Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #6-172

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 6, Number 172

                  Saturday, 17 June 2000


                       Dodgy Lyrics
                 Re: Richard Thompson &c
             Case for "Stupidly Happy" single
                   Welcome to the Hill
       Lovely, lovely, black and shiney (WS vinyl)
                     Re: Off The Air
                   Re: Holy Sh*t Batman
          "Stella!! Can't you hear me yell-ah?!"
                  Yazbek: Movin' On Up!
                       Chat format
           Phil Collins(noooo! not agaiiiiin!)
                      Re: South Park
             TVT and the mysterious bonus CD
                         The Cult


I will be on vacation during the week of June 18.  Chalkhills will be
off the air during that week.  Enjoy your time off!

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    The views expressed herein are those of the individual authors.

    Chalkhills is compiled with Digest 3.7b (John Relph <>).

So we're working every hour that God made / So we can fly away.


Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 21:51:38 +0100 (BST)
From: Rory Wilsher <>
Subject: Dodgy Lyrics
Message-ID: <>

Ed K listed:

"A few other songs whose questionable ethics have gone
unexposed for far too long"

I think, and this is just from one album (more to
follow, gluttons for punishment!), that the whole of
Nonsuch qualifies here. I submit:

Peter Pumpkinhead: Showing the Vatican what gold's for
is all very well, but you are risking a
hyper-inflationary spiral and economic meltdown.

My Bird Performs: Whilst keeping birds in cages for
our amusement obviously appals, I want to know why
you've eaten 1,000 (Cheshire) cats! You're surely
spending far too much time in the worst kind of

Dear Madam Barnum: "your safety net just walked out"
-- words fail me. The Circus Performers Union will be
in touch. In all probability you will lose your circus

Humble Daisy: Obviously plantist.

The Smartest Monkeys: Outrageous slight on gorillas
and chimpanzees.

The Disappointed: All congregating at your house? How
big is your house, exactly--risk of suffocation and
trampling, surely? Are all the fire exits marked
(there appear to be millions invited to this event)?
What about parking for all those buses?

Holly Up On Poppy: I ask you! Baking girls (beautiful
or not) is plain wrong. Who are you? Hannibal Lecter?

Crocodile: the risks of crocodiles nesting in your
head have been pointed out in numerous public health
commercials and I don't intend to rehearse them here.

Rook: Ability to answer already noted. Other
unreasonable demands of avians include ability to
decipher semaphore, and messages written on the base
of clouds.

Omnibus: Inhaling hallucinatory gases whilst in
control of a public transport vehicle is in
contravention of health and safety regulations. And
where are the blue-skinned girls? Don't we have quotas
for these?

That Wave: "I flew down to the bottom of the sea"--
how, exactly? Planes don't work underwater. "I swam
down to the bottom of the sky" -- refer previous

Then She Appeared: OK, stumped on this one. The only
phrase I can pick on is "Apple Venus". What do these
words mean? Who uses this phrase in ordinary

War Dance: Resurrecting Churchill is a bad idea  he's
been dead about 30 years, so apart from the obvious
health risk, he's bound to pong a bit.

Wrapped In Grey: Not much to say on this one, except
that standing up naked and grinning should be regarded
as an entirely PRIVATE hobby. (-and please close the

The Ugly Underneath: NEVER wash down the truth with a
glass of lemonade. It creates a reaction in the
stomach that can cause ulcers, cancer, AIDS, and
Labour governments.

Bungalow: Big Issue! Big Issue!

Books Are Burning: Major fire hazard. Do NOT try this
at home! Burning books is the cause of 41% of home
fires in the UK.

Bonus track (full analysis of Skylarking to follow,
unless (a) I get totally flamed, (4) I get totally
bored, (xii) everyone else beats me to it:

That's Really Super, Supergirl: Don't you realise that
changing all the world's weather is a major cause of
global warming?

Boy, I enjoyed that!

Rory "A reduction in the price of beer would actually
be quite welcome" Wilsher


Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 14:09:12 -0600
Subject: Re: Richard Thompson &c
Message-ID: <>

To Ed K. who asks about Richard Thompson releases to seek out - there
are an awful lot of good ones out there, but I have a few personal
faves. "Rumour and Sigh" is a great RT record. It has examples of his
bitter balladeering (Why Must I Plead, or God Loves a Drunk), his
playful wit (Don't Sit On My Jimmy Shands), and a good balance of his
electric and acoustic guitar playing. The man's had a long career, and
there are lots of eras to choose from, however, and this is a fairly
recent ('91 or so) example. He also has a three-disc set out, and if
you're willing to pony up the big bucks for "Watching the Dark," it's
well worth it. This set gives you a little taste of the whole story.

