Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #6-170

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 6, Number 170

                  Thursday, 15 June 2000


           There's gonna be no dancing 'till...
                  Cliched Musicals?!??!
         RE: Oranges and Lemons Special Edition?
                  got me MOJO working...
               Orchid Show attended by A&C?
                   Standing In For Joe
                "The Demos made me do it!"
XTC "Hedge"d again; "Awww, there's ALWAYS room for JELL-O"!
                     In Another Life
                   Wasp Star on Vinyl?
                  Stupidly Happy T-Shirt
                     Everything's OK.
                XtC lauded on national TV
                 RT Starter kit question
     Why XTC fans should care about Stephen Sondheim
                  surviving the new wave
      various attempts to address too many things...


I will be on vacation during the week of June 18.  Chalkhills will be
off the air during that week.  Enjoy your time off!

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    The views expressed herein are those of the individual authors.

    Chalkhills is compiled with Digest 3.7b (John Relph <>).

Well, let me tell you about my girlie.


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 10:58:41 -0400
From: Paul Burgess <>
Subject: There's gonna be no dancing 'till...
Message-ID: <v04220818b56d4849a123@[]>

In response to the message below which was posted to the list yesterday.

1) We gave the single away for free.  We still have some available
with purchase of the CD from our site.  This was to give fans more
value for the buck and to discourage the burning of CD's for which
the artist is not paid their deserved royalty.

2) Many fans endeavored to purchase the Wasp Star album with the
bonus CD and are enjoying those rare tracks. XTC and TVT are
considering offering the tracks from the bonus CD for download. In
the meantime check the site for some cool interview footage with Andy
& Colin.

Thank you for the invitation to dance but your not our type.

From: "vee tube" <>
>Subject: An open letter to TVT (Part two)!Free Demos (F'k TVT!) MP3s!
>      A short while ago I made a simple request of TVT,
>1. Let me GIVE YOU $$$$ for the 'bonus' single CD!
>2. Let us (Chalkhiller's) down MP3s from your P.O.S web-site.
>                  Time's Up!
>ITMWML & It didn't hurt a bit(demos) are now available, FREE!!!
>            Dear TVT; FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!
>            Wanna dance? Come and get me!


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 12:57:32 EDT
Subject: Cliched Musicals?!??!
Message-ID: <>

>From: "Duncan Kimball" <>
>Subject: Cliched Musicals

> However I must applaud your use of the word
>"bibulous", which I believe is a first for Chalkhills.

Search on the word in the Chalkhills Archives confirms honors for First
Use of "bibulous" goes to the innominate Mr. "Easter." Fuck, I need a

>So ... who are you really? He's on
the left. A credit to his social class.

(Shitfire! Just noticed: The Pussy's playing the 9:30 Club on the 27th!
C'mon! Who's with me?!?!?! Only good thing that goddamned TVT website ever
did was to turn me on to the magnificence that is the Nashville Pussy....)


 From the upcoming new entertainment extravaganza, "He Fed Me a Straight
Line, Ma!"....

(Street scene, Gay Nineties San Francisco, Fisherman's Wharf, hoopskirts
and bowler hats, grinning teamsters fly by on unpaved streets, drays laden
with barrels, crates, whatever Props can credibly laden drays with. The
Old Hoofer (David Niven) leads Young Master Dunks (Mark Lester) through
the bewildering dusty confusion...)

Young Master Dunks:

>Maybe it's a cultural thing, but as soon as the
>talking stops and the singing starts I reach for
>the remote. It just doesn't make sense. Why WOULD
>anyone start singing?

Hoofer: Well, Dunks, old fruit, sit yourself down on this conveniently
keylit hogshead and let The Old Hoofer explain it for you (orchestra up,
main musical motif plays, ending on expectant dominant-seventh chord)....

[spoken] In times like these, when things are rough
Can't even buy a vowel [tink! tonk!]
Temptation is to cry Enough!
And just throw in the towel! [blonk!]

It's then you've got to show some spine
(Chest out, posture erected!)
Free yourself from that drab salt-mine
[sung] Eeeeexpect the Unexpehe-he-he-hecteeeeeeeeeed....


