Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #6-189

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 6, Number 189

                   Sunday, 16 July 2000


               Re: Thank Goodness for VCRs
                 Re: The Voice of Shaggy
                   Re: Smite Smote ...
        I was walking down the street one day....
                 Re: Stupidly stupid idea
          i would have made this instrumental...
           i can't think of another band today
                       RE: Abducted
                     Partridge on VH1
    Re: Joe Hartley has no Hart - the obvious rebuttal
            random thoughts from the South Bay
                standing in for joe easter
          Abducted By Molly And The Wonderstuff.
                      Clean Up Time
                    martian abduction
                 Andy gets shafted again!
                       Re: Abducted
                  Roll Over John Lennon
                      I know I know


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I'm running steady, oh so steady, so safe and sound I could drown.


Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 20:36:18 -0700 (PDT)
From: Molly Fanton <>
Subject: Re: Thank Goodness for VCRs
Message-ID: <>

Well, I should have looked at the VH1 web site before
I set my VCR yesterday.  I was so bummed when I found
out that it wasn't on at 11pm.  But thank goodness
that it'll be on July 19th.  What little I saw of the
show, Andy was in his prime. :)


AIM Name: MFanton00
Fave Quote: "If your flight is going rough, your soul will lead you to
the nearest exit" - Jump - XTC (A. Partridge)


Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 21:44:04 -0700 (PDT)
From: John Relph <>
Subject: Re: The Voice of Shaggy
Message-ID: <>

Tyler Hewitt <> wrote:
>Play safe-it wasn't that long ago that Casey Kasem
>fucked over Negativland...

I was under the impression that it was Island Records that was
responsible for that.  And that SST bowed to Island's legal prowess.
It was also my impression that Casey Kasem was remarkably silent in
the matter.  Am I wrong?

	-- John


Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 21:46:22 -0700 (PDT)
From: John Relph <>
Subject: Re: Smite Smote ...
Message-ID: <>

Natalie Jacobs <> writes:
>Apologies for the self-promotion.  I hope I won't be smited/smote/smitten by
>Mr. Relph too severely.

Just what I need, someone else severely smitten by me.  Not that I'm
complaining, mind you.

	-- John


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 01:59:15 EDT
Subject: I was walking down the street one day....
Message-ID: <>


Re: Chicago...Joe Easter & Ed K. are bummin' me out here.  Time for the
boxing gloves.  Now, listen, I like you guys, but you need some
straightening out on Chicago.  First of all, there are TWO Chicagos.  The
Chicago up to and including Chicago VII, and the Chicago from Chicago VIII
to Chicago drekum infinitum.  Everything you guys are saying is true -
about the second Chicago.  The first group did manage some pretty damn good
music (inspite of their lyrics, which always walked the tightrope of
cringe).  Then the poor little Lambs lost their way in the land of gag me
with pop.  Maybe the "horn band" thing ain't yer bag (do you hate the early
BS&T as well?  I think think their 1st two albums are classics!)  Early
Chicago exhibited some fabulous musicianship.  They were not hacks when it
came to playing and arranging.  Give them SOME credit.  To dis them as one
of the worst bands ever is only reasonable in light of their eighties pop
barffery and their sophmoric lyricism.  Of course, that's like the Medved
brothers anointing Richard Burton the worst actor of all time on the
premise that for every great performance he gave, he did twenty that bit
the big one.  I'm just a sayin' here, they weren't always THAT bad.

Oh, and Dunks, the dreaded Cetera monster was with them from the start.
You're no doubt confusing his presence with his ascendence as the primary
voice in Choke - gago MK II.

(Cue up Mick):  PAYPLE, PAYPLE!!!   What about the SHAGGS!!!!???  No one's
picking up on this?  Hello????  Or don't they count?

In reply to first-timer Jani Sallinen (welcome!) - you're idea for a
Stupidly Happy video is great.  However, it's already been done.  Anyone
remember the video for Between The Lines by Phil "Why haven't I done an
album with Pete Cetera or Kenny G" Collins, from Face Value?  It had Phil
playing air versions of all the instruments.  Quite clever, really, untill
he realized he was quite clever and proceeded to stop being clever in his
earnest attempts to be clever.

