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Subject: Chalkhills Digest #5-311

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 311

                 Monday, 15 November 1999

Today's Topics:

                  Re: Seagulls Screaming
                Andy Doesn't Wanna Be Here
        AV2 (a short post with XTC content! whee!)
            I Don't Want To Be the Raspberries
                    Suggestions please
                    YOUR THANKSGIVING
            Re: TOTP2 Wednesday 10th November
           Colonel Bunt reporting for duty, sir
                      rags and bones
                  Dindon! A vow calling.
                  Idiotic Diatribes-R-Us
            Re: If you enjoyed "THE DUKES"...
                 Hissy Hissy(piss)Fits!!!
         ferry, boogers & the big express - again
                        Simon said
                   an unfair advantage


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The world's gone mad but in miniature.


Message-ID: <>
From: "Megan Heller" <>
Subject: Re: Seagulls Screaming
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 10:23:04 CST

"John Boudreau" <> advertises--
>Searching through live gig listings in Tokyo Classified and found this :
> >Seagull Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her
> >Shimokitazawa Shelter, 12/13-14, 7pm, JY2800. Info: Polystar 5721-3213.
>With a name like this they've gotta be worth checking out ...

I've heard of them-- I believe they're a kind of shibuya-kei band,
although I think they may have a certain amount of guitar?... I haven't
heard them, although I'd like to.  I remember I hadn't heard of them in
1997 when I bought the Momus album "Ping Pong", containing his
reference-heavy "The Anthem of Shibuya", so I was quite surprised when the
song opened with the words "Seagulls screaming kiss her..."!  It's like a
weird six-degrees games between my favorite musicians.



From: "Mark Strijbos" <>
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 17:31:25 +0100
Subject: Everything
Message-Id: <>

Dear Chalkers,

My phone line has been out for 72 hours - disaster! Boy, i'm i glad
to be back online again.

First of all a bit thank you to local farmgirl and Avon lady Belinda for
alerting us all to the TOTP2 tranmission of Senses Working
Overtime. It was great seeing this clip for the very first time. Yes,
those were the days...
I'd give my Science Friction single for just five minutes of XTC in
that line-up: Andy, Colin, Dave and last but not least Terry.

It's funny, but i usually don't think of Senses as a "drum song" but
if you listen carefully the drums are terribly important throughout
and IMHO this is one of the major "selling points" that made this
single into a minor hit

Two observations: Andy really can't mime his way out of his own
songs and Dave looked very spiffy in his Young Accountant of the
Year outfit.

> While I'm here, a question....  Way back on "Play at Home", Mr P
> visited a mural in Swindon which featured many of the town's
> luminaries, including the band. Does anyone know if the mural is still
> there and, if so, in which street ?
no, it's not there any more. Bit of a pity, it was the only visual
confirmation that you were in XTC Town. Now there's only the White
Horse, but that is actually miles away from Swindon

Swindon residents please correct me if i'm wrong but as far as i
know this mural was destroyed when the house that carried it was

I saw the mural on my first visit to Swindon in 1986. It wasn't really
very pretty or impressive but i'm glad i saw it in it's full glory.
What struck me most was the fact that the artist had later on moved
Barry a bit to the side and "painted in" Dave's head on Bazza's old

PS: i'm looking for a new job. Keywords: C, Delphi, OOP, Java,
JavaScript, CGI, Perl, (D)HTML, CSS, Flash, PhotoShop, Fireworks,
DreamWeaver, DOS, UNIX, Wintel etc... any offers?

yours in xtc,

Mark Strijbos at The Little Lighthouse


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 12:16:46 -0500
From: Rob Hill <>
Subject: Andy Doesn't Wanna Be Here

>From: Rich Bunnell <>
>Subject: AV2: I Don't Want To Be Here

>Sorry if this has been debated in full before, but exactly -why- is
>Andy not including this song on AV2? It's got one of the best
>melodies of any of his recent demoes (with "Stupidly Happy" passing
>it up by a bit)-- what is there about this marvelous song which
>makes Andy not willing to release it?

Because Andy is a deft master of self-sabotage. He knows precisely what
songs are liable to burst open the floodgates & make XTC a bigger
commodity than he's fit to deal with -- & he deliberately steers clear
of this. Thus we have his refusal to tour, his flimsy excuse for wanting
to discard "Dear God," his not-quite-as-flimsy excuse for wanting to
discard "Your Dictionary" -- & now anyone who's heard "I Don't Wanna Be
Here" knows this one is a doozy. I can actually imagine it being (gasp)
played on the radio. Well, either one of two things are likely to
happen. Either Colin & the producer will bully Andy into putting it on,
as has happened before, or it will wind up on Fuzzywarbles. Either way,
the XTC fan will benefit, so there's not much cause for alarm.