Also, I wonder if Andy Partridge and Kate Bush could set up some kind
of home/away series, where each one produces a solo record by the
other. I'd like to hear what kind of luscious things she'd do to his
angular tunes, while he could give her the rough edges she so surely

Today it's about 90 degrees Fahrenheit here in Denver, and WS sure
sounds great pouring out of my car's speakers as I tool down the



"seagulls screaming"


Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 14:37:29 -0700
From: Ed Kedzierski <>
Subject: Case for "Stupidly Happy" single
Message-ID: <>

A lot of people have been saying that "Stupidly Happy" should be the next
Well, here's a little story that should help prove that...

Last weekend, I picked up a friend who lives near me to drive across town to
some other friends who were having people over. Now this guy is my oldest
friend (since we were about 5 or 6) and we've been through many musical
phases together, but he's been somewhat unresponsive to my raving ever since
I went through a somewhat unrelenting year-long Kinks phase when I was 19;
he's now a bit paranoid that I'll become unbearable whenever I seem to like
a band too much (even though these days I'm very sensitive about subjecting
people to hard sell conversion attempts, largely as a result of that same
Kinks phase...).
So even though he's admitted to liking several songs, his attitude is
generally "Ed, you and your damn XTC! It's too much!" (I'm sure many of you
out there have heard something similar.)
Of course, WS has been in my car tape deck almost non-stop lately, and by
the time we arrived at our other friend's place, "Stupidly Happy" was about
two thirds of the way through.
At the end of the evening, I'm giving him a lift back to our end of town, I
start the car, pop the tape back in, and "Stupidly Happy" resumes playing...
"Ed! I could kill you!"
"This is the fucking song that's been stuck in my head all evening! I
couldn't figure out what it was! Damn you!"

I just gave an evil cackle in response.

"If they hear it, it will stick"
Ed K.


Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 18:02:20 EDT
Subject: Welcome to the Hill
Message-ID: <>


Greetings and welcome to the list.

I enjoyed reading your post...especially the bit about the goodies you've
acquired.  I didn't know your sheetmusic existed.

If you wanna see what I've acquired over the years, make sure you don't have
food in your mouth 'cause it's gonna make your jaw drop, click on my trade

Again, welcome.



Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 16:32:18 +0000
From: d-erelict <>
Subject: Lovely, lovely, black and shiney (WS vinyl)
Message-ID: <>
Organization: d-mentia!<>

> From: "Jerry Kaelin" <>
> Subject: Wasp Star on Vinyl?
> Is "the album" out on vinyl?  Where might one purchase it? Thanks.
> Jerry Kaelin / Chicago

Well, I'm not sure where _you_ can get it (try somewhere on-line?, but it IS available, as I just picked it up last
night (Waterloo Records, $15.99), and it is BEAUTIFUL! Nice gatefold,
double-record on THICK wax... heavy-duty sleeves with lyrics, etc.
Gatefold art is just a large blowup of the WS pics of A&C, but it looks
really good!

Haven't played it yet (I'll save it for a special occasion, like I did
with my AV vinyl), so no review of the sound quality, but I'm sure it's
Tits... never forget how great River Of Orchids sounded the first time
on vinyl...


(now playing: the new Todd Rundgren)


Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 17:42:52 EDT
Subject: Re: Off The Air
Message-ID: <>

In a message dated 6/15/00 11:37:43 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
<> writes:

<< I will be on vacation during the week of June 18.  Chalkhills will be
 off the air during that week.  Enjoy your time off! >>

Hooray! I can ketchup!


Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 16:21:23 -0700
From: Ed Kedzierski <>
Subject: perspective
Message-ID: <>

In 6-170, Dorothy said:
		And while I'm at it, what's been running through my mind as
I'm reading posts of the 'Wasp-Star-isn't-perfect' variety is:  Boy, what a
spoiled bunch we are! to expect every song to dazzle us.  To me, the XTC
catalogue is a smorgasbord; some of the entrees I have to enjoy, every time;
others I consume now & then; a rare few get sampled rarely.  But I want them
*all* there, and I know that my rarely-sampled's are someone else's
enjoy-always.  Yum!

