Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #5-26

          Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 26

                 Friday, 27 November 1998

Today's Topics:

               Transistor Blast delayed :-(
                    debating the hooks
                 RE: Defense of dislikes
                       Re: Petition
            Free "Song Stories" to first reply
     (LONG POST!) Chalkhills Children at the Grammys
             Nixon Dolls and the joy of music
                    CC '98: THE REVIEW
                     I Could Weep Too
                        Wy Meapon
              Bob....are you awake ? Bob...?
               What do you call that noise?
            Monty Python's Flying John Thomas
            Now Heed My Flawless Pontification
                         oh yeah
                 Please don't be sad Jil
                  Monty Python's Todger
                    Re: Mr Hysterical
                   My last words on O&L
                   Re: Transistor Blast
                    Allow me to retort
                     Various comments


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In a milk bar and feeling lost.


Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 08:59:57 -0800 (PST)
Message-Id: <>
From: John Relph <>
Subject: Transistor Blast delayed :-(


I have just received official word that the US release of Transistor
Blast has been delayed until December 8.  Blast.

	-- John


Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 12:09:43 -0500 (EST)
Message-Id: <v03007800b281a06b0319@[]>
From: Mitch Friedman <>
Subject: debating the hooks

I just wanted to let all of you know that when I spoke with Andy on the
phone last week *he* brought up Chalkhills (I think for the first time!) and
asked what's being talked about on it. It's a damn good thing I lied and
told him people were debating the order of the tracks on Apple Venus!


Message-ID: <>
From: "k. siegel" <>
Subject: RE: Defense of dislikes
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 09:29:04 PST

A theory?

"King for a Day" = "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" = "Secret".


* -----------------------------------------------------
"Burn down the disco, hang the blessed DJ, because the music they
constantly play says nothing to me about my life..." -- Morrissey


Message-ID: <>
From: "Bob Crain" <>
Subject: Re: Petition
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 09:43:36 PST

>Subject: Enough Already
>I agree entirely.  We start repeating ourselves, and it gets tiresome.

I repeat myself when I'm under stress, I repeat myself when I'm under
stress, I repeat myself when I'm under stress (ad infinitum).


>From: nross <>
>Subject: Wanker
>I was just going back in the postings, because I have a huge tendancy
>to overlook things I might not want to overlook... and I saw
>a posting by Dom... that a wanker is not a happy love toy... meaning
>a penis... PENIS... a wanker is a penis. If I am wrong than I have
>missunderstood WAY too many jokes and references. A PENIS very much
>is a wanker am I right? God, I'll just freak out if I am wrong here
>because that will be years and years of not really knowing what
>was being said around me.  It must be a love toy...right RIGHT?
>Please PLEASE tell me I am right!

Nicole, I believe that a "wanker" is a fellow who overly enjoys
manipulating his own penis to produce pleasurable sensations.  So you
are very close.

XTC Kontent:

The WHFS (Washington D.C.) morning DJ, Lou Brutus, who apparently did a
brief phone interview w/ Andy + Colin recently (see previous digests,
and James emailed me about it), mentioned that among all the new
releases that came out last Tuesday, the new XTC boxed set is coming out
and he said it with _great_excitement_.

-Bob Crain


Message-Id: <>
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 10:25:23 -0800
Subject: Free "Song Stories" to first reply

Alright, so maybe I should have posted earlier, seeing as I've been lurking
on Chalkhills for over a year now, but I get the digest at work, and it's
not always easy to find time to read, assimilate AND reply while
simutaneosly attempting to at least LOOK as if I'm performing my work

Anyhow, suffice it to say that this is my first ever post to Chalkhills.
Reason for doing so?  I've just come across a free copy of "Song Stories."
I work for Disney (ok, no comments about our corruptness, ok?  We do some
great stuff, we do some bad stuff, we're a huge company and there's no
getting around it.)  I knew that a free sample copy of the book would come
my way eventually, but my patience wasn't that fortified, so I purchsed it
for myself when it first released.  Said free copy has now crossed my desk,
and I'm happy to mail to to whomever needs it most and replys to this e-mail
the quickest.  It's got a small crease in the front, upper corner, but it's
otherwise in great condition and perfectly readable.  First come, first
served and postage is free, too!

