Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #6-157

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 6, Number 157

                  Wednesday, 7 June 2000


 Re: Interview, jukeboxes, Dunks' unfavourites and twats
               Wasp Star,Americans,Greenman
standing on my soap box and in defense (somewhat) of Molly
                       Riff's ahoy!
          Re: All The World Was Football Shaped
               Nevertheless, it DOES move.
                 Forearmed and forewarned
                  Standing in For Colin
                    Hockey Up On Poppy
                   is that the beatles?
                 more jukebox annoyances
                 Klaatu, and _Wasp Star_
                     DG's replacement
               Yet Another Wasp Star Review
                  Eppur Xux Ek Si Muove


    To UNSUBSCRIBE from the Chalkhills mailing list, send a message to
    <> with the following command:


    For all other administrative issues, send a message to:


    Please remember to send your Chalkhills postings to:


    World Wide Web: <>

    The views expressed herein are those of the individual authors.

    Chalkhills is compiled with Digest 3.7b (John Relph <>).

Odin mounts the tree / Bleeds for you and me.


Date: Wed, 07 Jun 2000 16:29:43 EST
From: "Iain Murray" <>
Subject: Re: Interview, jukeboxes, Dunks' unfavourites and twats
Message-ID: <>

>Subject: Interview on Triple-J
>I made a complete, unexpurgated MiniDisc copy of the recent two-part AP
>interview on Triple-J that I am willing to trade for something >worthwhile.

Damn, that outdoes my green crayon transcription! Thank God I didn't post it
to the list (I'm not sure if the crayon would really work over the 'net

>From: Eb <>
>Subject: re: jukeboxes
>So, I wandered back to the jukebox and hunted through the discs. Lo and
>behold, one of these things was not like the others: Zappa's "Freak >Out."
>Beautiful. I selected "The Return of the Son of Monster Magnet," went >back
>to my friends and waited for the fireworks.
>Predictably enough, about 10 minutes later, the jukebox's deafening >volume
>was turned down considerably....

This works almost as well with early Split Enz. The Kingston Hotel in
Canberra used to have a Split Enz retrospective CD in their jukebox along
with the usual Metallica, Pearl Jam, Cold Chisel "pub rock". Every time I
programmed in "Matinee Idyll", the plug mysteriously worked its way out of
the wall while nobody was looking.

.....a spray from Dunks:
>Depeche f***ing Mode?? Could you possibly have found a band I despise


>From: Philip Lawes <>
>Subject: Lira, buses & lewdness
>I prefer TWATMP as an acronym.  Yesterday in
>Parliament anyone?

Bwaaaahahahahahaha!!! I don't know who you are, young man, but you've done
me a power of good.....


"I believe there is a commonality to humanity. We all suck." -- Bill Hicks


Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 13:27:31 +0200
From: "Mark R. Strijbos" <>
Subject: Theremin
Message-ID: <>

Dear Chalkers,

>    Folks have been talking about the theremin sound used in "We're All
>    Light", but I have another observation: Even though I recognize it
>    as a theremin (or at least the type of sound that a theremin could
>    produce)

This pure guesswork but I'm willing to bet a few bucks that it is not a
real Theremin; the sound is very similar but IMHO the frequency is
much too regular and in tune...
Something that is nigh impossible to achieve with a Theremin

yours in xtc,

Mark Strijbos @ The Little Lighthouse


Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 13:37:08 +0100
From: Warren Butson <>
Subject: Wasp Star,Americans,Greenman
Message-ID: <>

I've just received the new Wasp star demos and I have to say having already
heard the album, it's ruined my appreciation. There's so many great things
they did on the record that they left off on the finished demos! I think in
future I'll definately not get the album until they release the demos
first!!!!!!!!! (Molly - I'm joking)

P.S You Americans! not only do you have miss universe, but the world series
played only by Americans! Where's the sense? Maybe you learnt from us Brits.
Invent a game called cricket, teach it to every country within the Empire
then watch them all whip your arses at it! Are we pathetic or what

P.P.S It's a bit late for this but does anyone know what classical tune
Partsy is ripping off in Greenman in the bit that goes, "And you've known
for a million years he has been your father". Try humming it, it's not
greensleeves but something like Beethoven, The Beach Boys used it at the
beginning of Lady Lynda.

