Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #5-318

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 318

                Tuesday, 23 November 1999

Today's Topics:

        About the last message: The Truth Furthur.
                 Boring Boring Swindon?!
                  Favourite 1999 Albums
               Thanksgiving (I'd Like That)
                 Talk Amongst Yourselves
                  Bring back Unplugged!!
           Gettin' Post-Modern on Y'alls Behind
                Re: To turk or not to turk
                        Taco Bell
                     Harvest Festival
              The King Told The Boogie Man,
                   a pig's hill in y2k
                  Ramblings & Rumblings
                    thanks for turkey
                     Martina Newella
In which I fabricate an XTC dream of my own. Yeah, that's right. I'm lying.


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    Chalkhills is compiled with Digest 3.7 (John Relph <>).

Now they talk about absorption.


Message-ID: <388013073.943262642065.JavaMail.root@web05.pub01>
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 04:24:02 -0500 (EST)
From: Satanas Diablo <>
Subject: About the last message: The Truth Furthur.

Please excuse the spelling and errors in my last message.  Before everyone
acuses me of "eating tables" I would like to say that I only would eat
tables made of metal, because wood tables are bad for the enironment.  When
I "wronte" the last message, I was not paying attention to grammer or
spelling at all and my mistakes are many, please excuse them.

Have a happy new year everyone.  Wait, actually have a Happy new Century
(that dont sound right)!  Hopefully the 00's will be better than the 90's
(as far as music is concerned!)  I do not want to argue and ask you to have
the same respect for both me and John and the readers of this list to do the
same.  No more fake posts, or harrassing emails, or really nice posts about
me please.  Maybe, to make things better, I will change my name to Damien
Thorne.  That is a much nicer name than Satanas Diablo anyway!

My XTC question of the day is:
Is there another version for the song "New Broom"?  I love that song...


Message-ID: <>
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 10:29:44 +0000
Subject: Boring Boring Swindon?!


In #5-316 David Seddon opined:

> Swindon is only marginally more interesting than Milton Keynes <

Now that is really unfair - on Swindon that is - ain't nothing comes close
to being as uninteresting as Milton Keynes

and John Boudreau suggested:

> Thanksgiving is a public celebration in acknowledgment of divine favor <

Now that's a bit like saying that Christmas is simply a celebration of the
birth of Jesus. Sure, it might have been that way once upon a time (setting
aside any prior claims that the pagans may have had on that particular
festival), but commercial interests ensure that those aspects are only of
marginal importance nowadays

> Other than for use as food , a turkey has absolutely no reason for
existence on this planet <

Blimey, isn't that taking the 'God will provide' edict a little too far??

BTW it never ceases to amaze me the breadth of musical tastes on this list,
and there hidden in throw-away lyrical quotes in this digest were
references to 10 cc (from the main man, no less) and Genesis. What a
catholic (with a very small c) bunch we are

Oh, and Satanas old bean, you are welcome to your vegetarianism, but please
don't try to tell me that tofu 'tastes just like Turkey', nor that 'Spices
are what makes the meat taste good'. A goodly proportion of the meat that I
eat has no spices on it whatsoever, and tastes just fine to my palate,
thank you very much.

Cheers, Steve (who works in Milton Keynes, lives too close to Hemel
Hempstead for comfort, and once went to Swindon for the weekend and had a
fine time even though the trip had nothing at all to do with our lads)


Message-ID: <>
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 11:53:54 +0100
From: Volker Dieling <>
Organization: Universitaet Oldenburg
Subject: Favourite 1999 Albums

Hi all !

