Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #5-333

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 333

                Thursday, 9 December 1999

Today's Topics:

              Another place to vote for XTC
                Diamond Cuts Nonsuch Gems!
                      Wicker's World
                  On the Platter/lennon
            more country music & pagan imagery
                       XTC MOMENTS
                 Revelations and nunsense
                  Rumblings & Ramblings
                        Mr Amazing
                       MiNsTer Hill
          Re: Chicken Soup for the Atheist Soul
                      Terry Chambers
                  Converting the infidel
                     Re: AV2 Drummer
             hope this doesn't start a thread
        Monsieur, monsieur, how about another one?


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To a secret shadow land.


Message-ID: <>
From: Jill Oleson <>
Subject: Another place to vote for XTC
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 09:44:44 -0600

Here's a link to another music poll where we can stuff
the ballot box with votes for XTC:

In addition to helping the band by voting for them and
"Apple Venus, Volume 1," you become eligible to win
the top 107 CDs of 1999.  It would be nice if a Chalker
would win, eh?


Jill Oleson
Austin, Texas


Date: 8 Dec 1999 08:23:06 -0800
Message-ID: <>
Subject: Diamond Cuts Nonsuch Gems!

In a recent post, Chalker Kevin Diamond opined that Nonsuch should have
ended after Rook.
I say, take a vacation! You can ride the Omnibus (a fun ride) to the
seashore. You can romp in That Wave! It's there that Then She Appeared!
Why, in the presence of such beauty you may find yourself contemplating
man's foolish War Dance (Oh! The Ugly Underneath!). At this point I would
recommend a weekend at the Bungalow where you can wear your favorite
colors (you don't want to stay Wrapped in Grey!). Later that night you can
save some text from the bonfire where Books Are Burning and let your soul
fly free and naked!!!

Whew! This vacation package is a real GEM!

On a different topic, here are my fav XTC moments:
1. All of That Wave
2. All of Holly Up On Poppy
3. Partridge/Trumpet duet in Omnibus
4. getting the chills from jealous winter sun.
5. super-cool and laid back friut nut
6. and I must second the clipped crescendos in Humble Daisy
7. Guitar jam in Pink Thing
8. and there's much, much more...


Message-ID: <>
From: "Jason Hauser" <>
Subject: Wicker's World
Date: Wed, 08 Dec 1999 07:29:18 PST

In response to David Oh's query:
>From what I've gathered from Monty Python, Alan Wicker was an annoying
interviewer with a distinctive style of speech and not unusual for these
people facial ticks.
The skit has several Wicker's, played by the entire cast, stranded on an
island, taking precious camera time from each other just to add a sentence
to the interview.  I remember some of the dialog:

"For THIS, is Wicker Island."
In bursts the next Alan Wicker
"An island inhabited entirely by ex-international interviewers, in search
of the, impossible dream."
And another Wicker
"A land, where one might say, we're losing a winning battle."
And another
"A sundrenched paradise, a carribean dream, where only reality is missing."
And another
"Where gin and tonics jingle, in a gyroscopic jubilee, of something
beginning with J."
"I talked to the island's only white man, Father Pierre.  Father Pierre,
why did you stay on here?"
Father Pierre, dons Wicker wire rimmed glasses, "Well, mainly for the
And so on.  Very funny skit.

Good XTC related stuff recently.  Sorry I can't add to it.  Well, I did buy
Homespun, and I'd Like That is great, and Easter Theatre, love the bare
bones guitar stuff, really makes the thought of writing a terrific song less
intimidating.  Pick a chord pattern, add some melody and a little heart and

Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanza, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!!

<signature line here>  Jason


Message-ID: <005801bf41a4$01680720$e4eaabc3@default>
From: "David Seddon" <>
Subject: On the Platter/lennon
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 17:40:21 -0000

Don't know about albums of the year, but I am very much enjoying Mark
Hollis' first solo album (1998), which is very sparsely beautiful.  I
enjoyed the last two Talk Talk albums, which were similar.  The remixed
Yellow Sub still gets a lot of plays here, as does the Nuggets boxed set
and AV1.

