Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #6-159

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 6, Number 159

                  Thursday, 8 June 2000


                       that hiccup
         and the wounded horse you rode in on...
               Eye Catching Advertisements
                The Name Of The Man Is...
                        Steely Dan
                      Why I Like XTC
                      Smelly Tongues
                       Re: Hey Joe
                    upsy daisy guitar
               A Little Mouse With Clogs On
                  Re: Boarded Up no more
          Mr. Showbiz PLEADS with music fans...
                     miss conception
         Opinions are like Chalkhills subscribers
                     Stupidly T-Shirt
                   The Greenman melody


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We're enough to make your bald hair curl, man.


Date: Wed, 07 Jun 2000 22:39:43 -0400
From: (Rich Greenham)
Subject: that hiccup
Message-ID: <>

Someone wrote:

"Is it just me or is that "hiccup" on Stupidly Happy actually Andy saying

Yup.  More like "gee-tahhhh" though!



Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 22:59:48 -0600
From: "Joseph Easter" <>
Subject: and the wounded horse you rode in on...
Message-ID: <001301bfd106$600df680$40821c3f@default>

Enough! Some things suck, but that's a good thing. Let me explain...

Depeche Mode has a place. Just like XTC has a place, albeit not nearly as
low as Depeche Mode (which I happen to like). For instance, I wouldn't turn
on XTC for drunken macking with a barely legal doll. It might not make her
Shakespeare Barder. It's no doubt that I am hanging out with the wrong
people, but the old tired songs on the old tired jukeboxes serve a sinister

Los Angeles was created by imbeciles. And for the most part, it's as close
to Southern Hades as you can get on earth. But it serves it's sinister
purpose by keeping the type of people I wish to avoid very far away from me.
Like a magnet for the rude and tasteless. Music is like the same.

You tell alot about a person about what they listen to. Most of the time,
our collections have alot of similar entries. (Most of us guys have similar
entries, too) But it's these little "isms" that define us. So when I see a
copy of Skylarking at someone's house, I know that I have arrived.

Now, I hardly ever see a copy of Skylarking at somebody's house, but there
is always hope. Just because someone listens to Depeche Mode, or even admits
to liking their later "work," doesn't mean they are w/o any merit. Without
most merit, but not all entirely.

It is without doubt or controversy that XTC is the world's best pop band
(next to Flock of Seagulls and Nine Inch Nails) and it is unfortunate that
not everybody can be a part of the experience such as we. But again, not
everyone can be as lucky as us, the dissapointed.

So let's lay. I mean, let's lay aside semantics and realize that this band
in it's evolution has had many different sounds, and will continue to
evolve. There is no "there." There is no point when you see the confluence
of what will be there "masterpiece." Wasp Star is poppy and kind of shallow
in some regards. But I think that maybe the boys wanted a shot at commercial
work to see if they could remain true and still hatch something out of
substance. I think they succeeded and I'm glad I finally have something I
can get my friends to listen to...and of course something to listen to while

I love most XTC albums and songs, but inevitably they will produce something
that sucks (or blows, depending on your tastes or lack thereof). That's
fine. I used to hate Bungalow, but now it kind of haunts me in a sort of
tragic way.

Haters of WaspStar! Listen... This is just another side of XTC. Not a final
side. We can expect that when Colin drops out of the group after the next
album and Andy the album after. I'm sure that most of you are working on a
program for artificial artistic intelligence and crosshatching XTC songs
with James Brown and Cher (God help us) so we don't have to worry about an
end to XTC. We do however need to worry about an end to ourselves...

I'm not sure if my quote will be posted, so I'm posting it again. It's a
good enough quote to be posted twice, anyway.

"When people are confronted with a real work of art, then they discover that
they don't believe what they thought they did all along. In a way, the great
art, the great subversive art, is art that makes you realize that you don't
think what you thought you did."             -David Hare

So, to sum up...

1) Los Angeles sucks.
2) XTC rocks but is capable of sucking.
3) I suck. (figuratively, no phone calls boys)
4) People with closed minds and big egos suck worse than Depeche Mode.
5) DM is good for macking.

Also, it's okay for Colin to be macking with Joe's piece. In this world,
there are (again) people who suck and people who rock. In order to maintain
the Delicate Balance (Get the Balance Right.) you owe it to yourself, and
us, to figure which one of the two you are, and then become the biggest jerk
or coolest fella you possibly can be. And after you mack on my girl, then I
have to become who I really am to maintain the balance. After I murder love,
then you both can enjoy the silence...

