Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #5-199

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 199

                   Saturday, 8 May 1999

Today's Topics:

    Herne's Embarrassing and Ridiculous Songs Contest
                    Heyyyy? HEYyyyyy!
                  Western Mass. Chalkies
    REALLY not wanting to start a funeral music thread
               Happy Mother's Day, indeed!
                 good music vs. bad music
                on behalf of the Almighty
                  Out of the woodwork...
       Corrections to John Gardner's post in #5-186
                     My Last Song...
                      power struggle
              halleluja (spelling, anyone?)
             bonus tracks & clockwork orange


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Busy little bees recording everything you feel.


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 07 May 1999 03:06:34 -0700
From: Herne <>
Subject: Herne's Embarrassing and Ridiculous Songs Contest

Greetings Chalkhills types.  The Embarrassing and Ridiculous Song thread
is two weeks dead but not in my heart!  So now as previously announced
before I got tangled up in work and such:

Herne's Embarrassing and Ridiculous Song Contest!  Here's the deal.  I'm
going to give you the lyrics to several songs.  All you have to do is
NAME THAT TUNE and the artist who made it.  The top three entrants who
get the most right win a COOL PRIZE.  Don't fear if you don't know that
many, it might still be enough to win!

First the rules:  Everyone from the list, regardless of location on the
globe, can enter.  The lyrics I use are from the best available sources
I could find in my spare time....either from albums, cd's, the net or
just listening.  Don't hold me responsible for inaccuracies.  My ears
may not be perfect in some instances.  There will be THREE winners.
Full credit is given for identifying the song title and the artist
name.  Half credit for just one or the other.

As for the songs themselves:  They are songs that either I think are
ridiculous or that I'm embarrassed to admit liking or having liked at
some point in my life.  Many are from groups who are sacred cows around
here so don't be offended.  I have largely avoided 70's Top 40 cause
that's just a given.  Some are obvious.  Some(especially the ridiculous)
are obscure.  I believe that given the music taste pool around here,
you'll all be familiar with some of them.  I threw some from musicals at
the end for bonus points.

Now the most important thing: THE PRIZE.  Since this is an XTC list, the
first choice prize is XTC related.

Choose One of the Following:

A copy of the Little Express Compendiums Vol. #1 and #2.  These are rare
volumes of a compilation of all the early Little Express fanzines which
before Chalkhills were pretty much the only contact the English speaking
world had with the band.  They contain all the issues up to right before
Skylarking.  Approx. Late Summer/Fall 1985.  The wealth of photos,
interviews, etc. is too lengthy to describe.  Imagine reading reports
from the studio about the making of all the albums from the 80's with
bits of the others as well.  Incredible.   You'll weep with joy!
Incidentally, the prize is a copy, not an original, but a nice copy,
which I hope to have bound in some fashion.

Now if for some reason, you already have these, I can offer you an
alternative prize such as a copy of the feature film script of your
choice from the Herne Screenplay collection.  1500 titles strong with
access to more.  There's bound to be something of interest there.

If all else fails...A $10 Tower records gift certificate!!!  You

So there you have it.  Contest Deadline is May 18th.  That's over a
week.  E-mail your entries to me at  Come one come
all!!!   I will post the answers and the winners when the contest is
over. In case of a tie, the person who gave the most complete answers
wins out.  If that doesn't work, my 97 year old landlady will draw the
winner from a hat.  SO...Let's see how clever you all are!!!

First a  few clues:  A couple of songs are from the same artist.  Most
are pre-90's.  And one is virtually a freebie.

Flex your music muscles.  Here goes!!!

PART ONE:  Ridiculous songs

Song # 1

I think Im getting fat.
Im getting fatter.  I absorb more.
Im like a sponge retaining meat fluid.
Meat fluid!

Song #2

My Little Dog spot got hit by a car
Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba
I put his guts in a box and I put him in a drawer
Hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba

Song #3

They have just discovered an important note from space
the Martians plan to throw a dance for all the human race.