To which all I can say is: well said! Just look at this body of work we have
to enjoy! People's quibbles over this or that song, sound or texture will
fade with time, just like with every other album (to be revived every now
and then in the natural slag cycle, of course). It will definitely be
someone's favourite, someone else's least favourite, and just about everyone
will have some affection for something on it once it's not the "latest".
It's like some of the "alternate track listing" versions of albums that get
posted. Whenever people start suggesting what could have been left off of
Nonsuch, for instance; we're never, ever all going to agree on exactly which
songs should be on that list in a million years (not to mention the fact
that the real decision was already made almost nine years ago). Same with
the guy who posted a proposed moot track listing for an amalgamated Apple
Venus single album a digest or so ago, and seemed to be assuming that
everyone would agree. Not likely. I mean come on; not a single Colin song?
Lots of us would not agree that his "star" has "fallen." No "River of
Orchids?" Come on!
We all like XTC, but in a lot of ways our ears seem to have come with very
different settings. Some people have called the production on WS "turgid"
and "plastic" and others have called it "raw" and "demo-like". Are either
party right? What are we all hearing? Sure, I've admitted that "Nonsuch"
features my least favourite production job of any XTC album, but it's still
an XTC album, full of songs that I love & that have meaning for me,
regardless of the too-clean (to me) digital sound. Personally, I'm loving
the "simulated analog" sounds on WS, but again, we all seem to hear
different things. It certainly doesn't sound like it's been "sacrificed on
the altar of studio perfection" to me (who said that? It was in the last
digest or two, I'm too lazy to look... I don't hate you, I just don't
agree...) and I don't know how to account for these different responses,
short of resorting to some sort of lame-ass "Whoa! Is, like, the colour I
see as red the same one you see, or do you, like, see what I see as blue and
call it red? Trip me out, man!" type nonsense. Ahem.
No conclusions, no cohesive arguments, I just felt the need to rant a bit
about this until I ran out of steam. Steam gone.
Ed K.


Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 19:43:21 EDT
Subject: Re: Holy Sh*t Batman
Message-ID: <>

Ah, Wes, that would be "bumpa sticka."

And, yes, I would put "We're All Light" on my bumpa ... the Miata's
bumpa, that is (mine's not big enough), right next to my Jimmy Buffett
"parrothead" sticka.

Would that mean I have to change my license plate from "Sunbake" to


Subject: Phil/Moll/Funk/Mark & more

Love Phil's idea for a Stupidly Happy T-shirt, now all I need is a bumper
sticker with the words WE'RE ALL LIGHT plastered across it.  Anyone else
think this is a damn good idea?  I'd put one on my car.


Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 19:37:18 PDT
From: "Duncan Kimball" <>
Subject: "Stella!! Can't you hear me yell-ah?!"
Message-ID: <>

First off -- BIG thanks to Joe Funk for passing on what must be one of the
most savage put-downs I've ever read - one which Kenny G. has so richly
deserved for so long. Hats off, Pat Metheny!

* * *

Replying to David van Wert's post on "moron musicals"


A) This is my last word on the subject

B) I intend no disrespect to Messrs Yazbek, Sondheim, Newman, Bernstein or
anyone else. They have a job to do and they do it well, I guess. I'm just
offering a (strong) opinion.

>It means a hell of a lot of half-watched episodes of The Simpsons and South
>Park >but hey, I've got my principles.  How dare >anyone use song to convey

Less than ideal examples, old son, given that 'South Park' and 'The
Simpsons' are both animated satires. In that context I have no problem with
the musical content, since its presence is inherently satirical. The fact
that characters break into song -- occasionally -- can hardly be said to
disrupt the 'internal reality' of the piece -- since there is none. It's a
cartoon. Anything goes.

(Come on David -- am I seriously expected to entertain the concept of
'internal reality' when discussing a cartoon that features a giant monster
Barbra Streisand being destroyed by Robert Smith of The Cure?)

Personally, I think the Simpsons episode where the Springfield Musical
Society staged its musical version of "A Streetcar Named Desire" is the most
spot-on send-up of the genre since "Springtime For Hitler". (Any of you
Aussie Chalkers out there remember the Aunty Jack Show's delicious Lloyd
Webber sendup, "Tarzan Superape"?)