In #5-314 Travis wanted the favourite 1999 albums, so here they are:

1.  Sam Prekop                  Sam Prekop              Thrill Jockey
2.  Jim O'Rourke                Eureka                  Drag City
3.  Rachel's                    Selenography            Quarterstick
4.  Ken Ishii                   Sleeping Madness        R&S
5.  Various Artists             Everything Is Nice      Matador
                                (The Matador Records
                                10th Anniversary
6.  Nobukazu Takemura           Scope                   Thrill Jockey
7.  Wheat                       Hope and Adams          Sugar Free
8.  High Llamas                 Snowbug                 V2
9.  Various Artists             OST -  Tony Hawk Pro    Sony PSX

So, there's only nine, and reading this list you'll wonder: Where's
Stereolab and Mouse on Mars ?
Well, not on this as I haven't listened to both of them often enough to
call them favourites, whereas I know every note and every pause from Sam
Prekop to Tony Hawk. (except for Nobukazu Takemura, but that is an album
impossible to know a-z. Listen to it if you don't believe me, and no,
your CD player is okay, it's supposed to sound like that...)

Now, I'll go back doing a 720 Switch Indy Nosebone + 5-0 Grind + 180

residing in the Lemon Lounge at
Send your spam to
Save the Mudokons ! (and do it in style...)


Message-ID: <000701bf34e0$d0935b60$c133893e@atidy>
From: "Adrian Ransome" <>
Subject: Thanksgiving (I'd Like That)
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 11:57:10 -0000

Is celebrated by the Yanks
It's a day when they give thanks
for what- I don't know....

Prince Nelson Rogers or Principal, Victoria? -ha ha
She woke to find her Bobby was alive and in the shower
what a joke 'cuz he really was the man from Atlantisssssss...


We don't celebrate it here
But you just wait about a year and you'll find

That Clinton Cards is full of turkey/pilgrim tat. Oh that
is just like Trick or Treat, come down my street and try
I'll kick you in the nuts- Got the guts?
Coz I've polished my DM's for a kick-iiiiing!!!


We don't force Guy Fawkes night upon you folks
Our culture's vanishing, it's not a joke... I don't like that....I don't like

Hope you 'mericans have a blast
This is the verse that's last "thank god" you all say

You've taken umbrage at my poorly writted song? Hold on!
I'd like to say it's all in jest so here's a smileyface ;) you're all ace
and I'd like to take you home to meet the missus.......
meet the missus.. meet the missus.. meet the missus...

(Say a turkey I became, I'd be going up in flames......)



Message-ID: <>
From: Lawson Dominic <>
Subject: Talk Amongst Yourselves
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 16:08:31 -0000

Just to reply, briefly, to Mr Loring...

>>Your take: Don't take me seriously, except when I'm being serious. It's up
to you to figure this out, and if you guess wrong I'll swear at you and call
you names. I may do this even if you guess right. Oh, the swearing and name
calling may be a joke too, but you won't find that out until you're already
pissed at me. The basic gist is "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."

No, that's not it at all, but you carry on believing whatever you like. I'm
sure most people can spot a personal grievance being aired. Funny really,
because it was you that wrote privately to me with an abusive message saying
that NO ONE was remotely interested in my posts about Metal and that,
effectively, I should just **** off. At least my rudeness is there for all
to see, and to take or leave as people see fit. Today's "basic gist" is as
follows...."stop blaming me for your lack of humour and accept that numerous
people enjoy my posts and can easily identify when I'm being sarcastic
and/or serious". Besides, it's not compulsory to read every word on
Chalkhills, or is it?

>>You may think this is the oh-so-out-of-fashion "politically correct" way
behave, but most people just call it common decency.

Jesus, how arrogant can you get - and yes, I should know. I couldn't give a
toss about whether you're being politically correct or not, and common
decency doesn't come into it. How irredeemably pompous to (inaccurately and
selectively) analyse my written style and then adjudge it to be somehow
contrary to "decency" or norms of civilized behaviour. You must be getting
really dizzy on that high horse of yours. Furthermore, and for the millionth
time this week, who appointed you mouthpiece of the list? It's one thing to
voice your personal objections to my posts, but it's the height of conceit
to speak for everyone else.

>>Am I to understand that I must agree that what is a
"perfectly normal term of abuse" to you, must also be acceptable to me?

No. Why on earth would I say that? The very fact that it's not acceptable to
a lot of people would seem to have been the whole point of my using such
words in the first place. Personally, I object to your heavy-handed
headmaster-style lecturing, but I'm not going to demand that you tailor your
posts to suit me.

