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Subject: Chalkhills Digest #5-312


         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 312

                Tuesday, 16 November 1999

Today's Topics:

                     Your Scary Menu
                 Spuds Cup Lumpless Gravy
                         Kindness
               Re: The Power of Suggestion
                  Rumblings & Ramblings
            I don't want to be a pedant....but
                  a bit of this and that
                     YUCKY VEGETABLES
                      Family Theatre
              TMBG CONCERT and MORE CD'S!!!
                     Re: Sport Sucks
                        Oh yeah...
                      Family Theatre
                  a bit of this and that
                      XTC custom CD
                      Playing By Ear
               "They're 8 Track Demogods!"
           Stop my mind from wandering.........

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All that fancy play-talk / Sticks in the throat like cocktail swords.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Message-ID: <382F9A43.58AA@gte.net>
Date: Sun, 14 Nov 1999 22:29:39 -0700
From: "May O'Mahoney" <may5272@gte.net>
Subject: Your Scary Menu

For Vee-

Your Scary Menu

S-O-U-R
Is that how you spell sweet
With your cran-an berries?

A-R-I-D
Prounounced as moist

F-O-U-L
Is that how you spell fowl
With your scary menu
Pumpkin pie that wouldn't
catch a fly...

Well, nothing you can bake
Will change my mind
Nothing you can baste
Will make you kind
I know you didn't watch Emeril on that rainy Sunday
You were too busy with a six pack and a pigskin plaaay

(Oh my God, did I actually just post this?)

------------------------------

From: unna@worldmailer.com
Date: 15 Nov 1999 05:05:02 -0800
Message-ID: <19991115130502.15335.cpmta@c008.sfo.cp.net>
Subject: Spuds Cup Lumpless Gravy

Spuds cup lumpless gravy, form a lake.
Yams mixed with marshmallow slowly bake.

Aromas start to rise wafting.
Corn creaming.
Pies! Peas, bread, real butter.

Spuds cup lumpless gravy, a mote make.

Jealous lemonade - doomed to summertime.
Eggnog? No, not yet.
Easter ham? Come on. Get real. It's way too soon.

------------------------------

Message-ID: <38302DE9.74B2785A@tmbg.org>
Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 10:59:38 -0500
From: Ben Gott/Loquacious Music <gott@tmbg.org>
Organization: Loquacious Music
Subject: Kindness

Chalkhillers,

Remember the movie version of _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_?
Remember what Willy says when Charlie gives him the "Everlasting
Gobstopper"?

"And so shines a good deed, in a weary world."

That's how I feel about the people on this list, and the "good deeds"
that have been showing up in my Inbox over the past few days.  I've been
on Chalkhills since October of 1995, and I've traded demos before...but
this time around, I got more than one offer of "don't worry about
sending something in trade..."  That's usually the way we treat a
newbie, right?  And I'm not a newbie, right?  So what's going on?

I think I know the answer:  that, yet again, the infamous "Chalkhillian
kindness" is showing through.  Whenever we get too mean with each other,
or whenever John Relph has to slap us on the wrists for inappropriate
postings, we must remember that there are people on this list who truly
know what it means to be an XTC fan.  Sure, I've been screwed over in
trades before (remember the Erik Anderson video fraud a few years
back?), but I've also had more than my fair share of good, legal trades
(with Steve Schiavo, Peter Fitzpatrick, Mike Townsend, Colin Wright,
Andre de Koning, Tim Kendrick, and so many others).  Back in the day,
when I was a junior in high school and my e-mail address was about 1,400
characters long, I posted a single question:  "How can I get high school
students to like XTC?"  Now, four years and hundreds of posts later,
I've begun to reflect on why I'm still here.

I'm still here because of Yazbek, Elvis Costello, Blur, Joan
Armatrading, The Judybats, Martin Newell, The Smiths, Jason Falkner,
Hole, and all the other bands that Chalkhills has turned me on to.