Song #4

Im a big pirate and I like to steal
Hes a big pirate and he likes to steal
I like to steal and I like to kill!!!

Im a Barbie Doll but Ive got brains
Shes a Barbie doll but shes got brains
Lots of brains and I like sex

Song #5

My house smells just like the zoo
Its piled full of shit and puke
Cockroaches on the walls
Crabs crawling on my balls
Oh but Im so clean cut.  I just want to fuck some slut

Song #6

In the deserts of Sudan
And the gardens of Japan
From Milan to Yucatan
Every womans every man

Song #7

You'll see my teeth in the stars above.
Every tree a finger of my glove
And every time push comes to shove
You'll see my teeth in the stars above.

Song #8

You thought the leaden winter would bring you down forever
But you rode upon a steamer to the violence of the sun
And the colors of the sea find your eyes with trembling mermaids

Song #9

Tv dinner by the pool
Watch your brother grow a beard
Got another year of school
Its okay hes too weird.
Be a plumber  Hes a bummer
Hes a bummer every summer
Be a loyal plastic robot for a world that doesnt care
Smile at every ugly
Shine up your shoes and cut your hair.

Song #10

Shes a squeaking head on a pleasure box
and the boys dont understand
It took the holy roman empire
just to get you by my side
and Im going to be more careful with you
arent I?

Song #10

When I came back home
Everyone had left
Messages on my machine
I felt very clean
I felt very clean

Song #11

I want a backseat
Because I'm a deadbeat
I'm respirating
Two souls of the alien.

PART TWO:The Embarrassing Songs

Song #1

I get home at five oclock
And I take myself out a nice, cold beer
Always seem to be wonderin
Why theres nothin goin down here

Song #2

Do you remember when we used to dance?
And incidents arose from circumstance
One thing led to another, we were young
And we would scream together songs unsung

Song #3

Youre wondering who I am
Machine or mannequin
With parts made in Japan
I am the mod-ren man!
Ive got a secret
Ive been hiding under my skin

Song #4

Maybe tonight,
Maybe tonight, you and I
All alone by the fire
Nothing around
But the sound of my heart and your sighs

Money talks
but it cant sing and dance and it cant walk
as long as I can have you here with me
Id much rather be

Song #5

Ill be you didnt expect
This time hes gone for good
Hell never come back now.
Even though he said he would.
So darlin dry your eyes.
So many other guys
would give the world Im sure
To wear the shoes he wore.

Song #6

Lonely man cries for love and has none.
Senior citizens wish they were young

Cold hearted orb rules the night
removes the colors from our sight.
But only we know which is right
and which is an illusion

Song #7

Im on the ride and I wanna get off but they wont slow down the

So why dont you use it
Try not to bruise it
Buy time dont lose it.

Song #8

I was cutting a rug
down at a place called the Jug
with a girl named Linda Lu
When in walked a man with a gun in his hand
and he was looking for you know who
He said hey there fellow
with your hair colored yellow
Watcha trying to prove
Cause thats my woman there
And Im a man who cares
And this might be all for you

Song #9

Sisters of the way bide their time in quiet peace,
Await their place within the ring of calm;
Still stand to turn in seconds of release,
Await the call they know may never come.
In times of lightness no intruder dared upon
To jeopardize the truth, upset the run;
And all was joy and hands were raised towards the sun
As love in the halls of plenty overrun.

Song #10

In a little while from now
Im not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to feed myself and visit a nearby tower.

Song #11

Uncle Ernie
Auntie Gin
Open the door

Song #12

Dont say words youre going to regret
Dont let the fire rush to your head
Ive heard the accusation before
and I aint gonna take any more, believe me
the sun in your eyes makes some of your lies worth believing.

Song #13

Im  told its my duty to fight against the law
that wizardry is my trade and I was born to wade through gore
I just wanna be a lover, not a red eyed screaming ghoul
I wish it picked another to be its killing tool!!!

