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Subject: Chalkhills Digest #5-69


          Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 69

                 Tuesday, 26 January 1999

Today's Topics:

                 Davi D'oh strikes again!
                      The last post
              XTC in-store appearance in LA
                AV preview on MOJO mag CD
         Contacting my local radio station: More!
         How Much is that Patridge in the Window?
                         Heaven.
                     My Top 10 of 98
Their names both have three letters, after that, nothing in common
                     Record snobbery
                        AV single
        Sources for Andy and Terry interview tapes
              Scissor Man let loose on #5-66
                      MK, PPP, MFSL
             Re: Buying on the day of release
                    More Spousal Abuse
 reminder - rare English Settlement tour buttons - going,
                        Here Here
     He Eats with Relish and Ketchup the Inner Organs
                     Anxious for AV1
                   Then it Appeared...
                 Prindle XTC Review Page

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    The views expressed herein are those of the individual authors.

    Chalkhills is compiled using Digest 3.6b (by John Relph <relph@sgi.com>).

Whips and semen, adulterous confessions.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 17:17:42 +0100 (MET)
From: Martin van Rappard <rappard@dds.nl>
Subject: Davi D'oh strikes again!
Message-ID: <Pine.GSO.3.90.990122171523.24640C-100000@fatima.dds.nl>

I got the following from a friend in Manchester:

AQAQAQIC,
I82QB4IP

Has someone on this list been vandalizing Mancunian pub toilets?:)

Back to lurking and waiting for AV1,

Martin
http://members.xoom.com/rappard
rappard@iname.com

------------------------------

From: sfrankli@ECHG.ORG.UK
Message-ID: <80256701.0050600F.00@Inet.echg.org.uk>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 14:44:57 +0100
Subject: The last post

I am leaving my present job today and will  therefore not be able to get
the benefit of chalkhills any more. Rather like the Sony awards, I would
like to thank.... Dave Goody (I'll see you next year in the cup ) and Jon M
form London (great address) for getting me on the demo trail. Thank you
both for the tapes.
On a personal note there has been some recent flack flying about folk
talking about obtaining advance copies of AV1. For the record I am not in a
privileged position of personally knowing the band nor am I a music
journalist, but a fan who has Swindon connections and was able to find out
where AP lives. So armed with copies of song stories and c+c I drove past
his house, lost my bottle, and drove past again ,parked and pressed the
door bell.
He answered !!!!!   I felt like a school boy as I said 'can I have your
autograph'. He smiled called me a bugger and obliged. I said that I thought
he was a bloody genious and he responded by stopping signing the books and
shook me by the hand. I then asked him about the Japanese ltd edition and
he asked me if I wanted an advance copy of the new CD, well does the pope
snog airports, so I SAID YES PLEASE and he gave me one.
I said in an earlier post that I was still getting used to some of the
tracks. Well rest assured I am now fully tuned in and I think that this is
an orsome piece of work Even my wife likes some of it and my 4 year son
likes bouncing around to Fruit Nut.
Thanks for the entertainment for the past year or so and I look forward to
re subscribing when I get one of these things at home.
(Sorry about the spelling....last day at work visit to the pub.)

Steve Franklin

------------------------------

Date: 22 Jan 1999 11:26:38 -0800
From: "Melby, Mary Beth" <Mary.Beth.Melby@disney.com>
Subject: XTC in-store appearance in LA

Chalkfellows:

A friend of mine works in Marketing for Columbia and he just e-mailed me to
let me know that Andy and Colin will be doing an LA appearance either in the
Tower Sunset store or the Virgin Sunset store.  No date as of yet, just the
hint of things to come.

So, maybe we Los Angeles denizens of Chalkhills should use this as an excuse
to have a get-together?  I know that there are plenty of us on here so what
do you think?  E-mail me privately at mary.beth.melby@disney.com if you are
interested and I'll pull something together...

MB

P.S.  Since I know that there are some closet Monkees fans on this list
also, I thought I might let you know that Michael Nesmith is doing an
in-store book signing at Book Soup on Sunset - January 25th at 7 pm.  For
those of you who don't know, he just wrote and published a novel called "The
Long Sandy Hair of Neftoon Zamora" The first seven chapters of it were
posted at his website - it's good reading!

