Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #5-319

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 319

               Wednesday, 24 November 1999

Today's Topics:

                 This past weekend sucked
                  Re: Greenman CD single
                     CONTEST WINNERS
                   another list o' mine
       The Man Who Sailed Around A Logical Argument
                        The Turks?
                      icons of Icons
                  Re: Soporific Swindon
                Perplexed in Hong Kong too
                That's spelled D-W-A-R-F.
                 killing turks in vietnam
                       Jingle Balls
              Re: Blatant self advertisment
                  Victor & Andy at G.L.R
                    John Paints Hedges
                    Re: Cocktail Party


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As they speak of child prevention.


Message-ID: <>
From: "garret harkawik" <>
Subject: This past weekend sucked
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 20:57:56 EST

The past weekend sucked for me for several reasons. First of all, I was
forced to go to a "fun" weekend "retreat" at some lutheran camp, but thats
not why I will always remember this past weekend as being particularly
sucky.  While I was there, some little jackass asshole assbutt of a kid
felt it necessary to jump on my clothing bag that contained all the cds I
brought.  The little shitsucker totally demolished my "English Settlement"
cd case!!!!!!  And scratched up the cd a little, too(I have not yet
listened to it to see what damage has been done yet because i'm too
depressed about the whole incident).  To retaliate, I dumped the contents
of his garbage can onto his bed, AND THEN I'M THE ONE WHO GETS IN
TROUBLE!!!!!!  I tried to explain to the authority figure that Mr. Crapnut
deserved to have hid garbage can unloaded onto his bed because of what he
did!  And also, a few dirty tissues that could easily be cleaned up
without a hassle was nothing compared to the emotional stress that I would
go through!  Mr. Authority guy had no empathy for me.

Garret "Crying himself to sleep" Harkawik


Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 20:06:58 -0600
Message-Id: <>
From: Dave Hughes <>
Subject: Re: Greenman CD single

At 09:13 AM 11/22/99 -0800, Dan wrote:
>saw in a recent issue of goldmine where
>a guy named david tyson is offering the
>"greenman" single on cd for only $3.
>does this mean that this single actually
>does exist???

This is probably the promo single for radio (without demo version and "the
making of Greenman" on it).

>would love to have it!  (big sigh)  this
>is definitely worth looking into, i feel.

If it is edited down a little, it might be interesting to hear.
* --------------------------------------------
Dave Hughes
Host of "Late in the Evening"
Nebraska Public Radio
* --------------------------------------------


Message-ID: <>
Date: 22 Nov 99 21:20:05 PST
From: vee tube <>

       First of all I need to say something,

                 THANK YOU!

 Every body who entered the contest and,
       all of you who enjoyed it.

          (even that lawyer guy)

  I had a few things I was trying to do here...

1. Lighten up the "Hill"(at least for a few weeks)

2. Increase the XTC CONTENT!(sneaky little pan-
       dimensional fin-oid,I am, I am)

3. In my own selfish way I take much joy in
 bringing a little sunshine into each and every-
      bodys life. (I hope I at least helped.)

4. I know no one entered the 'contest' for the
 prizes. I have received many off post E's from
  humans who told me how much fun they've had.
         (I'm not worthy)

           So Who Won?!

            runner up # 2


             runner up # 1


      (it was a tie, if you must know)

           What do they WIN?

One! of these CDRs.

1. The 'Bull'

2. "Best of the Bootles"(includes a live 'acoustic'show
 from KROQ and the best sounding/unique versions from my
 somewhat limited XTC boot and import single B-side stuff)

3.Squeeze B-sides(mainly 'Fantastic Place) stuff.

4.World Party B-sides(mainly 'Jumbo' stuff)

               GRAND PRIZE?
                (all four)

             The UNNAMAILER!

 I'm sorry about this one but,ever since I was Fin-high to
     a Mudshark, I've been a BEEFHEART FREAK!

   Before there was XTC there was...

           Captain Beefheart!!!!!!!

         (see Vol.5 #312 RE: SPUDS)


    I have nothing more to say.