(Crowd silent, all eyes on The Hoofer, awaiting his next words)

You've got to SING SING SING when the action slows down!
SING SING SING when you caaaaaaaan!
The crowd down in the orchestra is waiting for you, boy!
That crazy limelight's shining on you, man!

Crowd: Hoo-RAY!

Hoofer: You've got to SING SING SING 'cos it's a MUSICAL!
The title says it all, now, don't you see?
The punters paid a mint to watch you musically sprint
 From Da Capo all the blessed way through Do Re Mi!

You've got to SING SING SING 'cos it's the thing to do!
SING SING SING as though you've flipped!
There's no avoiding it, you know, it's off to Terpsichore we go
'Cos that's...what' old....scriiiiiiiiiipt!

All: Sing, sing, sing, sing! (repeat, aurifluously)

(The key modulates up a whole-step, preparing for the huge, breathtakingly
expensive production number, led by the Hoofer with bamboo cane, soft-shoe
lead, swippity-dip, swippity-dip, k-shunk, k-shunk, teamsters leap out of
drays and do Cossack dances across barrelheads, the Silver Dollar Saloon
debouches thirty naughty ladies in petticoats and stockings for a spirited
can-can across the soundstage, a cameo fan-dance from Audrey Hepburn with
a parasol and Very Little Else, sixteen rootin', tootin' types stage a
mock gun-battle while chimney-sweeps tap-dance across the rooftops, the
cheering crowd, throwing hats in the air, lifts The Hoofer and Young
Master Dunks on its shoulders, carries them off to the waiting steamship,
the SS _Mike Todd_, piloted by a bibulous William Bendix, even now
weighing anchor to sail off in pursuit of Captain Nemo and the Mysterious
Idol's Eye....)

Harrison "I know, gang--we could do the show right here, in the old barn!"


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 10:42:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jon Rosenberger <>
Subject: RE: Oranges and Lemons Special Edition?
Message-ID: <>

Help me out, here.  My first XTC purchase was an edition of Oranges
and Lemons which was printed on three CD-3s (ya' know: those little
bitty CDs they tried to get people to buy those first few years of CD

.  ..), all of which came stored in a little box that reminds me of an
eight-track tape package form the 70's.  Does anybody know what I am
talking about?


Sure the 3 3" cd issue of Oranges and Lemons was manufactured in
Austria in 1989 for the UK Release of the LP. Not sure how many of them
were produced but they are hardly rare. Your local record shop might
not have a copy but many, many shops on the Internet still sell these.
They are also regularly auctioned off on ebay.

I would estimate the current price to be between $8-$15 depending on



PS The other fan who responded to this and said she had a whole box of
stuff she would like to know how to get rid of...


This is the classified section on Chalkhiils. You can email John and he
willl list the stuff for a month for ya, gratis. You gotta love that
Relph, what a guy!!!


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 18:58:01 +0100
From: "chris browning" <>
Subject: got me MOJO working...
Message-ID: <000401bfd62b$3f6fe9e0$650a883e@pbncomputer>

new MOJO issue alert!

andy partridge is in "last night an album changed my life" with "trout mask
replica". wonderful interview - much recommended!

and leave off molly! as the boys say "so what you will but harm none" - got

ta ta



Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 14:31:33 -0400
From: "Chao, Tom" <>
Subject: Orchid Show attended by A&C?
Message-ID: <691FAA3183B8D2119BD60008C7565BB2014F69C7@HCUS_NY04>

Hello, everyone!  Hello, John!  I have been away from Chalkhills for a long
time because I have given up on all music except for that of Bill Bruford
and so I have become a Crim-head.

I just spoke to the Kitchen box office and the dude said that Andy and Colin
are supposed to attend "The Orchid Show" but he said that Neta Pulvermacher
(I'll bet she does, too) would NOT reveal which show they were attending.
So who knows which show they'll be at so I can buy my ticket?  I'm not that
keen on attending but if the lads will be know me, I'm a
performance artist, not a dancer.