It's the 19th anniversary of Lennon's death and I echo the thoughts of
Michael Versaci.  I've not yet got over this and it still sends a chill
down my spine.

Her are a couple of poems which I wrote the day after his death:

John, I cannot express
My lost emotions at this thoughtlessness:
After all, I'm forever in your debt:
But you were just a human - a victim of the insane.


A gun went off
And a voice whispered darkly
"Come in number nine, your time is up."

In that instant,
How many of us wished ourselves there,
Clutching the digit?


and one a few months later...

He was dead on arrival.  They couldn't hide.
Tomorrow, his face would stare at them all
And they'd have to listen.

Not one of them did.

We waved his words at them, and they made them hollow.
His death changed nothing.


Date: Wed, 08 Dec 1999 09:54:04 -0800
Subject: more country music & pagan imagery
From: Daniel Duncan <>
Message-ID: <>

> I'd also recommend Steve Earle, The Supersuckers, Whiskytown, BR5-49, The
> V-Roys, and John Hiatt(the last not necessarily country, but his songs are
> mostly covered by country acts). Alt-country is practically the only
> contemporary music genre that interests me these days

Good on you, Coolidge! I'm a huge fan of the stuff myself.
excuse my off-topicness for a moment while I give you my personal
recommendations of (I prefer the terms Insurgent country or No
Depression, but whatever):

Paul Burch and the WPA Ballclub
"Pan American Flash" <-------- one of my top of the 90s!

Waco Brothers
"Cowboy in Flames" <---------- ditto

Pine Valley Cosmonauts
"Tribute to Bob Wills"

Wayne Hancock
"Thunderstorms and Neon Signs"

Robbie Fulks
"Country Love Songs"

email me direct if you are interested in knowing more about this genre. the
above are, I feel, rock-solid recommendations for any music lover, though
they may be a little jarring to the un-countrified ear at first.
* -----------------------------------
now, back to XTC:
the cover of 'Skylarking' features a line drawing of a man and woman playing
flutes. are these figures based on any actual mythological or historical
characters? do they have names? They look to me like wood nymphs. Is the
drawing a recreation of a detail from a historically signifigant Etruscan
vase or something? Judging from the hairstyle of the woman, I'm guessing
not, but I don't know for sure one way or the other.
once upon a time i came upon a web resource that defined all of the
historical and mythological references in xtc songs (who is Icarus, Nelson &
Hamilton, Fox Talbot, etc.) but i have no idea where it is now.
Who are the people on the cover of Skylarking?

Thank you in advance,
PS: I want to express that I feel the discussion of personal religious
beliefs or lack thereof on this list is inappropriate, personally offensive
to me, and really mucks up the music discussion. Keep the faith, but keep it
to yourself.


Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 14:08:00 -0500 (EST)
Subject: XTCSpotting
Message-ID: <>

Hello All Chalkhillians,

just a word about one of those sweet moments when you find XTC where you
least expected them to bob up. During the third installment of the
recently broadcast PBS documentary series "New York. A Documentary Film"
(directed by Ric Burns), the mellow and dreamy strains of "Frost Circus"
can be heard as the narrative inexorably moves towards the metropolis'
continuing transformations, as the end of the nineteenth-century draws
nearer. Very neat, except for the disappointment of not seeing XTC or Andy
Partridge acknowledged in the end credits... Anybody has a thought on the
why of that omission ?

The "Homo Safari Series" has put XTC in the unlikeliest company ; I still
remember how stunned I was when I heard "Egyptian Solution" on a local TV
station (in Quebec), as background music for a clip of sports footage,
quite a few years back. Any Chalkhillian cares to share any of those
strange encounters with the series' instrumentals? I'm quite curious to
gauge the extent to which those tunes are included in audiovisual
productions of various types.

Thanks for any help!