                 }OOOOO:)     <---Stuffed


Message-Id: <>
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 00:31:47 -0500
From: David Oh <>
Subject: another list o' mine

ok, it was asked, so i've responded, sort of...

here is my list of the cds i've bought in the last year, in the order of
purchase, too. i guess that makes them my 'best of 99' cds...

xtc - apple venus volume 1 (met andy partridge the same day, too!)
hendrix/band of gypsys - live at the fillmore east
brian eno/david byrne - my life in the bush of ghosts
eric johnson - venus isle (always queued after av1 - think about it)
joe satriani/eric johnson/steve vai - g3 live in concert (the video is
great, too!)
the who - odds and sods
limp bizkit - significant other
the offspring - americana
red hot chili peppers - californication (met them this past summer, too!)
xtc - i'd like that
the who - maximum r&b box set
thomas dolby - aliens ate my buick (finally found it after years of
xtc - easter theatre
xtc - homespun
frank zappa - roxy and elsewhere
frank zappa - cheap thrills

one that got away (saw it, didn't buy it, shoulda bought it, can't find it
xtc - explode together: the dub experiments

anyone see a trend in the above list? just asking...
also bought the following video tapes (in alphabetical order):

eagles - hell freezes over (never cared for them then, but i have new-found
	respect. i saw this video in a home theatre demonstration - i was
	blown away by the sound! very well mixed live show)
family values fall tour '98 (korn/limp bizkit/orgy/rammstein/ice cube)
david gimour - three dimensions in video music
hendrix - live at woodstock
hendrix/band of gypsys - live at the fillmore east
king crimson - the noise: live at frejus
king crimson - three of a perfect pair: live in japan (the better of the
two tapes)
stomp - stomp out loud (amazing stuff. see the live show, if you can)
the who - live at the isle of wight festival 1970
enjoy the up coming holidays, whatever/however you celebrate! (or even if
you don't celebrate anything!)

 peace & xtc,



Message-ID: <>
Date: 22 Nov 99 21:38:02 PST
From: vee tube <>
Subject: P.S.}---:)

P.S. I have just been informed by
 that lawyer jerk(S.PAUL[who claims
  his mother is NOT Mrs.Paul])
that I should post the following:



     (thanx Steve, I think you just
     saved me like,ya konw? about a
 million CLAMS!!!!!(old detective lingo)



Message-ID: <005301bf359e$77825bc0$785791d2@johnboud>
From: "John Boudreau" <>
Subject: The Man Who Sailed Around A Logical Argument
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 19:34:47 +0900

A message to Satanas re: his comments/arguments in Chalkhills # 5-317 :

Satanas ,

You have run rings 'round me logically - I give up !!! You win !

A message to all Chalkhills list members :

All ,

Please accept my heartfelt apology for taking up valuable space in
Chalkhills digests responding to the honorable Satanas' recent enlightening
posts . At his request I have done " research " and discovered that
everything he said ( Thanksgiving is a celebration of the " slaughter of
turks " ( sic ) ; it is perfectly legal to murder a dog and eat it in
America IF it is " in your culture " to do so , as in the case of his "
Phillipino friends " ; and that every bombing in the history of the world
was commited by a Christian ( or someone claiming to be a member of the IRA
) . Oh - and according to the Anthropology Dept. at the University of Walla
Balloo ; the human being is in fact NOT the " smartest monkey " ... turkeys
are .

No research required to discover that XTC is the greatest band on the
planet bar none ; and this is the best mailing list on the net .  Love to
all ...

John in Sushiland ( where it is perfectly legal to eat foreigners on the
second Tuesday of November in a leap year IF you are in Tokyo and spot a
comet in the southern sky at exactly 8:26 p.m. in the evening while
standing on your head in the Ginza )



Message-ID: <>
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 09:16:54 EST
Subject: The Turks?