Joseph "Smartest Monkey" Easter


Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 18:29:43 +1000
Subject: Eye Catching Advertisements
Message-ID: <>

Trivia Trivia
The Store that I bought my copy of Wasp Star in wasn't just playing
the album as I paid over my dollars. This store, in Parramatta,
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia also has an entire panel of their
front window, almost from pavement to ceiling, set aside advertising
the album. A huge reproduction of the cover and the blurb "Wasp Star
Apple Venus II the long awaited follow up the Apple Venus I."


Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 03:44:31 -0400 (EDT)
From: Radios In Motion <>
Subject: The Name Of The Man Is...
Message-ID: <379821670.960450271885.JavaMail.root@web192-iw>

Sorry to Duncan and everyone else.  Besides to a few of you, I never did
introduce myself!  Everyone, my name Brian.  The reason I use the name
"radios in motion" is that its a song from this favorite group of mine
(shall I give a hint?).  I just think nicknames are better.

To be honest, I wish more of you would use nicknames.  I hate to sound
shallow or anything, but I get confused with all the John's and Wes's and,
well you know what I mean.  So you can call me Brian (I think there are
quite a few Brian's on this list too!) or just Radiosinmotion or whatever
you like (as long as its not insulting!).

At first I used my ebay name (I actually was brought to the list by someone
who bought some of my XTC items on eBay) but the problem with that is that I
felt like it would be wrong to promote my auctions on the list (which if you
look back, I dont think I ever have!)  I like the list to meet people, trade
and just bullshit about XTC and other groups we all enjoy.

Thanks to John for such a great list with a great bunch of XTC fans.   God,
do you realize that the boys are probably pushing 50?!

Harley David, Son of a bitch...
Get on my Harley you daughter of a bitch...
(hey, that was a cool song.. Remember that?!)


Date: Thu, 08 Jun 2000 08:32:58 EDT
From: "Brian Young" <>
Subject: Steely Dan
Message-ID: <>

Hi Chalkers,

I saw Steely Dan play on Tuesday night. Since I've seen a number of posts
regarding their latest album on this list, below is the setlist:

The Boston Rag
Night by Night
Janie Runaway
Black Friday
Daddy don't live in NYC no more
Jack of Speed
Do it again
West of Hollywood


Henry Mancini tune
The royal scam
Deacon Blues
Cousin Dupree
Monkey in your soul
Dirty work
Kid Charlemagne
Don't take me alive


My old school

Anybody care for any further review, e-me.



Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 05:36:36 -0700 (PDT)
From: Molly Fanton <>
Subject: Why I Like XTC
Message-ID: <>

I usually understand sarcasm, like in XTC songs, but
as I repeat again and again on the internet sometimes
it's harder to catch the sarcasm.  I can tell it
better in a person's voice.  How can you tell sarcasm
by a bunch of words if you can't get clues from the
voice?  Oh well, I guess I'm the only one who
sometimes doesn't get the sarcasm.  But I really don't
like people keep picking on me about it either.  But
people always think I'm the fodder of their jokes, but
they don't think of my feelings when they do it.  I'm
never going to be thick skinned like some people, I
guess that's my problem.

Molly's Pages:
My Tribute to Talk Talk & .O.Rang:


Date: Thu, 08 Jun 2000 08:30:49 -0500
From: Joe Funk <>
Subject: Smelly Tongues
Message-ID: <>

Greetings Chalklings!  Wua-isosp?

One of my favorite "Jukebox Annoyances" was at a former restaurant here
in Austin, (coincidentally...where Chris Vreeland once worked),
called "Jalapeno Charlies'".  It was actually a tune I quite liked (goes
for taste): "Smelly Tongues" by Snakefinger.  I would play this, sit
back, and watch the diners squirm in anguish...
Snakefinger...  Pretty interesting stuff..  Anyone out there remember

My apologies to Mr. Duncan Kimball and Mr. Tom Kingston for my
unforgivable post on lengths of posts.  I had forgotten that Satire was
forbidden on this list.

Joe "It's time to brush my tongue" Funk - C.H.A.P.
Joseph Funk
Engineering Maintenance Supervisor
Semiconductor Services
Austin, Texas


Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 07:16:40 -0500
From: "Christopher R. Coolidge" <>
Subject: Re: Hey Joe
Message-ID: <l03130302b5653ecc39f2@[]>

>Hah! Another good point. And another FWIW: "Hey Joe" was written by
>Billy Roberts and first recorded by The Leaves.

  According to the credits on my vinyl copy of Nuggets, Dino Valenti wrote
"Hey Joe." Never heard of Billy Roberts, maybe it's a pseudonym Valenti
used at one point.