Finally does anyone have any ideas from WS lyrics for a name for the next
album. Mine are:  BUMPER STICKER


Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 06:52:04 -0700 (PDT)
From: nross <>
Subject: standing on my soap box and in defense (somewhat) of Molly
Message-ID: <>

Hey, now you're an all star:

4 stars goes to this post:

Subject: Bees in your bonnet

    Joseph Easter asked for it, so here it goes...

    XTC is my favorite band because I can hear Andy's sparkling synapse
firing as he reaches out for the impossible stars.


First of all, you used synapse, poetically, in a sentence. After this
sentence, I feel like singing "To dream, the impossible...". Oh, hell,
really its just that you used synapse in a sentence. So much better
than hearing "insane in the membrane, insane in the brain". Folks,
there ain't no way to be insane in the membrane - GOD that song
irritates the hell out of me.

Cars irritate the hell out of me, too. Not the group, but you know- the
automobile. They friggin break down every 2 weeks. Push it from the
road fersure, my friends!

People who throw their cigarette butts out of the car irritate me. Why
must they do that? I mean, USE THE ASH TRAY. If you didn't get the ash
tray option, then your a schmuck and just rig one up... but don't
friggin cause grass fires or just plain pollute- you're making our
roads look gross. Its just so unnecessary and inconsiderate.

Oh, did I say Cars irritate me?

Oh yeah, back to the post... It was a good post, in fact it was the
only post I read almost to completion in that digest. I just felt like
telling you all that.

Oh, next point:  Yeah yeah yeah, Molly's post have been classic and
many funny posts in response have been , uh, posted... but lets move
on, please. Just kidding. :-).

My question is, Molly... what do you think is special about XTC?
What makes them rock you world, so to speak? I ask because what I like
the most is the irony and sarcasm in the songs (or the irony
occasionally  turned into positiveness). I love the word play. I love
Andy and Colin's vocabulary and their ability to use simple words
correctly, making them intelligent. They never stuff their brains down
your ears. The music is not ostentatious, its not pretentious, and yet
it gets the point across beautifully and elegantly. I ask Molly,
because- well, you've probably answered it before, but hey, it will get
us of this Molly doesn't understand written sarcasm thread, right?

Did I mention Cars irritate me? Nicole... ride the bus, I know... but
its not feasible, eh!

-cheers all, Nicole "don't throw your butts :-) out the window" Ross

Nicole's internet music station:


Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 08:43:26 -0500
From: "Damian Wise (Foulger)" <>
Subject: Riff's ahoy!
Message-ID: <393E0B2E.5469.10919C@localhost>

Dear all,

I do like Wasp Star, but I don't think it is as good (to me) as
some of their other stuff, but it is growing on me slowly -
perhaps this means that it will be one of those enduring records
for me.  Anyhow, what I do notice and it detracts from my
enjoyment, is that many of the songs seem to start with a guitar
riff which continues blantantly, loudly through the whole song.
To list those that stand out to me: Playground, Stupidly Happy,
Boarded Up and You and the clouds will still be beautiful.  Has
anyone else noticed this, or is it just me?

That's all,

Dames tWd


Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 08:39:44 -0400
From: "Brian" <>
Subject: Re: All The World Was Football Shaped
Message-ID: <003a01bfd07d$7700e520$5fe49cd1@Brian>


Duncan Kimball types:

> Concluding a day of startling revelations, Mitch "I'm The Man Who Murdered
> History" Friedman rewrites the books:
> >Axis Mundi - "Axle of the World". Ancient cosmologies pictured the
> >earth as a globe spinning on a shaft with the ends fastened at the
> >celestial poles.
> Can you run that one by me again, please Mitch? "Ancient cosmologies
> pictured the earth as a GLOBE"?? Hmmmm. I'll pass that on to Gailieo when
> I see him in hell (after Molly and Joseph have me killed). I'm sure it
> will be a great comfort to him.

I'll second that (well, not the killing of Duncan part - I guess... :-).
The Ancient Greeks certainly had figured out that the Earth was spherical,
but they're the only big players I know of... after that the rise of
Christianity pretty much dumbed things down for everybody.
(Thanks Christianity... thanks a lot.)
My education tells me most thought the Earth was other than globular.
Please present your evidence, Mitch.