I'm still here because of Harrison, Ira, Amanda, Mitch, Dean, Ian,
Simon, Mark, Daniel, Peter, Eddie, Tim, Yazbek, Dave, Chris V., many
guys named "John," and the countless other people with whom I have
corresponded and with whom I have struck up friendships.

I'm still here because of the memories of listening to the "AV1" demos
during high school while shovelling snow off my roof...And of the
opening notes to "Love at First Sight" on a live bootleg...And of Andy's
sideways hat in the "Peter Pumpkinhead" video...And of discovering
"Easter Theatre," "My Bird Performs," "Summer's Cauldron," "Car Out Of
Control," "Across this Antheap" and "Didn't Hurt a Bit" for the first
time...

Of course, I didn't count on any of this when I joined Chalkhills,
because I thought it would just be a "regular" e-mail list with some
off-hand discussion of a band that I liked.  Boy, was I wrong.  This
list has been funny, annoying, interesting, intelligent, idiotic,
useless, and invaluable.  It keeps us guessing, and that's why I'm still
here.

Cheers,
-Ben

*+----------------------------------------------------------------+
     Benjamin Gott . Loquacious Music . Brunswick, ME 04011
AIM: Plan4Nigel . Telephone (207) 721-5366 . Mobile (207) 798-1859
     So wake up, wake up / It's that summer feeling of love...
*+----------------------------------------------------------------+

------------------------------

Message-Id: <3.0.2.32.19991115115909.007118e0@mail.interlog.com>
Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 11:59:09 -0500
From: David Oh <davidoh@interlog.com>
Subject: Re: The Power of Suggestion

In Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 308

>From: unna@worldmailer.com
>Subject: The Power of Suggestion
>I never thought I would have a dream about xtc, but after reading
>about the dreams of others I went home and made one, too...
...I don't think there's any symbolism here. I think we were all just
playing.

are you suggesting that we've made up our dreams about xtc just for the fun
of it? i can't speak for the others, but i can assure you that my dream
wasn't made up to entertain anyone. it was very real... well, as far as
dreams can be real, that is.

some people on this list enjoy "playing", while the rest write how they
really feel about xtc, the music and how it affects their lives.

 peace & xtc,

 davidoh

------------------------------

Message-Id: <s8303c4c.017@pigeon.dallas.isd.tenet.edu>
Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 17:04:50 -0600
From: "David Martin" <dmartin@pigeon.dallas.isd.tenet.edu>
Subject: Rumblings & Ramblings

Seventh Grade says

1. Ya know;  "Black Sea" is pretty damn good!
2. Friends and neighbors, Fishing is a hightone cool.
3. Boys have more than cooties.
4. My boy barks in his sleep. What does this mean?
5. Still waiting for AC/DC to record "Pink Thing".
6. Peaches Records, 1978. I'm 18 and working a summer job in Dallas.
I can still remember Ian Dury and the Blockheads singing "hit me with
your rhythm stick; hit me hit me, hit me with your rhythm stick,
something french. Memories!!
7. I like Sams.
8. A Latin Tribute CD. Tito Puente backed with Shiela E. doing any
tune they want. Now that would be a Spanking Good Time!!
9. Chris Carter first vote Hall of Fame inductee. Go vikes.

Do as Wicker says: get me wet, bend me mold me, make furniture outta
me but don't leave out in the weather or I'll dry out and rot and the
next time you sit on me, you'll fall through and bust your ass.

Mr.Martin

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 19:28:44 +0000
From: Scott Barnard <gforsche@videotron.ca>
Subject: I don't want to be a pedant....but
Message-id: <000501bf2f9f$a1e97380$5b66c818@oemcomputer.videotron.ca>

In response to Tyler Hewitt's post in #5-311, I don't think Eric Carmen
would get his panties in too much of a twist about Andy (unconsciously, of
course) using that melody. Rather, that eerie sound you hear is Sergei
Rachmaninov turning over in his grave for the second time as some upstart
"pop" musician has his way with the main theme of the Adagio from Rach's
Symphony #2.  Mr. Carmen seemed to be quite fond of the old Russkie: he also
"borrowed" the Adagio from the second piano concerto for the execrable "All
by Myself", which you may have heard performed the Bane Of My Existence,
Celine Dion.