BTW, the new Crimson disc (sans Broof) came out on the same day as Wasp Star
here in the US!
Tom X. Chao


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 21:10:24 +0100 (BST)
From: Rory Wilsher <>
Subject: Standing In For Joe
Message-ID: <>

Meaningless conjecture, but it made sense at the time.
. .

Way back in 6-162 (all of 5 days ago!), Nicole said
about Standing In For Joe:

"Hey, I don't think Standing in for Joe was meant to
be lighthearted. Perhaps I'll write more detail on
this, but right now I must get back to work so I'll
shorten it. I'll merely state that I think you all
need to listen to what is said and what is not stated
in Colin's songs. What is not stated is purposely not
stated. He keeps the wording to a minimum. He's making
you think a bit. Think, for chrissake!"

What we know: Narrator ("N") slept with Girl ("G")
whilst Joe was "out of town".

What we don't know, but can guess at:

Scenario 1:

OK, N is Joe's best friend. He describes G as "his
girl"  to me this implies a relationship of longer
than 2 weeks. It's likely, therefore, that N & G
(hell, let's give them names: Nigel springs to mind,
and how about Gillian (Jillion?)) have met before.
Now, as soon as Joe leaves town (for a few days, a
week, longer?) Gillian is on Nigel like a shot!
Consider "Who could resist her tender charms"; sounds
to me like Gillian is seducing Nigel rather than the
other way round  and how many guys can resist a woman
who is blatantly coming on to them? (Be honest now!)
The number of people required to tango is greater than

And why is Nigel seeing Gillian in the first place?
Because she gets so "restless". Read "horny". Wouldn't
surprise me if Joe and Gillian cooked up the whole
plan between them, with Nigel as the innocent victim
(surely they weren't making plans for him???), with
all the guilt that comes with screwing your best
friends' girlfriend, when his only real purpose (as
far as Joe and Gillian are concerned) is stand-in
penis from someone they trust (as opposed to Gillian
going out and picking up strangers in bars).

Scenario 2:

Para 1 from above applies.

This relationship is going bad. They're about to split
up anyway. Does Nigel know this? Perhaps, perhaps not.
So, imagine the conversation chez Joe/Gillian, the
night before Joe leaves:

"What are you going to do while I'm away?"
"Oh, I don't know. Wouldn't mind going out, but I
don't know anyone who's available at such short
notice. . . except maybe your friend Joe?"
"Yeah, that's a good idea  I'll give him a call

Like I say, it made sense at the time!

Now, I know this site is subscribed to by some of the
finest creative minds in the known universe, so let's
hear your alternative scenarios!

Rory "I said I'd trust you with my LIFE. Not my WIFE!"


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 15:25:31 -0400 (EDT)
From: Dorothy Spirito <spiritod@TECHMAIL.GDC.COM>
Subject: "The Demos made me do it!"
Message-ID: <Pine.SOL.4.00.10006141504570.9079-100000@esun2028>

OK; I've heard enough.  I'd better chime in and state categorically that
the demos did *not* ruin WS for *me*.  In fact, when I heard the finished
versions of "Playground", "We're All Light", and TWATM, I was so
jaw-droppingly stunned all I could say was, "Wow!," repeatedly.

WAL and TWATM didn't do anything for me, in demo form.  In their polished
completeness, WAL gives me delicious tingles and TWATM makes me -- oh,
right; I already mentioned this part in a previous post.  <g>

Going from the demos to WS makes me feel like Dorothy Gale going from
perceiving in monochrome, to technicolor.  Or like I'm somehow lifting
myself off the page and seeing in the extra dimension.

To borrow a quote:  "It *sparkles*!"

And while I'm at it, what's been running through my mind as I'm reading
posts of the 'Wasp-Star-isn't-perfect' variety is:  Boy, what a spoiled
bunch we are! to expect every song to dazzle us.  To me, the XTC catalogue
is a smorgasbord; some of the entrees I have to enjoy, every time; others
I consume now & then; a rare few get sampled rarely.  But I want them
*all* there, and I know that my rarely-sampled's are someone else's
enjoy-always.  Yum!

(Avid collector of *all* songs XTC -- released or not.)