Mario Beaulac


Message-ID: <00ce01bf41b3$1826a340$172b883e@pbncomputer>
From: "chris browning" <>
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 19:32:45 -0000

what a question! favourite xtc moments - here goes - a very personal list

1. first strums of "senses" - first thing i ever knowingly heard of xtc. the
chords were so quiet, i assumed the batteries were dying on the walkman, so
i wodged up the sound and suddenly realised it was meant to sound like that.
either you give up with stuff like that, or you give a little more
concentration. happily for me i gave that extra concentration - no going

2. the lines "awaken you dreamers, asleep at your desks, parrots and lemurs,
populate your unconscious grotesques"  on "wrapped in grey" - something
about that "parrots and lemurs" bit moves me more than i can begin to say.
also a great xtc moment - finding the single for 50p in a second hand shop
in paignton. oh ho a happy crispy that day i can tell you....

3. the frantic keyboard and guitar assault after the last "neon shuffle" and
before the song rattles on to it's end. similarly i can't leave "white
music" without commenting on "radios in motion". i suppose we've all read
giles smith here on this matter? i cannot express how i felt when he managed
to articulate that song. "white music" is by far my favourite xtc album, not
because of how often i listen to it or the skill in writing or playing but
the sheer exuberance and unabashed energy in the whole thing. if "bryter
layter" reflects my melancholy moods, "white music" lifts me out of them.
and it's that extraordinary bass, drum, guitar and keyboard kick off and
andy's extraordinary yelping. goosebumps doesn't begin...but by then i'm too
far gone leaping to care...

4. "exploding truss.....caterwaulers from hell...the inevitable
grime......the goattees the way here to answer all
allegations that they're 1979's answer to the barron knights" and then *hoop
la* into "no thugs in our house". at last a genuinely funny band! my life's
search over!

5. "i say i like your coat, her thank you tugs my heart afloat" what a
moment! what a fantastic articulation of a moment i have lived through far
too many times for my liking! and it's on a round sleeve! *a round sleeve* -
xtc can be damn funny when it comes to packaging.

6. the little keyboard bit on "she's so square" - so simple but so
absolutely perfect!

7. the mad vocal flourish on "i'm feeling extrovert" - a song that i have
listened to many times when i know i have to go out and don't want to. kind
of a it's alright uncle andy's been there too. bit naff to admit that - but
it's also true.

8. the guitar motifs on - so many - "yacht dance", "outside world", the
xylophone or whatever on "mermaid smiled" and the bells on "snowman", the
piano intro to "respectable street", twisted guitar on "mantis on parole",
the intro to "vanishing girl",
the slow build to "battery brides", so many moments musically which mean
just as much as teh lyrics and or vocal performances/songs.

9. performing "man who sailed around his soul" on the "laughing
prisoner"/"tube" before i knew who this band were, and me thinking - thank
god - something batter than the hideous catterwaluing of siouxie and the

10. "burning with optimisms flames" - the whole "away away" response to teh
chorus. it made sense when i met someone who was most definitely burning
with optimism's flames. it is now her song. i can do that a lot with xtc
songs. they are incredibly personal but also - as this list shows - very
communal too.

11. "he's always saying what he's gonna do" on "one of the millions" - not
sure why. just that it is brilliant i guess

12. that the cover of "go 2" is obvioulsy very pretentious and slightly smug
but also still killingly funny.

13. "living in a haunted heart", "the good things" and teh wonderful AV1
demos that someone sent me years ago (i can't remember who you were, but you
were wonderful and liked gormenghast a lot) - mainly because it had the
fantastically wonderful "snowing angels" on it

14. "jump" - if you write nothing else andrew partridge, you wrote that and
i will be eternally grateful.

15. when i first put on "apple venus volume one", the first new xtc album
since i became a fan and the shiver down my spine that just hit when i first
heard the drop on "river of orchids" and only really faded after "the last

but mainly the fact that after thinking this through i know have all my xtc
collection scattered around me and want to stay up all night to listen to it
all. twice. and it still wouldn't be enough

i've rambled enough. sorry.




Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 14:37:08 EST
Subject: Revelations and nunsense

Hey Chalkers-

I wonder if our newest to Join the Digest caught his own pun in the following
statement, and it's subconscious connections to a particular song title on a
particular XTC album...take a quick review of the following....just for fun!
From: <From: "Nathan Mulac DeHoff" <>
Subject: Some Worthless Comments> From #5-330:

<You're probably aware of Their song "XTC Vs. Adam Ant," which I actually
see as a fairly weak effort as far as the Johns are concerned, but it did
bring the name of XTC into my consciousness.  I learned a little more about
the band, and, about halfway through my sophomore year, I decided to
knuckle down (love his skin) and buy Upsy Daisy Assortment.  It was an odd
assortment of songs, some of which I loved, and others that I didn't care
for all that much.>

Just having fun...I know, I know...have to knuckle down and get back to work
John Gardner


Message-Id: <>
Date: Wed, 08 Dec 1999 16:29:06 -0600
From: "David Martin" <>
Subject: Rumblings & Ramblings

Seventh Grade Says:

1. We vote for PAT TRAVERS to take the place of Dave G.
2. And what the Hell; Tommy Aldridge on drums. Kick it BaaBeee!
3. Why is there a picture of Aerosmiths Steven Tyler on the cover of
    O & L?
4. Do you ever feel like an XTC song? Today  I'm very "Dear Madam
Barnum". How bout ewe?
5. If a man says something in the woods and his wife isn't there to
hear him; is he still wrong?
6. Next week is finals week. Ten bucks says they won't study.
7. Godzilla beat the hell out of Bambi.
8. I must be a religious zealot. I've used hell twice in one posting.
9. Is that the sound of cloven hooves I hear?
10. At the time of this writing I think Andy getting ready for
11. The Vikings will rebound. Mark my words.

When you're tired of someone coming down on ya,  just say " You talk
a lot of Smack." That 'ill get 'um.

Senor Martin


Message-ID: <001901bf41d1$633744c0$be82b2d1@oemcomputer>
From: "Aaron Pastula" <>
Subject: Drums
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 15:10:12 -0800

> As I drummer, I was interested  in reading another poster's comments about
> Ringo and Terry. That solo on side 2 of "Abbey Road" may be spot on time,
> but it's still bloody embarrasing...

Perhaps, but the fills in "A Day In The Life" more than make up for it.



From: "Mark Strijbos" <>
Date: Thu, 9 Dec 1999 00:25:23 +0100
Subject: Mr Amazing
Message-Id: <>

Dear Chalkers,

Terry Chambers has been getting a lot of mentions lately - much to my
delight, i must add. My first XTC hero was without a doubt good ol'
Terry. My world temporarily fell apart when the news of his departure
reached me and i worried that the band would not survive.

> Nevertheless, if I were Andy or Colin, I would seriously consider
> giving Terry a shot at one of the next few albums.
YES YES YES - that's what i've been saying for years, bring back
Terry. Imagine what he could've done for The Big Express for

He added something special to the XTC mixture, a natural almost
primitive sense of rhythm coupled with a great taste for adventure
and experimentation.

The latter also made him useful material for the Lillywhite/Padgham
team, who happened to be looking for the perfect drum sound. And
together they created it on Black Sea.

> It sure would be interesting to hear what he could do with some of
> this new music.
Nobody could hit 'm like Terry did; nobody.
And, contrary to popular belief, Mr Amazing Terry Chambers has
_not_ thrown away his drum sticks for good. So who knows...