------------------------------

From: sharedon@mbcc.mass.edu
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 14:52:50 -0500
Message-Id: <99012214525038@mbcc.mass.edu>
Subject: AV preview on MOJO mag CD

The brand-new MOJO magazine from the UK features "Easter Theatre"
on their latest giveaway CD, which comes with the issue.
For completists, of course!

-d.

------------------------------

Message-ID: <900822C71730D2118D8C00805F65765C38A127@EINSTEIN>
From: Jill Oleson <oleson@moneystar.com>
Subject: Contacting my local radio station: More!
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 13:56:44 -0600

Oh Chalkers, the saga continues:

As I wrote in my last post, I contacted one of my
local radio stations to encourage them to play a single
off either "Transistor Blast" or "Apple Venus" and to
update their web site to include mention of both albums.

The DJ, Jody Denberg of Austin's KGSR, turned out to
be incredibly kind to me.  I sent y'all a copy of his first
reply to me, but we continued to e-converse over the next
couple of hours.  As it approached 5pm and the end of
my workday, he sent me a message asking me to
call him at the station ASAP.

I was so excited, I thought perhaps he was going to give
me a pair of tickets to see the California Guitar Trio, a
creative group of guitarists who have studied music with
Robert Fripp.  I had seen them live before and thought
they were great.  I'd love to see them again, they're coming
to town next week...

But Jody didn't give me tickets to see the California Guitar
Trio...  he said that since I was obviously such a big fan
of XTC, he wanted to give me an advance copy of ...
"Apple Venus!"

I was breathing heavy, stumbling over my words as
I thanked him profusely.  I couldn't believe my good
fortune.  I couldn't believe his kindness, his generosity.
I'm sure I made a fool of myself.  (I think I was drooling--
good thing it was just a phone call.)

Just as I thought life couldn't get any better, he added
"I also have a copy of "Transistor Blast" I want to give
you as well.  It's not the full album, which is a four CD
set, it's a selection from the boxed set that they're
sending to radio stations."

I put my hand to my chest, "Am I having a heart attack?"
Then to my head, "Can this be happening? Where did
my humdrum reality go?"  Breathe, girl, remember to
breathe.  In.  Out.  Slowly.

I bubbled like popped champagne bottle.  I effervesced.
Thank doG there was no video camera handy.

He told me about his interview with Andy, the one that's
going to make it's debut this weekend on KGSR.  I listened
eagerly, hungry for more.  Would I like a cassette of the
interview?  Like, duh...

When I drove to the station to pick up the package he had
left for me, I saw it included the two CDs he had promised,
as well as the cassette interview, and photocopies of the
"Apple Venus" press release and several recent magazine
articles about the band.

So... have YOU contacted your local radio station yet?
Do it now.  RIGHT NOW!  Slacker.

I'm not sure of the date or time, but you can listen to the
interview via the Web.  See:  http://www.kgsr.com

I've asked Jody if I can have a copy of the transcript of
the interview.  If I can get the electronic source, I'll send it
to you Chalkhills Children.  The first third of the discussion
will be old news to those of you who have been reading
Chalkhills for a while, but the rest of the interview offered new
insight into the enigma that is Andy Partridge. Fascinating!

Now, quit reading Chalkhills and contact your local radio
stations!  Then cross your fingers for luck such as mine!

Jill Oleson

------------------------------

Message-ID: <E3B777F7C741D211A2C100A0C9DCF97B0179C172@MSE9TH1.barnesandnoble.com>
From: Greg Marrs <gmarrs@book.com>
Subject: How Much is that Patridge in the Window?
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 15:12:39 -0500

While taking a much need lunchtime stroll down Bleeker Street in NYC today,
I noticed an odd looking instrument and its small accompanying shrine in the
window of Matt Umanov's guitar shop.

The guitar was a Fano, and the "shrine" was an 8x10 foto of our hero, AP.
The guitar is for sale; the photo, sadly, was not...

XTC tune currently echoing in the brain: Ship Trapped In the Ice.

