Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #5-176

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 176

                 Thursday, 15 April 1999

Today's Topics:

    We have the Pooh and you are not getting him back!
            I will get this I will...
       Gosh! Did I get your goat or something? ;-)
               *Hermeneutics* at its finest
             Re:: Personal Music Confessions
           Sherwood the Clay-Footed Gnat-Fucker
    Responding to questions seems like a good intro...
                       Fuzzy muzak?
                      Re:"No Thugs"
                    Subject: AV2 delay
                 Dom's F***ing Nightmare
                Embarrassing Songs (again)
                   Re: More on Gilligan
          Enough threads for a quality tapestry
         The Man Who Murdered Love!!!! Hurray!!!
              is there anything in there...?
                 Most embarrassing songs
                    Welcoming a Yahoo
                     Your Imagination
                   Colin' Contributions


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    The views expressed herein are those of the individual authors.

    Chalkhills is compiled with Digest 3.7 (John Relph <>).

It's the airwaves of the world.


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 11:18:53 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jon Rosenberger <>
Subject: We have the Pooh and you are not getting him back!

Dan Quipped:

"Take Care
Dan"Who really hates that Freakin' GROUND HOG and secretly wishes THE
MOLE FROM THE MINISTRY would beat the "hell" out of him!" R."

Hey back off you poor excuse for a three-eyed amoba. The Gopher is my
brother and together he and I know all about you and that "friend" you
have, and what about that thing behind the couch. That's gross. Not to
even start on the Visa bill.
Leave a bag of small unmarked seeds on the backporch tonight or we are
going to the Enquirer. And don't look for the groundhog cause he's "not
in the book".

I'm the Mole from the Ministry!


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 15:33:11 EDT
Subject: I will get this I will...

<<From: "Jamie Lowe" <>
Subject: Easter Theatre>>

<<And while I am on the Song Stories subject.  I recently revisited The Big
Express playing it over and over again in my Car and The song that had my
attention the most was "I Bought Myself a Liar Bird".  Unfortunately, when
I returned to SS to read all about I was disappointed to discover the band
was unable to discuss it due to a legal entanglement/arrangement? with
their former management.  If any erudite Chalkhillians can shed some light
on this mystery I would greatly appreciate it.  jamielowe@msn.comn Thanks.

Jamie, I asked this question about 2 weeks ago on the digest, and so I
thought I would help you out.

This song was written about XTC's former, ex, X, no longer, been terminated
band manager Ian Reid.  He was likely *sacked* by the band due to financial
shenanagans (sic), and as a result of a *presumed* court order, or gag
order, they cannot discuss the contents of the lyrics or anything about

There is information in an article on Mark S's website @


John Gardner


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 12:46:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: nross <>
Subject: Gosh! Did I get your goat or something? ;-)

To respond to:
 Chris Desmond <>
Subject: ridiculous once again

Nicole gushed:
You make me sound like a faucet, or a southern bell. I'm very
cynical, by the way. I rarely gush!!!

>I'll beat my MANDY though, with this one:
You want to top yourself for being ridiculous?!  Might be hard but go

Hey hey, now, really... is that neccessary?

>How can you resist: "talk dirty to meeeeee, yeah! and baby why don't ya
>talk dirty to me..."
Uh, not sure what song it is you are attempting to convey, but if it
sounds this bad over e-mail maybe it should have stayed locked away in
your head.

Poison... Talk dirty to me... 80's... like RATT, remember them?

>How about moving on to something more entertaining like XTC?

HEY! Just having fun here... no need to get serious!

But... on the topic, I have I guess a demo... or a funky version
of "Bungalow" that always makes me laugh... I'm embarrassed I like
it so much. I don't much get Humanosaurus appeal...

is THAT entertainment? NO? No, you say...
You want relevance, don't you?

hmmm... maybe next post
(well, please stop posting, then)
NO, I don't think so... just page down if you feel like it!