Message-ID: <>
From: "Megan Heller" <>
Subject: AV2 (a short post with XTC content! whee!)
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 11:08:06 CST

just checked out the potential AV2 track listing on Bungalow-- I'm pretty
happy overall (very glad to see "Church of Women", "My Brown Guitar", and
"You and the Clouds" on there), although I do wish "Prince of Orange" were
in the mix.  How are other people who've looked feeling about it?



Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 10:07:32 -0800 (PST)
From: Tyler Hewitt <>
Subject: I Don't Want To Be the Raspberries

I Don't Want To Be Here:  exactly -why- is
Andy not including this song on AV2? It's got one of
the best melodies of any of his recent demoes
what is there about this marvelous song which makes
Andy not willing to release it?
Well, to me, the chorus of I Don't Want to Be Here
(the part that goes 'And I don't want to find myself
this way again..." sounds an awful lot like "Never
Gonna Fall in Love Again" by either Eric Carmen or his
former band, the Raspberries (can't remember which). I
am not accusing Andy of plagerism, just saying that
the melodies seem similar to me. Read the notes to
'Knights in Shining Karma' in the Homespun booklet for
Andy's take on borrowing from others.
I do recall a recent interview or something with andy
where he talks about having to play melodies for
others to make sure he isn't copying. I believe the
quote mentioned 'Hey Jude'- "do I hear some Hey Jude
in that" or something along those lines. Has anyone
else seen this? I can't remember where I saw it. A
(very) quick spin through Song Stories and the
Homespun booklet turned up nothing.


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 17:56:37 +0000
From: B Blanchard <>
Subject: Suggestions please

Part self advert so forgive me do.

I have a play on in South London for one night only next Thursday 18th
and need ideas about which XTC track I should have playing as the
audience arrives and leaves. My director has said I can play one so who
am I to ignore that opportunity?
I just can't think what would be suitable.
The play is about a 55 year old educated cultured strong woman character
who befriends a complete mouse of a woman with the express intention of
subverting the mouse's marriage to the strong woman's real and only
love.  But in the end the strong woman discovers she really likes the
mouse for herself (platonically, as a true friend) and learns about life
through the mouse's uneducated innocent inexperienced eyes.  So it's
about jealousy and  female friendships.
Any ideas? Somehow Pink Thing just doesn't seem appropriate.

Oh - and would you guys leave Dom alone?  He's MINE.



Message-ID: <003401bf2d1b$d9466760$>
From: "Steven Paul" <>
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 14:21:41 -0000

Is that how you spell food in your dictionary
Pronounced as yum...
Is that how you spell feast in your dictionary
Dead burnt bird
A recipe for a meal

Well, now that I can chew, my teeth won't eat
Now that I can smell, my nose just leaks
Now that I can taste all your food I'll heave
I'm not so sure that Julia-Childs' a mercenary
The way you cook a meal is extra-ordinary

Stevenoh "not as your lawyer, but as your friend" Paul
(not my real name)


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 17:40:11 EST
Subject: Re: TOTP2 Wednesday 10th November

Just before XTC did "Senses Working Overtime" Steve Wright commented about
how it was "very 80s" and how nervous Andy Partridge looked!
I wouldnt personally have called the boys "very 80s", maybe he was confusing
them with Kajagoogoo?



Message-ID: <130CB597E04ED211B2A400104B93AAC47DF73F@ESCORP1>
From: "Wiencek, Dan" <>
Subject: Colonel Bunt reporting for duty, sir
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 16:52:39 -0600

Maggie went ahead and said:

> Did I miss any discussion regarding Andy's statement that Greenman is
> English folk music inspired and not Indian inspired?  I was dumbfounded-
> after hearing the warbling he does on "pleaeaese to bend down..." on
> Homespun- c'mon- I didn't think that's how the guys in green tights in the
> forest sing, is it?  Call me the village idiot too, but I guess I don't
> know enuf about English folk music...  I'm seeing sari's and dots, too.
> Amazing how we can *so* not understand him...  makes me wonder what else I
> have really misinterpretted.
I don't know a great deal about it [English folk] either, but I've heard
some quote-unquote early music descended from traditional British Isles
folk, and none of it sounds anything like Greenman. As you point out, his
warbling on the outro sounds more Eastern than Celtic, and the same is true
of his ululating rendering of "wall" in the middle section. I wouldn't
berate myself for "misunderstanding" Andy; artists aren't always right about
their own work, and just because Greenman reminded Andy of pagan rites (or
whatever, exactly, it reminded him of) doesn't mean that's where the song
actually comes from, formally speaking.