Since I'm now here, I best weigh in with my opinion on Oranges & Lemons.
Love it.  My first full XTC album, and I can still remember listening to it
over and over one weekend when I drove from Detroit to Grand Rapids to visit
my best friend.  I always get a really great flashback to driving home (it's
a 2 1/2 hour drive) at about 1 am and the great feeling of listening to that
music.  Funny thing is, though, that I had it on cd, but had transferred it
to tape for car listening, and the tape wasn't long enough so it cut out at
the very end of "Hold Me My Daddy."  I listened to it for so long that way
that when I put it in the cd player now, I'm still a bit surprised to hear
the rest of it.  I was sure missing out on some fabulous music.

THe album has its ups and downs, but overall it has given me a whole lot of
pleasure over the years so I forgive it its weak spots...

Ok, so e-mail away!



Message-Id: <v03102801b281f80cd076@[]>
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 11:10:20 -0700
From: Richard Pedretti-Allen <>
Subject: (LONG POST!) Chalkhills Children at the Grammys

I attended the National Academy of
Recording Arts and Sciences (NARAS) annual Northern California meeting.
 These are the "Grammy" folks.  I have had some dialogue with NARAS
about tracking recorded works sold via the internet.  I also took along
the Chalkhills Children series for some show and tell.

The meeting was held at Jelly's Dance Cafe on San Francisco's Pier 50.
For those who have been to San Francisco's Pier 39, please realize one
thing... from the Mission Building all piers north are odd-numbered,
all piers south are even.  This put me in a slightly more industrial
part of the city than tourists might normally see.  The industrial
environment was matched by the neighborhoods one typically find nearby
industry.  This was a little slice of Detroit on the southern edge of
this wondrously cosmopolitan city.

As I parked my headlights illuminated a string of tugboats lashed to
the pier at regular intervals.  Just enough nautical charm to make a
dockworker shrug in indifference.

Inside I signed in, got a pint of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, conjured a
plate of food from the buffet and sat at a table to observe the
proceedings.  This is my first time at one of these events and it
shows.  I am under-dressed in a tan colored Henley and blue jeans.
Many others are dressed to be noticed.  (In the entertainment industry,
this intent manifests itself totally different for each gender AND for
each musical style.)

Typical interaction:

A person walks up to me... "Hi, my name is Rocket. What's yours?"

Richard: "I'm Richard."

Rocket: "What do you do, Richard?"

Richard: "I'm an independent producer."

Rocket: "Are you into Drum-n-Bass, Hip-hop, Trip-hop, Urban or Rap?"

Richard: "er.. No..."

Rocket: "Hey, well, Richard, it was really good to meet you."

Shakes my hand and is gone.  Total time: 10 seconds.

If I couldn't do anything for them, they moved on fast, while still
being enthusiastic and polite because... who knows...

The music business is such a slimy and superficial business that it
amazes me that ANYONE can keep a straight face.

After listening to a few songs and doing some thoroughly entertaining
people watching, I approached the DJ stand.  The DJ was none other than
DebOra Ilyll (sic?), former lead vocalist of Romeo Void.  Their hits
from the early and mid-80's were Never Say Never ("I might like you
better if we slept together." and Girl In Trouble ("A girl in trouble
is a temporary thing.")

We talked for a few minutes and she said how cool she thought the
project sounded and that she really enjoyed XTC, while naming a few
songs.  I handed her the discs and suggested a few tracks.

Everyone just continued yabbering and provided golf applause at the end
of each song.

A few songs later, DebOra blathered something about "...while we were
all Making Plans For Nigel, there have been several tributes done for a
great band, XTC, and here is a track by DON'T RING US.  (groan).
Through the rather muddy sound system, came the scratchy intro to
Harrison's cover of Real By Reel from CC97.  This must not have
impressed them because everyone kept talking and schmoozing.  The intro
being a bit quiet caused DebOra to bump the volume but it quickly came
back down when the song lurched away from the curb.  The overall effect
was invisible, as it was for seemingly every other song that was
played, except a Christmas Swing tune.  Everyone just continued

I was enjoying the moment, DebOra was jumping and shaking and grooving
and... that isn't the most endearing sight to behold.  I focused on
some of the other women who were making efforts to be noticed.