NEW THREAD ATTEMPT:  Third person XTC.  Like this:  He-e-e-e-e-e-e-e's the
man who murdered love.  Yeah, whadda they think to that?

Tom "Bummerrrrr" Kingston

"What is the voice of song, when the world lacks the ear of taste?"
-Nathaniel Hawthorne


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 16:18:34 +1000
From: "Clifford Smith" <>
Subject: Re: Stupidly stupid idea
Message-ID: <000901bfee24$82737020$290ffea9@dracon>

In reply to:
<<The idea is stupidly simple, really: air-guitar-vaganza! Grab your video
camera, put it on a stand, press REC, assume the position and let it rip!
I'm pretty sure there must be quite a few decent air-guitar players among
us who could show the world that XTC is the real reason tennis rackets
were made. What the hell, if you're too coy, go on and lure your kid to do
some of that magic instead of you. And Andy could do a cameo. Some
enterprising soul could edit the whole thing together and the end result
would undoubtedly be cheap, charming, and heart-warming in a
Spike-Jonze-kind-of-way. So whaddya think?>>

Hehe, the idea has already been taken by a Band down here in Australia. They
did something similar in their song "Chunky Chunky Air Guitar" (funny that,


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 08:21:15 -0400
From: "Daniel Phipps" <>
Subject: i would have made this instrumental...
Message-ID: <002801bfee57$2cc47060$a78c04d8@pavilion>

...but the words got in the way!

hey all...

out of delurk mode for a moment to let everyone know something
that they're already well aware of --

"WASP STAR..." ROCKS!!!!!!!  :-D

it's absolutely the best thing xtc's put out since "english settlement"
(my personal fave!!)...these guys do NOT disappoint, that's for

...and you *have* to admire andy's abiding the downright annoyance
of those accompanying kids on the panel of his appearance on vh1's
"the list."  i mean, we *are* talking 5-year-olds here whose attention
span TOTALS five minutes for them altogether!!  andy blew me away
when his first selection was sinatra's "my way."  (you go, andy, my man!!
"old blue teeth" indeed!  LMAO!).....but the speed-freak chick sitting
next to him just kept going on and on and on and on got a bit annoying,
you know?  ....."but he's a, he's a LEGEND!!  he's a LEGEND!!"  (made
me just want to look her straight in the eye and say, "shut the fuck up!!")
but then andy mentions "stairway to heaven" next!!  jesus!!  i thought the
audience was gonna crucify him right there on the spot, but you know
something?  he's absolutely right -- this is NOT one of zeppelin's best
tunes!!  they did a hell of a lot better material than this track.  it's
just one
of many...plain and simple.

but i digress...

andy's a lot like ringo -- you *gotta* love him!!  :-)

(...and we do!!!)

get out there and buy "wasp star..."  keep these boys fed!!

back into delurk...and still waiting for warbles that are fuzzy!


/dan & ginger phipps <>

"right here in this moment is right where
 i'm meant to be..."  (edwin mccain)


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 09:43:23 EDT
Subject: i can't think of another band today
Message-ID: <>

Oh- the satiric mask of genuine emotion - ever so new.  and it would be
very nice to have each selection with no lyrics.  they stand alone, don't
they with these men - lyrics/music.  attraction lies(2) in eyes, no ears.
and i like hearing about bands people like and "the first time I heard XTC"
stories (mine is the most bittersweet).  "to take one chord... and make
everything work from that" ( badly misquoted but could whoever, please,
tell me that site once more - so worthy of my steely fridge ) to the magic
synthesis and hot, so hot, happy TEXASS (we're trying to evolve - we don't
all want to be that way) days/daze.  in hideously euphoric giddidom - it's
the heat, it must be - Felicia Young Cruse


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 10:29:16 -0700 (PDT)
From: Tyler Hewitt <>
Subject: RE: Abducted
Message-ID: <>

>Ok, here's the scenario. You're being abducted by kindly
>aliens from a galaxy far, far, away. You are told to bring 5
>music CD's with you .  What are they?