S.

------------------------------

Message-id: <fc.000f4ca3002ba1ab000f4ca3002ba1ab.2ba22a@cfrb.com>
Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 16:33:47 -0500
Subject: a bit of this and that
From: rgreenham@thebear.net (Rich Greenham)

Delurking...  NOW!

I've been following the American Thanksgiving / AV 1 thread for a couple
of weeks now -- thought that I'd dig out the rhyming dictionary and have a
little fun while I'm supposed to be hard at work writing radio commercials!

So, this is what came to mind first:

"Y-A-M-S
Is that how you spell sweet potatoes in Your Dictionary?"

Then I got on a yam kick:

"So I'm mashing my yams
And I don't give a damn!
'Cos it keeps me sane, it keeps me sane..."

But then, I heard the beat of the drums and the swirling strings:

"Please to bend down for the one they call Green Giant
King of the frozen veg-gies.
Please to bend down for the one they call Green Giant
Boil in a bag frozen peas!

And you know for a million years he's been in the freezer
Down at your grocery store
And you know for a million years he has froze his niblets
Down through the skin to the core
Free the Green Giant
Free the Green Giant"

And then I decided that I'd had enough.  Belly's full and all that.  But
it was fun.  And it got my mind off the Monster Truck Mania spot that I've
been meaning to write for the last week or so.

On an off-note.  Caught the new Will Smith video on MuchMucus ("MuchMusic"
Canada's Backstreet/Britney/N'Sync/TLC video station!) on the weekend.
The Fresh Prince is back with "Will2K".  Pretty danceable -- the typical
shit that the kids like to get jiggy with these days.  Only thing was, it
samples The Clash's "Rock The Casbah".  I felt myself falling into an
incredibly deep and dark abyss of despair...

XTC content:  Has anyone heard that rap/sampled version of "Dear God" yet?

And Mr. P is a fool for not including "I Don't Wanna Be Here" on AV2.  Not
that I smell a single or anything, it's just a damn good song!

Cheers from Ottawa!

Rich

------------------------------

Message-Id: <199911160052.TAA02618@nantucket.net>
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 19:51:06 -0800
Subject: YUCKY VEGETABLES
From: "Diamond" <arnos@nantucket.net>

Here's the first Thanksgiving spoof I wrote. I decided to post this one
too, just in case.

YUCKY VEGETABLES

See the peas in that bowl there
well just try to avoid them like they were the plague
yucky vegetables

See the veggies pre-frozen
See them there, laying limp, wet, and gross on the plate

Yucky vegetables, yucky vegetables
what was worst of all was the
drastic threat mom gave me, drastic threat
To finish everything that's on my plate
Drastic threat mom gave me, drastic threat
Or else I'd go to bed without dessert

And what thanksgiving with the veggies piled high
of course I hid some in my napkin and my shirt
But she found out, without a doubt, and yelled and screamed
cause when I stood up they all fell down to the dirt

-Kevin Diamond
the lone rhino

------------------------------

Message-Id: <199911160028.TAA32722@nantucket.net>
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 19:27:10 -0800
Subject: Family Theatre
From: "Diamond" <arnos@nantucket.net>

Family Theatre (lyrics by Kevin Diamond):

Aunts will pinch your cheek
marks will last a week
smile and act polite
else you might offend them
Uncles smoke thier Cig's
they smell just like pigs
hold your nose, don't breath
Just think you'll be on your way home in just a while

Guest One,
enter Grandma and she's smelling of moth balls
geust two
now comes uncle ted, don't pull his finger, no.
Aunt Flo
She's a drunk, and she divorced uncle paul
Go Home
You just can't wait to go home

Cousin's in their rooms
playing bride and groom
So what if their related
kids are kids, what's incest?
Bud will laugh and burp
we all look concerned
don't know who he is
we all just pretend that he's a relation