> and Nicole said-
> >Gary's open letter to Dom:
> >the really ugly,
> >bullying side of your personality rears to just looks
> >pathetic, and a kind of cowardice.
> I have to agree, the Dom & Sherwoods posts are just a Cleverness Contest,
> sorry.  No one else minded being called a *unt....?
Can't say I minded being called a *unt ... but then again, I am kind of
short. Dom, man, how'd you know? Do you have some weird, carny-like ability
to guess people's height by their writing style?

That's a joke--I'm actually rather tall--but I wanted to make the point that
I enjoy Dom's posts, particularly his more acerbic ones, since there is far
too much phony niceness in the world and so it's kind of a relief to run
across phony misanthropy once in a while.

Yes, both Dom and Sherwood lay the rhetorical icing on a bit thick at times;
at times, I've found their posts precious and bothersome. Far more often,
though, I find them funny, engaging, and stimulating. These two very
different writers are able to approach nearly any topic from a perspective
so unmistakably theirs that the topic itself almost becomes irrelevant; you
don't read them so much for the information they contain as for the pleasure
of immersing yourself in a particular view of the world, a view presented
with enough confidence and mastery of craft that it has a palpable presence
on the page, like the smell of a campfire. That's something all fine writing
should do, and what I strive to do myself in my writing. (And it's also
something which *a lot* of subscribers to this list are able to do to some
extent, further confirming my opinion that Chalkhills is an exceptional
list, and that I would find it so even if I weren't a loyal XTC fan.)
Writing of that sort--i.e., writing imbued with personality, that strives to
do more than simply present information--holds the inherent risk, when it
fails, of appearing to be about the  writer exlusively and not at all about
the subject being written about. Dom and Harrison occasionally fall from
that tightrope, as do we all, but that's a small price to pay for
maintaining the health of this incredibly lively, erudite forum we all

And I don't mean to make light of your discomfort at the word "cunt," but
you should bear in mind that the word is less of a taboo in British slang
than in American; it's not considered a nice word, by any means, but it
isn't the doomsday weapon it is here in the States. I've noticed many Brits
seem to use it the way we Americans use "asshole." Witness Andy Partridge's
creation of the Colonel Cunt hat during the Oranges and Lemons sessions
(described in Song Stories, if you're not familiar). To an American it's
jaw-droppingly profane, but re-imagine it as the "Major Asshole" hat and it
makes a kind of sense.

Dan "What a silly bunt" Wiencek


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 14:51:59 -0800
Subject: rags and bones

several postings have come up lately regarding 'fuzzy warbles',
bootlegs, colin's demos, and sundry rags and bones. everyone has
different ideas of how these items should be released, remastered,
repackaged, etc. also, it seems to be generally acknowleged that these
are 'fans only' items and that only fans want them and they want them
why doesn't idea records or tvt do an online pay-per-song compilation,
ala bowie (btw: i love 'hours') or beastie boys, and you can order up a
custom cd of only what you want or get the whole lot?
would this be financially and logistically feasible? other people are
doing it and there's buzz in the media that this is "the new way" for
music (product) to reach fans (consumers).
that way we get the officially sanctioned demos and rare cuts, they
don't have to press x-number of copies on spec, people in the southern
hemisphere don't have to wait and hope it shows up in stores, and
everyone walks away happy.
* -------------------------------------------
>When people on this list make fun of people and call them
>nasty names, I like it and think it's funny.  If you don't like it,
>you're pants.

yeah! pants!
* ---------------------------------------------
thanks to john hedges and company for the 'oranges & lemons' vector
nice work guys! i used it to make a 46x48" penplot and will be
transfering it to the wall in my studio this winter, so i'll have a
mural of the peter max-esque oranges & lemons cover art!
* ---------------------------------------------
on a personal note:
today is my last day at my job. i hope i still have time enough to read
chalkhills digests when i start at the new place next week! this is my
last posting from this e-adress

in loving memory of a name,
dan "what are you gonna do, fire me" duncan


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 18:23:27 EST
Subject: Dindon! A vow calling.

Here it is,Mr Waybill... (I didn't want to be the first)



   I cooked the dandelion greens and piccalilly relish!
   I cooked the dandelion greens and piccalilly relish!