By the way, I liked Romeo Void "back then" and, if you did too, then
note that DebOra has released a new CD entitled, "Knife In Water" which
seems to be only available in the SF Bay Area right now with "bigger"
distribution in January.

While Harrison's vocals were muttering about a rutabaga, DebOra dialed
it down and started blathering again, "...a jumpin' ska tune from...
er... The Paranoids? on the XTC tribute."

I retrieved the CD and Modern Time Neros was third in line to be

DebOra played two more songs and then it was time for the evening's
presentation.  Something from Modern Time Neros will be the first song
to reopen the festivities!

The presentation was inane.  The crowd provided polite applause and
kept talking.  The primary reason I was there was to talk and hear
about how NARAS was embracing internet technology and, specifically,
how they were going to attempt to track sales via the internet when
music is not sold through standard distributors.  The bottom line is
that they still don't know and they seem to avoid what they don't know.
 They shifted the conversation to what they were doing to help homeless
musicians and preserve the great memories of music by archiving stories
of the great jazz, swing and rock-n-roll eras, to name but a few.  A
question from the crowd asked if they would archive these stories on
the web.  The answer was, "No."  (For all the good that NARAS does, I'm
still not sure I like these people.)

They had a few raffle gifts but couldn't read the raffle tickets in the
dim light and grabbed some table candles to see.  They read off the
winners with mediocre fanfare and headed right back into the music.

DebOra led off with a song from her new CD and I thought, "That's
okay... she can do that."  Four songs later I still hadn't heard
anything from Modern Time Neros (I had to leave soon) and went up to
the DJ stand.  While waiting for someone else to finish talking to
DebOra, I noticed that CC98 was still five discs down in the stack.
CC96 was near the bottom.  I decided that I couldn't wait and asked for
the disc back.  We talked for a few minutes and then I left.

When I got home, in brighter light, I realized that while reading the
raffle winner's names, they had spilled wax all over CC98 (not the CD
itself but the jewel case) and probably moved it down in the stack to
cover their tracks.

So that is the story.  Harrison's cover of Real By Reel was heard by
some of the up-and-coming denizens of the industry and long-time local
luminaries.  It got the same interest, respect and disregard as
everything except the Christmas swing tune.  I hope this doesn't cut
into his 15 minutes of Warhol-allocated fame.


Message-Id: <>
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 14:58:26 -0500
From: todd steed <>
Subject: Nixon Dolls and the joy of music

I did get the feeling XTC loved composing and making their music..
though the process was bumpy at times...

I loved the song stories book--it really opened up my eyes to some
tunes I never really got.

As for the nixon doll....

ah, never mind

Toddus of apeLife


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 14:12:09 -0600
From: Jason Garcia <>
Organization: University of Texas at Austin
Subject: CC '98: THE REVIEW


Man, I've been on some compilations in my time.  But this has got to be the


Let's start with the first track, shall we?  PETER FITZPATRICK's reading of
"EARN ENOUGH FOR US" kind of takes the Freedy Johnston attack, sort of like
Neil Finn does XTC, but in my opinion is FAR superior to that version.  I've
given this one many repeated listens.  Nice violin echo.  There's no credit
for drums, so there must not be any!

...which segues nicely into PATRICK BOURCIER's "KNUCKLE DOWN".
Interesting take on the original.

As if we needed more evidence that HARRISON SHERWOOD is completely insane,
it?) version of "CROCODILE", one of my fave songs off "Nonsuch".  I knew
John Relph had to appear in this somewhere (anyone remember his "Another
Satelllite" from "Skylacking"?)

Speaking of JOHN, his "PEARL" is quite nice.  I've never heard the original,
and I don't think I need to.  Great analog sound.  My girlfriend: "He kind
of sounds like you."  Me: "That's because we're all trying to sound like
Andy Partridge!"

Kudos to the sick minds in TOAST '66 that transformed "ARE YOU RECEIVING ME?"
into '60s bossa nova.  Complete with Stan Getz on sax!

