all (besides, Revolution #9 would
drive the aliens nuts)

I'd also try to find a way to smuggle Beach Boys "Pet Sounds", Elton John
"Tumbleweed Connection", and something by the Carpenters.  Anyone care to
start a discussion on the latter?



Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 08:03:07 EDT
Subject: Barking Mad
Message-ID: <>

 Rory wrote:
... where I work
there are a number of young-ish people who I am
attempting to teach to use an analytical software
programme. They're coming on in leaps and bounds on
the programming, but whenever I set them a problem to
solve without giving specific instructions on how to
solve it, it seems they're totally lost. Is it just me
or is the capacity to think for oneself steadily being
removed by our education system?

Or am I barking mad?


Nope, you're not barking mad. Same on this side of the pond. I've worked in
college PR in Washington, D.C. for 5 years now (2nd or 3rd career?), and I
have noticed that the ability to "figure it out" is declining dramatically -
generally speaking. I've seen students simply stop their quest if the answer
is not at their fingertips. Not laziness so much as the attitude "what do I
do NOW? Eh? Eh? Eh?"

Then there are those tender young gems (I hope my profs thought I was one of
them, but I remember being as dense as stone occasionally) who not only can
"figure it out," but who are a pleasure to work with. I know! I know! I've
met them! Some even know XTC!

It's a 1000 Umbrellas Day in D.C....

Annamarie "I'm Finally Listening to Big Express" DeCarlo

P.S. My 5 month odyssey into XTC is at a fever pitch, and I'm actually
recognizing John Relph's lyric lines at the end of "administravia."
Scare-eee. Boom Chaka Laka. Oops, that's Sly Stone ...


Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 09:04:03 -0500
From: chris vreeland <>
Subject: Huey, the Unmentionable
Message-ID: <>

>From: Ed Kedzierski
>Subject: One more stinky

>One more awful band nobody's mentioned:
>Huey Lewis and the News.

In Australia, before they began importing women, many men were
prosecuted for what was only referred to as "the unmentionable act."

I posit the Mr. Luey and his Huey Deweys are one such unmentionable
act, and therefore, you risk Chalkhills persecution.  Carry on at your
peril, sir.

>Maybe everyone just suppressed the traumatic memory of their horrible
>garbage, I don't know. I'd be really surprised if anyone leaped to
>their defense, but then again...

You've induced Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in me, and will hear from
my lawyer accordingly.

Not a chance in hell anyone will risk embarrassment by standing up to
defend that utter waste of magnetic tape. (okay, Dom, prove me wrong)

Best wishes,

Chris "It's hip to be sick" Vreeland


Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 12:53:41 +0100
From: Tim Harris <>
Subject: Those G&C albums in full , in full
Message-ID: <>

Between Ismism and History Mix is Birds of Prey (c 1983) which featured
a pre-released single Save A Mountain for Me
the last I'm aware of is Goodbye Blue Sky (1988).
Lol Creme went on (possibly) to produce/direct an obscure film - I dont
remember its title and have never seen it/heard of it since reading
about it in the pre-production publicity. His name's cropped up again
within the last year as part of an Art of Noise album about (I think)

Tim Harris


Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 06:31:01 -0500
From: "Christopher R. Coolidge" <>
Subject: Re: River of Samples
Message-ID: <l03130301b5a47ba986b0@[]>

>And where did Andy get those sounds for "River of Orchids" anyways?  Did he
>sample them off one of his old records? Buy them on a sample disc?  Unless
>he sat and recorded a string section and a bassoon playing those exact
>riffs,  he is no different from a rap producer in that regard, taking
>pre-existing sounds, melodies and rhythms and coming up with something
>new.  Does anyone know where he got those sounds from?

  He sat and recorded a string section and a bassoon playing those exact
riffs. He later sampled them so he could drop them where he wanted to into
the song in progress, but that is a live string section and bassoon, as it
is on the other tracks that use orchestration.

Christopher R. Coolidge

"A Great law protects me from the government. The Bill of rights has
10 GREAT laws.  A Good law protects me from you.  Laws against murder,
theft, assault and the like are good laws.  A Poor law attempts to
protect me from myself."  - Unknown


Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 09:48:09 +0100
From: "Smith, David" <>
Subject: Why I oughtta . . .
Message-ID: <>

I shouldn't rise to this but . . . Mike wrote about the, frankly,
spiteful review of Nonsuch:

"That's the best description of Nonsuch I've ever read.  And I still
love that album, but that's the painful truth."

Yeah - IN BIZARRO WORLD where YOU live!