Song #14

I think Ill go for a Walk Outside, now
the summer suns calling my name
I hear you now
I just cant stay inside all day
I gotta get out
get me some of those rays!

Song #15

What in the worlds come over me?
I  aint got a chance of 1 in 3
Aint got no rap, aint got no line
but if youll give me just a minute Ill be feeling fine.

I am the one who can take the heat
the one they all say just cant be beat
Ill shoot it to you straight
and look you in the eye
so give me just a minute and Ill tell you why.

Song #16

It used to be so natural
talk about forever
but "used to bes" dont count anymore
they just lay on the floor till we sweep them away.
And baby, I remember
All the things you taught me
I learned how to laugh and I learned how to cry
Well I learned how to love, even learned how to lie
Youd think I could learn
How to tell me goodbye.

BONUS ROUND:MUSICALS---Both Embarrassing and Ridiculous depending on you
point of view.  Full credit for show/movie name and song title.  Half
credit for just one or the other.


In ev'ry job that must be done
There is an element of fun
You find the fun and snap!
The job's a game
And ev'ry task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree!  It's very clear
to see...

Song #2

Girls your fine ointment
Brand new and expensive
Should have been used for the poor
People who are hungry
people who are starving.
Matter more than your feet and hair.

Song #3

I feel like a nun in a cloister
Solitary, celibate, I hate it
I feel like a Monk in abbey
Ditto, ditto, I hate it.

Song #4

A law was made a distant morn ago here.
July and August cannot be too hot
And theres a legal limit to the snow here in.


Welcome sulfer dioxide
Hello carbon monoxide
the air, the air
is everywhere.
Breathe deep while you sleep
Breathe deep.

Well there you are...Remember...ENTER by May 18th.   Send all entries to, NOT THE LIST(Duh!).




Message-ID: <000b01be9888$91b699b0$1df1c4cc@ois-010783.DOA.STATE.LA.US>
From: "John Voorhees" <>
Subject: Heyyyy? HEYyyyyy!
Date: Fri, 7 May 1999 07:53:12 -0500

Hadn't actually seen this brought up in the various massive deconstructions
of AV1, and now that the traffic's died down...
For me, the first three songs on the album are bound together by Andy's
"hey".  Or more precisely, the first vocal noise heard is "Heyyyyy!"  It's
certainly declarative, and yet the musical side is a little questioning too
(the rising tone).  Sets things a little on edge.  Then you get to Easter
Theatre, and AP sort of answers his own vocable question in the chorus
repeats:  "HEYyyyyy!"  Sends chills down my spine and puts a big fat grin on
my face every time.
It's probably completely unintentional, and I'm probably mad for imagining
there's any connection at all, but there you are.  Grist for the 'hill.

John Voorhees


Message-Id: <>
Subject: Western Mass. Chalkies
Date: Fri, 7 May 99 10:22:45 +0100
From: Max Germer <>

I know there are a few of you who live in New England, but I don't think
I've seen any posts from the Western Mass. area. Anyway, the local
River-affiliate has been quite supportive of AV1, putting "I'd Like That"
in heavy rotation when the album came out and now "Easter Theatre" is
getting quite a few spins. I like that.

And... if any of you massholes are free tomorrow (Sat) night, my band
will be performing all of English Settlement live at the Iron Horse, 10
pm. Well, not really. But we will be playing some tasty XTC-influenced



Message-ID: <900822C71730D2118D8C00805F65765C605CE9@EINSTEIN>
From: Jill Oleson <>
Subject: REALLY not wanting to start a funeral music thread
Date: Fri, 7 May 1999 09:17:23 -0500

Greetings Chalkers,

Just to be clear, my note "finally... that perfect funeral music"
was not a plea to start a funeral music thread.  I was simply
capturing a thought I had been carrying around with me for
weeks and sharing it with the group.