= well, at least there is a little xtc in here


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 16:01:49 EDT
Subject: *Hermeneutics* at its finest

Hey Chalkies ~

<<Chalkhills is compiled with Digest 3.7 (John Relph <>).
I got toys like the other boys. >>

at which

<<Somebody wrote :
>XTC : English Settlement

who had to scream,

<<Anybody ( sorry - ladies only ! ) out there think they love ME ? >>

if and only when you should

<<Be as smug as you like mate! It's made absolutely no difference to our
UEFA hopes. Even if we come fifth, WE WILL NOT QUALIFY, and there's
virtually no chance of us coming fourth. Mind you, being a Charlton
pseudo-fan you probably need these tiny victories to keep your sanity...>>

and then,  Number

<<2. Least favourite XTC song:
"My Weapon" - if you can really call it an XTC song (and yes, I know you
can...) - or that goddawful Xmas song.>>


<<.....the list is tragically endless......>>

And in came from the cold

<<The squiggly synth sounds on "Fruit Nut." Almost, but not quite, ruins
the song for me.>>

and she said,

<<Dan"Who really hates that Freakin' GROUND HOG and secretly wishes THE MOLE
FROM THE MINISTRY would beat the "hell" out of him!" R.>> and <<waspie [f. wasp n.1 + -ie.]
A ladies' corset designed to make the waist appear very small; a belt of
similar design.>

Meanwhile, <<AP responded with "they shouldn't be mating
with animals.">>

and I declared, <<my house a "Greenman"-free zone for the week>> when
  (who can't listen to "Fruit Nut" ever since the misheard-lyric thread
  produced "spraying my butt")>> said <>

The end.

Just poking fun at the exigencies.

Chalkies, there's nothing personal herein, I was board on a boring day in

John Gardner


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 16:14:39 -0400
From: "Sarah Starr" <>
Subject: Re:: Personal Music Confessions

Hey, good questions!  Here's my answers:


any Deicide cover...ugghh


Wham! Make It Big....I was seven, ok?


I have attended a rock concert with my father.

I own and love the Cabbage Patch Kids album.

I had never heard Dark Side of the Moon until last month.




They Might Be Giants, October 16 and 17th, 1998....i saw three tmbg
shows in two rocked me for several continuous weeks....


none, really.


Tori Amos last year....uggh...




I dunno.


Celine Dion
Backstreet Boys


can't decide.


- Spice Girls

sarah faye
virgin poster

"He used to be your victim
now you're not the only one...."
  --Elvis Costello, "Accidents Will Happen"  -- The Princess's Castle


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 16:29:49 -0400
From: Harrison Sherwood <>
Organization: Averstar, Inc.
Subject: Sherwood the Clay-Footed Gnat-Fucker

Before I begin, I want to present for your delectation The King Of All XTC
Name Ripoffs: Just
remember this sage piece of advice: "Children that have borders extending
beyond the edges of their parents appear to get chopped off, and children
that only exist beyond the parent's borders cannot be seen at all."

I think we can all learn a lesson from this. Snipping, snipping, snipping...

(I love the way the guy ends his little essay: "This document is
incomplete. I will continue to improve it in time." No *way,* dude! It's
perfect just the way it is!)

> From: "Steve Oleson" <Steve.Oleson@OAG.STATE.TX.US>
> Subject: Sherwood the Amazing
> Thanks for the Partridge/Burgess link explication! I never thought that
> there might actually be such solid ties between them. Of course, only Mr
> Sherwood would have found them.

Woah, SLOW down, there, my horrorshow chelloveck!

Much as I would love to take credit for making the connection, it was
Francis Heaney in #170 who pointed out the Partridge interview where Andy
reveals where he took "fuzzy warbles" from. I only tracked down the dialog
from the scene from A Clockwork Orange for our choodnessy
govoretts. Wouldn't want Francis taking it into his gulliver to tolchock my
guttiwuts in, spill my red red krovvy from here to the Overlook Hotel.

I would never krast from a Chalkie droog.

> OK, Mr Smartyknickers Sherwood! Find a link between XTC and H. P. Lovecraft!

Dave Gregory --> Marillion. Thank you very much! Good night! Drive safely!


Harrison "I'll be your Ph'nglui mglw'nafh if you'll be my Cthulhu R'lyeh
wagn'nagl fhtagn" Sherwood


Message-ID: <>
From: "Megan Heller" <>
Subject: Responding to questions seems like a good intro...
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 15:31:32 PDT

Hello.  I just re-subscribed to Chalkhills after a two and a half year
absence, so I thought I'd drop in my response to the list that has
been circulating--

>1. Least favourite moment on Apple Venus1:

"Fruit Nut".  That intro is just kind of off-putting for me.

>2. Least favourite XTC song:

Maybe "My Weapon"-- it made me uncomfortable the first time I heard it
(nine years ago, when I was thirteen), and I never seem to have gotten
past that.