> > >I bought English Settlement... Liked many songs, but
> > >the b-sides for the most part were crappy. Ball &
> > >Chain to me is insepid crap.
> >
> > With all due respect "d." - go away write a song even 1/10th as good as
> > "Ball & Chain" or "Life Begins At The Hop" or "Generals & Majors" and then
> > come back and we'll discuss their relative merits.
> Oh, come on.  I am not nearly as talented as Andy or Colin but I don't
> feel that precludes me from having an opinion on their work, however
> strong, however negative.  If you held everyone on this list to that rule
> traffic would dwindle to nil, and if you held everyone in the world to it
> all the critics would disappear.  I am sick of people answering negative
> posts with "shut up -- you couldn't write a song half as good as they
> could".  I don't know the first thing about making a movie but I still
> know Congo and Mission to Mars sucked.

Sorry BDL, but your stating that you 'know' these two movies sucked is only
true AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED. You state this like it is an objective
fact. Personally, I liked 'Mission To Mars' (never saw 'Congo'), so this
means that your statement is merely subjective, as are your opinions of XTC
music. This is all they can and EVER will be.


> 1) Molly still just doesn't get irony, sarcasm, maybe just jokes in
> general.  Sorry, Molly, but I just have to laugh every time you get all
> crazy about something so obviously and blatantly sarcastic.  You would be
> a Dinsdale fan, as opposed to a Doug fan, right?

Maybe _I_ wasn't paying attention, but I distinctly remember a tag on the
end of Molly's original reply to this thread opener that indicated that she
knew what was being said and how. I remember this because I was getting
ready to give her my $.02 worth when I caught it and deleted the reply I was
getting ready to send. Cut her some slack.


> Do I miss Dave?  Yeah.  Will that change anything?  Nope.  Did Andy do a
> great job?  Definitely.  Does the "style" of the music/production on WS
> make it hard to judge what "long-term damage" Dave's departure might have
> done.  Could very well be.  But for now: I'm happy, and Andy plays some
> damn fine geetar.

Andy doesn't play like Dave... but geetar does not a song make.
Andy does a song make, and fine ones at that.

-Brian Matthews


Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 10:03:57 EDT
Subject: itmwmllwmtlwmtll
Message-ID: <>

In a message dated 6/6/00 2:00:41 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
<> writes:

<<  I compare ITMWML to
 such songs as Towers of London, Earn Enough For Us, Senses Working Overtime,
 Mayor of Simpleton and so on.  Yes, I definitely put in in the same ballpark
 as those tunes.  IMHO.  The concept alone is a scream!  But, hey, if ya don't
 like it, ya don't like it!  Ya know? >>

Yeah, I guess, but even the 'poppy' songs such as the ones you mentioned even
have a lot of substance and intelligence.  By andy's standards, ITMWML has
very little of either.  Plus, why must 'poppy music be 'stupid?'; an argument
that many seem to use.

-matt mitchell


Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 08:55:25 -0400 (EDT)
From: Joe Hartley <>
Subject: Nevertheless, it DOES move.
Message-ID: <>

From: "Duncan Kimball" <>
> Concluding a day of startling revelations, Mitch "I'm The Man Who Murdered
> History" Friedman rewrites the books:
> >Axis Mundi - "Axle of the World". Ancient cosmologies pictured the
> >earth as a globe spinning on a shaft with the ends fastened at the
> >celestial poles.
> Can you run that one by me again, please Mitch? "Ancient cosmologies
> pictured the earth as a GLOBE"?? Hmmmm.

Yep.  Archimedes even had the Earth's circumference calculated pretty
accurately considering all he had to work with were a few sticks and

> I'll pass that on to Gailieo when I see him in hell[.]

Galileo wasn't imprisoned for suggesting the Earth was not flat; only a
few of the more superstitious sailors believed that.  The scientific
communities have almost always realised the Earth was round.  Galileo's
"crime" was in supporting the Copernican theory that the Earth revolves
around the Sun.  The Church, its head in the sand as usual, refused to
believe that the Earth wasn't the center of all things, and dealt with
this difference in opinion the way it usually did - it tossed Galileo into
home imprisonment.