Of course it will never happen, but i will always carry a torch - or
better yet: a burning drumstick - for him.

yours in xtc,

Mark Strijbos at The Little Lighthouse


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 18:15:06 EST
Subject: MiNsTer Hill

I can't believe that this CD is not being listened to more
people.......please don't judge it by just what I am saying.........but if
you love'll have a keen interest and something excellent to
listen to while waiting for AV2.......Peace......Bob
Bob Bianco's Home Page


Message-Id: <l03130300b474017c8a66@[]>
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 08:18:46 -0500
From: "Christopher R. Coolidge" <>
Subject: Re: Chicken Soup for the Atheist Soul

>Cool stuff ain't it?  XTC was a real "godsend" to me.  I've often felt
>that Andy and I, though an ocean apart, have been on the same
>philosophical path for a long time.  I told Andy this in person when I
>met him in Tower Records in Boston.  (Someday I may yet relate the whole
>story of our meeting.)  These songs though are enough to make an
>atheist's heart burst with joy, sort of a Chicken Soup for the Atheist
>I guess that's enough for now,
  I'm more of a pantheist myself, meaning I believe in the truth and
validity of ALL conceptions of "God," including noGod. I disagree with
Andy's position, but I respect it- his is based on life experience and so
is mine. To me faith is not enough, you have to base your convictions on
personal experience. Some atheists, like an ex girlfriend who basically
told me she was an atheist because God as she understands it is something
she hasn't thought of much, are more interested in living life than
wondering how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, while others are
bitterly opposed to the very idea of a God. When it's taken to that
extreme(as I believe Andy does at times)you're actually closer to the God
of my understanding than someone who just goes to church on Sunday and
believes what his neighbors do.God is just a concept, and most importantly
a personal experience that reflects where you are in your relationship with
yourself and the world around you. It's not some guy who sits in the sky
and throws thunderbolts, it's whatever you want it to be. You tell God "you
don't exist," and it tells you "Yes, boss."
  I agree with Andy and most atheists I know that there's too much
fuzzy-brained thinking in both New Age and Christian circles. The god of my
understanding welcomes questioning and has a sense of humor. It(I refuse to
call it He)made me, after all.(Oh yeah, and Andy too!)I can learn more from
an atheist how to relate to the God of my understanding(by God I mean
whatever you want to call a higher power than yourself)because an atheist
will dare to tell me I'm full of crap, a fundamentalist Christian will tell
me I'm going straight to hell, and there's no room for argument or
  Incidentally, I mainly use the word God to denote a common reference
point for individual experience of the inneffable. Buddhism, after all,
dispenses with the common reference point altogether as irrelevant, and the
Buddhist teachings as I understand them are closer to the God of my
understanding than most. Its the direct experience that counts, whatever it
is. With that in my mind, here are some of the phenomena that occur on this
planet that prove to me God exists:
Andy Partridge's talent
Pet Sounds- The Beach Boys
Neither Pat Robertson nor Pat Buchanan have succeeded in being elected
President of anything
Sunsets over Lake Champlain
How I feel when I make love with my wife
Van Gogh
  These are just a few, but you get the idea. To someone else, this may
prove nothing they don't know already, but you can't cheapen beauty by
reducing it to chemical reactions and scientific phenomena, it misses the
point. To do so would be curmudgeonly(though technically correct). If you
believe in beauty, love and talent, you can say you're an atheist, but you
can't be because God is all these things.

Christopher R. Coolidge

Homepage at

"A Great law protects me from the government. The Bill of rights has
10 GREAT laws.  A Good law protects me from you.  Laws against murder,
theft, assault and the like are good laws.  A Poor law attempts to
protect me from myself."  - Unknown


Message-Id: <l03130300b474a9b8d277@[]>
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 19:46:01 -0500
From: "Christopher R. Coolidge" <>
Subject: Terry Chambers