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19990122202535.7547.rocketmail@web1.rocketmail.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 12:25:35 -0800 (PST)
From: nross <phoenixyellowrose@rocketmail.com>
Subject: Heaven.

In digest #66:

One of David Gershman's top 10's of 98:

I aquired this in 99... but it will be on my list then...
Hole! Hole! It IS great. David, you summed it up well when you
said Courtnety is a brat and proud of it! Aside from being able
to identify Billy Corgan's influence in various songs... its Courtney,
rude screams and all!

Just wanted to add my vote!

On Transistor Blast!

It is great great great. I got it for Christmas... I play a CD
from it at least once a day. It makes me wish I were older (were?)
so that I could have seen them play live. They are just too good to be
real. I love "Snowman"... I REALLY LOVE "One of the millions", though
it makes me depressed. I didn't know Colin wrote "I'll set myself
on Fire"!!!!!!! I think I am just beginning to find the identifying
characteristics between Moulding and Partridge! Well, anxious on Jolt,
listening to Hole, not working at work... I leave you.

Oh... and Molly! Wow, your latest post, I thought you would be huffy
with all the comments sent your way. You are a trooper though!
I know MY respect would mean absolutely NOTHING to you, but you have it
for the moment, anyway. With your previous statements, you really did
offend some people... for you to realize that and take responsibility
for it... makes me want to swallow my words and shit them out. Put
us all in our places! You go girl! Woo hoo! (TOO MUCH JOLT IS NOT
A GOOD THING)

Peace, Nicole...

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 19 Jan 1999 10:33:53 -0600
From: Dominic <chaumontd@videotron.ca>
Subject: My Top 10 of 98
Message-id: <36A4B3F1.2D10@videotron.ca>

Hey,

here is my top 10 of 1998 :

1- Elliott Smith's "XO"
2- Rufus Wainwright's self-titled cd
3- Mark Eitzel's "Caught In A Trap And I Can't Back Out 'Cos I Love You
Too Much, Baby"
4- Son Volt's "Wide Swing Tremolo"
5- Liz Phair's "Whitechocolatespaceegg"
6- Cake's "Prolonging The Magic"
7- Sinead Lohan's "No Mermaid"
8- Wilco and Billy Brag's "Mermaid Avenue"
9- Lucinda Williams' "Car Wheels On A Gravel Road"
10- Juliana Hatfield's "Bed"

Take care !

Dominic
Montreal
chaumontd@videotron.ca

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19990122205841.27349.qmail@hotmail.com>
From: "Jason Garcia" <hhname@hotmail.com>
Subject: Their names both have three letters, after that, nothing in common
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 12:58:39 PST

Yep, that's right, more of the same.

The problem with this silly R.E.M. vs XTC debate is that people are
comparing them like they're a similar style.  R.E.M. and XTC are nowhere
near similar in style, form or intent.  I am a huge fan of both bands,
and they keep switching positions (second and third) in my echelon of
fave bands.  But they simply cannot be compared to each other.  Here's
why:

Andy is all about words and how they trigger cerebral responses in the
listener.  Most of the positive comments I hear about XTC relate to
Andy's clever wordplay.  The remainder of the comments are usually
directed at the off-kilter arrangements that the band dream up.  Again,
appealing to a love of technical, stylistic devices in music.  Someone
mentioned "Runaways".  I would probably have to throw in "Cynical
Days"...I'm sure you all have your favorite arrangements.

What I've found about R.E.M. is that it's not so much what Stipe is
saying, but how it's delivered and the overall FEEL of the song.  Just
as one listens to ambient music for a "mood", so is a good chunk of the
R.E.M. catalogue:  it sets a mood.  Anything from "Laughing", from
"Murmur", to "E-Bow the Letter" from "Adventures" to "You're in the Air"
from the absolutely GORGEOUS at times "Up".  Of course, they rock out
too, just like XTC does at times.  ("Pageant", "Document")

The same person also mentioned that "Stipe couldn't write a lyric half
as beautiful as 'No Language'"  I think that's just absurd, and suggests
to me that the writer may not be very familiar with Stipe's work... that
comment just illustrates my whole point, that it's very difficult to
compare their lyrics because they're not trying to do the same thing.
Personally I find "No Language" too blunt and obvious.  Something like
"Sad Professor" from "Up" hits me more:  "everyone hates a sad
professor/I hate where I wound up" He may not be writing directly from
personal experience, or even saying a direct thing, but the insistent
churn of the music and the sound of his voice convey a FEELING better
than clever wordplay or weird arrangements.  In that sense, Buck and
Mills are brilliant instrumentalists.  Listen to "You're in the Air"
from "Up" and THEN tell me they suck.