Frankly, I hesitated to send the note for fear of starting this
kind of thread.  It's not the kind of thing that I think represents
Andy and Colin's work well.  And as I said in my original
post, I really did not want to offend, or even sadden, anyone
by sharing my thoughts.

I do want to encourage you, however, if you have strong
feelings about this topic, to share those feelings with
your friends and family.  They will be the ones carrying
out your wishes when you no longer can, and I'm sure
they will appreciate any guidance you can provide to make
their difficult task a little easier.

Chalkhills can be a wonderful place to share your ideas
and get feedback, but as a group, we can also get carried
away very easily.  I love the thought that I can come up
with a different way of looking at things and a few people
might offer intelligent and well-considered responses
(even if they don't agree with me).

Thank you very much,

Jill Oleson
Austin, Texas


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 07 May 1999 10:28:30 -0400
From: Harrison Sherwood <>
Organization: Averstar, Inc.
Subject: Morgasmatron

> From: Misty Shock <>


> Speaking of Nonsuch, anybody know what a "morgasm" is? :)

Some time ago, preparing an essay on "That Wave," I researched and hunted
and encyclopedia'd and OED'd and search-engine'd and basically turned the
known universe upside down trying to find out what a "morgasm" was, and
turned up pretty much nothing. I found one MUD gaming cat named Morgan
who'd adopted the nick Morgasm, and that was pretty much it. I suspected it
might have been a term from abstract expressionism (cf. "emotional action
painting" in the next line), but that seemed to draw a blank as well.

I settled uneasily on a theory featuring a Partridge portmanteau combining
"more" and "orgasm," but if anybody else knows anything more concrete than
that, I'd be happy to defer.

Of course, if you think about it with anything like *my* gutter-dwelling
mind, the combination of "morgasm" and "action painting," along with
"cathedrals arriving," "lift me into your mouth," and "spittle of pearls"
conjures up some fairly viscous thoughts. Exempli Gratia: exactly what is
the, er, *canvas* upon which all this "emotional action painting" is taking
place, hm?

I did ask a couple of people with the Partridge Ear to pass along the
query, but apparently they didn't feel quite the same tumescent
etymological urgency that I did. (Mitch...? Want to ask Andy what he meant?
Might want to put on your diving suit first....)

Oh, screw it: Listen to the song! Dave's guitar solo, swooping first
atonally downward, then climbing gloriously upward toward heaven? *That's*
a morgasm.

Subject: XTC in Vermont

> women's college. Of the remainder [of XTC fans] were two other women I
> knew on campus, and a couple of guys(one of which was Harrison's brother
> Bob).

And since the event we've come to know in the family as Bob's Little
Operation, the list of male XTC fans in Northhampton is down to one.

But Roberta's much, much calmer now.

Harrison "I'm sorry--what does it mean, 'gum shot'?" Sherwood


Date: Fri, 7 May 1999 08:45:10 -0700 (PDT)
Message-Id: <>
From: DCB-MBB <>
Subject: Happy Mother's Day, indeed!

** I'll give you a dollar if you eat this collie...**

Hey fellow chalkers!

How about we take a moment to thank Sir John Relph for making this
babblefest possible.  Like 'me mum' did, he has put in countless hours of
time and effort for all us kidz....and in my neck of the woods that makes
him one big bad MOTHER.....

Three rousing cheers for John!!!  :)


Debora Brown
waiting for AV2

hey, whatever happened to Hazy Fantazy (sp?)     .....great cheesy music
* ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I've got a galaxy to run.  I don't have time for flatulence and orgasms."---
        --from The Adventures of Baron Munchausen--
* ----------------------------------------------------------------------------


Date: Fri, 7 May 1999 12:08:35 -0400 (EDT)
From: Ted Harms <>
Subject: good music vs. bad music
Message-ID: <Pine.OSF.3.96.990507115713.29307A-100000@library>

On the good or bad music thread, I'd just like to mention that it was Duke
Ellington himself that said there are only two types of music: good and

He didn't say that if was good now, it will always be or that everybody
would like the same thing....