Chorus

Family... Bringing laughter
Family... Bringing tears
Family... put the fun in dysfunctional
therapy...for years and years

------------------------------

Message-Id: <199911160003.TAA29823@nantucket.net>
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 19:00:48 -0800
Subject: TMBG CONCERT and MORE CD'S!!!
From: "Diamond" <arnos@nantucket.net>

Just got back yesterday (sunday) from a four-night four-day trip to boston
and around mass. to look at colleges (Emerson and Amherst) And, while in
Amherst, saw the best concert in the history of the world. Well, I've only
been to three, but I can safely say that this was the best of the three,
and I can't imagine a better concert experience ever. The band in queston
here was a little group I like to call TMBG, formally known as
tHEy... MIGHt...  bE.... GIANTS!!! WOOOOOO.

Seriously, it was an excellant time. I have never had so much fun in my
life. (Well, maybe the time I stuck the hose down my shorts when I was 10,
but that's another story.) They were in TOP condition on all the songs,
playing all sorts of things from all of their albums. They even played Mr.
Klaw, which is a rare B-side only found on Miscellanius T, their B-side
collection, and they played some as yet unreleased songs, like Cyclopse
Rock, and It's So Loud In Here, both fine, fine songs that are going to
transfer well onto CD, IMO. They were so alive and in prime condition, and
I had a blast. They had THREE encores! There was CONFETTI! They did a song
with PUPPETS! How much better can it get? Do you believe that Happy Crappy?
(Just finished reading The Stand)

On another note, I bought MORE CD'S!!! which mean i have a LOT of work
ahead of me, listening to such albums as The Rutles: Archeology, Eno:
Another Green World, Eno/Byrne: My Life In the Bush Of Ghosts, and Crash
Test Dummies: Give Yourself A Hand. I also bought a advanced tape of Blur's
13 with no cover art or anything for 50 cents, but I think I left it in a
hotel room somewhere. Darn.  I guess it's for the best, though, because the
LAST thing I need is more CD's to listen to now.

Hmmmmm. XTC content... Nope, none. Sorry.

Kevin Diamond :
Confused, abused, but not amused. (Residents)

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 17:07:41 -0500
Subject: Re: Sport Sucks
From: William Loring <bloring@tirerack.com>
Message-ID: <B455EE5D.FFC%bloring@tirerack.com>

Duncan,

So if I am to understand you correctly, you're saying that the corporate
machinery of sport is what truly sucks. Correct? That is what your post
about the Olympics seemed to imply. On this, I would have to agree.

However, greedy corporate weasels don't usually participate in the sports
they take advantage of. I would have to assume that the vast majority of the
players in the Olympics partake in their sport because they love it, and
because they want to be the best. The product endorsements that come
afterward are what can spoil them. I see nothing wrong with the competitor
in the pure sense. What about you? Is there something inherently wrong with
competition? Should people not strive to better themselves? And is not
competition with others one of the best ways to measure your improvement?

When you say that you can't be bothered to care when an athlete dies is this
because you don't care about the athlete, or because you dislike the money
and corporate sponsorship?

If instead of a highly-paid professional race car driver, David Oh had
mentioned a high school freshman track runner with a previously undetected
heart defect... would you still feel the same? How about an amateur cyclist
out for a Sunday ride? Is there a level at which sport is okay, and another
level where it is not?

There are numerous sports I find tedious, and not worth my time. However, I
can still appreciate the fact that many of those who participate in those
sport don't share my views, and work very hard to better themselves.

How does all this relate to XTC? Good question. I suppose it comes down to
songs like "The Loving." While we may chose to hate things within our
society, we're still supposed to try to love the people.

William Loring

------------------------------

Message-Id: <199911160029.TAA00112@nantucket.net>
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 19:28:22 -0800
Subject: Oh yeah...
From: "Diamond" <arnos@nantucket.net>

I forgot to put my name on Family Theatre. I wrote it. Sorry.