>3. Artist most people seem to think is pretty naff, but you actually
>quite enjoy:

The two Stone Temple Pilots albums I own are what I tend to hide from
everyone.  There's a variety of pop stuff that comes out that I kind
of like and will listen to on the radio if I'm alone.  Then there's
the Spice Girls...don't ask.

>4. Worst Beatles song:

Don't own enough to answer on this one.  The Beatles were more a
background for me-- what I listened to before I started listening to

>5. Songs that should have been strangled at birth:

"My Heart Will Go On" - Celine Dion (hopefully it will go on a plate)
"Ooh That Smell" - Lynyrd Skynyrd (the first song I ever hated)

>6. Extremely popular artists that you can't see what all the fuss is

Celine Dion
Alanis Morrisette

>7. Musician you'd like to kick hard:

see above
and Britney Spears

>8. Whackiest Title for a song:

"Whitney Houston Joins The Jams" - The Jams

>9. Most Unpleasant Musical Experience:

hrm.  I started listening to XTC and became a goth at twelve (I know
they don't go together, but XTC was somehow how I found music like
Bauhaus and Joy Division.  Long story.), when all my friends were
listening to New Kids on the Block.  That was disturbing at the time.
Now I just tend to be disturbed by what the incoming freshman college
classes are listening to.

In the meantime, just to finish up my introduction, I'd like to
mention that I re-joined the list because I'm moving halfway across
the country after I graduate from college in May-- Virginia to San
Antonio, Texas-- and I'd love to know if there's anything interesting
out there.  I mentioned listening to Bauhaus and Joy Division, but the
goth thing being more a part of my past, I'll mention that I also
listen to Momus and Magnetic Fields.  In addition, of course, to XTC.



Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 18:44:08 -0400
Subject: Fuzzy muzak?


> From: "Steve Oleson" <Steve.Oleson@OAG.STATE.TX.US>

> Thanks for the Partridge/Burgess link explication! I never thought that
> there might actually be such solid ties between them. Of course, only Mr
> Sherwood would have found them.
> Droog Oleson

 Yeah, I've liked the recent Literary mentions (also, thanks, Harrison
for the Pynchon info a few digests back...) Just this past week I had a
ROO experience in Phillip K. Dicks "We Can Build You"

pg 83-

  ..."See? See how you have to be logical all the time? Stop the car at
the next intersection and we'll both get out and leave it, or go to a
flower shop and buy flowers and throw them at other motorists"...

nice little coincidence, or something....bigger?.......

and, Oh my brothers, what did my glazzs' viddy on page 195 but:

..."Do you want to sit and have the vichyssoise and be quiet?"...

  Now, on to the embarrasing song stuff. I never change the station when
these appear (in fact, I turn it up):

Ventura Highway- America
Aubrey- Bread (see also; Guitar Man)
Me and Mrs. Jones----???
In the Summertime-Mungo Jerry
Groovin'---Young Rascals
Don't Fear the Reaper--BOC
Tom Sawyer--- Rush
Everything I Have is Yours-New Stanton Band---think cheesy early to
mid           seventies game show music crossbred with Kmart muzak, and
you           have this.
Wonderful-Johnny Mathis---how the %$#@ did this happen?
Actually, I think a lot of my muzak, um, "inclinations" may have come
from when I was a high school kid working at the local supermarket. The
importance of a good muzak system cannot be stressed enough, while
toiling away for The Man/minimum wage, and  saying "Plastic or paper" ad
infinitum. This was good muzak, late 70s/early 80s, with session cats
who could play those standards! Funky bass, cheesy horns, lush,
sentimentally-dripping strings, the odd oboe....all instrumental, all
day! An 8-10 hour shift could go a lot faster with some good muzak
playing..."Oh, Wichita lineman...nice..."  Sadly, they don't make them
like they used to. Now, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Mariah, etc are
played there.....think of the poor kids! Bah!

 Xtc content: whats up with the Space Ghost appearance? And, I've been
listening to my Jules Verne and Bull cds (thanks again Mark), and I have
a question: How did "Everything", "This is the End", "Obscene
Procession", and "Work" never make it through the final cut? These songs
are classics!

Paper or plastic,



Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 19:07:28 +0000
From: Brian <>
Subject: Re:"No Thugs"


>Perhaps I've misinterpretted this, but I've always thought that the song
was referring to the *woman's* father, or Graham's grandfather. The lyrics
are kind of ambiguous, but it works out better for me that way.<

Man, Curtiss, did you ever listen to (or read) the lyrics to "No Thugs
In Our House"?
They are quite clear on the matter.
Juvenile delinquency of the typical order, with Judge Dad yanking No.1
son's ass out of the fire.