BEN GOTT'S Morrissey-meets-Sting love chile "MAKING PLANS FOR NIGEL"
makes me want to stroll down sun-drenched paths of autumn leaves.

And I'd be lying if I didn't include my song, "DAME FORTUNE", simply because
of how last-minute it all was.  The vocals were done in one take, a
rehearsal actually, and I think you can probably tell.  But I like it.

Overall the sound is really good, and everybody did a great job with their
track.  There are some great near-copies, notably RICK LEIGHTON's "RUNAWAYS"
and ROBERT COSENTINO's "MAYOR OF SIMPLETON".  I'm so glad to be on this disc
with all you talented folk!  And thanks Richard and Peter for the great
mastering job!

(makes a great Christmas gift!)

TOP 40


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 15:56:44 EST
Subject: Wanker

To nross, who was questioning the meaning of the word "wanker"..
unfortunately it does not mean penis so you have in fact been misunderstanding
jokes for years.  I always thought a wanker was simply a person who wanks
(off) however I'm told by my British wife that calling someone a wanker is
similar to calling someone a jerk or an idiot (i.e. a deragatory name)
although it does obviously stem from the "having a wank" family.  As for your
relative Fannie, my condolensces go out to her.  Only slightly however as a
friend of mine actually has an Aunt Fannie married to an Uncle Dick.

Hope that clears things up for you,


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 16:38:30 -0400
From: Harrison Sherwood <>
Organization: Intermetrics, Inc.
Subject: I Could Weep Too

> From: Dominic Lawson <>
> Subject: I Could Weep


> That's not true. I've had several pops at Mr Sherwood, but (a) he hasn't
> responded to any of them, which implies that he's not overly concerned, and
> (b) much of the time I haven't reacted to his posts at all.

Just in the interest of strictest accuracy, there's another option (c),
which is that I considered the stupid and enervating and distracting and
depressing universal snotfests that erupt every time somebody objects to
your brand of humor to be far worse than the actual "pops" themselves.

Nothing that's been said over the last two weeks has changed this impression.


And speaking of anonymous blocks of text, I really dig it when lurkers (by
definition, people who haven't stirred their suet-slathered asses to
contribute a fucking thing to the discourse) feel completely free to just pop
out of the shadows holding up a little placard that says "75% Pompous
Bullshit!" Well, thanks for crunching the numbers, there, Dorothy Parker; I'd
really been wondering if One of the Millions was keeping a running tally.
Don't stick your neck out by addressing anything I said, of course--that might
entail actually engaging me as a human being instead of a cartoon character.
Just go stick a crappy little label on it. Nobody will hold you responsible
for it, anyway.

And God fucking forbid you should post something about XTC.  Get off my ass,
you leech.

Harrison "Good air in, bad air out" Sherwood


Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 17:54:22 -0500
Subject: Wy Meapon
Message-ID: <>
From: (Bar From The Sky)


Mark davies sez:
Now, why do people hate "My Weapon"?>>>>>>>

Good question! My answer to why people hate one of my favorite songs is
the fact that Barry and his wacky, goofy keyboards are involved with it!
There are strong feelings of "Barryism" on this list!  Why can't we give
the guy a break? His wacky keyboards make the pre-D&W songs FUN! That's
what XTC were about in the first place...impressing girls and having fun!
I mean, do you really think that Andy and friends had intended to make
people THINK with those previous efforts? No flarking way! That is why I
can love those early albums: Because the intent was fun!

off, my soapbox now...



Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 23:54:05 +0000
From: (
Subject: Bob....are you awake ? Bob...?

Dear All,
         BOB O'BANNON wrote in reply to my post :
>>It is obviously the opinion of many people on this list that it is
enjoyable to talk about 'best' and 'worst' XTC music. You apparently
have a different opinion. Fair enough. But since your opinion, according
to your own criteria, is also not superior to anyone else's, then we can
all forget you said anything, right? Let the discussion continue!<<

Well , Bob , I can just see the smug look on your face thinking you
really got a good shot in there , huh ? Trouble is , Bob , you totally
missed the point. (Something tells me this isn't the first time this has
happened in your life !!) Life is too short to go over the whole thing
again , but .....
Simply (for you Bob) : An opinion is fine. We all have them. Just DON'T
try to force them on other people like you are some all-wise guru. This
forum is being filled up with people slagging a song or album off then
getting several replys slagging the poster off and so on and on....
If thats what gets you off , Bobby , then fill your boots. But don't
think we're all sitting here lapping up your incredible insight. Believe
me , we ain't.