>Nevertheless, if I were Andy or Colin, I would seriously consider giving
>Terry a shot at one of the next few albums.  It sure would be interesting
>to hear what he could do with some of this new music.  (And -- why not? --
>since Dave is [very unfortunately] gone for good, maybe they could
>convince Barry to play some keys on AV2.  Could be interesting...).
>- Jeff
  In the recent interview I read with Terry(it's on a website somewhere, if
you search the list archives with the keyword Terry Chambers, you may get
lucky and find the URL)he was retired from the music business and had no
interest in coming out of retirement. He was content to raise his kids,
work 9 to 5 and come home and flake out on the couch or have a pint down at
the pub. He did have fond memories of his XTC days and no bitterness
towards Andy particularly(though he did consider Andy a difficult cunt to
get along with; his very words practically). The only reason he agreed to
the interview was to officially put out the message that he wants to be
left alone to live his life in peace after the one last interview.   Once
the rules were established, though, he was quite amiable and talkative. He
was actually surprised that anyone was still interested in him, considering
he'd been out of XTC for over fifteen years and out of the music business
for at least ten. If any of you are considering tracking him down, he might
invite you in for an informal pint if he feels up to it, but leave the tape
recorder at home.

Christopher R. Coolidge

Homepage at


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 08 Dec 1999 18:51:53 -0600
From: chris vreeland <>
Organization: Vreeland Graphics
Subject: Converting the infidel

Happy impending solstice, all,

a LONG time ago, I saw this, and copied it. A creepily similar thing
happened to me:

>From: David Carson Berry <>:
> P.S.  I recently racked up another XTC convert: for a friend's
>birthday I gave him CDs of AV1 and Skylarking; he now sits at home
>each day, listening to "Easter Theatre" over and over again.

Follows an excerpt from "Chris, the Organic Ignoramus-to-Xtc-Fan
Conversion Module"

I play bass in a band that occasionally travels across Texas to various
nightclubs scattered hither and yon. Being a large state, it takes a
while to get anywhere from anywhere else, so I generally try to travel
well stocked with music. The lead guitar player in my band, who I shall
refer to as "Brian," and I usually ride together, as he and John bicker
like an old married....  ANYWAY, I had a compilation tape in the deck on
our way to Kerville on one particular occasion, with only one xtc song
at the end; Books Are Burning. We chatted noisily most of the drive,
until the tape got to the guitar solos, at which point Brian said "Wait.
What was that?" and rewound the tape. Again and again. The rest of the
drive was conducted in silence as he played the guitar solos OVER and
OVER. I'm guessing twenty times. Occasionally he'd mutter a "wow"
(Dave's part) or "man, that's weird" (Andy's part) and finally, when I
parked, he said "hey, can I borrow this tape?"
	Two weeks later, when I walked into his house to load out for
the next gig, he was sitting there with one of his acoustics, playing
along with the tape, and had the whole thing down note for note. This
is a man who, in high school, upon hearing Nigel declared them "shit"
and never gave the band a second thought. I immediately became more
hopeful, and loaned him the entire Nonesuch CD. He refused to give it
back "Just go buy another one!" he would say every time I asked for
it. This bummed me out, because it was the first pressing with the
cool printing on the outside of the jewel case and everything, but
proselytizing has its price, I guess.
	But that's not all! (groan, if you must) His birthday, falling in
February, gave me the perfect opportunity to gift him of AV1. He kind of
tossed it aside, and said "thanks, man." and for the next two weeks, my
entreaties of "Well?..." were met with not much of a response- too busy,
etc. Then again, two weeks later, I showed up for load out, (we don't
play all that much) and I Cant Own Her was playing as I walked through
the door. I said "Oh. How do you like it?" and he said "Man, this song
is incredible! "I've had this song on repeat for three days!" (While he
slept, bathed, went to work, all of it. I shit you not) ICOH played
again and again, for the next hour and a half, as we waited for John and
Mikey, then loaded out, finally turning off the CD player only so we
could move the disk into the van.
	He now owns the majority of the catalog, and swears he never said
anything bad about them back when.

Should I tell him about Chalkhills? Nah.

Favorite (today) XTC moment: A COMPLA (compla) CATED (cated) A COMPLA (a
compla) CATED CA CA CA........ chills after twenty years.