* Digital & traditional illustration/animation
* Caricaturist-for-hire
* RENDERMAN ~ One-Man Band Ordinaire


Message-ID: <000701be86ce$b02d5b20$8c4c4382@oemcomputer>
From: "Arnstein Friling" <>
Subject: Subject: AV2 delay
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 01:29:48 +0200

Hi-diddely-ho, fellow Chalkhillians

Just got back from the Moneychester U - Arse-anal 2. semifinal. Great game.
Too bad one of those "popular" and "sympathetic" team had to reach the

A colleague of mine at the Aftenposten newspaper in Norway had (much to my
envy) a 25-minute phone-interview with Colin Moulding yesterday.
CM confirmed reports that they are not going to start work on AV2 until this
summer, and the album will definately not be in the shops until about this
time next year.
What I want to know is: If the songs for AV1 are from 92-94, and AV2-songs
are from 94-96, what about the songs from the last two years? Are AP and CM
currently writing? When will the songs from 96-99 see the light of day? In
2002, perhaps. But then what about the songs between 99 and 02? Will our
friends be caught in some perpetual time-lag? Somebody suggest for them a
release-schedule that will help them catch up.

CM also said he had fond memories from playing live on radio in 89, and that
AP and him were seriously pondering the possibilities of doing
radio-concerts in Europe sometime in the near future.
An exciting prospect to say the least, but from everything I've read from AP
concerning this, I suspect it's more like wishful thinking.

Beforhand I had suggested to the interviewer that CM probably wouldn't be
very talkative, but that certaintly wasn't the case at all. Our hero was in
fact very upbeat and frisky.

BTW, AV1 has gotten suberb reviews in all the major Norwegian newspapers,
but is, not surprisingly, nowhere to be found on the charts.

Passing thoughts on AV1. The swirling organ on I L T is straight out of
Beatles' "Benifit for mister Kite". K I S K reminds me a lot of "Night Game"
by Paul Simon. The opening chords of F T makes me think of "Go Now" by the
Moody Blues.  Somebody on the list said "long live derivative art", and I
couldn't agree more.

Here's the six, sorry, make it eight, albums (apart from all the post-79
ones from XTC) that has meant the most to me:

Bob Dylan: Blood on the Tracks
The Beatles: Hard days night
The Jam: Setting Sons
Prefab Sprout: Steve McQueen (Two wheels Good)
Bruce Springsteen: Darkness on the edge of town
Neil Young: Decade
Joy Division: Closer
Jeff Buckley: Grace

Now, will any female reading this be catching the first flight to Oslo to
make a den with me?

Oh Well, that's this posting over.

Regards, Arnie Friling


Message-Id: <>
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 09:01:48 +1000
Subject: Dom's F***ing Nightmare

>> Finally I attempted to complete a tape of AV1 for a friend at the
weekend, and decided to try and put one track from each of the other XTC
(studio) albums as a very-nearly-exciting prequel to the new album's
melodic delights. What a fucking nightmare! Well, what would you choose
(and playing time is not really an issue <snip>

I did much the same thing a few months ago for a friend - the tape came
back the following week, presumably unplayed. Ungrateful sod.....

From White Music : it'd be a toss-up between This Is Pop and Statue Of
From Go2 : Meccanic Dancing
From Drums & Wires : Complicated Game
From Black Sea : Love At First Sight
From English Settlement : No Thugs In Our House
From Mummer : Ladybird
From The Big Express : The Everyday Story Of Smalltown
From Skylarking : Earn Enough For Us (or maybe Another Satellite)
From Oranges & Lemons : The Mayor Of Simpleton
From Nonsuch : Wrapped In Grey

This is assuming that the tape is for someone who has heard the more
"obvious" XTC tracks (Senses Working Overtime, Generals & Majors, etc), and
might enjoy some of the album tracks. I think that was the mistake I made
with the tape I did - it didn't have Making Plans For Nigel on it, so the
guy lost interest (tw@).



Message-Id: <>
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 09:39:54 +1000
Subject: Embarrassing Songs (again)

I have a cassette copy of a 1977 radio show that Kenny Everett did for
Capitol Radio in London, which features a Top 30-style countdown of the
worst songs ever released (as voted by Capitol listeners). This tape could
be the most hideous, revolting and cringe-making (and therefore, by
extension, hilarious) 90 minutes I've ever experienced - it includes
versions of "Spinning Wheel" and "A Lover's Concerto" that have to be heard
to be believed.