Message-Id: <>
Subject: What do you call that noise?
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 17:40:15 -0800
From: drbeat1 <>

Denizens of chalkdom,

I received a note from TVT the other day that the Transistor Blast intro
date has been pushed to December 8th. So, it'll be an early Xmas present
for us, right?!

Also, I understand that the "What Do You Call That Noise?" sampler for
the box set will be/is mighty hard to come by. Anyone have any leads???

Yours in chalk,
dr. beat


Message-Id: <>
Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 13:54:59 +1000
Subject: Monty Python's Flying John Thomas

A quick response to a comment from Chalkhills #5-25 :

>> They'd always inform me that a penis was referred to as a John Thomas in
one of the Monty Python videos...
>> In all the Monty Python I've seen, I've never heard it referred to as a
J.T.? Has anyone?

Yep - that'd be me. There's a scene in "The Meaning Of Life" (the one with
the Catholic Michael Palin selling all his children for medical
experiments) where the Protestant neighbour (Graham Chapman) makes a
passing reference to condoms and his "John Thomas".

It's a bit of a trainspotter posting, is this.....


"There are only forty people in the world, and five of them are
cheeseburgers" - Captain Beefheart.


Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 00:33:17 -0500
Subject: AHHHHHHHH!!
Message-ID: <>
From: (Bar From The Sky)


I looked over my last post and it seems Skybar Ken has made another goof!

I referred to a post by Michael Davies, but dumb old me referred to him
as "Mark". Sorry about that goof-up! We have a local news reporter by
that name  ( I think!) and I guess that name stuck in my head!

Farewell for now :)

Skybar Ken
"Ignore the ignorance just one last first time.
You'll never get used to it, but you will."
--------Mister Misanthrope-------


From: nedrise@MNSi.Net
Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 13:58:13 -0400
Subject: Now Heed My Flawless Pontification

Hey Folks

A few comments on a coupla  songs that  have been mentioned lately.

         Gerardo mentions Crocodile as one of his favorite tunes.  Sorry
man, but that's one of my least favorites.  Should have been left off the
album.  I agree with you on That Wave, though.  Brilliant - except for that
awkward little transition that comes between the lines, "Questioned the
fishes all about it" and "I was in heaven" , and comes back one or two
times. And what a great fade into Then She Appeared.  From Darkness to
Light.  From the depraved to the sublime.

       Some people maligned the synth brass on Miniature Sun.  Well, if it
makes you feel any better, I'm quite sure that is Mark Isham's performance,
but the sound of his horn has been altered/augmented.  Just like on Merely A

        You want to talk about a crappy synth imitation, let's
talk about War Dance and that clarinet-sax thing.  There's another
one that should've been left off of Nonsuch.  Are there any fans
of that  of that tune out there?

       I love This World Over also,  but I've always wondered why
the voice is mixed so low.  Anyone agree with that?

There was another song I was all set to expound upon,  but it has
escaped me.

Good, you say?  Well, I'll be back!

Til I remember,

Michael Stone
Windsor, Ontariio


From: nedrise@MNSi.Net
Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 14:05:35 -0400
Subject: oh yeah

Ha Ha, I remember now.

I was wondering about My Dictionary and what Andy's kids think about it.

I'm not sure if I'd take real kindly to someone talking about my mother
like that.  Even if it was my dad.

Michael Stone
Windsor, Ontario


From: nedrise@MNSi.Net
Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 1998 15:01:33 -0400
Subject: Please don't be sad Jil

Hi Jil

Regarding your post to 5/20.

Thanks for that great story about meeting the lads.
that must have been a thrill.  It sure would be a big,
big one for me.

Please don't feel sad about them and their careers.
They chose their path, and they've lived it.  They've
had a lot of ups and downs,  and I'm sure they never
expected that  doing something as wonderful as perform-
ing and composing music could be fraught with so
much dissapointment and even pain.