I love both bands.  I'm eagerly awaiting "Apple Venus".  But R.E.M.
don't deserve wrath.  They are a different style for a different time
and place.

Back to lurking...
Jason (TOP 40)
http://www.angelfire.com/tx/top40

------------------------------

Message-ID: <36A8EB9F.7A4@heraldonline.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 16:20:32 -0500
From: BPeschel@heraldonline.com (Bill Peschel)
Organization: The Herald
Subject: Record snobbery

Greetings;

Considering the number of times I've seen Elvis (Costello, not Presley)
and Burt (Barachat, not I. Gordon) praised on this list, I highly doubt
that Chalkers are as anti-mainstream as some would think.

Sincerely,

-- Bill Peschel
(Urgently sweeping his Styx, Bob Seger and Billy Joel albums out of
sight)

------------------------------

Message-ID: <71118473695DD211967A0060B06805D46588CE@MSGBOS629NTS.fmr.com>
From: "Sawyer, Keith" <Keith.Sawyer@fmr.com>
Subject: AV single
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 16:19:00 -0500

Peter Fitzpatrick asked:
<<I have no idea if Cooking Vinyl are promoting a particular track for radio
-
maybe they can let us know if there's a 'radio' track we should request.>>

Here in the US TVT will be pushing "I'd Like That" as the focus track for
radio.  Not a single in the classic sense of the word, but then again Top 40
is now an irrelevant format in America.

So everyone now knows what to request ...
keith

"The present just repeats the future and the past"
United States of America, 'Coming Down'

------------------------------

Message-Id: <199901222207.RAA01002@sgi.com>
Subject: Sources for Andy and Terry interview tapes
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 99 16:07:05 -0600
From: steve <schiavo@home.com>

Here are the contact people for copies of Paul Culnane's October 1998
interviews with Andy and Terry.  John Boudreau is the contact for Japan
and Edward Percival is the contact for the United Kingdom.

You can work out any deal you wish with the contacts, but the minimum
requirement would be to send them 2 90 minute blank cassettes and return
postage and packaging (or something to offset the same).

The Americas
------------------------
Troy Peters, troy@vyo.org
David Ferguson, dferg@dhol.com
Alan Martin, Alan.Martin@ncxix.hcg.eds.com
Bob Estus, bestus@intergate.sonyinteractive.com

Japan
----------
John Boudreau, aso1@mocha.ocn.ne.jp

United Kingdom
----------------------------
Edward Percival, epercival@meshplc.co.uk

------------------------------

Message-Id: <s6a8b1d2.016@dineout.org>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 17:13:27 -0500
From: "Jason Hauser" <JHAUSER@dineout.org>
Subject: Scissor Man let loose on #5-66

Dunks said of REM:
 waffly,unintelligible wilfully obscure meanderings of such yawn-inducing
ordinariness
Then said:
I and many others who liked the band's earlier work...
These statements are contrary.  In your diatribe, I found *one* thing to
nitpick about.  See, I'm getting in the spirit.  Great post, though I defy
anyone to recite the lyrics of "Gardening at Night"

Mitch Friedman mentioned Fuzzy Warbles.  I love boxed sets.  Not just cd's.
Anything!  Use your imagination.  C'mon, keep it clean.

Re: People can be so touchy
Backstreet Boys, eh?  And you married this guy.  Is his name Jonathan?  Or
perhaps Mikey.  Does he sulk around the house in a tan bandana and acid
washed jeans?  Does he say "Yo" a little too often (like, once)?  Just
teasing, you did ask for it.

Keith Sawyer said:
Commercial radio is a completely different dirigible.
This sentence is, um, out there.  Who talks like this because I wish I did.
Seriously.  Isn't that a blimp type deal?  Off to the dictionary!