What does Thanksgiving have to do with the Turks?  Are they so angry
now that they are having more powerful earthquakes than California.
That'll show us.  Did we even fight atgainst the Turks in any war or
anything.  I think the US might have faced off against them in WW I.
But correct me if I'm wrong, weren't things a lot more civil between
us during WW II?

Sorry about the lack of XTC content.



Message-Id: <v04220804b46086fe420a@[]>
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 10:02:33 -0800
From: David van Wert <>
Subject: icons of Icons

I enjoy making desktop icons in my spare time, and over the years
I've made a few from XTC related images. I decided recently to put
them up for grabs on my web site for people who like that sort of
thing. These are in Macintosh and Windows formats.

David van Wert <>

"I don't know about the rest of you guys, but these tight colonial
pants are killing me. I gotta change before I pass out!"
Patrick Henry, 1776 (later condensed to "Give me liberty or give me death.")


Message-ID: <>
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 12:11:23 -0600
From: Peter Mullin <>
Subject: Re: Soporific Swindon

The Lighthouse Keeper has opened the Star Chamber thusly:

> > Well, it _is_ Swindon, after all...
> Heresy, go wash your mouth with carbolic soap, you.. you... you
> infidel!!...Imagine yourself asleep in a car passing through
> Swindon. You get stuck in traffic and Andy walks by on the sidewalk,
> casting a curious glance at a guy who is snoring loudly in the
> backseat of a car.

But I have it on good authority that Himself (and Colin, and for all
we know, Mr.  Gregory) sleeps in Swindon on a regular basis.  And if
this is so, then I would be following the example of the Master; it is
you, then, you who would presumptuously attempt to remain awake where
those whose paper chord-marking hands you are not fit to shake do
succumb to the caresses of Morpheus, who are the schismatic (insert
any number of exclamation marks here)

> Your car.

Actually, I don't have a car...and it's a long bike ride from Nebraska
to Swindon (deep, too...)

> By the time your driver has said: "Hey man, quick! Look, there's
> that XTC dude you are always on about" Andy has already passed a
> corner, out of sight.

Perhaps humming to himself the first snatches of what will later
become a world-wide mega-smash hit "The Man Who Slept Through Swindon
Town" (and I'll leave to some of our clever "Turkey Nut" scibes to
propose some lyrics for _that_ one...)

Tongue planted ever-so-firmly in cheek,

Peter Mullin
(who doesn't think "Thanks for Christmas" is anywhere near the
"sarcastic put-down of a holiday they don't even believe in" by those
infamous "atheists", XTC, as it appears to be in the opinion of one of
our local Kultur-Kritiks...)


Message-ID: <00ae01bf35d1$04fa1b00$037b8bd0@t17fw>
From: "Simon Deane/Gina Chong" <>
Subject: Perplexed in Hong Kong too
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 00:37:21 +0800

I have to admit to having had similar feelings to Davidoh (remember he
wrote in the last Chalkhills:
<i dunno, i think i'm a little confused...
is it me, or has this digest gotten just a little bit weird lately? how
'bout a lot weird?
there's something about the past few digests has left me wondering; just
what the hell is going on in here?>).
I've just returned from holiday and all that free time got me to thinking
very profoundly about Chalkhills and the direction in which it has been
going recently. We have had Mr fflynt, the devil (himself), that guy who
wrote about the second world war, an apparent fish from outer space, in
addition to the revelation that Harrison Sherwood is apparently just a very
clever computer programme.
It occurred to me during the trip (in a dream, believe it or not, in which
XTC's original roadie, Steve Warren, also appeared  - as a roadie) that the
list might be under attack by aliens from outer space. Admittedly I'd just
read an article about extending the Internet into space so this might be
complete tosh....but you never know - the X Files isn't all bullshit, I'm
sure (_and_ it used to be filmed in Canada.....)
Perhaps a more plausible explanation is that our collective brains are
gradually being turned into a banana-like mush (just like the stuff my 13
month old daughter seems to like at the moment) by the recent content of
many "Chalkhills". As examples of my point I offer the posts about XTC
dreams, alternative XTC lyrics, musical equipment lists, posting etiquette,
logical arguments and Jeff Beck.
My vote is that we all take some time out from XTC, clear our minds and come
back after, say, 2 weeks all duly refreshed. Maybe then all this weird stuff
will go away and we can all get down again to some really interesting
discussions about our favourite group.
See you in about 3 weeks.
Simon Deane


Message-ID: <>
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 16:33:03 EST
Subject: That's spelled D-W-A-R-F.