They are metallic, circular discs that hold digitized sound.


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 10:49:44 -0700 (PDT)
From: Brown <>
Subject: Partridge on VH1
Message-ID: <>

It was good to see Mr. P. on the tube.  As expected, Andy was the least
featured, but he did look quite lovely in his lavender/tan ensemble.

A high point-  Andy attempting to lead the bewildered studio audience in an
air guitar rendition of 'Stairway To Heaven'.

A low point-  When my husband said, "Andy looks a bit like Truman Capote,
doesn't he?"

Debora Brown

"An example from the monkey: The higher it climbs, the more you see of its
behind."-Saint Bonaventure


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 14:28:11 -0400 (EDT)
From: Joe Hartley <>
Subject: Re: Joe Hartley has no Hart - the obvious rebuttal
Message-ID: <>

> From: Molly Fanton <>
> Joe Hartley quipped:
> <<So I now look for the TVT label - and avoid those
> disks.  I just wish
> our lads could have found a company with half a
> clue as to how to make a
> decent website.>>
> Oh I love it when people say this.  So what you're
> basically saying is that if XTC released anymore stuff
> on TVT you wouldn't buy it.

I very likely would, but XTC is the only band on the roster
to rise above my distaste not only for the website, but for
the company's attitude in general towards the website.
A quote from TVT's response to my email:

> Try the site on a new pentium PC or a I-Mac
> with a Cable, DSL or T1 connection. It hums.

Implied in that is "You don't have a high bandwidth
connection and all the stuff we want you to load?  Tough

Really, all I want is a link on the top page that says
something like "Click here if our Javascript doesn't
let you in."  The lack of a particular plugin, or the
failure of a Javascript because you use a browser other
than Netscape or IE (or in my case, having a firewall
which identifies itself as a different browser), shouldn't
lock you out of a website.  You may not get all the bells
and whistles (and horns, in TVT's case), but you should
still be able to navigate the site.

>  Well, I think you're a sad, sad man.

Whew...  See the end of the post for my response.

>  Why don't you get a PC or Mac instead
> of using UNIX.  I never saw the meaning of UNIX.  Most
> programs don't use UNIX.  Why don't you get into the
> modern age, Joe and get a freaking PC or Mac.  You
> won't get anywhere with UNIX.

I make an excellent living with Unix, thank you very much.
You may never see computers besides the desktop machines
you do your Internet chats on, but behind the scenes, Unix
machines run more web and mail servers than NT or Mac machines.

I *have* a PC, which I use for music production and gaming.
While it's on my home LAN, I rarely use it for Internet
access.  I spend most of my time on the Sun, since it works
better interfacing with the machines I make my living from
than the PC.  At work, my current project runs on HP-UX.  I
have no choice over that platform.  The whole idea of the Web
was to be a platform-independent way of presenting hyperlinked
information.  Websites that throw that wonderful interoperability
away bother me.  My opinion, though one not formed in a vacuum.

> I think
> people who complain about not getting into the web
> site shouldn't have the right to complain, because
> they can easliy download Flash and the other required
> programs.

Your ignorance is showing, then.  The Flash plugins are
not available for the majority of operating systems I
use on a daily basis (HP-UX, SunOS and the version of Solaris
the database backend runs on).  If it was, I would install
them.  I'm not doing without them to be masochistic.

> And if you're
> worried about your computer crashing well then you
> should think about getting a new computer with more
> memory.

Well, Unix systems rarely crash completely.  In the case
I mentioned, the crash was just of the browser and that was
avoided by upgrading Netscape for HP-UX 10.20 from 4.6 to 4.73,
but I still can't get past TVT's front page without the Flash
plugin, despite the fact that much of the content can be viewed
without Flash.

Re: "You're a sad, sad man":
Thanks a lot for the ad hominem attacks.  I find it interesting
that you call me sad over the choice of computer I use at work
and at home (often the two coincide).  You may think that everyone
should be in lockstep with respect to computers and their operating
systems; fine.  Using that as a springboard to malign a person's
character is out of line.