When will Yazbek be in DC?  A lot of people on this list are impressed, I'd
like to see what I'm missing.

I have a feeling Dom is smarter than you're average bear.  And, in
accordance with prophesy, a very lonely man.  I'm just kidding, your posts
are great.

ChuChu

------------------------------

Message-Id: <s6a8b6e9.021@chemonics.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 17:21:11 -0500
From: Todd Bernhardt <tbernhardt@chemonics.com>
Subject: MK, PPP, MFSL

Hi:

Of Mike Keneally, Duncan Kimball said:
>He'd be the most nifty, tough and bitchen replacement for Dave that I
can think of. Let's hope it comes about! <

Others have also talked about replacements for Dave, but let's face
it, folks -- it _ain't_ gonna happen. Right now Andy and Colin "own"
XTC. That means they're responsible for the risks involved in this
business venture -- because that's what a professional band surely is
-- as well as for the rewards, and I don't see why they'd need or want
to cut the pie into more pieces than they have (or need) to! Using
hired guns in the studio gives them creative control and flexibility
-- they discovered that when Terry left. I just can't see the benefits
of bringing in another member, esp. when they're a studio-only band
already well-versed in the art and technique of playing their
instruments.

Good news from the home front. Thanks, Mitch.

Falling off the peace train, Nicole said:
>I'll gratefully accept interpretations of [davidoh's] postings! <

Okay, you asked for it. I shoved this precious piece of prose ...

>i hearby declare that from this day 4ward, i will _not_ be changing
my "style". if u don't like my "style", fine, use the damned page down
key. i really don't give a fuck! i do, however, feel that the content
of me posts have been more on topic than thoze who r throwing stonez.
i am _not_ "trying 2 b clever", this iz the way i prefer 2 type & i
won't b changing it anytime soon, ok? <

... into Alta Vista's translation engine, translating from "English"
to Spanish and then back again, and here's what I got:

>i hearby declares that as of this day 4wao, will _ _ is not changing
my " style ". if or does not have taste of my " style ", fine, down
uses the cursed key of the pagination that really I do not give fuck!
nevertheless, I feel that the content of me the posts has more been in
subject than thoze that stonez that lance of ready r. _ _ " I am not
trying 2 b ", this iz the way which I prefer 2 type and nonb that
changes it at any time soon, OK?<

Okay, basically as understandable as Dave's post, but with the added
benefit of two great names for a band (John Irvine, are you out
there?):
"The Cursed Key of the Pagination" and
"Stonez That Lance of Ready"

Of XTC, Nicole also said:
>My husband hates them. My husband calls them crap. My husband won't
let me play the damned CD's in the car. I know I cannot change his
opinion... he likes the Backstreet Boys. <

Leave him. Immediately. Come to Papa.  ;^)

Our esteemed moderator and site-munger John R. said:
>but really, the sound is much improved on the Gold MFSL CD. Try
comparing in headphones.<

Got to agree with this. The difference is subtle, but it's there on
both the O&L gold CD and Skylarking. As John noted, "The bass is
cleaner and clearer, the separation is better."

--Todd

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19990122222320.28602.rocketmail@attach1.rocketmail.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 14:23:20 -0800 (PST)
From: Brian Danks <bdanks@rocketmail.com>
Subject: Re: Buying on the day of release

>Huw wrote:
>A lot of people on this list have said that they
will >be ordering Apple Venus 1 on-line or have
already got >preview copies, but does anyone like me
prefer the >thrill of actually going down to the record
>store on the official day of release and buying it
>then, knowing that after the years of waiting it is
>finally here.

I am with you man - this is the reason I don't have
TB yet. I have visited every record store within 20
miles - (I am in Southern Calif for heaven's sake!)
and haven't been able to hold it in my hends yet.
When I do, it will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine!

Brian D.

------------------------------

Message-Id: <3.0.5.32.19990122154132.00867db0@pophost.micron.net>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 15:41:32 -0700
From: Phil Corless <philco@micron.net>
Subject: More Spousal Abuse

My wife couldn't care less about XTC, but the other day
I caught her wearing my Chalkhills t-shirt and whistling
"Candymine"...... Ah, my evil brainwashing scheme is working!