But that's just life isn't, and it holds true for all of us,
one way or another.

I'm sure they must be quite proud of what they've accomplished.
If any band has come close to matching the Beatles, it's them.
That's a mighty comparison, but our lads are up to it. Their songs
are simply matchless.  So many good songs!

But the creative process isn't always pretty.  There's a price to pay
for all that wonderfulness,  as someone once said, and other
people like me keep repeating it, "You don't gain something but that
you lose something as well."

Let's be joyful and thankful for the music they've created. That's all that
really matters for us, as fans.

There's a quote I've always liked.  It's from "Malafrena", a book by
Urasla K Leguin.  It goes something like:

                       "Musicians are blessed idiots.  God has exempted
                        them from reason."

Seems appropriate somehow.

Just tossing my 2 cents your way (minus 37% Canadian exchange).

Take care,

Michael Stone


Message-ID: <001301be1920$09c7f5e0$cda066c3@chris>
From: "Chris Clarke" <>
Subject: Monty Python's Todger
Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 09:33:55 -0000

nross wrote

>In all the Monty Python I've seen, I've never
>heard it referred to as a J.T.? Has anyone? and... why? why?
>and... where did "jack-off" come from?

um..near the beginning of 'Meaning of Life', i think, when Graham Chapman is
espousing the virtues of being a Protestant. As to why.... no idea, but it's
probably something 18th century, political and British.

As for jack-off...something to do with the tool perhaps?

* ---------------------------------------
'in the land of the bland the one-idea man is king'


Message-Id: <>
Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 10:49:46 +0000
From: Dominic Lawson <>
Subject: Re: Mr Hysterical

>>Everybody does NOT agree. You go ahead and agree with yourself all you
like but don't presume that your opinion is so wonderful that we all have to
bow down to your infinite wisdom.

Yes, there it is folks. A prime example of someone OVER-REACTING. Stop
projecting your anger onto other people - it was an innocuous comment which
was plainly not meant to be treated as a statement of fact. I'm glad it's
not just me though...

>>Dom's got his own cadre of nuns?

You betcha, and they're hot to trot. Religion is so much easier when you
don't believe in Ozzy.



From: "Lemoncurry" <>
Organization: University Of Oldenburg Comp.Center
Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 13:23:13 MET-1METDST
Subject: My last words on O&L
Message-ID: <>

Hi Chalkhilluminati ! (who wrote that first ? R.A. Wilson fan out
there ? 23!!!)

I know, I know, I've been dissing O&L, too. But after reading several
digests full this topic, and always wondering:
When will honourable Mr Relph
declare O&l and Phil Collins a dead topic ?
I found myself thinking:
Ain't it wonderful that we are not stupid headless sheep who all go:
Oooh, it's XTC, it HAS to be brilliant !!! and all are of the same
opinion, but we're rather individuals who all have their personal XTC
treasures and
-radio-every-day .
Makes us human, I guess.
residing in The Lemon Lounge

XTC Song of the Day:
The Day They Pulled The North Pole Down


Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 07:48:18 -0500
From: Cooking Vinyl <>
Subject: Re: Transistor Blast
Message-ID: <>

Message text written "Damian Foulger" <>:

>Has anyone noticed that TB is cheaper in Brtitain than in the US?
>A friend of mine reported that it is stlg20 (US$40) in Our Price and
>getting by mail order from IMVS it only cost a little over that
>including postage.  In US one pays at least US$40 from a mail
>order place including postage.  Strange that, because CDs are
>pretty much always more expensive in Britain.

It's available from Cooking Vinyl Mailorder for the following:
#25 (or #20 for Cooking Vinyl Club members)
 plus postage (#1.50-uk,#2.50-Europe,#3-N.America, #3.50 rest of the world)
e mail order to


Message-Id: <199811261400.OAA05356@uks447>
Date: 26 Nov 98 13:43:48 +0000
Subject: Allow me to retort

Now that IS a tasty burger.

Sorry to thrust my bust to the fore again (Roger of Oz, thank you so much.
I haven't had anyone ask to watch me fling it around since I was 25), but I
need to reply to a few things.