Kevin Diamond

------------------------------

Message-Id: <199911160028.TAA32722@nantucket.net>
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 19:27:10 -0800
Subject: Family Theatre
From: "Diamond" <arnos@nantucket.net>

Family Theatre:

Aunts will pinch your cheek
marks will last a week
smile and act polite
else you might offend them
Uncles smoke thier Cig's
they smell just like pigs
hold your nose, don't breath
Just think you'll be on your way home in just a while

Guest One,
enter Grandma and she's smelling of moth balls
geust two
now comes uncle ted, don't pull his finger, no.
Aunt Flo
She's a drunk, and she divorced uncle paul
Go Home
You just can't wait to go home

Cousin's in their rooms
playing bride and groom
So what if their related
kids are kids, what's incest?
Bud will laugh and burp
we all look concerned
don't know who he is
we all just pretend that he's a relation

Chorus

Family... Bringing laughter
Family... Bringing tears
Family... put the fun in dysfunctional
therapy...for years and years

------------------------------

Message-id: <fc.000f4ca3002ba1ab000f4ca3002ba1ab.2ba22a@cfrb.com>
Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 16:33:47 -0500
Subject: a bit of this and that
From: rgreenham@thebear.net (Rich Greenham)

Delurking...  NOW!

I've been following the American Thanksgiving / AV 1 thread for a couple
of weeks now -- thought that I'd dig out the rhyming dictionary and have a
little fun while I'm supposed to be hard at work writing radio commercials!

So, this is what came to mind first:

"Y-A-M-S
Is that how you spell sweet potatoes in Your Dictionary?"

Then I got on a yam kick:

"So I'm mashing my yams
And I don't give a damn!
'Cos it keeps me sane, it keeps me sane..."

But then, I heard the beat of the drums and the swirling strings:

"Please to bend down for the one they call Green Giant
King of the frozen veg-gies.
Please to bend down for the one they call Green Giant
Boil in a bag frozen peas!

And you know for a million years he's been in the freezer
Down at your grocery store
And you know for a million years he has froze his niblets
Down through the skin to the core
Free the Green Giant
Free the Green Giant"

And then I decided that I'd had enough.  Belly's full and all that.  But
it was fun.  And it got my mind off the Monster Truck Mania spot that I've
been meaning to write for the last week or so.

On an off-note.  Caught the new Will Smith video on MuchMucus ("MuchMusic"
Canada's Backstreet/Britney/N'Sync/TLC video station!) on the weekend.
The Fresh Prince is back with "Will2K".  Pretty danceable -- the typical
shit that the kids like to get jiggy with these days.  Only thing was, it
samples The Clash's "Rock The Casbah".  I felt myself falling into an
incredibly deep and dark abyss of despair...

XTC content:  Has anyone heard that rap/sampled version of "Dear God" yet?

And Mr. P is a fool for not including "I Don't Wanna Be Here" on AV2.  Not
that I smell a single or anything, it's just a damn good song!

Cheers from Ottawa!

Rich

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 12:53:47 -0800 (PST)
From: Benjamin Lukoff <blukoff@alvord.com>
Subject: XTC custom CD
Message-ID: <Pine.LNX.3.96.991115124925.1029C-100000@locutus.alvord.com>

somebody wrote:

> several postings have come up lately regarding 'fuzzy warbles',
> bootlegs, colin's demos, and sundry rags and bones. everyone has
> different ideas of how these items should be released, remastered,
> repackaged, etc. also, it seems to be generally acknowleged that these
> are 'fans only' items and that only fans want them and they want them
> bad!  why doesn't idea records or tvt do an online pay-per-song
> compilation...that way we get the officially sanctioned demos and rare
> cuts, they don't have to press x-number of copies on spec, people in the
> southern hemisphere don't have to wait and hope it shows up in stores,
> and everyone walks away happy.

I'm all for custom XTC CDs, but not in lieu of a proper package put out on
CDs rather than CD-Rs, as the custom discs would be.  Besides, I want
liner notes and cover art!