Folks, this is the last response I'll make on the topic unless
someone else wants to impugn my character over my opinions on
commercial website design.  I've been on the ARPAnet/Internet for
over twenty years and professionally involved with it for almost
ten, five of which were spent owning and running an ISP.  I
approached this discussion having some experience in the field,
only to find myself not in a discussion of the merits of making a
website as accessible as possible to a business's potential customers,
but defending attacks on my character.  It's just not worth the

       Joe Hartley - UNIX/network Consultant -
     12 Emma G Lane, Narragansett, RI  02882 - vox 401.782.9042
Without deviation from the norm, "progress" is not possible. - FZappa


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 13:34:18 EDT
Subject: random thoughts from the South Bay
Message-ID: <>

Mike writes:

<< How about a new list:  Bands That Were Once Great But Now Suck

 Obvious choice - The Beach Boys. >>

Yes. The current Mike Love version of the Beach Boys suck. Ok, they've
sucked for a long while. Just don't group what Brian Wilson's doing now
with the Beach Boys (mmm kay?).  He's made an astounding comeback.

As for worst groups ever, I'd have to pick Starship & Night Ranger as two
of the most Godawful acts I've ever heard. Yucky. Bad. Wretch.

XTC content: If ITMWML has done this well as a single on "adult
alternative" charts, I really feel confident that "Stupidly Happy" can go
even further. It sounds like the feel-good song of the summer. Toe-tappin',
head-bobbin' fun.

BTW, Casey Kasem was great last night. He really wore me out.

Carson, Ca


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 13:12:57 -0600
From: "Joseph Easter" <>
Subject: standing in for joe easter
Message-ID: <000701bfee90$cce4a0e0$48821c3f@default>

Hello all, Randy of the Redwoods here. You might remember me from MTV fame,
back in the day. Or if not, maybe you remember the Freedom Rock Commercial
of a decade ago. I was the guy who said, "Hey, man, is that freedom rock?
Well turn it up, dude!!!" That was me.

Mr. Easter has been relatively concerned with the happenings here on the
ChalkBoard, so he has asked me to "new school" you on the merits of what
being an XtC fan *really* means. It seems that an odd bunch of you, what
shall we call you, ah yes, right wing gun toting pinkos, need to totally
chill out and think about what some of this music is saying. Perhaps you
are confused.

XtC is a hippie band. Sorry to say it, but people who listen to XtC usually
do so at the "higher" altitudes, so to speak. Imagine this, you are in
Sequoia Nat'l Park and everyone is groovin' out by the campfire listening
to the Dukes, passing a bowl (of hummus), and just completely diggin' to
the sweet, sweet sounds of the boys making love to the octaves. Just then,
a doe and her fawn disturb your bliss and ask, "Have you seen any

"Have we seen any martians?!! Yes way, dude! We saw some of those leroys
just tugging away coming up the mountain in a tye dye Vanagon! They asked
me if we had some rolling papers, and I said, 'Rolling papers are for
phonies!  Try some of this!' I whipped out the 5 foot bong filled with
Southern Comfort and thought they would be like, appreciative and shit, but
they just said, "If you're going to use a bong, why not use this?"

We hollowed out the inside of a fallen redwood (how *did* you think I got
my name?) and proceeded to toke until the moon rose out of the east and we
enjoyed the last remnants of an Indian summer out on Moro Rock. I was just
wiggin' out on the Martians 'fros and all, when I thought, "Damn, if there
wasn't a new XtC album to listen to!"

So like, the Martians were *completely* reading my thoughts! Abe (that was
the shorter Martian) had just finished drinking the SoCo out of the old
bong and said, "Dude! I was just thinking the same freaking thing! Far out,
bro!"  And he proceeded to slide me a copy of Apple Venus Vol.1. He told me
it had been out for awhile, but I've been kind of out of it and all, and so
it was a complete surprise to me. I mean, it took me a week just to open
the case to Oranges. The artwork just kept freakin' me out man!

I noticed the younger fawn was engrossed in my story. So engrossed in fact,
that he did not notice that my buddy Melvin started using the fawn's
sphincter as (yes, you guessed it) a bong. The mama doe wasn't phased at
all and even commented that she liked to use old tree stumps and apples
(and oranges and lemons) as well as 1976 Toyota Corollas for bongs. You
learn something new everyday, I guess.