Christopher R. Coolidge

Homepage at


Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 18:19:43 +0900
From: "John Boudreau" <>
Subject: upsy daisy guitar
Message-ID: <002c01bfd12e$7f52d920$6e5791d2@johnboud>

Has anybody out there ever wondered what brand/model guitar it is that
Andy is holding in the photo in the inner booklet of " upsy daisy assortment
" ? It is a Hagstrom Futurama II according to the owner .



Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 10:55:18 +0100
From: Lawson Dominic <>
Subject: A Little Mouse With Clogs On
Message-ID: <>

Molly coddled:

>>Molly, who hates defending herself all the time

Don't do it then! Go on, tell 'em all to f*** off....

>>>I prefer TWATMP as an acronym.  Yesterday in
>Parliament anyone?

Yes, I was, thank you very much. No shortage of twat MPs round here mate!

>>two weeks have passed, and the splendid "Wasp Star" still hasn't
emerged on the German Top 100 Album Charts

Yeah, but Iron Maiden are number one in Greece so it's not all bad news....

>>In the
words of Andy Partridge (although HE meant Spandau Ballet): "They were
the worst band in the history of foreverness."

Well, INXS were pretty ****ing dreadful...a piss poor version of late Gang
Of Four in fact, so awful AND sacrilegious...and Spindly Ballet were
uniquely appalling, albeit in a rather charming teatowels-on-heads kinda
way, but the worst band in the history of foreverness is undoubtedly Methods
Of Mayhem, the new band formed by Tommy Lee. I was unlucky enough to witness
these disgraceful arses, gurning and posturing at the Dynamo Festival in
Nijmegen last weekend (birthplace of our very own Mr Thingummijbos). I'm a
metal fan (really Dom? Why not tell us all about it???) so obviously my
taste is a little suspect, but even I couldn't stomach the astounding
shitness of their hopeless attempt at a rock/rap crossover
thing...seriously, it's almost worth going to see them just to remind
yourself why drummers should never be allowed to start their own bands. Mind
you, Chambers Of Mayhem sounds much more appealing.

>>Distortion & noise is something to be used, not stamped out

Hear Hear!!! That's the most sensible thing I think I've ever read on
Chalkhills. Crank it up and split those ear-drums, Ozzydammit!!!

>>I would disagree (the nice thing about this forum is the ability to do

No it isn't.

>>So much better
than hearing "insane in the membrane, insane in the brain". Folks,
there ain't no way to be insane in the membrane - GOD that song
irritates the hell out of me.

Don't listen to it then! It came out over five years ago...I don't see why
you should still be plagued by it now. Of course, you're quite hideously
wrong and Cypress Hill ****ing rule, but bless yer heart anyway! And

>>People who throw their cigarette butts out of the car irritate me. Why
must they do that? I mean, USE THE ASH TRAY. If you didn't get the ash
tray option, then your a schmuck and just rig one up... but don't
friggin cause grass fires or just plain pollute- you're making our
roads look gross. Its just so unnecessary and inconsiderate.

People who drive cars irritate me. Why must they do that? I mean, WALK YOU
LAZY ****!!! If you didn't get the legs option then your (sic) rather
unlucky...but don't run over pedestrians or just plain pollute - you're
making our roads look gross. It's just so unnecessary and inconsiderate.
Bastards. ("Oh, but our country's so big, we simply have to drive
everywhere!"....Yeah? Well f***ing move then!!!!!). Push your jam jar from
the frog and toad, my china plates.

And speaking of "Wasp Star", I'd just like to add my usual unrequested views
on the subject. It's a great album, no question. "Stupidly Happy" is the
blindingly obvious single and anyone who thinks otherwise is a prick.
"Boarded Up" and "Joe" are two of Colin's best, but "In Another Life" is the
only thing remotely like a weak link on the album, and that's largely down
to the lyrics which are just a little bit too cute for my liking. "Wounded
Horse" sounds about as much like Depeche Mode as my arse (although I have
been known to fart a rather splendid version of "Just Can't Get Enough" from
time to time) and I'm bitterly disappointed that no one has picked up on the
homo-erotic subtext of "My Brown Guitar", duh!!! Finally, what sort
of appalling bell-end thinks that the puns in "We're All Light" constitute
bad lyrics??? Are you f***ing mad??? Andy has never claimed to be Oscar
Wilde, Shakespeare or Spike Milligan, despite his obviously gargantuan
gifts, and besides, the puns are both funny and utterly appropriate in the
context of the song. Heads out of rectums, pomposity back in the cupboard
please! No? Well bloody sod you then.