Sorry, I just have to have some sort of reposte when one of my
"Alien Top Five" is dismissed in such a manner. I feel much
better now.

Victor Rocha asked about comedy albums. Whilst I generally
find listening to comedy much less rewarding than watching it
being performed, I will allow you one name: Bill Hicks.

Deb, this bottle of Beck's at your barbecue. Beck's what? And
does he want it back?



Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 10:28:19 +0100
From: "Smith, David" <>
Subject: Let's get maudlin
Message-ID: <>

In the vein of Seasons in the Sun, Tom Kingston cites Alone
Again (Naturally) as another contender for "turn that sh*t off"

I found myself "strangely torn" (ouch!) when thinking about that
one. Sure, Gilbert O'Sullivan wrote some cringeworthy songs, but
(going back to the Pilot thread) they were perfect pop songs for
their times (the early 70s).

While I wouldn't want to listen to any of his stuff more than once
in a (dang da dang da dang) blue moon, I particularly like the
totally overdone self-pity in Alone Again (Natch). Come on, how
about this for an opening stanza:

In a little while from now
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top
Will hurl myself right off . . .


Standing in a church, in the lurch
With people saying
My God that's tough, she stood him up
No point in us remaining
Might as well go home
As I did on my own . . .

Yuck, you might think. But go back and look at the words used - "sour",
"treat myself", "hurl" etc. There's a real black humour in this song. This
man is positively ENJOYING his self pity! He's revelling in being left at
the altar. Brilliant stuff in my humble wotsits . .

And, BTW, I don't know whether this will register in the US of A, but
most of my British chums may recognise:

"With your cute little ways
Won't you promise that you'll save
Yooouuuuuur . . . ."

Fill in the rest and barf!



"I found my teenage heartache
Here right next door to my dreams
This movie ends tomorrow
I need a new movie queen"


Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 06:21:18 -0500
From: "Christopher R. Coolidge" <>
Subject: Re: This Evil Song
Message-ID: <l03130300b5a479860652@[]>

>All this jawin' about the worst song of the 70's has conjured up some lyrics
>from, what may be THE most wretched of all pop smears from that decade..  it
>goes something like this-
>"my name is Michael(?), when we get married, we're going to have a baby or
>two.. we're going to let them visit their grandma, that's what we're going
>to do.."  it may be a girl's name in place of Michael, but Michael is in
>some of the verses..
>Either way, what is the name of this evil song, and why, oh why is it inside
>my head?
>the tortured Debora Brown

  "Playground In My Mind," Clint Holmes. I had a friend in camp who used to
sing his own twisted lyrics to that one concerning Raven Wheeler, this girl
he had a crush on.

Christopher R. Coolidge

Homepage at


Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 08:01:43 -0700
From: Peter Fitzpatrick <>
Subject: <off topic> of Jeff, George & Macca & George..and Ringo
Message-ID: <B9B4268C8F87D11195DC0000F840FABE12AF799D@DUB-MSG-02>

being a long time Beatle fan I figured I'd weigh in with what I understand
to be the reason(s) why & how Jeff Lynne came to be the producer of the
'threetles' songs.

First up, George Martin has been suffering from hearing loss for some time
(I've witnessed this at first hand), not as a result of abuse but more a
case of old age catching up with him. He quite rightly didn't do the gig.

Jeff & George have been working together for nigh on 15 years. George H.
suggested Jeff. At first Macca wasn't so sure but was convinced it would be
ok (my source - a guy who has met and spoken with Macca numerous
times....and it tallies with the interviews Macca gave at the time [fancy
that ! Macca telling the truth in an interview !])

George H and Macca were happy enough with Jeff's production - a fact
evidenced by Paul's use of Jeff during the Flaming Pie sessions.
Another factor that is often overlooked is Jeff's understanding of recording
technology and his hiring of someone (whose name escapes me right now...he
was interviewed on this very topic in Keyboard magazine) to use Studio
Vision Pro and ProTools hardware to take Lennon's demo  and try to put some
sort of structure, timing, clarity to it. When George H. and Macca heard the
resulting work they then decided they could in fact go ahead and work with
that raw tape (Lennon's unique sense of rhythm included...)

Fans (like me) weren't happy for various reasons I couldn't begin to
list...for me I wasn't happy because it reminded me how much they missed

Now..back to XTC...TodayFM ( have been playing 'In
Another Life' quite a lot on "Pet Sounds". It's a national commercial
station here in go to their website and request it !


End of Chalkhills Digest #6-209

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