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 16:15:54 -0400
From: "Stephanie Takeshita" <>
Subject: XTC "Hedge"d again; "Awww, there's ALWAYS room for JELL-O"!
Message-ID: <>

Hi, everyone!

Thanks to KINGSTUNES for his link to the Philly City Paper.  Some of you
doubtless already read the write-up of the Tom Lehrer box set (which
includes mucho bio info), which concludes with this tantalizing bit:

     Did you know Lehrer went to summer camp with Stephen Sondheim? Were
     you aware that while working for the Defense Department in the 1950s,
     Lehrer helped develop* the Jell-O vodka shot??

And, as the French would say, et voila: the
cultural connection ring.

And for some really hideous recipies, cookbook illustrations, etc. from
decades past, with an emphasis on '50s JELL-O[TM] cuisine, check out "The
Gallery of Regrettable Food":

Which reminds me of an old thread: who should be the voice of Zippy the
Pinhead?  I nominate Jello Biafra....

And our friend behind the comic strip "Over the Hedge" has been at his
nefarious near-subliminal XTC references again!  Check out your yellowing
6/10 papers....  the gang's in the hot tub, and "Wasp Star" is leaning
against the tub, along with a CD boombox, Pink Floyd's "Meddle" and
something else.  Well, I can vouchsafe that at least one of those LPs is

My Q. to Messers Fry and Lewis: does R.J. the racoon sit on the hot tub
jet?  I somehow think he would...  And if your suburban menagerie was to
imbibe anything of dubious propriety, other than Twinkies, Ring-Dings, and
Coco-Puffs, wouldn't JELL-O shots be just perfect?  They could be sitting
there in a tray alongside the CDs, although R.J. would have to keep them
out of toddler Clara's grasping little hands.  A tray of frosty rum-runners
would also work nicely, esp. in the big Sunday supplements.... ummm, all
those magenta ink pixels, yumm!

Then again, what was Socrates executed for?  "Corrupting the young"!  Now,
sirs, do you like your hemlock neat or on ice?

"And Socrates himself/Was permanently pissed..."
Xtra XTC content:  Andy's liver.


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 16:36:40 EDT
Subject: In Another Life
Message-ID: <>

This was a fun tune to play along with.

I can't quite place what effects were used on the drums and percussion, but I
decided to use mallets throughout most of the tune, since back beats in 4/4
time on either the floor tom or the kick bass drum were employed throughout
most of the song; and just for shits and giggles, I flipped over the mallets
using the heel end of the sticks during the two bridges, which had GORGEOUS
chord choices and a groovie feel to them.  I added more cymbals than the song
actually has on it, to give it more colour for me; musician's license-giving
the song more beef, even though it didn't really need it.

I really enjoyed this song, and found the lyrics attractively old-fashioned.
A well-balanced, enjoyable little number from Colin.  Nice ballad and
excellent horn work at the bridges too.  Simon Gardner's work on this record
is preciously tonal and had wonderful arrangements!

The counter-point-of-view from Colin is refreshing and the blusey feel to it
definitely made the entire arrangement work, given the order of the songs on
the record.

A fun, straight in 4 time bluesy little number, of which there are far too
few of Colin's songs to hear and appreciate.

Best regards,
John in Chicago


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 17:51:21 -0500
From: "Jerry Kaelin" <>
Subject: Wasp Star on Vinyl?
Message-ID: <>

Is "the album" out on vinyl?  Where might one purchase it? Thanks.

Jerry Kaelin / Chicago
Sorry I missed the gathering at Red Lion


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 18:53:08 -0400
From: "Michael D. Myers" <>
Subject: musicals
Message-ID: <>

Chalksters and Chalkettes;

Just a quick note on the recent "are musicals any good?" thread.  I had a
hard time wondering why Dunks said he hated musicals so much, and then he
gave me the answer in a recent post:

Dunks said:
>Maybe it's a cultural thing, but as soon as the talking stops and the
>singing starts I reach for the remote. It just doesn't make sense. Why
>WOULD anyone start singing?