If anyone wants a copy of this cassette (and believe me, it's worth it just
to hear Jimmy Cross singing "I Want My Baby Back"), let me know by private



Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 23:39:46 -0400
From: Jefferson Ogata <>
Subject: Re: More on Gilligan

> One of my old bands discovered several years ago that The Ballad
> of Gilligan's Island also happens to go very nicely with the music
> from The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot.
> We called it (of course) The Wreck of the SS Minnow...

For me, the classic example of this phenomenon (pointed out to my
by my friend Brad) is to sing the words of Amazing Grace over the
tune of Gilligan's Island. Try it, but not in church, not even in
your head.

I like to alternate verses. Start with "Amazing grace, how sweet
the sound" for the first verse, then "The weather started getting
rough" and so on. This is a good way to pass the time while
sitting in a doctor's office or waiting to board an airplane.

Colin does a really cool bass thing at the beginning of the last
chorus in Easter Theatre. Actually, he does a lot of cool things.
Colin is a very cool guy. There: XTC content.

Jefferson Ogata.  smtp: <>
finger:  ICQ: 19569681  whois:


Message-ID: <>
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 00:59:00 EDT
Subject: Enough threads for a quality tapestry

Catching up on waaay too many digests here to actually look back and see who
said what:

Someone mentioned the person who worked at a record shop on the Promenade -
that's me. Or was me... I'm afraid I've sold out very recently for a gray
cubicle and a middle-class salary. Glad to hear you found your copy of AV1

I have new Sgt. Peppers so often I can hardly even remember what they are.
But I find more often than not it's a live performance that really whacks
around my way of thinking about music. I will say that I just realized this
Christmas, while forcing my in-laws to watch "A Year Without A Santa Claus"
during dinner, I realized just how influential the Cold Miser/Heat Miser song
was on my future musical taste when I was a tot. I'm still a sucker for
music-hall piano and slightly silly horn arrangements...

Over that same Christmas dinner, we decided anyone who doesn't love at least
one embarrassing thing probably has their taste catered by reviewers. My
thing: Tom Jones. Not the new, hip, dance-groove Tom, but the Tom of my
childhood. I have a box set of his that I truly believe is the most wondrous
thing on the planet... FOUR CDs of the man cluelessly belting out such '70s
hits as Too Much, Too Little, Too Late, I Love A Rainy Night, Sexy Eyes, and
of course, I Write The Songs.

Best song title ever for a song that only tenuously exists: "The Last
Temptation of Porkfist (Noodles and You)". A reggae song composed by Jon
Brion and Robyn Hitchcock on stage.

On your parents liking the same music as you: It can be highly amusing. My
mom likes some great stuff, like the Beatles, and some scary stuff, like '80s
Bette Midler, and doesn't really know the difference... anyway, I took her to
see Jon Brion, and David Poe was the opener, and from that night, got these
two great moments:

After Poe finished his set, she said, "He seems like he's smoked way too much
pot, and I think he might be a serial killer." (Nobody could really disagree.)

Then recently, when I told her Jon's album was coming out in July, she was
really excited. She wanted to know if he'd be doing all that crazy stuff like
he does on stage. When I told her not really, he'd be pretty much playing
songs, there was a moment of silence, then this very disappointed, "...oh." I
can't wait to tell him my mom thinks he's not edgy enough!

And, on a grand XTC note, the last trades I read at my old, cool job
indicated that AV1 was kicking some butt on the Adult Post-Modern charts;
also, that it had Soundscanned 40,000 copies in the first three weeks, which
the magazine seemed quite impressed with.

The Gallery of Indispensable Pop Music \ the coolest cds on the Internet


Message-ID: <>
Date: Wed, 14 Apr 1999 22:03:58 -0700 (PDT)
From: K D <>
Subject: The Man Who Murdered Love!!!! Hurray!!!

Just wanted to thank Mitch for informing me that my
favorite all-time demo is going to be on AV2!!!!

and, of course, thank you Andy & Colin!!!

(I'd love to think my pleading had something to do
with their decision--but I know that's wishful

AV2 is going to be amazing!
I am so glad XTC is my favorite band!

-the Baltimore Kate (currently in L.A.)