Chris "they'll take my typewriter from me when they pry it...." Vreeland


Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 17:15:54 -0800 (PST)
Message-Id: <>
From: John Relph <>
Subject: Re: AV2 Drummer

Kate Burda <> asked:

    Has there been any word as to who the AV2 drummer will be?  (Sorry
    if I've missed this one.)  I asked Andy back then about the
    possibilities, and he only said, "We've got someone in mind."

Mitch Friedman wrote in on 6 September with this bit o' news:

    The drummer they have used is named Chuck Szabo. He's an American
    and was highly recommended by engineer/producer Nick Davis (who
    had worked with him in the past).  Andy says that Chuck added lots
    of enthusiasm and energy to the songs and is quite thrilled with
    the grooves he played. The drums were recorded by a guy named Alan
    Douglas whose previous XTC claim to fame is that he engineered
    "White Music"!

I hope that answers the question.

	-- John


Date: Wed, 08 Dec 1999 17:20:31 -0800
Subject: hope this doesn't start a thread
From: Daniel Duncan <>
Message-ID: <>

There once was a lad from Nantucket
Who never would drink or would drug it.
When posting to chalkhills,
he told us "don't use pills,"
but most of do, so what of it?

actually i agree with you in principle, kevin, i just couldn't resist. the
"limmerick bug" caught me!
the alternate last line was

XTC were the first to "unplug" it,


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 1999 20:53:06 EST
Subject: Monsieur, monsieur, how about another one?


It is quite distressing to be confronted with evidence that one has failed
to be completely clear. Usually when one's audient misinterprets one's
words in a way that is in diametric opposition to the way one had meant
them to be understood, it is human nature to simply silently dismiss the
peccant individual as a slack-jawed unibrow. However, when not one or two
but *several* individuals evidence a misunderstanding of this magnitude,
it is time to point the finger of blame directly at oneself.

I apologize to one and all for giving you the impression that for 17 years
I have regarded the song "No Thugs in Our House" with howling
incomprehension.  Indeed, somewhere in the doldrums of the mid-Eighties,
along about my 235,987th listen to the song, the general gist of the
argument (what is referred to so charmingly by middle-school students the
world over as "what the author is trying to say") did in fact make itself
clear to me in a blinding flash of insight. Ah-ha, the Sherwood cerebellum
intuited through the marijuana fog in which it perpetually found itself in
those uninhibited days, Little Graham's parents are in *denial* about his
thuggery! Hence the song's *title*, you see! I then entered into that
exalted state of grace that hipsters call Getting It.

But, on Listen Number 567,243 in my car the other day, a TINY DETAIL of
the lyrical makeup of the song did indeed, for the first time ever, make
itself clear. It was this TINY DETAIL, and its relationship to the rest of
the song, that my post attempted to explore. Apparently, in discussing the
TINY DETAIL, I gave the impression that only recently had I managed to
noodle through the fruity import of the heuristics and logistics of "No

Please be so so good as to 86 this notion from your minds. As the call
girl said to the ticklish john, nothing could be farther from the tooth.

I AM Graham.


My fave-rave XTC Moment is the part where Colin's eeeeever-so-slightly
out-of-tune fretless intonation in the third verse of "All of a Sudden"
causes a matter-antimatter reaction in which a new black hole is born in
my left tweeter every fucking time, sucking my living-room furniture into
a wormhole to The Nth Dimension, and I have to work up a kick-ass Astral
Projection like wicked fast in order to get it back. Usually at the moment
when the Barcalounger rematerializes in its customary spot next to the
bondage rack (for you see, I keep my furniture in strictest alphabetical
order), I can hear a voice wafting in through the rapidly closing conduit
to The Other Side, a strange phase-shifty voice singing a cheerful yet
deeply stupid ditty about being Zonked Right Out (hee, hee!) onnnnn LIFE!
This happens with alarming regularity.

Or it might be Dave's guitar solo in "No Language in Our Lungs." It's a

Harrison "Cran...berry...sauce..." Sherwood


End of Chalkhills Digest #5-333

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