>What in God's name was Mozart thinking with that Magic Flute thing?

Probably something like: "I hope zis is goingk to make me rich and famouz"

>Why would anyone ever sing what they could just say?

I have absolutely no idea. Honestly. I guess the problem for me is that
musicals require a level of suspension of disbelief I just can't reach. Call
me a pleb, but it just doesn't press my buttons. I can't see it as being
anything but ridiculous. Gilbert and Sullivan, Offenbach, I can more or less
accept, because they're essentially tongue-in-cheek and they have great
music. On the other hand, I find works like "State Fair" or "Carousel"
inherently ridiculous because they work from a fundamentally 'realist'
dramatic premise, against which the constant break-out into songseems
frankly bizarre to me.

Obviously, many among you regard this as the ultimate in Philistinism, but I
stand by my opinion: the basic concept of musical drama just leaves me cold.
Opera, Musical -- I don't care. It's Just Plain Silly.

I'll contradict myself at this point to explain that I do make exceptions.
The one modern "musical" that "worked" for me was the film version of Tommy
- a piece most people revile. Its success lay in the fact that was that it
was SO extreme that the basic stupidity of the concept didn't matter. I
think Ken Russell's treatment of it as a widescreen pop-art cartoon worked
perfectly. (Perverse, ain't I?) I've listened to a LOT of opera, and while
there is amazing music there, I can count on the fingers of one hand the
operas I can bear to sit through, and three of them are by Mozart.

[Several years ago I watched period productions of Cosi, Flute and Don G. by
the Drottningholm Court Orchestra, with various soloists, (including Gilles
Cachemaille, who stands out in my memory as being particularly impressive).
To my surprise, I really enjoyed them. They were funny, high-spirited and
did their best to capture the look, feel and sound of what an 18th century
opera production would have been like. It was the same kind of revelation I
experienced when I first heard period performances of Baroque and early
Classical works by groups like The English Concert, English Baroque Soloists
and Concentus Musicus of Vienna. (If you don't know them - seek them out!!).
Perhaps some of you, like me, you grew up on the stodgy, meat-and-potatoes
European and American recordings of those works made in the 50s and 60s,
with the likes of Sargeant and Stokowski sawing their way manfully through a
Brandenburg Concerto like it was an overcooked Xmas turkey. If so, you'll
hopefully appreciate that, for me, hearing Trevor Pinnock or Nikolaus
Harnoncourt interpreting these works in an historically accurate manner, on
period instruments, was to truly hear them for the first time. Not everyone
thinks so, of course. If I had a dollar for every argument I had with
traditionalist cutomers about period instrument recordings, I'd bloody well
own the record shops I worked for. I won't digress any further on this other
than to say that I greatly prefer such historically informed performances,
if only because the best of them sound like they really MEAN what they're
playing. And for all the admitted magnificence of a Glenn Gould pianoforte
recording of a Bach keyboard piece, the
simple fact is that Bach knew about pianos, he played pianos, and he didn't
like them, so I can't accept piano as being the ideal means to interpret
that music, however beautifully played.]

Back to the fray: maybe it's just a cultural thing? I know that dissing The
Musical is probably one of the larger forms of heresy in America, given that
it is generally credited as a major American art form. But I'm not American,
and The Big Musical is not really that much a part of our cultural heritage.

>And while we're on the subject, what's up with Shakespeare and that iambic
>pentameter contrivance? People don't talk like that! And hey, Moliere,
>people don't rhyme in everyday life.

Yeah, yeah, I'm such a Philistine. It's *all* convention, David. -- I
realise that. You can either accept it or not. Please yourself. I happen to
not accept the Musical convention. I had no problem at all with "The Faerie
Queen" being a verse narrative, but I still think musicals are stupid.

>Okay, honestly, I don't care whether anybody likes musicals.

You could have fooled me.

>but it strikes me as odd to hear an entire form utterly, viciously, and
>repeatedly dismissed for being unrealistic, only to have the same writer
>mere sentences later convey admiration for other works that abandon reality
>just as fully.