P.S.--Neal, I caught up on my Chalkhills a few months
ago, and all I have to stay is: THE BIG EXPRESS ROCKS,
YOU BIG BLUE MEANIE!!! (don't worry, I know you were
just trying to get me out of lurkdom--and it would've
worked had I seen it before! very clever!)


Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 15:09:36 +0000
From: Sebastien Maury <>
Subject: is there anything in there...?
Message-Id: <E1223IWL3BT8Y*/R=A1/R=ABCNET/U=MAURYS6G/@MHS>

"Anthem for the Year 2000 - Silverchair. So they're only 18, who gives a
shit?  Their stuff is still wank. [whatever that means]. "We are the
youth.../And we are knocking on death's door" yeah, really, well change the
record guys, we've heard it before (Joy Division did a _much_ better job of
being the youth and knocking on death's door)." [and look where it got

This is irony.

And if you don't give a shit how old they are, why the fuck mention it at
all (shakes his head at the blitheringly obvious)?
On a brighter note, lead singer Daniel Johns is/was anorexic and has been
quite candid in interviews about this, also recording a song about the
traumas it entailed on the new album.
I'm *not* a fan by the way, but it's good to correct these uninformed
little misconceptions that get bandied about with veritable impunity..until
now. Ha!  But hey, as a musical experience, I *can* think of better, that's

For any Australian readers out there, the import version of Easter Theatre
is out ($19.98 at Red Eye-Yeouch!), beautifully packaged, and with, gasp,
Haven't seen it anywhere else yet, but I'm not exactly expecting HMV to
order truckloads of it in...
On the Street has AV charting in the "Alternative Albums Top 20" (don't get
me started...don't worry about the fact that half the albums on it mirror
the National Top 20) in its 5th week at number 17 (highest: 11). does
anyone know what sales have been like here?

Thanks to everyone involved in the BBvsB debate for making me feel young



Subject: Most embarrassing songs
Message-Id: <0006800010367325000002L052*@MHS>
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 10:45:31 +0200

Hi from Germany, all you "Kreideberger",

*Hallelujah!!*, NOW I understand!  My choice of "Sugar Sugar", or any Abba
song, was way off the mark, it has to get *really embarrassing* here.
"Gilligan's Island" doesn't really qualify either, since TV themes are
apparently by definition required to be bad (think of "F Troop", "Brady
Bunch", etc.), except when they make some sort of mistake (like the
"Avengers" or hiring Quincy Jones ["Ironside"]).  You might as well start
citing TV commercials.  No, but alert Chalkhills contributors have made me
see the light!

Jeff R. wrote:

>Embarrassing?  Two words.

>Muskrat Love.

Wow!  Excellent choice!  This crowning achievement, actually a cover of
someone else's work, was recorded by a band that by itself was only able to
write songs with grammatically exciting lines like "You're the most
brightest star that comes my way", or songs like "Tin Man" -- that is to
say, songs that *weren't quite embarrassing enough*!  I know, I have these
records!  So they went out of their way to record someone else's song.
Don't forget, folks, this is the group George Martin produced, about which
he made a comment to the likes of "I can't make just any group sound like
the Beatles."  No wonder.

BTW:  "Muskrat Love" was actually a hit for *two groups* -- double your
pleasure, double your fun!

Tyler wrote:

>Oh, and Air Supply (didnt pay for that one. went for
>free to laugh, but it was WAY beyond laughter-really

Ohhhh yessss!  Or as Leonard Pinth-Garnell would have said, "There there now
that wasn't so good, was it?"  To think, "Lost in Love" was their *best*

And then Bob wrote:

>Regarding those songs you are embarrassed that you like:  if
>you are into this music like I (ahem) am, then you are probably
>familiar with the "Have A Nice Day:  Super Hits of the 70's"
>series put out by the good folks at Rhino Records.  The first
>song in the series is immensely overqualified ("More Today Than
>Yesterday" by Spiral Starecase), but all the darlings are here:
>"Precious And Few", "The Night Chicago Died", "Billy Don't Be A
>Hero", and others.  As usual, Rhino found most of the first
>generation tapes of these songs, so the "quality" is unmatched.
>If I had to choose one, it would be "Love Grows (Where My Rosemary
>Goes)" by Hall of Fame Band Edison Lighthouse, followed by "Joy"
>by Apollo 100, an instrumental based on ":Jesu, Joy of Man's
>Desiring" (didn't think I'd see that song mentioned twice in the
>same week in Chalkhills!)