>>Why is it that your standards win,
and not mine?

I wasn't aware that they did. What a peculiar world you live in.

>>How can you tell someone else to be aware of cultural
differences when you don't appear to acknowledge them yourself?

I'm aware of them, thanks very much, but with swearing in particular I
simply don't agree with the fundamental principle behind your objections.
Swearwords are taboo for arbitrary reasons which have nothing to do with
decency, taste or anything else. The more we shudder in fear at these tiny
words, the more shocking they become. How pointless is that? Besides which,
I don't tell YOU how to write, or what words to use, so what gives you the
right to select MY vocabulary? You're either extraordinarily sensitive or
hugely conceited. I'd like to assume it's the former, but I'm beginning to
have my doubts.

Anyway.....XTC content, now there's a thought! Oh no, hang on a minute...

>> I would fully agree that it's the spices that make the various
organ meats and bits of gristle taste (quite) good in sausage.

Now call me Old Mr. Unpopular, but how cool is it that we can have a
discussion about meat products on this list? Sure, it's almost totally
irrelevant but seriously, how cool is that????

>>I want to come home!  I don't think they have Jack in the Boxes or Taco
Bells over here!

Try K.F.C. - I believe they offer a small selection of Taco Bell products
(or at least so the recent commercials claim!). Just providing a service!

Kevin Diamond treated us to his lyrics...

>>wipe that frown right off your face
you and me , we're the masterrace
Oh, who could ask for more
baby, out of three reichs your four!

Your parents must be so proud!

Finally, please add me to the list of people who adore "I Can't Own
Her".....I suspect that this probably includes most of the list, but since
there seems to be some doubt I'd like to nail my colours to the's probably my second favourite track on AV2 after "River Of
Orchids", and is one of the most heartbreakingly beautiful things I've ever
heard. And it doesn't sound like Sting.


Dom "I cough upon my wheezy chest" Lawson


Message-ID: <>
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 17:57:57 +0000
Subject: Bring back Unplugged!!

Many thanks to all who responded to my plea for information regarding XTC
and Unplugged.

I can't understand why this series was canned.  At its best it produced, in
my opinion, some of the finest TV performances ever seen from musicians.
TV is notorious for its inability to convey the power of a live electric
performance.  It is much more suited, however, to capturing the intimacy of
an acoustic set.

Wouldn't it be beautiful to see the boys do an Unplugged set?  I can just
imagine the priceless banter inbetwixt songs.  In my wildest dreams, eh?

Dave Wilson


From: "Michael D. Myers" <>
Message-ID: <>
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 14:14:55 -0500
Subject: thoughts

Chalksters and Chalkettes;

I have been on this list for about 3 years and I must say it has gotten
unpleasant lately.  I only contribute about once every 2-3 months because
I don't think that I usually have anything earth-shattering or informative
to offer, nor do I feel that I need to inflict my day-to-day thoughts on
the rest of you.  I noticed that some of the new folks are involved
(embroiled) in verbal discussions that are escalating even as John Relphs
asks for people to desist or to take this stuff off-list.

Here's a thought to consider; long ago, I heard some wise advice for
newcomers on discussion groups, as follows: think of joining a discussion
group as walking into a room of strangers at a party.  Wouldn't you just
stand there for a while until you had an idea of what those people were
talking about and the protocol with which they did the talking?  It's
probable that you wouldn't just start talking and expect everybody to
listen and to respond to you.

So it's kind of like that here.  After all, the world is not going to end
in the next few days, so if you have something to say, just wait a little
bit until you get the feel of how things work around here.  Then put your
toe in the water and contribute.  There's well over a thousand people here
and from what I see, almost everybody is smart, well-spoken and love the
band XTC.  If you don't want to do it this way, you're probably going to
get off on the wrong foot by blasting people and ideas and escalating the
tension on the list, which seems to happen twice or three times a year.
I'll get off the soapbox now.