Ears (and minds) are like parachutes: they only work when they're open.
Listen to everything you can and THEN make your own opinion.  And if
somebody tells you differently, they've got a right to their opinion, too.

Ted Harms                                    Library, Univ. of Waterloo                         519.888.4567 x3761
                "Everything changes."    Shunryu Suzuki


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 7 May 1999 10:05:26 -0700 (PDT)
From: Chris Desmond <>
Subject: on behalf of the Almighty

Oh, bloody hell, AMANDA!  I mean, you're free to dig your own grave
with the Almighty if you want, but I'm really surprised that you would
publish snippets from Dave's private letter to you, especially the
stuff about Andy.  I highly doubt that he intended for that to get out.

Did respect for his privacy not occur to you at all?  I mean, we all
know that Dave is upset with Andy, but still...  I feel like I've just
taken an unauthorized tumble through Dave's dirty laundry hamper, and
I'm not happy about it.  For your sake I hope he hasn't seen what
you've done.

Puzzled and shaking-of-head,



Message-ID: <C926D35F7ED6D211836C00805FC15F4E65D9A1@LNY-S-EXCHANGE>
From: "Lieman, Ira" <>
Subject: Out of the woodwork...
Date: Fri, 7 May 1999 13:57:27 -0400

Hi Chalkhillians!

It's been a strange week here in the Big Apple - work has been odd, baby
waking us up at all hours, and just general headaches abounding. Of course,
it's Friday and things are looking up. I had finished the current mindless
fiction book I was reading back and forth to work on the bus, so I picked up
Song Stories and decided to peruse it for the first time since I got it.

Come into work singing a strange mix of "Towers of London" and "Are You
Receiving Me?" (I read the book backwards...don't ask) and work started out
better than it had the prior 4 days. (For instance my internal e-mails got
where they had to in less than 2 hours)

A coworker from another department had to drop something off to me, and I
was in the middle of changing the CD I was listening to (from Apple Venus to
Big Express). She said, "I remember going to see XTC at the Palladium! They
were great, but he doesn't tour anymore." My eyes perked up - I am not
socially friendly with this individual and had no idea that her musical
tastes hit so close to home. "My favorite song of theirs is No Thugs In Our
House" she said, and began to sing it a little so I knew she wasn't foolin'.

We started talking about XTC, and the new album, and she said, "I love the
new Assorted album...what's it called?" and I pulled it out of my top right
desk drawer. She said "Yeah, my 5-year old likes it too." So, like any
self-respecting Chalkhillian, I showed her my signed copy of Apple Venus and
since she didn't know it was out, she'll get it this weekend. I also lent
her my Song Stories (oh well, I guess I'll be doing WORK on the bus on the
way home) but that's good.

I'm a very happy guy I have a music buddy! Anyone else ever
discover "music buddies" at work? It's cool. :-) They're probably there, you
have to seek 'em out!

-ira, with the home computer that has him on the run...


Message-ID: <>
From: "Miller, Ed" <>
Subject: Corrections to John Gardner's post in #5-186
Date: Fri, 7 May 1999 11:32:50 -0500

Hi, everyone...

With all due respects, I'd like to address John Gardner's recent post.

John writes:
Time Signatures are only divisible or a multiple of the numbers 2 or 3, on
the upper number of the signature, which shows the number of beats.  The
bottom number is only divisible or a multiple of the number 2.

I reply:  Time signatures are not "divisible" by anything.  A time sig is
merely one number above another.  The top number indicates the number of
beats per measure.  The bottom number indicates what note equals one beat.
Therefore in a 3/4 time sig, there are 3 beats per measure and a quarter
note equals one beat.  Likewise, in a 6/8 time sig, there would be six beats
per measure with an eighth note getting a beat.

John writes:
Therefore, since 17 and 39 are prime numbers, and can only be divisible by
themselves or the number 1, they are not a part of the time signature.
Unless you were joking, that is the fact Jack!