>"Mandy"?  Sheese, that's a tough one.  You should have at least
>picked "Weekend In New England".

Ohhh God!  Yes!  Truly orgasmically bad.  "Weekend in New England" just
*kills* "Mandy" for sheer awfulness.  And God bless those people at Rhino
for their constant efforts to provide just what the customer needs.  I
*have to* buy this record!  I assume it also has "Having My Baby", "I've
Been to Paradise", "You Light up My Life", etc. etc. etc.

Probably the worst song of all time is yet another one that should be on
there, but believe it or not, the trauma of hearing it must have been so
great that I have actually forgotten it.  It was recorded by a guy named
Freddy Fender, and it SUCKED!!!!

But ok, now it's time to fess up -- I now know what I should have admitted
in my last post: I liked "Torn Between Two Lovers"!  I really did!  (And,
if my memory serves me, this was written/produced/performed by a sort of
pre-Stock/Aitken/Waterman -- and even worse than S/A/W -- "hit factory"
that also produced several others mentioned in Bob's post, eg. "Seasons in
the Sun", under various names).

Oh yeah, and "I Think I Love You" by the Partridge Family (no relation, I
hope; BTW, that was all the XTC content in this one!).

I feel so much better now that I've let it out!

One last thing here (sorry Belinda, I have to tell this one after all):
"Seasons in the Sun", a truly horrid song, brings back a great memory.
When I was visiting in New Jersey, a radio station there (WPST?) decided
that they'd had just about enough of the song, so they played it non-stop
for **12 hours straight** -- and then, live and on mic, took it up to the
roof of their building and threw it off, never to be played (or seen in one
piece) again.

Really bad.

- Jeff


Message-ID: <>
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 06:36:55 -0400
From: Todd and Jennifer Bernhardt <>
Subject: Welcoming a Yahoo


First, Chris Desmond, with his appropriate e-mail domain, said:

> Don't you worry, Harry...I'll have plenty to say soon enough, now that
> I've begun my maiden voyage into the 'hills...

... and then threw out this little bon mot as a response to Nicole:

> How about moving on to something more entertaining like XTC?

Wow -- thanks for the contribution, Chris. Not only am I pleased that there
is one more member of the Relevancy Police on the list, but knowing that
you're going to be posting even more in future issues of Chalkhills assures
me that I'll be able to keep up with the volume, since I'll be able to get
through each digest more quickly.



From: "Michael Versaci" <>
Subject: Your Imagination
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 09:14:03 -0400
Message-ID: <000001be8741$d69fbf50$>


- Derek -   "jeered" me:

>Whoever said the Beach Boys were better singers than the Beatles, I think
>was right on the mark - and allow me to qualify that in a moment. First,
>jeers to Michael Versaci for dismissing that claim with no stronger
>substance than a "HA!"

This conveyed my sentiments exactly. I could've pointed to particular songs,
vocal lines, passages, records etc., but the net result would be the same:
in my opinion, the Beatles were better singers than the Beach Boys, in Mr.
Dunks' opinion, they were not...

While I'm on the subject, Mr. Dunks incorrectly assumed that I sold The
Beach Boys short in the eyes of Jimi Hendrix:

>Penultimately, to Michael Versaci - I appreciated your Hendrix quote, but I
>suspect Hendrix actually had more respect for the Beach Boys than you might
>imagine. And yes, they were indeed a "psychedelic barbershop quartet" - I
>think it's actually a compliment disguised as a putdown.

Where did you ever get the idea that I "imagined" Hendrix had less respect
for the Beach Boys than he actually had?  While I have no specific
information on the subject, I believe that anyone with an appreciation and
understanding of popular music can recognize the talents and influence of
Brian Wilson.  I think you incorrectly drew an inference colored by your
own prejudices and expectations.  I quoted Jimi Hendrix because I thought
it was an amusing way to describe The Beach Boys. The fact is, I am a fan;
I just take exception to comments that cast Brian Wilson as a peer to
Lennon & McCartney or Partridge & Moulding, and to the sentiment that "Pet
Sounds", and the unreleased "Smile" are somehow superior to "Sgt. Pepper's
Lonely Hearts Club Band".  It is my opinion that they are lesser works, and
that he is not as talented as the gentlemen that I just mentioned.

