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Subject: Chalkhills Digest #5-150


         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 150

                  Friday, 26 March 1999

Today's Topics:

           The Printed Word Should Be Forgiven
                     Re: Fripp/Damned
                   XTC Hotlanta, Again
                  Mr. Shearer weighs in
                         Liarbird
           More regarding Fripp and The Damned
            Sgt. Rutter's Only Darts Club Band
                      My Sgt. Pepper
              Re: Singles and Football Focus
                Coffee, Cola, or TWA Tea?
               MY Sgt Pepper, and breathing
Are you all sitting comfortybubble two-square on your botty?
                      crap and stuff
                         WHOOPS!
                    Re: My Sgt Pepper
       Hey -- let's push for XTC in "The Simpsons"!
           Re:.........Liarbird: more on Fripp?
             and all the charts sliding down
                      Opinions-R-Us
           Dr. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
                    Bollocks More Like

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You can read it in your prayer book.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Message-Id: <199903252128.WAA13681@mail.knoware.nl>
From: "Mark Strijbos" <mmello@knoware.nl>
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 22:40:24 +0000
Subject: The Printed Word Should Be Forgiven

Dear Chalkers,

The one and only Molly shared some thoughts with us...

> And I don't think this is censorship.  It's just showing some
> discression, so we can protect the innocent kids that read this.
First of all: I'd say that any "kid" who's into XTC isn't that
innocent. Am i right, kids? And most kids love "dirty words" and the
effect they have on certain adults. oh, the fun we had :)

Secondly: it's discretion

> If you had a child would you want him or her to read swear words or
> some of the other things that go on here?
Yes. I honestly don't think that reading this list will harm your
mind. A starving child on your tv screen, now that's what i
call obscene and disturbing

Besides, it's a matter of principle: if you are the parent and
you are worried, you have to take action and control their access to
the internet instead of infringing on our right to think and say
what we bloody well like.

> I don't like censorship either, but we have to be a little careful.
Are you suggesting 'mild' censorship can be a good thing? Don't you
LISTEN to those XTC lyrics you claim to love? Have you ever played
Books Are Burning? Perhaps you should play it again and pay some
attention to the not-so-subtle point Andy is making in that song.

yours in xtc,

Mark Strijbos at The Little Lighthouse
 http://www.knoware.nl/users/mmello/
     or http://come.to/xtc

------------------------------

From: "STEVE PERLEY" <steveandlauren@grolen.com>
Subject: Re: Fripp/Damned
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 16:52:53 -0500
Message-ID: <01be7709$d5b56b00$286140d8@steveandlauren.grolen.com>

>Speaking of Robert Fripp, here's what I've been wondering for years: Why is
>Fripp pictured on the back of the Damned's "The Light at the End of the
>Tunnel" compilation? Did he work with the Damned, at some time? I once
>asked the King Crimson clique this, but they didn't have a clue -- heck, I
>seriously doubt they had even HEARD of the Damned. Anyone know? There's
>gotta be a slew of '70s UK-punk fanatics on this list....
>Eb

When "Light at the End of the Tunnel" came out, there was also a companion
biography and sheet  music book.  Yep, I have all three!
I remember having the same question first time I saw the cover.  I'll have
to look it up to be sure, but I think that Fripp was involved in some sort
of aborted production of or collaboration with the Damned.  If memory
serves, the whole episode resulted in only a sentence or two in the book.
Whatever it was, Fripp didn't end up playing on or producing anything by the
Damned.

As for XTC content:

I really like AV1 a lot, so don't get me wrong...but I think I've played it
to death.  I got it the day it was released, played it over and over again
for a couple of weeks, and now I just can't listen to it anymore for a
while.  So sue me.

Steve

------------------------------

Message-ID: <000701be770d$5888e7c0$31f945cf@mabrey>
From: "Andisheh Nouraee" <mabrey@mindspring.com>
Subject: XTC Hotlanta, Again
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 17:17:58 -0500

At Criminal Records, a fine independent record store in the Little Five
Points neigborhood of Atlanta, lists AV1 as the 4th best seller in the
store.  It is also ranked #1 for storeplay.

Also, check out Billboard magazine.  XTC has an ad on the cover.  Very cool.
Thank you TVT!