>And in the case of the Arabian Nights piece so highly praised, the work
>doesn't even bother to attempt an internally consistent fantasy. Why is
>John Leguizamo
>praised for shattering reality with an anachronistic joke about airplanes
>while Gene Kelly is cursed for singing and dancing in the rain (or milk, in
>reality, not rain-- and not that anyone directly cursed Gene Kelly
>specifically, but the implication remains since it's not "West Side

David, you're drawing a long bow there -- be careful the arrow doesn't fall
out. Is it at all reasonable to compare a TV adaptation of stories from the
"1001 Nights" with a musical melodrama like "The Sound Of Music" or "South

(Re: the Arabian Nights, I hope I can speak with some authority here -- I've
read all four volumes of the best available translation. Sorry but I don't
have them with me so I can't recall the translators, but it was NOT the
bowdlerised Burton version -- it was the first *complete* English
translation, made from the full original French translation of the Arabic
sources, with all the sex, drugs and violence left in).

To be fair, I actually don't know if a thoroughly faithful dramatic version
of the original tales would be possible, or even desirable -- it is after
all a translation of a translation, and being a book of folk tales, there
simply has to be a fair degree of latitude in any attempt to render them as
drama. I was impressed with the Hallmark production, given the obvious
limitations of form (and, with all due respect, the fact that it was made
for Hallmark). It was IMHO a beautiful, inventive production which managed
to interpret the stories creatively without any substantial loss of the
inherent spirit of the piece. As far as I'm concerned, the anachronisms
worked beautifully. It is a very witty script, and it succeeded because --
like Toy Story -- it was not afraid to operate at more than one level,
instead of trying to dumb everything down, Disney-style.

By contrast, let us consider the animated version of Aladdin -- exactly the
kind of trashy, one-dimensional, puerile, sanitised, Americanised nonsense
we have come to expect from The Great Entertainer. Yet another product
straight off the line, punched out to service a market that has been
programmed for generations to accept exactly this kind of drivel. I don't
deny their right to do it, but I reserve my right to think it sucks.

>C'mon, Dunks, this argument of yours holds less water than a Calvin Klein
>model with dysentery.

10 points for that one!! LOL

>What's the real story behind your intense hatred of the form? Andy, Randy,
>Yazbek, and I want to know! Okay, maybe it's just me, but dammit, I want to
>know! Did Julie Andrews touch you "there"? Did she make you climb every
>mountain, ford every stream?

Andy wants to know?? As if. Call me presumptuous, but I can't help thinking
that Andy would find the idea of "The Full Monty" recast as a Broadway
musical as bizarre as I do. Correct me if I'm wrong.

What's at the root of my dislike of musicals? It goes back to childhood I
suppose. I don't blame Julie. (I must say that I was very sad to hear of her
unfortunate voice mishap. No-one deserves that.) I do find 'Sound Of Music'
repugnant, but that's just me. Actually, I blame Disney. Having grown up
with Winnie The Pooh, "The Jungle Book" and "The Once and Future King", I
never really recovered from the disgust I experienced when confronted by the
Disneyfied "versions" of these marvellous works. This was my first major
exposure to that strange American impulse that sees nothing wrong in putting
a beautiful and special work through the Cuisinart, and mincing a bunch of
songs into the
story simply in order to make it digestable for The American Audience. I've
never understood it and I don't like it. It strikes me as a singularly crass
form of cultural imperialism. Anglophile? Hardly. I love a lot of things
about America. This just happens not to be one of them.

Tangent: a bizarre aspect of this peculiarly Hollyweird attitude was
beautifully expressed by one of the people responisble for Disney's
"Dinosaur" -- I just heard this guy tell an interviewer that they wanted
" get inside the heads of the dinosaurs, to really understand them" ...

Give me strength ...

Where was I? Oh yes ... Whatever the merits (or otherwise) of having such
quintessentially English works boiled down into middle-brow, middle-American
pabulum, there remains the basic question that will mystify me to my dying
day: why WOULD anyone want to turn something as magical as "The Jungle Book"
into a lumpen American animated musical?? What *is* this weird imperative
that drives people to
appropriate something like "The Full Monty", which speaks so disctinctively
of another culture, and turn it into what is -- for me -- the dramatic
equivalent of a Elvis portrait on a velvet cushion?