Dunks, man, what the heck you doing with a remote in your hand?  You can't
really enjoy a musical any place other than the theatre!  It's the whole
experience of live art, music, drama, art, the sets, the book, the whole
experience.  I'm sure I've been to 25 or 30 musicals in either New York or
London over the years, and it's one of the best forms of entertainment I
know of.  I'm not saying that every one has been great, but I can tell you
that almost every one has something fun or powerful to offer.  Just this
past Sunday, I saw a wonderful performance of Pippin.  Do you know the
story?  It's a dark piece about a son of King Charlemagne and his pursuit
of happiness/fulfillment.  Good stuff.  And as to why someone starts
singing, that's just how the art form works.  It's not opera, and it's not
necessarily pop.

XTC content: I have said it once, and I'll say it again: Andy should
consider writing a musical so that he can have yet another outlet for his
huge talent.  Listen to the closing 3 songs on AV1, and you will hear some
music that is on a par (thematically and musically) with the very best in
musical theatre that is being written/performed today.

see ya all,


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 15:13:53 -0600
From: Phil Corless <>
Subject: Stupidly Happy T-Shirt
Message-ID: <>

Now taking orders for.....

The Stupidly Happy t-shirt!!!

Payment deadline is Friday, June 23.

- Phil


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 17:10:24 -0700
From: "William Dell Wisner" <>
Subject: Everything's OK.
Message-ID: <001f01bfd65e$1a7ef120$>

As long as Andy Partridge can write songs like The Wheel And The Maypole
life is worth living.


Date: 15 Jun 00 09:53:04 AES
Subject: XtC lauded on national TV
Message-ID: <>

Hi Chalkizens

There's a funky little quiz show on ABC-TV (Oz) nightly that I enjoy
relaxing with after a heavy day in the office.  Last night, one of the
contestants, Andrew (I failed to catch his surname) gave his interests as
music and surfing the net.  When asked by the quizmaster what his favourite
music is, Andrew replied, "oh, XTC - their last album was great".  This
coming from a chap who looked to be around my age (ie not real young).
Andrew didn't win in the quiz, but the intro was a nice little moment.  I
wonder if he subscribes to Chalkhills?

~~ p @ u l


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 17:09:40 -0700
From: Ed Kedzierski <>
Subject: RT Starter kit question
Message-ID: <>

What with having read about the man (never a negative word) for years, and
hearing heaps of praise about him on this list, I finally decided that I've
taken far too long to get around to checking out Richard Thompson.
Of course, what with there apparently being so many people on this list who
are also fans of his, I thought I could ask you guys the old "where to
start?" question...
Resist the temptation to deplore my ignorance and help me out (I'm
embarrassed enough as it is admitting that I've heard nothing).
If you're such hardcore fans that you can only answer "everything", then try
to take a stab at some sort of "order of importance" list, if you can.
Thanks in advance!

Ed K


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 19:00:10 -0700
From: "Bob Claster" <>
Subject: Why XTC fans should care about Stephen Sondheim
Message-ID: <>

I, too, don't want to try to convince anyone that musicals are wonderful.  I
know they are, but then again, I was brought up being taken to them
regularly, and you either get an "omigod, this is gonna be great" chill
every time you hear the opening measures of the overture to MY FAIR LADY, or
you don't.  I'm rather appalled at what passes for music in what's left of
today's theater, esp. the boring dribblings of Andrew Lloyd-Webber.

However, regardless of how one feels about theater and musicals, anyone who
loves the art and/or craft of songwriting owes it to himself to pay very
careful attention to Stephen Sondheim for the simple reason that he sets the
bar for himself higher than anyone ever has, and than anyone probably ever
will.  By that I mean that he simply doesn't cheat.  His lyrics always scan
perfectly, or he keeps on trying until he finds ones that do.  His rhymes
are always actual rhymes, or he keeps on trying...  He's simply in a league
all his own.

I will admit that his music seems cold at first listen, but there are all
sorts of depths that will reveal themselves on later listening.

Find the video of SWEENEY TODD and have a blast for 2 hours.  It's funny,
it's scary, and it's absolutely brilliant.  If that ain't entertainment, I
don't know what is.