>>Tom (eh, short enough?) Kingston

Dom (no) Lawson


Date: Thu, 08 Jun 2000 15:42:24 +0100
From: Richard Horrocks <>
Subject: Re: Boarded Up no more
Message-ID: <>

I'm not sure about Swindon, but here in (fairly nearby) Oxford, during
the late 80s / early 90s, a lot of local music venues closed /
converted to clubs etc.  Thus there were very few places you could go
to see live music, especially the smaller local bands.  These days
that trend has reversed quite a bit, and if it takes your fancy, you
can see live music most nights of the week.


(Also playing; King Crimson - The ProjeKcts)


Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 09:16:49 -0500
From: "Damian Wise (Foulger)" <>
Subject: Subjectivity
Message-ID: <393F6481.22348.232FA3@localhost>

Brian Matthews wrote,

> Sorry BDL, but your stating that you 'know' these two movies
> sucked is only true AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED. You state this
> like it is an objective fact. Personally, I liked 'Mission To
> Mars' (never saw 'Congo'), so this means that your statement is
> merely subjective, as are your opinions of XTC music. This is all
> they can and EVER will be.

Actually it is patently obvious from the physical interpretations of
current Quantum Mechanic Theory that the whole universe is
subjective at best.  There is no objectivity at all in the physical
world and so the merit of films, songs and other artistic mediums
must be subjective.  In fact, I think that John should add a
section to the titles of each Chalkhills stating that the opinions
expressed therein are exactly that, opinions and should
ALWAYS be interpreted as such.  But then we should all realise
that anyway... shouldn't we?

Dames tWd


Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 10:16:56 -0400
From: "Lieman, Ira" <>
Subject: Mr. Showbiz PLEADS with music fans...
Message-ID: <>

I do not lie. From Wall Of Sound's Chart Watch:

"Buy This Record!: It would be truly a shame if the majority of people never
got a chance to hear XTC's new one, Wasp Star (Apple Venus Volume 2), but
right now, that's the way its going. The album, which bowed last week at No.
110, is down to No. 190, with sales of just more than 7,000 and a total of
just fewer than 20,000."

I've got to say that I'm proud of such a "mainstream" web site
(jeez...mainstream web used to be the oxi-est of oxymorons just a couple of
years ago) telling its readership about this record. The website is owned by
DISNEY for god's sake. Maybe on the strength of this high praise someone
named Billy Bob in middle America will hitchhike to the nearest Wal-Mart,
buy this record, and be found line dancing to "Wounded Horse." Although the
idea of XTC putting out a country & western album sends chills of fright
down my spine, they might sell more records and live happily ever after.

Now that I think of it, they could do something Dukes style, calling
themselves...oh, I don't know...the Dukes of the Stratocaster? (as Sir John
Wayne and the Red Skelton) And Colin could resurrect the Colonel as the
Cavalry? (or...Colonel Sanders?) and put out a record that recalls Patsy
Cline and Dwight Yoakam and Alabama, with maybe a little Georgia Satellites
thrown in. Maybe Chris Gaines could donate some background vocals. It might
appeal to middle America's standards, and set new sales records at Wal-Mart.
Because right now they're buying a lot of Britney Spears and inflating sales.

But this is just me going on a little too far. However...a good album title
for this has already been mentioned by Andy in Song Stories... "Chips from
the Chocolate Cow."

> -ira

PS: Anyone else interested in a Blue's Clues mailing list? :)


Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 23:06:30 +0900
From: "John Boudreau" <>
Subject: miss conception
Message-ID: <000001bfd154$f5303ae0$7e5791d2@johnboud>

>P.S You Americans! not only do you have miss universe, but the world series
>played only by Americans! Where's the sense

We Americans also have a Miss America contest , in which women from amy
ethnic backround can enter , and a Miss Black America contest , in which
correct me if I am wrong , the rules may have changed since I left 14 years
ago ) only women of African- American decent can compete . Should be called
the Miss Afro-American contest since neither Indian ( women with roots in
India ) women nor any other women who have dark skin can participate .



Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 09:49:11 -0500
From: "Wiencek, Dan" <>
Subject: Opinions are like Chalkhills subscribers
Message-ID: <>

Brian, responding to "BDL," said:

> I am sick of people answering negative
> > posts with "shut up -- you couldn't write a song half as good as they
> > could".  I don't know the first thing about making a movie but I still
> > know Congo and Mission to Mars sucked.
> Sorry BDL, but your stating that you 'know' these two movies sucked is
> only true AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED. You state this like it is an
> objective fact. Personally, I liked 'Mission To Mars' (never saw
> 'Congo'), so this means that your statement is merely subjective, as are
> your opinions of XTC music. This is all they can and EVER will be.