The only answer apparent to me is that the makers of these entertainments
know that they stand to make a whole bunch of money selling this stuff to
audiences so thoroughly indoctrinated by commercial Yankee mass culture that

A) can't tolerate any form of entertainment that isn't voiced with American

B) can't endure any narrative that doesn't have a song -- or an
advertisement -- rammed into it every five minutes, and

C) can't comprehend anything doesn't have a happy ending, with the
obligatory scenes of people laughing and slapping each other on the back,
and/or saluting the flag.

>If you spill about this, I'll spill about why I >despise the band Journey.

I'm all ears, but luckily they never made an impact here in Australia, and
frankly I wouldn't know a Journey song from a hole in the ground -- so I
guess that's a demon you'll have to wrestle on your own. Sorry.



Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 21:07:01 -0400
From: Ben Gott/Loquacious Music <>
Subject: Yazbek: Movin' On Up!
Message-ID: <>


Yazbek was mentioned -- quite favorably -- in today's _New York
Times_.  The name of the article is "Out West, Giving the Musical Some
Pop."  The article profiles three musicals that have recently opened
in Southern Cali.


"Out West, Giving the Musical Some Pop"
by Bruce Weber


Wow, huh?  Go, Yazbek!  We all knew you before...!

I'm in the middle of tape 1 of Robert Altman's "Short Cuts."  This
scene features Tom Waits and Lily Tomlin, and it's friggin' awesome.
What a great film.


      Benjamin Gott . Loquacious Music . Salisbury, CT 06068
AIM: Plan4Nigel . Tel: (860) 435-9726 .
   People all over the world / Join hands / Start a love train.


Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 08:38:20 -0500
From: "Christopher R. Coolidge" <>
Subject: Chat format
Message-ID: <l03130300b56e8a81c517@[]>

>Well, I guess the listening party has been canceled,
>because of me nobody wants to come.  Thanks a lot for
>hurting my feelings, but wait I'm not suppoed to have
>hurt feelings when somebody basically says "nobody
>likes you".  I guess that's the way it's going to be
>for the rest of my life.  People hate me for the
>things I say.  I was having fun with the listening
>parties, even though there were only a few there.  So
>to Derek (Minerworks) and the others you can to the
>listening parties without me.  I don't want to be at a
>place where I'm not wanted.

  For what it's worth, I don't enjoy the chat format, I find it about as
fun as chasing parked cars. Nothing to do with you in my case. The other
problem is most of my XTC collection is on vinyl,(my turntable is in a
different room from the computer, meaning I have to really crank it to hear
it, which really bothers my wife and neighbors) with the exception of
Nonsuch on cassette and Rag&Bone Buffet and the Apple Venuses on CD. I may
give it a try anyway sometime though, so don't give up just yet. I don't
like smoky bars either, but that's where bands I like often play, so if I
really like a band or songwriter, I'd consider seeing them in a shoebox in
the middle of the road.

Christopher R. Coolidge

Homepage at


Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 22:29:54 -0500
From: "Christopher R. Coolidge" <>
Subject: Phil Collins(noooo! not agaiiiiin!)
Message-ID: <l03130300b56f4cb87433@[]>

>>From: "Mark Strijbos" <>
>>Subject: Getting Closer
>>I'm starting to get worried as it seems you're all closing in on me:
>><snip> Think again: which crime would be almost perfectly shielded by >an
>>all-consuming passion for all things related to XTC ?
>Holy shit! You're Phil Collins!!!

  NO, I'm Phil Collins, and so is my wife! :-) A friend of mine talked me
into attending a Russian Orthodox church service with him the other day,
the service itself was a lot more meaningful than the pompous Anglican
services I grew up on, though their customs seemed wonderfully
archaic(which I guess is what makes them Orthodox). Anyway, I got talking
with one of the deacons after the service and happened to mention that
instead of going straight onto graduate work in comparitive religion after
graduating from college I pursued my other dream, which was to form a
band(which I did in the late 80's). To which he said something like "as
what, a Phil Collins impersonator?" I got accused of looking like Phil
Collins at least once in college, but these days I got quite a bit more
hair than him still. The nose still fits, though. I didn't know whether to
be flattered or insulted. I chose to at least pretend to be flattered,
since I figured it would be bad form to deck someone in church.
  Besides, I don't even play drums, and I definitely don't sing like him;
more like David Byrne during allergy season. I do have a friend in
Greenfield, MA, who's a dead ringer for the young Andy Partridge. I saw a
photo of Andy at about the age of 18 in Song Stories, and we're talking
seperated at birth, folks; Andy and Chris Barnard.