Copernicus, who first worked out the idea and the math describing the
orbits of the known planets, did not publish his work during his lifetime,
for he was a member of the clergy and feared just the sort of backlash
that befell Galileo.

ObXTC: If the Earth were flat, Andy would never have written "The Man Who
Sailed Around His Soul".

Joe "If you're going to spout off, get it right" Hartley


Date: Wed, 07 Jun 2000 10:46:11 -0400
From: "Todd Bernhardt" <>
Subject: Forearmed and forewarned
Message-ID: <>
Organization: Enterworks, Inc.


Wes said:
> Independent of dad's influence or prompting, he's constantly exploring the
> collection, often disappearing with a disc to listen in private. Asked by
> his instructor to bring in a cd for drum lessons, he's brought in BS and ES
> to learn Terry's smackings.

My god, you must be so proud. Next step: Get him playing along with
White Music, to build his stamina. Next thing you know, his forearms
will be so big he'll be walking around crushing Volkswagons with his
bare hands for kicks. Seek help if he starts asking about the location
of the nearest fish-and-chips shop after drinking a lot of fluids,

Mein freund Jeff Thomas said:
> 5) And back to Todd, don't want to agree with him *too* much today.  The
> gall to give advice or criticize Andy & Colin, even though I've never
> written anything 10% as good as their worst?  I have it, pal!  I am a fan,
> I am their customer, and I am their friend.  This ain't the Church of XTC
> and they ain't God.  And that gives me the right to criticize, and if I
> want to, I will.

Criticize away! I never said I have a problem with that. Giving advice
to the band via Chalkhills, on the other hand, strikes me as
presumptuous and pointless.

FWIW, IMO, etc., being a fan and a customer gives you, me, or anyone
else no rights whatsoever. XTC record and release music -- we choose to
buy it and/or listen to it. Period. They owe us nothing.

Ira said:
> I've gotta say that the missed sarcasm thing has made my week. Maybe we
> should all do what we will but harm none, 'k?? Maybe we should have some
> type of rule on the list that doesn't allow any verbiage that someone "might
> not get." It would lower the common denominator enough to allow for
> conversations about politics.

The estimable Simon Deane has already worked that out for us! From
>I shall also be recommending an amendment to Chalkhills posting etiquette
- every post should contain a kind of "health warning" in the Subject
field - if the post has any ironic, satirical or sarcastic content, it
should say so plainly (I suggest the following "code": <WUA-isosp>
[meaning "Wind Up Alert - ironic, satirical or sarcastic post"]). If
nothing else, such a code will ensure subscribers can maintain their
dignity and not appear like a bunch of brainless twats.<

Plus, "WUA-isosp" is cool to yell out really loud in a crowded place
when no one is expecting it.


Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 08:16:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jon Rosenberger <>
Subject: Standing in For Colin
Message-ID: <>

Wes's response to Bob's post:

Bob O'Bannon spat:

One more comment on Wasp Star. I'm not particularly comfortable with
the rather casual attitude Colin takes toward betrayal and adultery in
"Standing in for Joe." Are we supposed to think it's cute that the
character in the song is not only screwing another man's wife, but
screwing over his best friend in the process?

This song is light hearted, bittersweet and not meant to be taken
quite so seriously.  Remember that Colin is now obsessed with "light"

And I say

Read those lyrics more carefully lads. No where does it state that Joe
is married to this "girl". So no adultery has been commited and the
only sins here are pre-marital sex and stabbing ones mate in the back.
Nasty lines on ones resume to be sure, but nothing to get your feathers
all in a fluff about.


PS: Oh yeah "Hey Kingstunes - nice comeback!" My mother is passed on
now though so she can't stick her army boots up your ass.


Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 10:57:13 -0600
Subject: Hockey Up On Poppy
Message-ID: <>

Hockey and XTC. Hard to believe that ever the twain would meet.

Put me in the camp of disgruntled Colorado fans who can't bear to watch any
of the Stanley Cup Finals, no matter WHAT music they're playing during
breaks in the action.

Notes on WS: I love the intimacy of Andy's vocals at the beginning of My
Brown Guitar and Stupidly Happy. Unprocessed, not doubled, no lush
harmonies...............It sounds like he's in my living room, strumming
and singing away. Then, inevitably, comes the deluge...