Oh... and by the way, WS is by far my favorite XTC album.

Bob Claster



Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 11:19:55 EST
From: "Iain Murray" <>
Subject: Retraction
Message-ID: <>

Wow, I make a totally innocuous comment about false identities, and suddenly
my inbox is clogged with e-mails from people I've never heard of (as well as
a few people I have) - *26* in all. I never realised I was so popular.

For the record: I'm not really Satanas Diablo, nor am I Charlie Buck. I
never have been. Chances are I never will be. I was only joking.....I'm
actually Andy Partridge (and so's my wife).


"People will always be tempted to wipe their feet on anything with Welcome
written on it" - Me


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 21:44:11 EDT
Subject: surviving the new wave
Message-ID: <>

 To All...
      My brain tends to work backwards on me oft times, bear with me.
  A reminder to everyone: Do not attempt to eat food from a bowl while
sitting directly over your keyboard. The two foods which would seem to come
to mind straight away are soup and cold (or hot) cereal. My mistake tonight
would happen to be rice. It slips into the cracks of the keyboard very
nicely. Also, it camoflauges itself while nestled in between keys. Chameleon
rice. Hey! thats the next album title: Cameleon Rice.
     Would that be the mysterious whispered line in "Boarded Up"?
     Hmmm. Nope, thats a bit of a stretch for Colins' lyrics. If it were an
Andy song I could go along with it though.

    80's music - During the 80's my sister introduced my primitive ears to a
wide range of new music. I am forever grateful. Being that she IS my sister,
she will never hear that from my tongue. With that said, I would like to add
my one 80's band to the list. The Jam. Essentially starting in the 70's, they
left their biggest mark during the early portion of the 1980's. My sister
heard "A Town Called Malice" in National Lampoon's European Vacation. It
would prove to be the only song she approved of , after buying the double
album "Snap!". I on the other hand, snatched it up, held it close to me and
have not let go.
    Switch to a compilation tape.
    Life In The European Theatre - This was released in 1982. It was a
recording which featured the likes of The Jam, The Clash, Peter Gabriel and
more. It was also the first time I had heard a song by some band by the name
of X-T-C? "Living Through Another Cuba". What a fabulous song! The way that
the lyrics were delivered were like nothing I had heard before! Being the
young lad I was, it caught my attention immediately. I've been hooked ever
since. Thank you Andy & Co.!
     Unfortunately I have a cassette of this compilation only, otherwise I
would be willing to share it with others. Hopefully someone else has it and
can find a way to add it to a web site or some such idea.
     When you talk computers, I'm a wee bit lost.

 (looking for my way home)  Nor


Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 18:10:42 -0700
From: Ed Kedzierski <>
Subject: various attempts to address too many things...
Message-ID: <>

So busy lately, so many digests, so many little things to talk about...

First of all, Colin just plain rules (still working on a big "why I think
Colin's so great" post, but that will be a subject of it's own) and that
Colin-slagging post a while back was just plain off. Just have to say that
Kevin Diamond's reply to the slagger hit the nail on the head when he said
(more or less) "so what do you mean by a 'professional' songwriter?" I agree
completely: these days "professional" in terms of songwriting really does
seem to refer to crank-'em-out hacks like Diane "Satan's Twin Sister" Warren
and her ilk.

Not much more to say about musicals, except that obviously I prefer the
comic numbers to the serious ones generally. Dunks said he reaches for the
remote when someone's mouth opens to sing... well, I'd only do that if it
were one of the romantic leads and they were looking longingly up to the sky
or something. If it's a comic relief character whose eyes are bugging out as
they start their number, I'll stick around. Maybe it's just because I
identify enjoying musicals with my childhood.

Thanks to Dunks for the compliment regarding my rambling about production,
especially as we seemed to get off on the wrong foot a while back over the
whole Vonnegut thing. Sorry to hear that Love (the band) didn't quite click
with you; that just happens. I can understand the Dead analogy, I have good
friends who are Deadheads who tried for years to convert me with no success.
For me, I guess the strings, horns and little Bacharachian touches I hear in
Love's music just make all the difference somehow.