Christopher R. Coolidge

"A Great law protects me from the government. The Bill of rights has
10 GREAT laws.  A Good law protects me from you.  Laws against murder,
theft, assault and the like are good laws.  A Poor law attempts to
protect me from myself."  - Unknown


Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 08:42:28 -0500
From: "Christopher R. Coolidge" <>
Subject: Re: South Park
Message-ID: <l03130301b56e8d176083@[]>

>That said, I liked Andy's songs better and hope they become available
>someday, though copyright to the Dahl estate (or whomever...) may
>forbid the association with that story. But why such creative
>luminaries as Partridge, Newman, and Yazbek would waste their
>precious time with musicals is beyond me. Honestly! What's next, a
>South Park musical?!

  Yes, with chorus lines of construction-paper children singing "Uncle
Fucker."  You Canadians are all alike, with your beady eyes and
flapping heads!  :-) Actually, the South Park movie was practically a
musical anyway.

Christopher R. Coolidge


Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2000 09:57:00 +0100
From: "Smith, David" <>
Subject: TVT and the mysterious bonus CD
Message-ID: <>

Starting a "hopefully" more polite strain re the bonus demo CD, I'd like
to ask the good gents at TVT why, when I bought Wasp Star, no-one
at the shop I got it at even MENTIONED a bonus CD?

I was shocked and annoyed when I - like many others - found out about
its existence from my fellow Chalkhillers. Consequently, I HAVE
downloaded the MP3s as it seems right now that this is the only way
I'll ever get to hear them.

I'm quite happy to delete them again if you would deign to let me know how
I can get the bonus CD I am entitled to.

Yours hoping we can have a long smoochy dance without squidging each
other's toes.


>>"Hey guys, why don't we do the show right here in the barn?"

>>"Because it's shit!"

>>"Well if you're going to take THAT sort of attitude . . ."


Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2000 11:42:07 +0100
From: Belinda Blanchard <>
Message-ID: <>

"You heard it here first" section.

Just to prove even further that London town is the BEST
most exciting town in the world at the moment, what
with the Globe and the Tate and the waving bridge and
the Eye and the FUN and the MORE fun,  I just heard
that snotty stupid ignorant twat Robert Elms play what
he said was the new single I'M THE MAN WHO MURDERED
LOVE (I hate using the ITMWML initials cos I have to
spent time thinking what they refer to - which FWIW is
IMHO highly annoying)

THEN - and are you ready - write this down -

he said that

XTC are appearing on the Gary Crowley show on BBC Radio
London Live 94.9fm on Tuesday 20th June at 10.00pm till

At least I think that's what he said(!)

Mark? You haven't been home in three nights. Where you

Love from Belinda


Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2000 08:17:18 -0500
From: Joe Funk <>
Subject: The Cult
Message-ID: <>

Greetings Chalklings!

Seems no one could answer my "burning" English quiz question:
What is the longest 4-letter word in the English Language?


Anyway, I should give it more time, but it seems that "Wasp Star" is not
going to big the big seller I predicted.....
Let's face it folks....  This brand of sophisticated Pop is just not for
everybody.  The masses out there "Just Don't Get It!!".  Like the old
Timothy Leary
saying: "You can't use rocket fuel in Volkswagen engines!"  I really
wish the guys financial success...I really do!  But in my own little
selfish way I am
proud to be one of the "Elite XTC Cult Members".  (I'm off to Heaven's
Gate next!).  All kidding aside, XTC fans are the best!!  I am a member
of 4 or 5
other lists (most of them for grins), and you folks are the greatest,
hands down!  Some of my Progger friends don't understand what I see in
XTC..  And I really can't explain it to them.  There is something so
"Touchable" in their music, but once you touch it.. your not sure what
your touching, but it feels GREAT!!  See what I mean...
I cannot explain it!

Oh well.

.....Harrison:  You are a trip!!  We need to get that musical produced
in a hurry!  What are you gonna call it? -  "The Remote Possibilities of

Joe "Hand me some more Ghoul Aid" Funk
Arbitrary Self Promotion:  You can hear a small snippet of one my band's
songs (sans drummer) at:
Joseph Funk
Engineering Maintenance Supervisor
Semiconductor Services
Austin, Texas


End of Chalkhills Digest #6-172

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