Andisheh

------------------------------

Message-ID: <50DB5A137E82D2119B6300805FA60326046DA8@uoponlex1.apollogrp.edu>
From: Travis Graham <tpgraham@apollogrp.edu>
Subject: Mr. Shearer weighs in
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 14:53:57 -0700

Here's the response I got from my request to hear all of AV1 on Le Show.  I
wonder what songs he doesn't like...?

> -----Original Message-----
> From:	harry shearer [SMTP:lemail@interworld.net]
> Sent:	Thursday, March 25, 1999 1:43 PM
> Subject:	Re: More Apple Venus v.1!
>
> Actually, I already played Easter Theater, so that's three, and there are
> a couple of tunes on the album I don't like.  But I'll roll through the
> rest of them, rest assured.  One of my favorite bands.

------------------------------

Message-ID: <000a01be770e$fc66de00$31f945cf@mabrey>
From: "Andisheh Nouraee" <mabrey@mindspring.com>
Subject: Liarbird
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 17:29:44 -0500

John in Chicago said:

>Lastly, could someone tell me the story behind why XTC cannot discuss the
>lyrics of "Liarbird?"  Song Stories has a one liner - claiming XTC cannot
>talk of the lyrics due to a lawsuit with Ian(?), their first Band Manager.

>Someone help, I'm dying to know..............

My answer:

If you've got the lyrics to "I Bought Myself A Liarbird" handy, substitute
the phrase "Lousy, Crooked Manager" everywhere that the word "Liarbird"
appears.  The liarbird is an Andy Partridge metaphor for the band's then
manager.  He has confirmed as much in interviews.  Don't hold me to it, but
I think he's referring to a man named Ian Reid.  I'm sure some other on the
list can confirm or correct his name.

I've never heard of such a thing before, but the band is apparently
contractually limited in what they are allowed to say about him.

Until tomorrow,
Andisheh

------------------------------

From: "STEVE PERLEY" <steveandlauren@grolen.com>
Subject: More regarding Fripp and The Damned
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 17:35:39 -0500
Message-ID: <01be770f$cf3c4180$356140d8@steveandlauren.grolen.com>

OK, so I dug out the book and spent half an hour flipping through it looking
for the paragraph about Fripp.  You're welcome.
Seems that in 1982, RF co-produced and played on a song with The Damned
called "Fun Factory" for Bronze Records.  It was never (at press time -
1987) released.  Around that time, he also joined them onstage at the
Hammersmith Odeon.
That's it.  One brief paragraph and he gets his picture on the cover.

Steve

Want XTC content?   "Phhhhhhhtttttt" - That's the sound of me blowing you a
rasberry...It's a Fruit Nut pun...oh, never mind...

------------------------------

Message-ID: <001e01be7710$2683b360$31f945cf@mabrey>
From: "Andisheh Nouraee" <mabrey@mindspring.com>
Subject: Sgt. Rutter's Only Darts Club Band
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 17:38:04 -0500

My Sgt. Pepper was XTC's Oranges & Lemons and The Beatles (White Album).  Is
anybody's Sgt. Pepper actually Sgt. Pepper?

I'm going to go launch cruise missiles now.

Yo!
Andisheh

------------------------------

From: JStrole@aol.com
Message-ID: <3b453438.36faba48@aol.com>
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 17:35:52 EST
Subject: My Sgt. Pepper

I know it would be obvious to claim an XTC lp as my Sgt. Pepper, but I'm
afraid it's true. English Settlement totally changed the way I looked at
music.  When I heard this record when it came out I thought of music in a
specific way what do you expect from a 17 year-old.  I literally stopped
listening to 75% of the records that I owned at the time.  I borrowed my
friends 2-lp British import and proceeded to tape it (and felt like I was
single handedly killing the record industry, does anyone remember 1982?).
Oddly enough I bought just about every album they made up to that point except
English Settlement.  Man, I listened to that tape until it broke.  Actually
the reason why I didn't buy it was because I insisted on having the 2 lp
British version, which was not easy to find.

Which brings me to my next point.  When it was noted that AV1 was the first
CD/LP without lyrics since English Settlement.  I'm afraid that's incorrect.
GO2 was the last LP not to have lyrics.  In fact English Settlement originally
had a rather interesting lyric sheet that was written out in the same font as
used on the cover.  This was written on one side of each inner sleeve with who
played what underneath each song.  On the other side of each inner sleeve had
pictures of the band taken on  the grounds of The Manor, I believe and some
bornze age drawings of dogs and pigs and such.