I reply:  That's not the fact, Jack!  There CAN be 17 beats per measure,
though I'd hate like hell to count the time.  There can't be 39 on the
bottom, but not for the reason you mention.  It's because there's no such
thing as a 39th note... just 64ths, 32nds, 16ths, 8ths, quarters, halves and
wholes.  Sorry.

John writes:
Even *Roll away the Dew*
has this twinge.

I reply:  The Grateful Dead song to which you refer is entitled "Franklin's

John writes:
But Genesis's song *ABACAB* was based on the keys
they were playing therein.  Nothing more!

I reply:  On the contrary, this is an often misunderstood explanation of how
ABACAB got its title.  Here's the real dope.

Most rock and roll songs lay out like this:

A A B A B C B (or very similar)

Where A = one verse
Where B =  the chorus
Where C = the bridge

ABACAB didn't follow this pattern.

The verses... "Look up on the wall, there on the floor, etc." are the A's.

The choruses... "(When we do it) you're never there (When you show it) just
stop and stare (Abacab) he's in anywhere. (Abacab)" are the B's.
And the bridge, "Do you want it? You got it. Now you know. .You want it? You
got it. Now you know." is the C part.
Check it out... ABACAB is the layout of the song.  It has NOTHING to do with
the chords.
And John closes with this....

I would reason that since XTC have had the habit of recording never more
than they could reproduce live, in the early days, many songs in the
catelogue are tunes which have keys that are 3 part, of simple binary
structure, including some on AV1.  Although some of it is clearly along
different lines as stated above, the majority of the music has time
passages which are within a 4/4 time signature.

This of course says nothing about the meter of AV1 songs, and that is a
whole new ballgame!

I hope this helps, unless you were just goofing around!

To which I reply....

HUH?  Now, I'm not I music major or music theory expert, but I've never
heard of "keys that are 3 part" or "simple binary structure".  Keys are
keys.  A song in C is in C and that's all there is to it.  Now a major triad
in any key is composed of three notes... the first, third and fifth of the
scale, but that's not where you were going, is it?

And, as far as XTC music being in 4/4... you're probably right.  A good deal
of it is in 4/4, but compared to most of rock and roll, XTC's time
signatures tend to be pretty complex.  I don't have the mental faculties
right now to bring the songs into memory, but I know there are lots of
unusual time sigs.  There was a recent discussion on Chalkhills about River
of Orchids and I don't think we ever truly figured out how to count out that
musical masterpiece.  Just guessing here, but some other canididates for
non-4/4 songs might be Rook  which could be 8/8 and possibly choruses in
3/4... I'm stretching my knowledge here.  Also... maybe Helicopter, Meccanik
Dancing, Wake Up... in which, if I'm not losing my mind, the two opening
guitars play in two different time signatures... one 4/4 and the other 5/4.
So, XTC is pretty "out there".

And, finally, John, I know your intentions were good based on your final
comment.  But, you might want to be careful about giving out musical
information on this list unless you're pretty sure of your knowledge.  I
consider myself just okay compared to some of the people on the list, so I'm
ducking right now!!!!

Hope this helps!

Ed "Using his Stratocaster as a shield again" Miller


Date: Fri, 7 May 1999 09:50:12 -0400
From: Dorothy Spirito <>
Subject: My Last Song...
Message-ID: <Pine.SOL.4.00.9905070936240.726-100000@esun2028>

Without a moment's hesitation, I knew the answer to the question "what do
you want played at your funeral?".

This is what I want played at my funeral, loudly so that when it gets to
"As the final curtain..." it is truly filling the room.