And speaking of lush harmonies, does anyone know what those XTC'ers use to
get that huge wash of harmony? Is it relentless doubling of parts, or is
there some magic box that they use to process everything into that
distinctive, signature sound?

"I'm bugged........"




Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 10:51:07 -0600
From: "Joseph Easter" <>
Subject: is that the beatles?
Message-ID: <000e01bfd0a0$9607c6a0$6a730a3f@default>

I recognize the influence, but when asked if I'm playing the Beatles at
work, I usually respond, "Are you high?" That's like asking if the color
blue is the color red. The two are intrisically their own.

 Question for our resident know-it-alls...

What's the deal with all the typos on WS? Have you noticed? Until I looke I
thought the opening lines of COW were, "A lime for a line, but a truce for
the truth..." I'm unaccustomed to having printed lyrics.

Brett, Duncan, etc. I harbor no animosity towards anyone for their postings.
However, I have to let you know that although my girlfriend Tonya (Harding)
thinks that XTC is a pansy lovers band, she will go the length of the world
to defend our honor together. Only if she weren't on that pesky probation...

I heard a quote on Writer's Almanac on Monday that went something like this:

When confronted with a great work of art, people realize that they don't
believe what they thought they beleived all along.  The great art, the great
subversive art, makes you realize that you don't think what you thought you

It's by the playwright David Hare. I think it is apropos to XTC.

Joseph "Pardon, s'il vous plait, je ne parle pas francais, je suis suelmente
americain" Easter


Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 10:36:52 -0700 (PDT)
From: Tyler Hewitt <>
Subject: more jukebox annoyances
Message-ID: <>

a couple of amusing posts about annoying jukebox
selections has prompted some memories...

Back in the mid '80's, I  and a couple of friends were
dragged to a country line dance bar. Which mignt not
be so bad, but consider the following:

It was the mid '80's. the rise in Country's popularity
was years away from happening. Line dance bars were
dingey, cultish places in bad working-class industrial

The three of us who were dragged to this bar were all
gay men. We were there with a female friend AND HER
PARENTS all of whom were really into this sort of
thing. We weren't into this at all. The girl's parents
hadn't a clue about our orientations.

when we got there, me and my friends were shocked to
discover that we were the only three men in this
packed bar NOT wearing cowboy hats.

The three of us sat there, watching everyone dancing
to the band, drinking as much as possible, feeling
nervous, thinking we were about to be beat up, etc.

When the band took a break, people immediately went to
the jukebox and plugged it full of more tunes to dance
too. Well, I wandered over to the jukebx and found it
stocked full of country singles, except for one:
Carrie Ann by the Hollies (if you don't know that
song, think British invasion-early '60's British pop).
I coulden't help myself-I had to play it.
When that song came on, it looked like turning on the
light in a room full of roaches.. IMMEDIATELY, the
dance floor emptied, and everyone stood around on the
edges looking annoyed. The song finished, another
country song came on, and the dance floor immediately
filled up again.
I was pretty drunk by this time, and found the whole
episode hysterically funny, but I was too scared to go
play it again...

I've been on the recieving end of this, too. There was
a jukebox in my high school cafeteria. It was stocked
full of shitty AC/DC singles. Someone would get there
early EVERY DAY, and play every single AC/DC song.
They also discovered the volume control, and would
crank it up to distortion-level loudness. I spent
nearly every lunch period my Senior year hving to
endure this. This was especially annoying as I hated
AC/DC with a passion, my musical tastes at the time
being Elvis Costello, the Clash, the B-52's and, oh
yeah, XTC.

Why am I telling you all this? It beats doing anything productive!


Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 13:47:56 -0400 (EDT)
From: Dorothy Spirito <spiritod@TECHMAIL.GDC.COM>
Subject: Klaatu, and _Wasp Star_
Message-ID: <Pine.SOL.4.00.10006071313160.4876-100000@esun2028>

Thanks, Ryan Anthony, for the Tom Lehrer information.  As for Klaatu, I
already own all their stuff.  I remember well the fervor surrounding their
debut album, _3:47 EST_; I didn't believe it at the time.  Snapped up a
copy of it -- which I still have -- because I like the *original* version
of "Calling Occupants" better than the cover done by The Carpenters'.
Loved the other weird stuff they did, and snapped up the subsequent
releases.  You'll like the third album, _Sir Army Suit_.  I like the last
album, _Magentalane_, but there's a lot of sweetness-and-light on it.