Dom - Thanks for the Ozzy blessing.  Er, is that a compliment or a curse.

Cheryl - you don't want to grow up like me.  You're plenty nice enough as it
is without wishing such a terrible thing.

Jill - OhmiGod.  Is D&W turning into the acne album.  Urgh!

Karl - you're so right about our Andy L-W
He looks like a pig
He looks like an ape
He looks like a chipmunk too
He brays like an ass
His music is crass
In fact - it's a pile of poo!

XTC content - jugworthy hits from our guys.
Cutting out everything else, lyrics included, and just concentrating on
things to get your arse moving, here are my favourite dancin' tunes from
1.  Funk pop a...
2.  Reel by....
3.  When you're near me
4.  Life begins
5.  Makin' plans (the opening bars are excellent for wiggling onto a dance
floor to).

Is D&W a great dance album or wot!  Apart from number 1, they're all culled
from the same LP.



Message-ID: <001401be1948$24effd40$0c778bd0@ginsim>
From: "Simon Deane/Gina Chong" <>
Subject: Various comments
Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 22:22:04 +0800

Wow! These listings have been coming thick and fast of late - it's difficult
to keep up. Anyway a couple of postings from correspondents caught my eye,
oh about 10 lists ago and I'm finally getting round to adding my tuppence
ha'penny (i.e. not much money, therefore of limited significance, if you're
a septic).
First there was Harrison Sherwood's overblown opus on That Wave. Whilst I
would defend Harrison's right to contribute such pompous claptrap to the
death etc. etc., it sure went off the scale on the wankonometer I've got
hooked up to my computer (there's a corner for writing like that in a
certain English satirical bi-weekly). In the mid to late 70s dinosaur rock
groups roamed the earth before extinction at the "hands" of the punk meteor
(my God, I'm beginning to sound like Harrison). Are we now seeing the
reemergence of the dinosaurs, this time in the guise of serious pop music
fans?  Someone recently was moaning about Harrison's large vocabulary - well
it's alright to have a large vocabulary provided you use it to sensible
Then came Jill Oleson's tortured, yet strangely contradictory, message. One
minute she's decrying the whole pop music fan thing, the next she's back on
the bandwagon pleading with our heroes to be joyful (smug and complacent?)
about their music (from my reading of the book XTC seem to be fairly at ease
with themselves about the creative process, although always feeling that
their music can be improved upon). Surely that's one of the reasons why most
of us like this group - because they're not smug.
So far so unconstructive - what I'm really trying to say is that some of us
are starting to take this thing far too seriously. I mean, XTC are just a
pop group. Granted they are unusually intelligent and challenging (and good)
if you compare them with the rest. But ultimately they're about fun and
dancing and having a laugh. If you want to get cerebral go off and listen to
Bach or Monk (as I'm sure Harrison does anyway) and write about that, or
better still write something of your own. I get the feeling some members of
this list are letting XTC take up too big a part of their lives. You really
should go out more - find an interesting hobby or something.
Still on the subject of seriousness, a lot of you are still missing the
point of Dom's messages. He's basically winding you all up and some of you
are taking the bait, hook, line and sinker. Maybe it's just British humour -
sometimes you have to think a bit to get the joke. (Incidentally I'm
surprised that no one asked what a "spunkbubble" was - or perhaps the
septics amongst us are all Martin Amis readers).
Two or three points of trivia:
1) I saw Andy Partridge's Through the Hill filed with Andy Stewart (the
popular Scottish balladeer who is (or used to be) wheeled out for the BBC's
cabaret special every New Year) in my local HMV the other day. Well how
about that.
2) My wife has taken to playing Richard Clayderman CDs to our new baby
daughter, Jade (born on 4th October weighing in at 7lb 10oz or 3.44kg), to
wind me up. Any ideas for XTC songs suitable for babies to replace Dickie on
the CD player?
3) Are or were any of you fans of The Only Ones (now defunct)? They were in
serious competition with XTC for my affections at the end of the 70s. I've
recently been playing some of their stuff again - I'd forgotten how
excellent it was.
Well, I'm off to get myself a life. Sorry if I offended anyone.
All the best
Simon Deane


End of Chalkhills Digest #5-26

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