The Beach Boys fanatics always think that people who prefer the music of
The Beatles are ignorant of their "best" work, and are only acquainted with
songs like "I Get Around" or "Surfin' USA".  This is not the case with me,
although I would argue that their light-hearted pop is their most
satisfying music, with "Good Vibrations" being the best record that they
ever made, released or otherwise.  While I haven't heard the "internet
version" of "Smile", I have had the access to many of the tracks as
released on the "Good Vibrations" boxed set for 4 years.  (For those of you
that are wondering, "What is all the fuss about?", this is a great
collection of The Beach Boys hits and unknown gems as well.  Join "BMG" and
wait for one of their "boxed set sales" to pick it up at a reasonable
price.)  I have to say that the music culled from this now famous
"mysterious" project was wildly experimental, and may have made a splash
had it been released in 1967.  But, it also makes me wonder, "What if The
Beatles abandoned the tracks from either "Revolver", "Sgt. Pepper's" or
"Magical Mystery Tour"?  If any of those were "lost" until the
mid-nineties, and suddenly unearthed, would it occupy the same "cult" space
as "Smile" does today?  Or would it have turned the industry on its ear? We
can never know, but I believe that it would have been much more relevant
and exciting than any unreleased Beach Boys music.  Tracks like "Tomorrow
Never Knows", "I'm Only Sleeping", "Strawberry Fields Forever", "A Day In
The Life", and "I Am The Walrus" were all very innovative and experimental
at the time of their release, but because of the brilliance and accessible
nature of the works, they have become part of the pop landscape.  What
other artists can make the same claim?

Mr. Dunks also suggested to me:

>I would suggest to you that it's pretty unlikely the Beatles would have
come out with a piece >like "Because" had it not been for the prior
existence of records like the Beach Boys "Our >Prayer".

Well, you may be right, but I don't think so.  Angelic harmonies have been
around for centuries.  John may have been influenced by "Our Prayer", or he
may have been listening to Gregorian chants.  Or, anyone of them might have
heard the demo for "Because" and suggested that they sing beautiful angelic
harmonies.  Who knows?

Influences are sometimes difficult to trace.  John admitted that the pop
masterpiece "Day Tripper" was an attempt at writing a Muddy Waters tune!
Once you know this, it makes sense, but, it still remains a distant relative
to songs like "Trouble No More" or "Hoochie Coochie Man".

I can say that without "Abbey Road", there would have been no "Dark Side Of
The Moon".

I am acutely aware of the subjective nature of the arts.  I know that I
bore the piss out of some "Chalkhillians", but the ones that have been
reading my contributions know that I have written extensively on just that

Having said that, I would like have my last words on this thread, and then
I'll move on.

The Beatles were very special.  I hear magic in their music that is very
hard to describe. In fact, the only other recording artist that comes close
for me in the "baroque pop music" spectrum is XTC.  That is why I am here.
I could go on for hours, but I'll just give one example.  During the
filming of "A Hard Day's Night", the suits decided that they needed another
song.  John left the room with his guitar, and 10 minutes later returned
with "Tell Me Why".  The Beatles learned the song, played the basic tracks
live and then overdubbed the vocals.  No studio trickery, (except the
freedom to sing without playing at the same time) no "hired gun" session
musicians, no fancy George Martin arrangements.  Just The Beatles.  Even
today, 35 years later, I can go to the stereo, put that song on, and be
amazed all over again at the sheer power of those four boys.  For my ears,
there isn't even one Beach Boys song that can move me to the degree of a
song that was literally "crafted on demand" in 10 minutes.

Michael Versaci


Message-ID: <>
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 09:43:35 EDT
Subject: Colin' Contributions

Even though Colin contributes a mere two songs to AV1, I really like both.
Andy's pieces, though beautiful, can feel like huge pieces of dessert at
times. I look forward to Colin's songs; they bring the album back to earth.

Also, "Knights in Shining Karma," though pretty, fails to grab
me. "Frivolous Tonight" should appear sooner on the record; "Knights"
should replace "Your Dictionary." YD should be a B-side. "Dame Fortune"
should be somewhere on this album. Something like:

RIver of Orchids
I'd Like That
Easter Theatre
Frivolous Tonight
Dame Fortune
Green Man
My Brown Guitar
Fruit Nut

I LIKE OASIS. After a disappointing third album, my faith in them is
reaffirmed with "The Masterplan." Liam Gallagher's voice rules! One of the
few bands that I still crank up to "11" on my stereo.

Wes Wilson
(who's got a ticket for a Blondie show on May 15 :-))


End of Chalkhills Digest #5-176

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