Lastly, is Rick Avard still on the list?  I tried to send you a note using
the e-mail address I had from a year ago to no avail.  Please send me a
note off-list if you read this.



Message-Id: <>
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 14:20:41 -0500
Subject: Gettin' Post-Modern on Y'alls Behind

The analyzing of each other's posts here is almost embarrassing to the
extreme.  We all love our Chalkhills exclusivity very much.  But that post
from 11/21 from Tom Getter Slack was funny as crap.

Happy Turkey Day!!!

Jason sans Argonauts


Message-ID: <011d01bf3521$8e9fe660$>
From: "JH3" <>
Subject: Re: To turk or not to turk
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 13:41:22 -0600

From: Satanas Diablo <>:
>You wronte:
>" There you go again " , Satanas . Thanksgiving is a public celebration in
>acknowledgment of divine favor ; not a " holiday that celebrates the murder
>of turks ( turkeys ) " .
>And I say:
>I did not say turkeys, I said TURKS!  Learn some history, then come back
>with an intellegent response.

I know quite a bit of history myself, and Turkish/Balkan/Slavic history
in particular, so I have to assume you're just indulging in a bit of chain-
yanking here. The Thanksgiving holiday dates back to 1621 - and during
that era the (Ottoman) Turks were doing most of the murdering, not the
other way around. So...

Is there a particular incident you have in mind? Maybe you're saying
that Thanksgiving somehow celebrates, say, the Venetian victory over
the Turkish fleet at Lepanto in 1571? Or maybe the plague deaths of
200,000 Turks in Constantinople in the first 10 or so years of the 17th
century? Most people tend to accept the idea that military victories and
epidemics don't constitute "murder," but even so, why would a bunch
of English colonists give a rat's ass about what was happening in
Eastern Europe and the Mediterranean anyway?

So I hope what what you're saying here is a joke, but even if it is, it's
a tasteless one, considering all the people(s) the Turks have murdered
over the years in Armenia, Greece, Kurdistan, Macedonia, and so on.
(And, yes, Serbia. I'm as anti-Milosevic as anybody, but let's face it,
if the Turks hadn't conquered the Balkans in the first place, we would
have never had the Kosovo war, the Bosnian conflict, and arguably,
World War I, possibly even WW2).

Disclaimer: I'm an American citizen and yes, Turkey is our ally, but I
hope that doesn't mean I'm considered an accomplice. If I am, well...

OTOH, Satanas, I'd probably be willing to send you some XTC demos
on CD-R if you can't get better copies from anybody else. I haven't
offered because mine are all originally from 11th-generation cassettes,
but I hear they're doing great things with audio restoration software
these days.

John H. Hedges


Message-ID: <001701bf3524$fff7fc00$75f131d4@e.e>
From: "John  Bartlett" <>
Subject: Taco Bell
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 11:58:19 -0000

Ben Said:-
"Yum!  Makes me want a sourdough bacon cheeseburger and then a Chilito!
(I want to come home!  I don't think they have Jack in the Boxes or Taco
Bells over here!)"

No, but we do have jellied eels and mushy peas.


Date: 22 Nov 1999 12:46:59 -0800
Message-ID: <>
Subject: Harvest Festival

If you try to ruin Thanksgiving by citing the sins of man then you're
barking up the wrong tree. Thanksgiving isn't about men, it's about
the gracious and forgiving land which, despite our hideous dark side
or unworthiness, continuously provides us with gifts of food and life
to last throughout the winter. This is the time of the year to thank
the land for bearing it's bounty of fruits and grains for us to reap
and store against hard times to come.

P.S. It's a harvest festival.


Message-ID: <383912926.943302055258.JavaMail.root@web20.pub01>
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 15:20:55 -0500 (EST)
From: Satanas Diablo <>
Subject: The King Told The Boogie Man,

And I will let that Ragga drop...I will stay on topic (and everyone else is
on topic?  I mean, with all the thankgsgiving songs, I did not see that as
being on topic of XTC, though, when I go off topic its bad... I am a bad
dog.  God, its so hypocrytical that I must stay on topic but you can talk
about thanksgiving!  I was only offering some info, just as you all are
talking about "stuffing your bird" I was mentioning stuff.  My beliefs in
food are no more off topic than you describing your feast!)