Back to the buzz when their debut album came out with *no* band
information or pictures:  I didn't like the Beatles.  (In my
non-conformist snobbery, I eschewed the Beatles until I heard some of the
*good* stuff and realized I was cutting off my nose to spite my face.)
*I* didn't think Klaatu was the Beatles in disguise, or I wouldn't have
bought the album.

XTC content:  You won't get my blow-by-blow of _Wasp Star_.  I *love* it!
Although there were songs I didn't initially like, they've *all* grown on
me, as I've discovered XTC music does, over time.  And because of that
peculiar effect enamored by good ol' Pavlov, whenever I hear the "Maypole"
portion of the album I will always think of -- sex.  What a great album!



Date: Wed, 07 Jun 2000 14:01:42 -0400
From: Mark Newberg <>
Subject: DG's replacement
Message-ID: <>
Organization: @Home Network

I have spent nights turning in my bed (like most of you) wondering who
will take over guitar duties in this band. A few days later I heard, I
forget at the moment where I heard it, that Brittany Spears was taking
up the guitar so she can play one of her songs in concert. Could it
be!!??? Could Brittany Spears really be taking up the guitar to join
XTC? Can Brittany really afford to walk away from her lucrative solo
career to join a band that no one (except us) has heard about?

It not Brittany how about session musician Glen Campbell?


Mark Newberg

Some people are born into mediocrity, some are thrust into mediocrity,
and some strive to achieve it.


Date: Wed, 07 Jun 2000 11:19:41 PDT
From: "Ralph Simpson DeMarco" <>
Subject: Yet Another Wasp Star Review
Message-ID: <>

Dear Affiliated Members:

Yet another Wasp Star review.

I had to wait because I wanted to hear the album at least seven times before
claiming I don't like one song or the other. (Note: never heard the demos)

One of my favorite songs on the album. Love the singsong 'playground,
playground, careful what you say ground'. Brilliant lyrics and catchy as

Stupidly Happy:
I really disliked this song when I first heard it. I like it more now, The
lone riff gets on my nerves until the crafty embellishments kick in. Not my
first choice for a single.

In Another Life:
At first the harmonica part bothered me. I'm used to it now. A touching and
funny song. But I wish Colin would write a rock'n roll song like he used to.

My Brown Guitar:
Talk about Beatlesque. I wouldn't be surprised if Paul McCartney's old muse
visited Andy in his sleep and planted some of this lovely into Andy's
songwriting gland. The metaphors made me blush.

Boarded Up:
Colin's answer to Red Brick Dream  except this is a nightmare. Love the
line 'Pubs and clubs had the chop/ making way for a superstore plot/ some
town planner didn't know when to stop.' Sounds like my hometown of Port
Chester. Love the off key pump organ (if that's what it is).

The Man Who Murdered Love:
Sounds like the sequel to Dear Madam Barnum. Very funny lyrics. Great song,
great solo, and classic XTC.

We're All Light:
This should have been the other single  not Stupidly Happy. I find myself
singing this song to myself all the time. Unfortunate lyric: 'Jack and
Jillion years ago'  almost as bad as 'about the baby and its umbilical'.

Standing In For Joe:
Just too damn close to Barrytown, and Barrytown is a much better song. I
thought repeated listening would help  nope. Sorry Colin, this song should
have remained a demo. Now, if you haven't spent twenty years listening to
Steely Dan than it shouldn't bother you.

Wounded Horse:
Another Beatles song ghost written by Andy (how the hell does he do it?). I
love the sound of Andy's guitar and his Sir John Johns singing. The bridge
is so amazing... it makes the song a great one.

You And The Clouds Will Still Be Beautiful:
What a great beat. Has that Omnibus push to it. Makes you want a conga line.
One of the best love songs Andy has ever written. The arrangements are so
wonderful, what with the horns popping in and the backing vocals 'so let it
rain'. This is another single contender.

Church of Women:
After reading Song Stories, I was really curious about this song. As usual
Andy does not disappoint. I sing this to myself all the time. Could have
easily fit on AV1 in my estimation. Some of the best lyrics he's ever

The Wheel and the Maypole:
Wow. This is the best song on the album. That's about all I can say. I can't
believe that these two parts were not written with each other in mind. Andy
is a pop song genius. This song is a perfect closer to a great album.