BDL

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19991116012655.85166.qmail@hotmail.com>
From: "Bob Crain" <bobcrain@hotmail.com>
Subject: Playing By Ear
Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 17:26:55 PST

>From: B Blanchard <b.blanchard@which.net>

>I have a play on in South London for one night only next Thursday 18th and
>need ideas about which XTC track I should have playing as the audience
>arrives and leaves.

Dear Madam Barnum!

>Oh - and would you guys leave Dom alone?  He's MINE.

Just remember to whisper in his right ear, dear.

-Bob Crain

------------------------------

From: Paul.Culnane@dcita.gov.au
Date: 16 Nov 99 10:16:22 ADS
Subject: "They're 8 Track Demogods!"
Message-ID: <0003lrzldhvl.0003isqocqsi@dcita.gov.au>

Has anybody else mentioned this?  In the November issue of Mojo magazine,
under their "In The Works" section, is this:

XTC
Title:  Apple Venus Vol. 2
Production:  Second volume of songs stockpiled during the dispute with
Virgin.  Recorded in the band's new self-built Wiltshire studio - "a proper
one this time, not Colin's front room", says Andy Partridge.
Due:  April 2000
Songs: Stupidly Happy, My Brown Guitar, The Wheel And The Maypole, I'm The
Man Who Murdered Love,
Buzz:  "Nothing like Vol 1.  It's a lot noisier, electric guitars without the
orchestrations of the previous record."

The same issue of Mojo carries a 1/4 page ad for Homespun, too, with the
nifty caption: "They're 8 Track Demogods!"

NP:  The glorious new CD single from Oz XtC enthusiasts, Big Heavy Stuff,
called "Devil's Tongue" (+ demos).  A tasty forerunner to their new album,
"Size Of The Ocean".  If you can find it on V2 Records you're unlikely to be
disappointed.

~~p@ul

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19991115234530.1093.rocketmail@web1701.mail.yahoo.com>
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 10:45:30 +1100 (EST)
From: Mud Shark <mudshark1944@yahoo.com.au>
Subject: Stop my mind from wandering.........

I have a lot to get through today, so pay attention.
No talking at the back there!

>From Duncan Kimball <dunks58@hotmail.com> :

>>Sorry, but sport sucks. and it is sucking more and
more...more time and money and energy that is....away
from things that matter like education and health and
childcare and the arts...and squandering it on useless
bullshit.<<

Having worked as a teacher for pretty much my entire
adult life, I do agree with Duncan's comments about
funding (sorry if I've just alienated everyone else by
agreeing with him, but I do - so there). However, I
can't agree with the "useless bullshit" tag - I love a
lot of different sports, and to me, sport is every bit
as important, although I grant you that it requires
somewhat less creativity, as music, movies and other
so-called 'arts', in that it has the capability of
bringing so much happiness to so many people. I
daresay that there are people in this world who live
for motor racing and ice hockey, but can't abide music
or literature. This doesn't make them any worse than
any of us, nor does it make their opinions or choices
wrong - it just makes them different.

Mind you, I'm not looking forward to the Olympics
either......

>From Murgatroyd Llewellyn
<murgatroyd.llewellyn@scotland.com> :

>>it is wholly unfair to the world war commonly
referred to as the 2nd world war to refer to same as
the 2nd world war. was the 1st world war so much
better for it to be classified as the 1st world war?<<

Not necessarily. It just came first, chronologically
speaking.....and while I'm here, I should also point
out that these modern dancing tights go baggy at the
knees after only a few evenings' fun. Bring back the
old canvas ones, I say! It is incredible that in a
world where we can land men on the moon, I still get
these terrible headaches......

>From Megan Heller <hellerm@hotmail.com> :

<re : AV2 tracklisting>
>>How are other people who've looked feeling about
it?<<

Having not heard the demos yet, I haven't a clue as to
whether or not the best songs have been included or
left out. I'm eagerly awaiting next April-ish
(although it'll probably released closer to November
where I am).

MS

=====
"I rail against God because I was told to stop eating paste in Sunday
school" - P.J.O'Rourke

------------------------------

End of Chalkhills Digest #5-312
*******************************

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