Yeah ... no shit. Look, can we call an end to this "your opinions are only
opinions" rigamarole? It seems like everytime someone dares to express an
opinion without first neutering it with IMHO, FWIW, or some variant of "I
probably don't know what the f*** I'm talking about," someone else attacks
them for having the gall to express an aesthetic judgment as fact. There's

Every judgment made about the *quality* of a work, NO MATTER HOW IT IS
PHRASED, is an opinion. (Forgive the caps--I'm getting carried away here.)
It might be a solidly reasoned opinion or a staggeringly ill-informed one,
but it's entirely subjective in either case. Yes, I know you know this,
Brian, you said so in your reply. But do you really think BDS didn't?

It's in the nature of people with keenly developed critical faculties (as
most XTC listeners are by definition) to occasionally sound dismissive when
speaking about works that don't reach the heights of originality or daring
we're accustomed to. (And yes, that too is a matter of opinion, though again
an informed opinion carries more weight than an ill-informed one.) Some of
the more sarcastic of us might speak of the "fact" that something blows
chunks even knowing we're only spouting opinions. Big deal; sometimes you
have to let go and vent. But nobody's trying to lay down the law for anyone

In fact, I will even propose that the acronym "IMHO" is unnecessary and
should be discouraged on the list. We are all adults, or nearly adults; we
don't need training wheels anymore. All of us have enough basic intelligence
to distinguish between a statement of fact and a statement of opinion. The
only purpose of "IMHO" is to avoid hurting other people's feelings, and I
don't need my feelings protected, and neither should anyone else. If someone
expresses an opinion I don't like, I either A) post a counter-argument, if I
feel the original argument was poorly made, or B) ignore it. If some of you
think Nonsuch is lousy, I don't agree, I don't really care, and I have no
interest in trying to change your mind. You're still XTC fans. When we agree
on who our favorite band is, the rest is just details.

Dan Wiencek


Date: Wed, 07 Jun 2000 12:48:24 -0600
From: Phil Corless <>
Subject: Stupidly T-Shirt
Message-ID: <>

After repeated listenings of "Stupidly Happy" I've decided
that I need a t-shirt with these words on it.

The shirt shop has a minimum order of 12.  Who will join me?
I don't have a design yet, but will work on it this weekend.
Let me know if this might be of interest to you.  I'll let you
know when I have something to view.... It's going to be simple.
Just those two words, in some funky font.

"The revolution is just a t-shirt away."
   - Billy Bragg


Date: Wed, 07 Jun 2000 15:27:24 -0700
From: Jason Kirkman__Carol Kawase <>
Subject: The Greenman melody
Message-ID: <>

Well hi, everybody--

Warren asked: does anyone know what classical tune Partsy is ripping off in
Greenman in the bit that goes, "And you've known for a million years he has
been your father". Try humming it, it's not greensleeves but something like
Beethoven, The Beach Boys used it at the beginning of Lady Lynda.

Well, "ripping off" is strong language, but that melody is very reminiscent
of one of the melodies in "Jesu, bleibet meine Freude", better known as
"Jesu, joy of man's desiring" from Cantata 147 by J.S. Bach.  Not a
note-for-note quote, mind you, but substantially the same melody.

I think the dissonant harmonium in "Boarded Up" harks back to "The Word" on
Rubber Soul.  And the Chalker who heard "Words of Love" at the end of "I'm
The Man" is right on.  Again, not an exact quote, but there's no denying
the resemblance.

Oranges and Lemons was a double album.  At least the US version is.  I'm
sure Mark S. is well aware of this.

Count me in as one of the poor souls who didn't get WS at first.  Took me a
few listens, now I'm an ectastic convert.  I'm a keyboard player, and I do
think the keyboard parts on this album are not up to the standard of
previous XTC releases.  But WS is supposed to be a guitar album, after all.
 And I agree completely with those who have pointed out that XTC is a
different group than it was, this is how they sound now, and we'd all have
more fun if we cherish the many wonderful things they offer us rather than
gripe about things like the poor excuse for a synth/organ solo at the end
of "We're All Light".

Real theremins (the ones with the sphere you move your hands toward and
away from to control pitch) are *extremely* hard to play in tune.  The one
the Beach Boys used live had a ribbon controller, so it's not technically
the real deal.  I'd bet the one on "We're All Light" is a synth.

That's enough out of me.

Jason K.


End of Chalkhills Digest #6-159

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