- Phil C. in Boise

------------------------------

Message-Id: <3.0.5.32.19990122150221.00825cd0@mail.adnc.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 15:02:21 -0800
From: studio seventeen productions <ambient@adnc.com>
Subject: reminder - rare English Settlement tour buttons - going,

This excellent condition original English Settlement tour merchandise set
of two buttons is up on auction at ebay, and the auction is closing
tomorrow....so check them out at:

http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=57360489

I bought them at the next to last ever XTC show in San Diego in '83, and I
am selling them off with all my other music memorabilia.

thanks!

signed,

unwilling lurker at 17

------------------------------

From: Adamette1@aol.com
Message-ID: <6dfdf5f9.36a906e9@aol.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 18:16:57 EST
Subject: Here Here

Chalk,

Huw Davies wrote in Chalk#66:
"A lot of people on this list have said that they will be ordering
Apple Venus 1 on-line or have already got preview copies, but does
anyone like me prefer the thrill of actually going down to the record
store on the official day of release and buying it then, knowing
that after the years of waiting it is finally here. It seems like
much more of an event that way. All I know is is that I will be down
at my local record store at 9am, when it opens, on Feb. 23rd
(assuming that this is the definite UK release date) to buy AV1. It's
much more fun than waiting for it to come through the post. I don't
think I have ever anticipated an album this much in my life. Let's
hope it lives up to expectations."

I say, YES!  Absolutely.  I have no bad feelings of jealousy toward anyone
with an advanced copy or anyone who has pre-ordered a copy of AV1.  More
power to you.  I hope all of you enjoy your collective experiences.  I
choose to celebrate this much anticipated event in the way described above.
I love to go into a store within minutes of its opening, find the display
for the new CD (or in the case of XTC I may have to ask the desk clerk to
break the seal on the box that they were shipped in), pick it up, and be a
part of the whole right of passage that is participating in music loving.  I
may even carry it around the store with me for a few minutes, giving every
opportunity for other customers to see what I've chosen (not to "brag" but
to ADVERTISE).

     I bought TB through TVT and saw the release date come and go and no CD.
I waited around for several weeks wondering what the CD I'd already paid for
might sound like.  I finally found myself in a Best Buy store in Fort Wayne,
Indiana where I found the apparent last copy of TB.  I picked it up and
proceeded slowly around the store for a few minutes before paying for it,
exiting the store and RUNNING to my car where I slid in the discs to my 10
disc changer.  This was much more satisfying than my experience a week later
(about 4 weeks after the release date) when I found a beat up box sadly
lying by my door with TB inside it.  So I have two now, anyone want the
other (unopened) for a "nice price?"

      I believe that I will also buy the vinyl version of AV1 (which would be
the first in 10 years for me) just for the cover art and for a keepsake.
Thanks cooking vinyl!

      Eagerly awaiting: 1) AV1 2) a moratorium on R.E.M. thread

      Patrick

------------------------------

Message-ID: <36A8F9C4.A3260C26@averstar.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 18:20:54 -0400
From: Harrison Sherwood <sherwood@averstar.com>
Organization: Averstar, Inc.
Subject: He Eats with Relish and Ketchup the Inner Organs

Say, gang, I've got a corker of an idea.

Let's us talk about some trivial things we like! You know, a bit of this &
that.... Let's...chew the fat!

I've got some yummy fat right here, just came in in the diplomatic pouch
from Bogota...exotic alpaca suet, dripping with nutritious complex
ribonucleic molecules and tantalizingly redolent of the Altiplano. You can
wash it down with a glass of stout, this Dominion Brewery stuff'll curl your
hair... Say, I've noticed that Raelbrook shirt of yours really shouldn't be
tucked in like that, fashion faux pas, just let the sucker hang out, down
around your knees, attaboy.