>From: Satanas Diablo <>
>Subject: To turk or not to turk: Truth Revealed

[Merciful snip of 104 lines of rhetorical sludge, unprovable blanket
assertions, moronic received opinion, ad hominem spew, and hideous
spelling, all of which dramatically belie El Diablo's self-declared
invincibility in logical debate]

I'll say it as simply as I can: The only person I trust less than a
Christian who can't spell the word "atheist" is an *atheist* who can't
spell it.

Murder of Turks, forsooth! Let's see some documentation,
Socrates. Otherwise I'm tempted to come right out and say it: The reason
people ignore you is that they don't feel like talking to a hectoring,
contentious and self-righteous little dwarf.


From: "David Seddon" <>
Subject: Song of the Millennium

> Me, I'm going for Lily the Pink (second choice, Rawhide).
> After all she was "the saviour of the human race" and the Millennium is
> supposed to be about the birth of a saviour, so there you go!!!!!
> (plus, it was probably the first single that I ever bought).

Ahhhhh... Lydia Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.... Did ever a more congenial
topic rear its head in the Friendly Confines? The silly little "Lilly the
Pink" ditty co-written by Paul McCartney's wee bro Mike McGear and
Liverpool poet Roger McGough enjoyed a richly deserved popularity in the
mid-Sixties.  Like so many popular songs throughout history, there lurks
between its lines a coded historical document, a sort of guidebook to a
hidden social history that is a joy to explore. May I daintily invite you
to visit the excellent website of the Museum of Menstruation and Women's
Health at -- and especially the section devoted to
Lydia Pinkham and her patent medicines, "most efficacious in every case"?
The "Lilly the Pink" lyrics are reproduced at, and include the following bauble:

   Auntie Millie
   Ran willy-nilly
   When her legs, they did recede
   And so they rubbed on medicinal compound
   And now they call her Millipede.

Also at this absorbing (sorry!) site are several rather beautiful print
advertisements for the Vegetable Compound, reproductions of some of the
pages of Mrs. Pinkham's "Private Text-Book upon Ailments Peculiar to
Women," and sections on other patent medicines. The entire museum is very
much worth exploring at length. Where else would you be able to latch on
to the utterly beguiling fact that a Norwegian euphemism for menstruation
is "Kommunister i lysthuset," or "Communists in the Summer-House"?

Perhaps most fascinating of all is the list of ingredients for the

   Unicorn Root (Aletris farinosa L.) 8 oz.
   Life Root (Senecio aureus L.) 6 oz.
   Black Cohosh (Cimicifuga racemosa (L.) Nutt.) 6oz.
   Pleurisy Root (Asclepias tuberosa L.) 6 oz.
   Fenugreek Seed (Trigonella foenum-graecum L.) 12 oz.

...and last but certainly not least of these laudable ingredients...

   Alcohol (18%) to make 100 pints

Well, you didn't think it was the Black Cohosh that ladies undergoing The
Change bought and guzzled it for, did you? The museum proprietors also
point out delicately that Mrs. Pinkham's Compound continued to be
available during Prohibition, and in fact it enjoyed its greatest
commercial success during that benighted time. You can still buy it today,
although in a sadly adulterated form, which, according to a witness,
"tastes strongly of the ferrous lactate and lacks the old punch, and is
only suggested as a menopause formula." Not unlike "Chirpy Chirpy Cheep
Cheep," come to think of it.