   Take a packet of Bell's Seasoning,
   Get yourself a big plate.
   Gonna cook a river of courses
   In the stove and microwave

   Push the carcass in the stove!
   Push the carcass in the stove!

   Just like a good chef , you're basting the tail with the juices!
   Just like a good chef , you're basting the tail with the juices!

   Sauces on the back burner,
   Potato peelings at your feet,
   Said the oven would be cleaner
   If you just went out to eat!

   Giblets from turkey, thrown away,
   Got a Thanksgiving luncheon in my hands today.
   River of courses, my gut overgrown,
   Gonna walk to the bathroom and sit upon the throne.

   yeah...i know i can "doo"it

     not the traditional menu for the most part,but it fits the song.
   possible future release of demo version

 eddie st.martin


Message-ID: <>
From: "Duncan Kimball" <>
Subject: Idiotic Diatribes-R-Us
Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 17:28:16 PST

Well excuse me for having an opinion, Gary. Sorry, but sport sucks. and it
is sucking more and more ... more time and money and energy that is ....
away from things that matter like education and health and childcare and
the arts ... and squandering it on useless bullshit.

We both live in Sydney, I see. Aren't we lucky? For our sins, we are about
to visited by the 20th century equivalent of the Seven Plagues - i.e. the
Olympic Games. Oh goody.

How my national pride swells when I see our pollies cringing like curs at
the feet of Samaranch, the henchman of the late Nazi dictator
F. Franco. How heartwarming to see that old fascist treated like royalty.

How reassuring to find my suspicions confirmed - that we, like every other
bunch of suckers, bribed our way into getting the Games in the first

What a heartwarming spectacle it is to know for sure (surprise, surprise)
that Graham "Whatever It Takes" Richardson and Sandy Hollway all their
fat, boozy, corrupt, bludging co-conspirators have been hoarding the
premium tickets for their mates at the Big End of Town, just so they can
rake in that little bit extra on the side.

What a sweet experience it is to see millions being surreptitiously
siphoned off from public enterprises like education, that actually do
something useful, and redircted into the biggest money-shredding exercise
since the South Sea Bubble.

How delightful to watch prices spiral out of control, so that ordinary
working people like me can barely afford to live, and my friends who don't
yet own a house can kiss goodbye to any hope of ever owning their own home
anywhere within 50km of the city.

And finally, how thrilled I am that Sydney is painting a great big target
on its collective back by playing host to the biggest terrorist magnet
ever devised AND hosting it in the Year 2000 - thus minting for itself a
gold-plated guarantee of attracting every other rabid religious nut and
aplocalypse-fixated cult maddie who wants to "make a point" by blowing up
a public building or releasing nerve gas on the undergound or poisoning
our water supply.

Gee thanks Juan - I can't wait....


ON a lighter note ...

Played "Homespun" this morning (Sat) while I was doing my email. My 5yo,
Lucas demanded three replays of "Greenman" and danced around the living
room like a dervish with his little sister. At the start of "Your
Dictionary" he protested vehemently:

"No Daddy, this isn't a dancing song - this is a standing-still song."

When questioned about what the Greenman was, he cannily replied: " It's
for crossing the road."

Well, of course!

I can hear him singing it to himself in the shower at this moment. Cute.



Date: Fri, 12 Nov 1999 20:14:48 -0800 (PST)
Message-Id: <>
From: John Relph <relph@cthulhu>
Subject: Re: If you enjoyed "THE DUKES"...

Rick Avard wrote:
>For all you "DUKES" fans out there who love the 60's-style rip-off,
>please check out THE FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE ALL's CD called "Greetings
>From Planet Love".  It's incredible!!!!

I finally procured a copy of this CD and I have to agree, it's an
excellent pastiche of the music of the times, very much akin to The
Dukes' two efforts.  Well worth a listen, especially "Mr. Plastic
Business Man" and "Tomorrow Drop Dead", lovely takes on The Beatles.

John-Bob sez, "Check it out!".

	-- John


Message-ID: <>
Date: 12 Nov 99 21:19:39 PST
From: vee tube <>
Subject: Hissy Hissy(piss)Fits!!!

  What Spawn U UPS!

 Hissy: Gary Pooper
 Hissy: Dom?
 Hissy: Todd
 Hissy: Sherwood (if i could)
 Hissy: Wild1Coyote

    Lighten up guys, it's
 almost time to give thanx!

  I don't think this will
impress anyone but, I have over
3'000 CDs. And I bet if you stop
pissing all over one another and..


  And if you win!