I am digressing. Point is, XtC jewel cases make pretty good bongs. So, why
doesn't everyone just completely chill out and like, love each other and
shit (not necessarily in *any* order) and listen to the lyrics and like,
completely harmonize with the men? XtC is for hippies, dudes! Like,
understand that and all, man. If you are so intent on constructing and
deconstructing the musical structure of the boys, maybe your weed is a
little wacky and you need to go organic.

Completely off the subject, Joseph Easter did not put me up to this. He
just has mentioned in passing that certain people don't know how to take a
joke.  Or make a joke. And that if we all quit taking everything so
seriously, we might just make it after all (inject Mary Tyler Moore.) If
you've got a beef with me, Randy of the Redwoods, you can find me in any of
a number of abandoned southern Cal. Aquaducts awaiting my MTV residuals.

In for Joe...

That's another thing! What's up with nicking the man's name?! The boy's
parent given name is Joseph, dammit! Joseph Dammit Easter, III! What's
wrong with you people.

Standing in for Jo(don't call me Joe) seph (ilus) Easter, III:

Randall Jerry Redwood (of the Redwoods)

PS XtC Rocks!


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 15:28:57 -0400 (EDT)
From: Radios In Motion <>
Subject: Abducted By Molly And The Wonderstuff.
Message-ID: <384427567.963689339727.JavaMail.root@web186-iw>

First let me get this out of my system.  As Molly said

"I think people who complain about not getting into the web site shouldn't
have the right to complain"

Maybe if your a conservative fascist its ok to believe that no one has the
right to complain, but we sure as hell do.  Complaining, no matter how many
people it offends, gets things done.  The site sucks, period.  I am not
running Linux or Unix 'YET'.  What I do have is a 700MGHZ AMD with 256 MB
Ram, 200 Gigs of space, win98se, 128 Bit AGP ATI VC, I have flash,
shockwave, director, and most everything macromedia puts out.  I have a
damn good system and I still don't like the site!  A site should be
accessible to most computers.  If someone is building a personal site, they
should build it for their audience, but a label should build a cross
platform site.  Its not that much work and I know there are better web
designers than me on this list who can vouch for that!  Plus, as I said,
little shockwave drums are not that cool!

Its also funny watching you yell at other people for complaining,
considering your average post is "no one likes me, you all are a bunch of
mean people, boo hoo, no one showed up for my listening party.

It's harsh, but true.

Second, WONDERSTUFF ARE WHAT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!??!
Please give, give, give, give me, more, more, more info, I am a big fan.
Where did you find this out?

So if I was abducted what would I bring with me.  That is really a tough
one.  If I could chose, I would pick 5: 80 Minute CD compilations made by
me, if not, well here is what I would bring:

XTC: Drums & Wires.
Oingo Boingo: Alive (would that count as 2?  If so, I guess Good For Your
Frank Zappa: Strictly Commercial
Camper Van Beethoven: Key Lime Pie (god that is tough!)
Robyn Hitchcock: Greatest Hits

Why did you not give us a choice of 10?  If it was 10, here are the other 5.

Cracker: Garage D'Or (please' don't count that as 2!)
Wonderstuff: 8 Legged Grove Machine
Pixies: Surfer Rosa
Public Image Limited: Happy

It would be a tough coice, but off the top of my head, that is what I would


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 13:07:22 -0700 (PDT)
From: Al LaCarte <>
Subject: Clean Up Time
Message-ID: <>


WTDK said:

>I've always liked the raw emotion of his playing.
It's not technically good,<

John was an excellent guitar player; that's him on
"Get Back," "I Feel Fine," and many other Beatle
songs.  He wasn't flashy, but his playing was
meticulous, clean, and tasteful. He was known for his
writing, his singing and his stinging wit, but he was
also an fine musician as well.



Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 13:33:42 -0600
From: "Joseph Easter" <>
Subject: martian abduction
Message-ID: <002101bfee93$968401a0$48821c3f@default>

I forgot to mention this, but after the Martians and me smoked up, we took
off for awhile to Eros, the planet of Luv. They already had the entire XtC
music catalogue, so they asked me to bring something new. But there wasn't
alot of room, so I just grabbed 5 discs from my van. Here they go...

(in no order, like, duh.)

Abbey Road, (I forget the band's name.)
Living With the Law, Chris Whitley
Songs in the Key of Life, Stevie Wonder
On Every Street, Dire Straits
Bitches Brew, Miles (mother fuckin') Davis

They worked pretty well for about six months, and then I wished I had
included more 2 cd sets. Ah well, live and learn...

Randall Jerry Redwood (Nabisco)


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 12:48:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: pancho artecona <>
Subject: Andy gets shafted again!
Message-ID: <>

The List

As always, disregard if this has been said. I have to
admit that i have been doing an awful lot of scrolling
down these days. Must be getting older or something.

Did anyone notice that Andy's winning choice "Rock and
Roll (Part 2) was omitted form the closing credits and
replaced by that Mambo #5 Song? I'd think VH-I was
probably thinking of their demographic even in the
closing credits.....nefarious bastards.

I guess if I had a teenage daughter.....he must have
scored lots of points with Holly (the Foo Lover). That
panelist girl's voice was almost as annoying as Sarah
MaClaughan or whatever her yodeling name is,
crackingly pretty vapid as well (as
opposed to the poetic Sarah of course lest some of you
get offended).

I'm still sticking with The Bloody Stools for my
band's name. After all, 'I'm in Health Care'.



Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 10:39:02 -0700 (PDT)
From: Tyler Hewitt <>
Subject: Re: Abducted
Message-ID: <>

>Ok, here's the scenario. You're being abducted by kindly
>aliens from a galaxy far, far, away. You are told to bring 5
>music CD's with you .  What are they?

Actually, that scenario is discussed in the book
'Godel, Escher, Bach' by Douglas R. Hofstadter (a book
that you all should read anyways). In the book, you
are asked to imagine that aliens land in your
backyard, and you want to play them some music
(assuming that they have a concept of music).
Hofstater's point is that playing them something like
Bach would be appropriate, while something by John
Cage would not. This isn't a commentary on Cage's
work, merely a realization that having a full
understanding of what Cage did requires a familiarity
with western musical tradition. In other words, you
can't understand the subversive and revolutionary
aspects of Cage if you have no idea what he was
revolting against.


Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 13:16:51 -0700 (PDT)
From: Al LaCarte <>
Subject: Roll Over John Lennon
Message-ID: <>


I said:

>>I'm still recovering from the Elo-ified renditions of
>>"Free As A Bird" and "Real Love" erroneously
>>attributed to "The Bealtes" and placed on the "The
>>Anthology" collections.

= Derek = responded :

>Aw, come on now... I think Paul, George and Ringo are
big boys now and weren't just roped into being session
lackeys for Jeff Lynne's mad production experiment. I
mean, if Sir Paul can have an entire run
of Anthology 2 scrapped just so his first track comes
after one (instead of three) Lennon numbers, I bet he
could have had Lynne sacked.<

Indeed.  I never meant to imply otherwise. It was
without a doubt the most distasteful thing they did
since the infamous "Butcher Cover."



Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 20:49:51 +0100
From: Belinda Blanchard <>
Subject: I know I know
Message-ID: <>

David wrote of my writing of Dunks writing:

"Hey Belinda, the 10cc thing. Now I'm probably missing the double
irony bit here, but I THINK Dunks was joking when he referred to them
as 3rd rate. Maybe you realised that and were joking back in the
spirit etc"
YES I WAS but he missed it and his response was pretty mean!
Like that runed my day.
Sorry - that should read
That ruined MY day.
Even my response about it to Harrison yes yes but it just doesn't
always work.

Did anyone get the irony and rudeness and fun in the mere written b/w
words as typed in the London Live interview I transcribed? Of course!
But then you (think you) KNOW Andy and it's easier to imagine/feel how
he is saying stuff.

Back to a good night on the telly.


End of Chalkhills Digest #6-189

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