Once again, I draw my Chalkie friends' attention to my new e-mail address.
This one is (D.V.) permanent. I know, it has the dreaded "" domain
attached to it, but perhaps your reaction may be tempered by the knowledge
that it's actually a *work* address, and I didn't choose it. I now infest
the User Interface Design dept. at AOL HQ out by Dulles Airport, assigned
to the Channels area, and by Barabbas' beard, I think I've landed on my
feet again.

If you want to get in touch with me, you can call me toll-free at
1-800-323-4848. Look forward to hearing from you!


Slaughter a Turk for Christ! Save the giblets for me!

Harrison "I've got an old Afghan we can use for stuffing" Sherwood


Message-ID: <>
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 16:24:10 -0500
Subject: killing turks in vietnam

A multitude of thanks are in order to those (and there were several) who
helped with my inquiry last month on post Vietnam era songs that dealt
with our (U.S.) shared cultural memory of the Vietnam experience,
American foreign policy, or anti-war sentiment.  Many of the songs (and
bands, for that matter!) I had never heard, and as I passed along the
list to my colleague, I wished him luck!

Anyway, I was able to compile a 90 cass. with material I already owned;
if you're interested I'm passing it along here:

19 - Paul Hardcastle / Beach Party Vietnam - Dead Milkmen / Camouflage -
Stan Ridgeway / 99 Red Balloons - Nena / Coup D'etat - Circle Jerks /
Holiday in Cambodia, Chicken Farm, When Ya Get Drafted - Dead Kennedys /
Foreign Policy, Let's Have a War - Fear / Army Song - Abrasive Wheels /
Short Memory, U.S. Forces - Midnight Oil / It's a Mistake - Men at Work
/ Goodnight Saigon - Billy Joel / Vietnam - Half Japanese / Charlie
Don't Surf, Car Jammin', This Is Radio Clash - Clash / Vietnamerica -
Stranglers / The Big Parade - 10,000 Maniacs / Vietnamese Blues - GBH /
Truck Drivin' Neighbors Downstairs - Beck / Hanoi - Gary Numan /
Generals and Majors, Living Through Another Cuba - XTC / Vietnam - Jimmy

Songs I don't have, but recommended:  Billy Bragg:  Tender Comrade / X:
Back to the Base / Redgum:  I Was only 19/ Cold Chisel:  Khe Sanh / New
York Dolls:  Vietnamese Baby / The Pop Group:  For How Much Longer Do We
Tolerate Mass Murder? / Fred Small:  No More Vietnams / President Leaky
Faucett:  Letter to Vietnam / John Lee Hooker:  Don't Wanna Go to
Vietnam / Lotion:  Marijuana Vietnam  / Master:  Return to Vietnam /
Phil Ochs:   Talking Vietnam Blues / Lee Harvey Oswald Band:  Panic in
Hanoi / House of Love:   The Beatles and the Stones / And other material
by Throbbing Gristle and Crass

For those who thought I should have included "War Dance" - while it does
have a strong anti-war theme, its content was too British:  Fleet
Street, national service, Churchill, etc. are not part of the American
cultural perception.  And for better or worse (mostly worse), Vietnam
was an American war.

If anybody can think of any more songs along this vein, don't hesitate
to pass them along.  Again, many thanks.

Off subject briefly - does anyone else enjoy sitting down to
xtcliveanddirect when you're working on the computer?  I sure as hell do
- it makes writing lectures and assignments go by much easier.  If only
my damn isp wasn't so slow... (but it's free!).  Ian is providing an
invaluable service here - kudos my friend.

And finally, I've joined a group of concerned citizens called the
meatitarians who are working judiciously to spread the word to help stop
the innocent slaughter of our vegetable friends simply for human
consumption.  We have pledged to eat at least four helpings of meat,
chicken, pork, fish, eggs, and cheese a day, and wash each helping down
with a tall, cool glass of milk.  Save the Veggies!


-Matt Hiner
University of Akron
Lakeland Community College
"Brain and brain!  What is brain?"