------

So I don't know about you, but I'm not much of a one for this supernatural
divination flapdoodle. Generally, when it comes to reading the Signs and
Portents in the stars, or in the I Ching, or tea leaves, or the wrinkles in
your palm, or the entrails of sacrificial animals, I pretty much yawn and
change the channel. You can stichomancy where the sun don't shine, dig?
(Although, I have to admit, it gave me a bit of a turn not long ago when the
word "Cthulhu" appeared on my liver and onions at our local French eatery,
La Gribouillage du Bain Modifie, but that turned out to be just a few errant
sauteed onions. But my wife's _estouffade de cerveaux a cru Hermine_ very
clearly spelled out "Krafft-Ebing, Psychopathologia Sexualis, p. 345," and
we immediately rushed home, read up, and had the filthiest sex of our
lives. But I digress. Can you blame me?)

No, I'm a pretty solidly grounded guy, and generally don't have no truck
with the metaphysickal. But I do have to admit to possessing one mild
superstition: if you can make a nifty anagram out of a name, that _tells_
you something about it, by Gadfrey! It's a lot more concrete, anyway, than
the sort of silly goop you get from Sydney Omarr or the Psychic Hotline.

Now I know we've got a Major Event coming up here in our little Chalky
universe, a serious upheaval the likes of which has happened only once since
this group started in 1989. And it's likely that many of us are looking
forward to the release of a new XTC album with an anticipation bordering on
the carnal--or the carnivorous, if I read the mood of the group aright. So
as a little exercise in divination--and as a diversion from the arrant
bitchiness that's been on display lately--I thought I'd try a little
soothsaying based on my favorite harbinger, the Anagram.

I lit a few joss sticks and donned my tall pointy Merlin hat, becomingly
bedecked with moons and stars, and, making necromantic passes in the air
with my hands, I fed the album title, "XTC Apple Venus, Volume I," to the
Mojo Hand, an ancient mystickal divination tool once used by the Druidic
cult in pre-Roman Britain. The first attempt failed (it "crashed," to use
the Crowleyan term), but after allocating a little more Runic RAM to the
Mojo Hand, I achieved a satisfactory reading. And O my brothers and sisters,
the revelations that did themselves reveal! It becomes evident that Messrs
Partridge and Moulding chose well--and revealingly!

For instance, it has been put forth in discussion that Apple Venus is a song
cycle in which Andy P. acknowledges the end of one relationship (with
Marianne) and celebrates the beginning of a new one (with Erica Wexler). But
what went wrong in the Partridge marriage? Is there a clue in EX PLUS VULVA:
IMPOTENCE? Well, I don't know, but I think I'd find LUNATIC VEXES LOVE PUMP
pretty probative. If we're looking for a root (ow!) cause of the problem,
need we look any farther than OCTAVES UNVEIL PLUMP EX? I think not! At any
rate, I'm sure it did INVOLVE ACUTE PLUMP SEX. But in the midst of all this
depressing evidence of a marriage breaking down, is it not understandable
that VULVA UP; SEX INCOMPLETE? One imagines a marriage counselor advising,
CLIMAXES EVOLVE; PUNT UP! So along came Erica, an EXCLUSIVE OPULENT VAMP,
who complimented Andy on his EXCLUSIVE LOVE PUMP TAN and showed him her
EXPLOSIVE NAVEL TUM CUP, and, wellsir, it was Katy bar the door. EVIL VAMP
EXULTS--POUNCE! You know. CUE INVOLVES LATEX PUMP, worra worra, while the
APEX INVOLVES CUTE LUMP until VIXEN CLEAVES LOUT PUMP. Mmmm... I love new
relationships, all that experimentation, he EXCLAIMS UP UPON VELVET.

But what about the music itself? Yes, what of that? I think we can expect
"VOX UP PNEUMATIC LEVELS," of course, and "EXTENSIVE LUMP UP VOCAL."
Natch. It was ever thus. As for the cover art, be prepared not to let the
"COMPLETE VISUAL PUN VEX" you. It's always tough to understand the first
time through.

Well, that's it, kids. I now come out of my divination trance, remove my
wizard chapeau, and smile seraphically. Sorry? Hermetic Order of the Golden
Dawn on line two? Take a message, willya honey?

------

Hmmm. Maybe something to this I Ching business after all. I just consulted
an online I Chingada, threw the digital coins, and got this:"Upper Nuclear
Trigram: Khan: Water, Gathering (like rain, droplets become oceans)"

Innaresting.