 You can choose any thing you want!

       What CONTEST?
  (see CHALK Vol.5 #307)

So far Megan H. is the winner.



Message-Id: <>
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 1999 02:03:50 -0500
From: David Oh <>
Subject: ferry, boogers & the big express - again

greetings kiddie-winkies,

tonight (99-11-09), in toronto, our concert choices were either bryan ferry
at massey hall, which is a beautiful 100 year-old concert hall with a
seating capacity of 2300


the pick snot boys at the warehouse, a standing-room-only club with a
capacity of about 1000.

hmmm... 2 tickets to bryan ferry, please!

it was a great show, very elegant and understated. ferry was backed by a 13
piece band; 4-piece horn & 4-piece string sections, guitar, bass, drums,
piano and a harpist/percussionist (?). the musicianship was of the highest
calibre and they were surprizingly versatile, too. they mostly played cuts
from his latest album, iow, songs from the 30s, but there were a few
surprizes with big band arrangements of roxy music and ferry solo songs.
all in all, a good time was had by all.

as for the pick snot boys, well, when i got home after the ferry concert,
they had clips from both shows on the tv news and all i can say is neil
tennant had a nice haircut...

xtc content:

i still haven't got a definitive answer on why my copy of 'the big express'
is the way it is.

again, this is what happens: it has the bonus tracks listed on the back, in
the lyric booklet and on the disc itself, but as the disc plays, it goes
from 'this world over' straight to 'the everyday story of smalltown', while
the cd display shows track number 5 then 6 for the above songs and shows up
to track 11, not 14 as  indicated by the artwork.

although i thank the people who have responded to my question privately, no
one has explained to me if this is common or if it is a rarity. does anyone
else have this disc with this artwork/tracklisting?

again, the details are thus:

virgin label, manufactured in the u.k., catalog # cdv 2325. it also has a
bar-code sticker on the back with the following numbers: 77778 66892.

is there a discographic expert out there who can tell me the whats and whys
of this freak disc?

as an aside; the same type of bar-code sticker that appears on my copy of
mummer reads thus: murmer.

go figure!

anyroad, gotta run, but i would appreciate it if an expert would tell me
why my copy of 'tbe' is the way it is... please?


Message-ID: <>
Date: Sat, 13 Nov 1999 07:46:23 -0500
From: Todd and Jennifer Bernhardt <>
Subject: Simon said


Veronica shared her dream, saying (among other things):

> I dreamt that I
> went to an outdoor music festival. Colin and Andy were
> sitting on stools in the middle of a field...

Cowpies, no doubt. How unfortunate for them. No wonder Andy played "I Felt
Like Smashing My Face Through A Clear Glass Window."

Talking about Space Ghost, the other Andy said:

> I suppose that means that:  a) the people that I talk to are lying to me and
> that they actually thought Andy was a miserable guest.  OR b) that being
> talented, interesting, funny and all-around great doesn't mean that you're
> gonna get on television before somebody less interesting but more
> marketable.

Well, from my limited experience in the entertainment "business," I'd say
"B" is definitely true, with the distinct possibility of "A" also being
true. But please don't listen to me...

Oh, and to the people who have been concerned about Simon Deane's approach
to "censoring" the list, here's a hint -- check out the subject line in
Simon's original post on the topic, in #305:
>Subject: Chain yanking <WUA-isosp>

You'll notice that he's following his own guidelines. Read the post again
for the definition of the "warning label."

So much for subtle humor,


Message-ID: <000e01bf2eaa$3e175de0$7ace2cc3@steel>
Date: Sun, 14 Nov 1999 14:11:19 -0000
Subject: Wondermints

To all Digestors everywhere,
Have you guys latched onto the Wondermints yet ? Their new CD ,called Bali,
was hailed in the UK press as "celestial brilliance" and is simply XTC writ
large in a west coast context. It sounds exactly like the Dukes .
In the UK ,it can be ordered as an import from Minus Zero records on 0171
229 5424.
Order and marvel



Date: Sun, 14 Nov 1999 20:45:36 -0500
Message-Id: <>
From: "Murgatroyd Llewellyn" <>
Subject: an unfair advantage

it is wholly unfair to the world war commonly referred to as the 2nd
world war to refer to same as the 2nd world war. was the 1st world war
so much better for it to be classified as the 1st world war? also, a
friend of mine, who is a fine world war in her own right, has given up
any hopes of claiming the title. this contest, for one, seems to be
rigged indeed. quite disgusting, and i'm being polite.

murgatroyd llewellyn


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