   "Old and Wise", by The Alan Parsons Project.
As far as my eyes can see
There are shadows approaching me
And to those I left behind
I wanted you to know
You've always shared my deepest thoughts
You follow where I go
And oh when I'm old and wise
Bitter words mean little to me
Autumn winds will blow right through me
And someday in the mist of time
When they asked me if I knew you
I'd smile and say you were a friend of mine
And the sadness would be lifted from my eyes
Oh when I'm old and wise
As far as my eyes can see
There are shadows surrounding me
And to those I leave behind
I want you all to know
You've always shared my darkest hours
I'll miss you when I go
And oh, when I'm old and wise
Heavy words that tossed and blew me
Like Autumn winds will blow right through me
And someday in the mist of time
When they ask you if you knew me
Remember that you were a friend of mine
As the final curtain falls before my eyes
Oh when I'm old and wise
As far as my eyes can see



Message-ID: <618F91505D89D21185330001FA6A49548EACF1@HFD-EXCH008>
From: "Witter, Karl F" <>
Subject: power struggle
Date: Fri, 7 May 1999 15:30:14 -0400

>But the boomers are WAY more annoying.

Not as annoying as having the Depression-reared or WWII-
worshipping media powers force-feed the idea that the US's
current president is the uber-boomer. Hey, find someone who
went on an acid trip, got roughed up by The Man, attended
Woodstock instead of Oxford, or even successfully smoked
pot to call a child of the '60s!

The big struggle I see between Depression-era babies and their
boomer children is for control of the TV images. In this corner:
Dan, Tom, and Peter, hanging onto jobs where 55 is described
as "young whippersnapper". No wonder the "generation envy"
is such an easy sell.

On humor, I've always had a ken for psychologically abusive
pairs, and Dunks is right: Ralph Kramden is an impotent
blowhard who always went crawling back to his wife. Every
hair-brained scheme ended up with "Baby, you're the greatest!".
Now "To the moon, Alice!" would have an entirely different
meaning if delivered by someone who was capable of actually
backing up a threat. Think Dwight Yoakam in "Sling Blade".

Count the ammunition, Costello,

PS Anyone catch The Simpsons on 5/2? "Arthur Fortune"
ballooning down into a "Fortune Megastore"? Hee hee hee!


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 7 May 1999 15:34:12 EDT
Subject: *Hermaneutics*

Jennifer Strom,

Now, as you may have read in the past month or so, Chris came out of the
closet with a yawn, and Harrison ripped on her after my piece on

Since then, seemingly, just about anything I have researched and written
about, Chris insists on distorting and taking advantage of my posts in her
own way.  Vulture-ism is not my idea of creating thought invoking ideas to
share with the XTC family.  It is down right r-u-d-e.  I am not talking
about *cutting and pasting* or *line editting* either.  She is good at
that, no question there.

This digest, to me, is measured by what individuals discuss, about what is
thrown into the dialogue and the interaction received from the players.
The discussion is metered and tempered by the responses to the *subject
matter*, as if we were sitting on a couch in a large room, talking to each
other.  Harrison and Dunks' posts turn out as such.  That is great, and is
the way it should be.

To me, Chris' input does not help the dialogue.  There is no dialogue from
her about a *subject matter* thrown out there for all to read.  I fancy
certain things, and if my *subject matter* is boring...scroll down, and
move on.

My father always used to say, *if you don't have anything useful to bring
to any particular dialogue, don't say anything.* Until I was ready to do
just that, I sat and lurked quietly.  Given the nature of this
monologue-laiden digest, ettiquette is important.

I now am guilty of doing what dear 'ole Dad said not to do, because of her
scavenger nature, and I responded by *flaming.* I apologize for that.
These posts are written by people.  People have emotions.  This digest is
not Scripture.  Those that wrote scripture are dead, and don't have
feelings about what they wrote about.  So *flaming* about scripture can't
be offensive to the author, because the author is not present to rebuke.  I
am present and rebuked in kind.  If it is hermaneutics she wants, then she
is on the wrong list for sure.