OK, now for the XTC content.  Are there any Acapellas availible from XTC?

Haysi Fantayzee.  God the 80's were great!


Message-ID: <>
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 13:02:39 -1000
From: "Jim Smart" <>
Organization: ksbe
Subject: a pig's hill in y2k


Is this anybody's golden age? Clearly, it is a golden age for
Chalkhill's Children. Great album just out, lots of "Extra" releases,
the band in the studio finishing another sure-to-be great album......can
things get any better than they are right now? After the 5 (6? 7?)
miserable years leading up to the release of Apple Venus 1, this is
clearly a great moment. I just thought maybe we should take note of
that.......since there's been so much weird griping around these parts
of late.

>>Now , how can any self-respecting XTC fan go all the to England , and
>>actually pass through Swindon without stopping for a look ' round ? I ask
>>you !

Well, I did it. not once, but twice. First my wife and I were leaving
Bourton-on-the-Water on a drive to Bath, and went through Swindon. I had
thoughts of XTC, specifically "English Roundabout", since that's about
all I saw of Swindon. Second, on another trip, my train passed through
Swindon, and as I gazed through the rain at the dirty and dull
industrial town, I thought of Red Brick Dreams. So that was about it. I
suppose I should have done more, but what should a Chalker do there,
exactly? I did see the white horse on the hill, down towards Stonehenge,
which was nice. But I couldn't see myself going to Andy's house and
asking to see his shed. I can't think of any reason he'd be interested
in meeting me.....shit, I might inturrupt his songwriting! I enjoy music
and writing and reading about it, but this whole "star" thing....forget
it. I'd love to have a beer with Andy or Dave or Colin, but that's about
it. And that chances of that happening on a pass through
Swindon....well, it's not too likely, unless Mitch is with you.

But that's another story. I'm glad Mitch wrote in about the "Meet Me On
The Other Side" CD. Millennium songs, like a souvenir of this crazy
time. Here's how to use your credit card for getting it for about 12
>direct from silver moon music:
> from

*****less and less XTC content warning*******

Here's a bastardization of a Kinks song about "Meet Me On The Other
Side"  (sing to "Holiday in Waikiki")

I keep a reading `bout the computer meltdown in my local paper.
I got so tired of it I wrote a song upon a piece of printer paper.
I wrote it in Hawaii in the U.S.A.
I'm a Hawaiian boy who wants the lights to work on waituke.

It's called "The Other Side" and sings about the one I want to make it
through with,
It's the title track upon a compilation of millennial musings
the only catch is, it needs juice to play.
I'm a Hawaiian boy who wants technology upon a new year's day.
Oh yeah, yeah.

I didn't realize how far computers crept into the 20th century,
But I've got some tunes to play as I cross the line and make my entry,
maybe you'd like it
it's hard to say
I'm a Hawaiian boy who wants the planes to fly on waituke.

It's a hooka hooka on the shiny briny on a wake a hola,
And I'll tell you tell you how to order order all you fans of Lola,
And even use a credit card as a way to pay.
I'm a Hawaiian boy who wants a smooth transition in waituke.
Oh yeah, yeah.

In waituke
In waituke

Honolulu, Hawaii


Message-Id: <>
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 17:21:28 -0600
From: "David Martin" <>
Subject: Ramblings & Rumblings

Seventh Grade says:

Thanksgiving is a time for high toned play,
A time possibly for a future abdominal  x-ray.
Maybe get my missing childhood shots or shop at what once was Motts
but now is a Dollar Store/Rent-a-Center, oh yea!
The Back Street  Boys are hot, hot, hot;
They make my prepubescent body jerk a lot, lot, lot.
What does this have to do with turkey and dressing you say,
I'm not sure but Blue Bell ice cream cows eat methane gas causing
For Thanksgiving our teacher is going camping.
Yes leaving his wife and child for Oklahoma backpacking.
No cranberries, no stuffing ,
no nappy pie of pumpkin;
just lots of pork served in greasy, camp fiery, squeal like a pig
Wait; what is that pimp walkin' sound that I here?
A mummer in the distance, the Cowboys suck, oh dear.
Rolling and rolling like a big express patrolling
the teachers parking lot known as the english settlement  I love so
I see them now, I see them clear.
Through my Brides of  Funkinstein shades appear.
Giant oranges and lemons coming at me so quickly,
I have but one leg made of PVC so don't kick me.
I make it away, I make it safely away.
I jumped into a cat scratched tree
and by now you can probably guess what was floating beneath me;
Of course it was a 14 foot Lone Star  boat with a 1959, 7 and a half
horsepower Evinrude engine on top of  the Black Sea.

May the wish tofu/bone break your way baby cakes,

Mr. Martin


Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 15:42:57 -0800
Subject: thanks for turkey
From: Daniel Duncan <>
Message-ID: <>

Hi kids!
I'm back on the list. Good to rejoin in the wake of what looks like alot of
sassy mini dramas about the christian ethic and dietary laws. also the
c-span coverage of the legislation for irony disclaimers on all chalkhills
posts has kept me on the edge of my seat!
i've been listening almost exclusively to 'homespun' which usually induces a
powerful thirst for av1. never the other way around though.
the thanksgiving versions of 'fruit nut' have had me in stitches! good job
to all who posted.
anyone know where i can get a copy of "beeswax" on cd? i think i've inquired
here before, but never heard back from anyone.
trainspotting: i was in a rite-aid pharmacy last week and they might be
giants was playing on the in-store sound system. i don't know which album
(not a huge fan myself, but i know there are alot here).

ah well, that's this post over. happy thanksgiving day to all, and god bless
those brave and tenacious cape codders (my hometown!) who didn't know what a
party was until the indians showed them what it really means to chow down
all day and then catch the game!

Dan "the erstwhile" Duncan


Message-Id: <>
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 19:26:33 -0800
Subject: Martina Newella
From: "Kevin Diamond" <>

God, It's so great to have a music store with a used music section. I told
you about finding three Prefab Sprout albums in there a while ago, and now,
today, I found Martin Newell (featuring the New And Improved Andy Partridge)
The Greatest Living Englishman. Wow, what a CD! It's amazing. Is all his
music like this? What else should I buy from him?

Oh yes, and thank you, every one, for you birthday greetings. (Especially
Tyler Hewitt, who's making me a little sampler tape with a lot of goods on

Kevin Diamond

P.S. I'll give you 5 dollars to do my science homework for me.

"She thinks she's Edith Head,
But you might know she's not
the accent in her speach
she didn't have growing up."
        -John Flansburgh/They Might be Giants


Message-ID: <001c01bf354a$68302160$>
From: "Steve and Lauren Perley" <>
Subject: In which I fabricate an XTC dream of my own. Yeah, that's right. I'm lying.
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 19:31:46 -0500

So I had this fake dream...

I was in a car in Swindon, but I was asleep.  The car stops at an
intersection and I feel someone shaking me awake.  Someone's sticking his
arm through the open window; shaking me and saying "Wake up, wake up!"  But
it's not with the echo effect from the song.  That's a Colin song and he's
not in this one.

Hey! It's Andy!

Groggily, I wipe the sleep from my eyes and blurt out something like
"Wha...I...uh...hi, I'm a big fan of..."

"Shhh!  Listen!  This is important!"  He says.

"What is it?  What do you want?" I ask.

He leans in close - "You're a cunt!" he says.

And with that, he turns on his heel and leaves.

Still groggy, I sit up and take in my surroundings, suprised to see that
Dave Gregory is sitting to my left in the drivers seat.  In my dreams, all
the cars are left-hand drive.

"Got you too, didn't he?"  he says.

Then I woke up.

Steve "I'm a cunt and so's the wife" Perley


End of Chalkhills Digest #5-318

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