Glad someone's talking about Snakefinger... like I said a while back, it's a
disgrace that he's not remembered more; he was the Hendrix of weirdass
(don't tell anyone I put it that way...). The compilation I have is all
stuff he did in collaboration with the Residents (he appeared on a lot of
their albums), so I think the different versions of "Smelly Tongues" you
guys were talking about are actually the same one...

In spite of the fact that there's no way to know if they'll continue the
"album title from previous song lyric" thing (and I can't find anywhere in
the back issues any instances of anyone predicting "Apple Venus")...
Someone suggested "the Cheeky Builders"... why not "the Biggest Pouch?" They
could even revive the original Skylarking design concept with a little
leather covering. (though I guess the title would only be appropriate if it
was a double album...)

Loved the Metheny quote about Kenny G... checked out the link to the web
site, and the thread of messages seems to have gone further; he actually
seems quite stunned to learn how far this quote has gone, seemed a bit
embarrassed and almost contrite & is now getting all sorts of "You go, Pat!
Don't back down! In fact, Kenny G should be KILLED!" messages. Makes Andy's
decision to have nothing to do with this sort of thing seem even wiser. It's
interesting to check out some artist's web sites and see the history of
their message boards/newsletters whatever, where the artist is very involved
for the first several weeks or months, diligently replying to everything,
until they realize that they're spending too much time arguing with fans and
not enough time on their art, and that they don't really have to bother if
they don't want to, the novelty wears off, and their input falls off

People who don't like WS: I'm stumped. I do have counter-arguments to
everything negative that I've read in the last few digests, but I've already
posted them. I won't be so arrogant as to suggest that people comb the back
issues for my crap, but I'm also not up to hammering it all out again. I'll
just say that I disagree, and that I'm not some blindered non-critical
fanboy; if I was as disappointed as you, I'd say so, but I'm not. I love
this album.

The whole absurd business of subjecting "Standing in for Joe" to moral
judgement first had me snorting scornfully, then laughing, then I had an
Why should any other songs be exempt from the purifying white light of
meticulously literal interpretation?
A few other songs whose questionable ethics have gone unexposed for far too

My Bird Performs: can be interpreted to endorse the exploitation of animals
(in this case birds) for entertainment purposes.
Rook: more animal abuse, again involving birds. "Crow, crow, before I let
go..." so not only is he holding this poor creature captive, but he's
refusing to release it until it answers a question, when everyone knows that
crows can't talk? And it's a question that most humans would have trouble
with at that! This guy must be, like, nuts or something!
Respectable Street: Why doesn't he just go and talk to these neighbors,
instead of trashing them in a song? I'm sure a nice chat over tea and
sandwiches would do wonders. (be tactful: "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't
wre-, er... I mean stretch... over our fence quite so much.") It's all about
dialogue, man.
Meccanic Dancing: Alcohol is also an "easy key" to abuse, codependancy and
life-wrenching heartbreak, thank you very much.
Life Begins at the Hop: Title implies that abortion is acceptable right up
until the first dance that the kid (or "hyperdeveloped foetus") attends. How
many of us would have lived past things like the "first discovery of toilet
jokes" phase if that were allowed?
Garden of Earthly Delights: deceptively entices children with the promise of
a life of freedom and infinite possibility, rather than the true fate of
antlike tedium at work and heartbreaking disappointment in our personal
lives that actually awaits us all.
I'd Like That: were one's face to actually crack in two, extensive & painful
reconstructive surgery would be required; kissing would probably just do
more damage.
The Meeting Place: the line "smoke on your breath" is not accompanied by an
explicit disclaimer warning of the dangers of smoking, and could therefore
send the wrong message.

Anybody have any others? (Oh, and if it turns out that I needed to sprinkle
smileys all over the above to make it clear I was joking, I'll be ill.)

Oh, and I think the double (multiple?) negative in "Stupidly Happy" is
throwing people because we're more used to hearing an "ain't" when that kind
of double negative is used in a song.

"Don't dash that pot to the ground - someone else might want it."

Ed K.


End of Chalkhills Digest #6-170

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