------

Did you know that in the days leading up to D-Day, in early June 1944, there
appeared in a crossword puzzle in a major US newspaper many of the code
words that were being used by the Allied armies in planning the Normandy
invasion?  Isn't that a hoot?

Harrison "MUSIC PEOPLE: VULVA NEXT!" Sherwood

------------------------------

Message-ID: <36A9426E.5E10@schoollink.net>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 19:30:54 -0800
From: Dan Phipps <phipps@schoollink.net>
Organization: CIC
Subject: Anxious for AV1

Hi all! --

Sounds like everyone out there is as anxious for
Apple Venus 1 as I am!!  It's definitely nail-biting
time for lots of XTC fans and God does it feel good to
be this excited about something again for a change!!

Hurry up and release this album, guys!!!

Later 'gators --

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
/Dan Phipps <phipps@schoollink.net>

"I would have made this instrumental,
 but the words got in the way."
(Andy Partridge)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

------------------------------

Message-ID: <36A8DB92.5D9DE355@erols.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 20:12:03 +0000
From: "Neal H. Buck" <nealhbuck@erols.com>
Subject: Then it Appeared...

Chalkdusters (Who ya gonna call?),

You folks have been having a good influence on me. I've been a long-time
fan, and in the 80's was an avid listener of XTC. I was a bit
disappointed w/ "Skylarking" (esp. since I'm also a big TR fan), loved
O&L, disappointed again w/ "Nonsuch." Between that and the lack of new
material, my XTC listening had slowed to a crawl. I partly joined this
digest as an exercise in e-mail/Web/internet immersion. Now that I've
been regularly exposed to everyone's opinions/revelations I've once
again become more XTC-conscious. I've gone back to "Nonsuch" and
discovered the parts I would've if I had given it a chance in the first
place. In other words, there are still tracks I don't like/get much
("Humble Daisy," "Crocodile,"), but more others I really like ("Omnibus"
[should've been a single!], "The Smartest Monkeys" & "War Dance"
[obvious statements, but the music is great], "Wrapped in Grey"). The
remainder I just like. Hey, it's only been 7 years, but I got around to
it. Now for "Skylarking"...

On "suck" & "blow" - Uh, I think they refer to the same action, folks.
"Suck my ****," "Blow job." Get it? The only question is - why is that
BAD?

Isn't "Apple Venus" the first case where the band took the name of an
album from a previous song?

David Oh - Thanks for replying, but I think whether you like it or not,
you are being "artistic." Your style is a creative use of language
("creative" meaning "non-standard" - not a value judgement), and is
"expression" as you yourself say. "Art" is often defined as "creative
expression." It doesn't matter what the "artist" thinks, or whether
anyone else (even the creator) likes it. Sorry, you're stuck...

Todd Jones - I appreciate your attempt to encourage favorable
comparisons, but by comparing XTC to such pitiful things is like saying,
"XTC is better than shit!" I'd like to think they hold up to more
likeable phenomina, as well.

nross - Don't worry, this too, shall pass.

Never thought I'd be a regular,
Neal

------------------------------

Message-ID: <36A96198.7A8B@ix.netcom.com>
Date: Fri, 22 Jan 1999 21:43:52 -0800
From: Rich Bunnell <cbunnell@ix.netcom.com>
Subject: Prindle XTC Review Page

Hey Chalksters,

  Having finally acquired XTC's first two albums back in December, I was
at last able to put together a review page of our boys from Swindon for
Mark Prindle's Record Review site. It covers every album (and a couple
compilations) but it excludes Rag & Bone Buffet, at least until I can
find a copy and review it as well.

  The page is at http://www.users.interport.net/~aske/xtc.htm -- forgive
the crack on Andy's stage fright at the very top, it's a very general
thing to make some sort of joke about the band being reviewed at the
very top of the page.

  If anyone wants to read it, could you also be so kind as to send in
your own reader reviews for the albums? It'd help the page grow.

  Thanks!

*----------------------------------------------
Rich Bunnell or "Metal Man," whichever sounds more insane
http://members.xoom.com/taoster/
*----------------------------------------------

------------------------------

End of Chalkhills Digest #5-69
******************************

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