From: "Mark Strijbos" <>
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 00:52:34 +0100
Subject: Jingle Balls
Message-Id: <>

Dear Chalkers,

Religion keeps rearing its ugly head lately:

> Millions of people cellebrate Xmas though they are not Christians! (in
> reality, Xmas is a Pegan holiday actually).
No it's not. Xmas was cleverly linked to an existing pagan festival,
and incorporated many pagan symbols and icons. But that doesn't
make it pagan; after all it is the celebration of the birth of Christ, not

> I cellebrate eating a table with family, not the meaning!
say what?

there are one or two family members i wouldn't mind roasting but
i don't think i could actually stomach them; never mind a table!

yours in xtc,

Mark Strijbos at The Little Lighthouse


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 10:23:05 +1100
From: chrisc <>
Subject: Re: Blatant self advertisment

Thanks Iain, for putting me in your top 10 albums for '99!  If any of you
Chalksters out there are interested in having a listen to my stuff (Mp3
format) go to:'songs/

Would enjoy your feedback, and constructive criticism's (Please remember
they are demo's).  Busily remixing and re-recording at the moment........

Yours in XTC

Chris Chapman

PS: The song "Marching in the ranks of the lonely" was written a few years
ago, but I couldn't get any music to fit.  After listening to AV1, I was
inspired, so I owe the boys credit for that one!


Message-ID: <>
Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 17:23:23 +0000
Subject: Victor & Andy at G.L.R

Here is a picture of Andy Partridge and Victor Hobbs at the G.L.R
(Grator London Radio) station on October 14th 1998.

	[ See ]


Message-ID: <388229063.943420500232.JavaMail.root@web01.pub01>
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 00:15:00 -0500 (EST)
From: Satanas Diablo <>
Subject: John Paints Hedges

Good argument John.  Yes, I was refering to Constantinople.

As for demo's, I am trying to get as high quality as I can.  I am serious
about this.  If people help me, hell I will send CD's out to everyone
(well, to a limit!)

I have about 3500 CDR's sitting here waiting to be burnt off my 12X Burner
(disks are only 8X compatible though :( ) I am ready to make some XTC
CD's.  I seen a bootleg CD at this store that had a ton of singles and
other rare stuff, but I really dont believe in buying bootlegs nor would I
sell them.  I just thinks thats screwed up if you ask me.  I would pay a
few bucks, but not $15 of money that will never touch the groups hands.

Anyway, happy holidays to all.  Too many cooks in the kitchen... Who said
they hated that song?  I recall one of you did.  I love that.  To be
honest, there is really no songs I dont like.  I guess, after hearing
something too long you get biased!


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 00:51:59 EST
Subject: Re: Cocktail Party

Amen to Mike Myers comments! Enough of a pissing contest, yes it's ok to
get into a discussion about all this stuff but do we really have to do the
name calling bit. For those of you who have been around Chalkhills longer
and are familiar (either from meeting or corresponding with them
personally) with those folks you're roasting on list...well that might be
a different story.

While I usually find the witty remarks rather fun, I personally have begun
to skip past the nasty stuff. Let's stop (pardon the pun) knocking the
stuffing out of each other shall we? While I don't feel we need a hall
monitor (or email in this case) to make sure everyone behaves, I do agree
with Mr. Myers assessment of the situation. Debate is a little more lively
when we call each other names, but it takes a little more wit to agree to
disagree without getting into a pissing match.

XTC content:

I put off purchasing the Japanese Homespun because I had purchased the
American edition. I finally gave into temptation last week, so if there
are any of you that can't afford it or have purchased Homespun already and
would like a copy of the comments please let me know off list. I gave my
copy of Homespun to my brother (a big fan who probably won't listen to it
once or twice...then again maybe he will. He has surprised me in the

A suggestion to whomever is communicating with the band (or TVT, Cooking
Vinyl, etc.), for AV2 perhaps they could release a limited edition CD with
the demos as a bonus extra. I'd be willing to pay a little extra to get
it.  This way it will conform to the bragging done about how many copies
are shipped to distributors and give the fans something extra. Also, Andy
and Colin will make a little extra on the side.


End of Chalkhills Digest #5-319

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