Thank you and good night.



Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 15:27:47 EDT
Subject: Eppur Xux Ek Si Muove
Message-ID: <>

>From: "Duncan Kimball" <>
>Subject: Mine eyes have seen the glory ...


>>Axis Mundi - "Axle of the World". Ancient cosmologies pictured the
>>earth as a globe spinning on a shaft with the ends fastened at the
>>celestial poles.
>Can you run that one by me again, please Mitch? "Ancient cosmologies
>pictured the earth as a GLOBE"?? Hmmmm. I'll pass that on to Gailieo when
>I see him in hell (after Molly and Joseph have me killed). I'm sure it
>will be a great comfort to him.

Actually, Dunks, the careful reader will have noted that Mitch was quoting
there from "Barbara Walker's 'The Woman's Encyclopedia of Myths and
Secrets," which happens to be Andy's favorite book, discovered in Erica's
apartment when he was first dating her." Mitch didn't just sort of make
that bit up.

We'd been informed before about Andy's affection for the Women's
Encyclopedia, but the fact that Andy discovered it while first dating Erica
is a wonderful little tidbit o' deliciousness that's only available in
Chalkhills, your source for yummy minor-celebrity dish.

The Women's Encyclopedia was probably badly overstating the case; however,
ancient cultures frequently weren't as scientifically moronic as
Imperialist histories continually try to make them out to be. Certainly the
more astronomically advanced cultures such as the Mesoamericans and the
Persians were probably quite well aware that the earth is a globe, and
let's not forget Aristarchus of Samos (310 - 230 B.C.), who posited that
the earth rotated on its axis every twenty-four hours and also went round
the sun once a year, and that the other planets all move in orbits around
the sun. In other words, he anticipated Copernicus in all essentials by
2000 years. (No, he didn't *prove* it, but certainly Eratosthenes went a
long way toward demonstrating that the world is a globe well before the
birth of Christ:

That all this knowledge was lost to the West during the Dark Ages and wasn't
rediscovered until the Counter-Reformation was tragic, but that isn't the
fault of the knowledge's originators, who had it right in the first place.

This from Stephanie "All That Bright She's Throwing" Takeshita:

>Quite right.  And it's worth pointing out that the maypole is also very
>much like that "axis mundi," no?  Both are long, phallic poles, 'round
>which spins a round body or symbolic body of sorts, and both unite the
>(penetrative) phallic and the (receptive) oceanic.

I think we can go farther: The Maypole *is* the Axis Mundi.

What was odd about the Women's Encyclopedia definition of "Axis Mundi" is
what it *excluded*: It may well be the axle of the world, but this
translates into different things in different cultures. Students of
religion use the term to signify any physical place that is a center or
source of power. Go to for some concrete
examples. Look, for example, at the medieval T-O Maps near the bottom of
the page, showing the city of Jerusalem as the center of the world: Axis
Mundi, no question.

What interests us here is Yggdrasil, the World Tree, another expression of
an Axis Mundi, this one from Norse religion. It has its roots in the
underworld, its shaft travels through this world, and its branches reach to
the heavens.  It is, of course, as Dunks admirably pointed out in #5-136 lo
those many moons ago
Yggdrasil, the World Tree, the Axis Mundi, that Odin climbed to "bleed for
you and me" in Easter Theater!

And the Maypole is a modern expression of Yggdrasil.

Round and round goes the Wheel, indeed!

I spent some of my youth in Scandinavia, and the Maypole tradition, alive
and strong there, has some very interesting variations: The flowered pole
is as one would expect, quite obviously phallic, but the Swedes also
suspend a circular wreath from the top of the pole, which encircles the
shaft of the thing most lubriciously. It is from this wreath that the
dancers' ribbons are suspended. Honestly, folks, you couldn't get more
yoni-lingam-yum-yum-yum than this. A looking at it makes me feel like
grabbing a lusty wench and heading for the rye-fields for a little
sympathetic magic, growl growl, get those buds a-blooming!

Harrison "Any volunteers?" Sherwood


End of Chalkhills Digest #6-157

Go back to the previous page.