Now, I am not suggesting that Chris is to be censored; to the contrary.  If
she has something to say about the meaningful or meaningless shit I write
about, bring it on.  But, scavenging others' posts as if to say "she cannot
add to or subject from anyone's thoughts, ideas, information" or otherwise,
in a "meaningful and thought provoking way," is highly offensive to me, and
perhaps others.  If this is all we have to go on, then you get what you

This was why I qouted:

"You're only here once so you got to get it right
               No time to fuss and fight
'Cause life don't mean much
               If measured out with someone else's plight (posts)
In time you'll see the light."

Emphasis added to the 3rd and 4th lines!  This digest means more to most of
us than to someone whose life is measured out with someone else's posts.
It is on the hypocritical side, and plagiaristic in nature.  It is not good
clean fun!

And, lastly, I made no references to her crush on any XTC band member
whatsoever [:O)  I don't schtoop that low!  You may want to re-read our

Favorite *Working for the Weekend* XTC Song:  From Transistor Blast:
Meccanic Dancing

John Gardner


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 7 May 1999 12:34:07 -0700 (PDT)
From: nross <>
Subject: halleluja (spelling, anyone?)

To respond with utter joy and respect to the message by Jeff Partyka
posted May 7, 1999 subject: Re: John Lennon

To summarize: he said that John Lennon was a human (and by definition,
faulty). he also quoted E. Costello as saying basically JL just wrote
some good songs...

I  concur.

He isn't.

What the hell did he do to "change the world"?  He made some really
damn good music. Please, let's leave it at that. He is no Ghandi.
He is no (if you are so compelled to believe in...) Jesus. No Moses
or Mohammed (add your fav. savior, prophet, etc.).

"You're no Jack Kennedy". Hell, even Jack Kennedy wasn't really the
"Jack Kennedy" we think of. He was an asshole to the bone, a fucking
bugger if you ask me. PERHAPS, he was a good president. If he were
MY husband... I would've made friends with Lorena Bobbit (okay, I
know time-wise this makes no sense, but go with me).

People are human. They make human mistakes. They can be great in one
or more particular areas in life, and suck at many more.

Please, don't idolize humans. You'll only be disappointed. You'll
do a disservice to those you idolize, for when you do (and you will)
take the pedestal away... they'll fall hard and break to pieces.
You'll find all was sand and there was no soul to begin with.

Alternatively, if you allow humanity to one you "respect", you allow
them a soul. They won't break if you kick the pedestal... they won't
be on it.

-Thank you, Nicole


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 07 May 1999 14:23:48 -0700
Subject: bonus tracks & clockwork orange

regarding bonus tracks on cds (mummer):
i'm fine with it. i had been listening to xtc for a few years on vinyl
and when cds became the standard i had to buy alot of stuff that i
already owned. imagine the excitement i got from picking up a familiar
album and seeing what? six "bonus" tracks?! i don't remember if xtc's
catalog was re-released (on cd) gradually or all at once, but as i got
new copies of their work i was able to rediscover them. it was great!
exactly the same with ryko's david bowie releases.
if you want warm, fuzzy familiarity why don't you just play your vinyl
lps and forget the digital format?
* -------------------------------
"no thugs in our house" reminds me of "a clockwork orange" because every
time i hear the line "...dreaming of a world where he could do just what
he wanted to" i feel sorry for graham. somehow the image of the sleeping
boy with the vapid parents invokes sympathy and negates the fact that
he's an asian-bashing, skin-headed little prick who should've gone to
jail, but weaseled out of it because of his father's position. it's just
like alex in c.o. after his "rehabilitation" when you see his friends &
family turn on him you (i) feel so sorry for him because he's so
charismatic and loves his beethoven and has a real poetic passion for
his "ultraviolence". it's heartbreaking to see all that taken away from
him because i lose sight of the fact that he's a monster with no regard
for other peoples pain.
* -------------------------------
enhanced cd single w/ greenman video? hell yes, i'll buy that!
* -------------------------------
have a nice weekend, everybody.

not touching the
"most influential musician"
thread with a ten-foot pole,


End of Chalkhills Digest #5-199

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