Black Sea had the lyrics on the inner sleeve written in a cursive style and
Drums & Wires looked as if it were type written in red on it's inner sleeve.

GO2 had the Moulding Map of Swindon on the inner sleeve.  On the other side of
the inner sleeve was a poem written by Andy and some photographs taken around
Swindon of various people.  It also included a fold put poster of XTC with a
missing part of text from the back of the cover.

Who doesn't miss the packaging on LPs.  I mean you would never be able to
recreate the writing on the inner sleeves of English Settlement & Black Sea
and read it on a CD booklet.

Harry "I finally get River of Orchids!" Strole

------------------------------

Message-ID: <$wYnCBA1gr+2EwkP@demon.co.uk>
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 22:27:01 +0000
From: Jon Holden-Dye <jon@jhd-designs.demon.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Singles and Football Focus

In article <000001be7319$f63ca9e0$72e6abc3@vucqprlj>, David Seddon
<D.Seddon@btinternet.com> writes
>because APs voice in TLB segues into a trumpet.  Has anyone ever heard of
>Yargo?  An excellent live band I once saw live in Bath?  Well, their lead
>singer had the most remarkable voice.  It really did sound like a trumpet!!

Hi David. Got, more or less everything they ever recorded. Saw them in
Bournemouth and Amsterdam. Woefully neglected band, really. Pretty
unique, sparse style. Let me know if you're still keen, and I'll do a
tape for you (bollocks to all this high-tech CD-R / MP3 type stuff -
it's only rock 'n' roll).
--
Jon Holden-Dye
"I like to keep an open mind - but
not so open my brain falls out." (Anon.)

------------------------------

Message-ID: <36FAB63D.E92EFFF3@averstar.com>
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 18:18:36 -0400
From: Harrison Sherwood <sherwood@averstar.com>
Organization: Averstar, Inc.
Subject: Coffee, Cola, or TWA Tea?

"Language is the best thing we've got and it's useless" --Andy Partridge

Ladies and Genitalmen:

The female sex organ is a wonderful thing, a bounty of mysteries and
delights, capable of administering the sweetest mercies and slaking the
most torturous of longings. I stand second to none in my admiration for
it. I am one of its staunchest public supporters--and of those wonderful
people who possess one.  No matter which way you swing on the grand porch
glider we call life, it is the Mother of Us All, and to use its name as a
term of opprobrium would be the act of a total dick.

But this is a poverty-stricken age, where we measure each other neither by
the color of our skin nor by the content of our characters but by the
extent of our victimhood. When we should be seeking commonality among
ourselves, when we should be banding together in compassionate solidarity
against the depradations of late capitalism and crappy weather and tax
bills and a bum carburetor and the Bad Shit That Kills Love, instead we
upbraid each other for our own desperately unreliable interpretations of
the otherwise meaningless grunts we are pleased to call our language!

The Man chuckles and rubs his hands together: "There: give 'em some moral
outrage over naughty words--that oughtta keep 'em busy for a while.... Now,
about that Kosovo landgrab...."

Which is worse, please: Dominic employing the occasional verbal offense to
feminism (using a term that, as he pointed out, is completely natural and
unquestioned in the circles in which he moves), or the criminally misguided
but bewilderingly prevalent notion that one can rid the world of the evils
thereof simply by banishing the words that denote them?

So now I don the black armband, raise the clenched fist, and herewith
submit The Dominic Lawson Memorial Paragraph of Lexical Solidarity:

Tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@
tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@
tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@
tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@
tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ tw@ butthole tw@.

------

> From: Chauncy14@aol.com
> Subject: Nonsuch, the Divorce, Song Stories, & Liarbird

> Lastly, could someone tell me the story behind why XTC cannot discuss the
> lyrics of "Liarbird?"  Song Stories has a one liner - claiming XTC cannot
> talk of the lyrics due to a lawsuit with Ian(?), their first Band Manager.

Ah, they were just being pussies. [Ba-da-bing!]

XTC entered into long and ruinously costly litigation with Ian Reid in
1984, over a large tax bill that had been incurred and unpaid during his
managership of the band, and a subsequent counterclaim of unpaid commission
on royalties.  One of the outcomes of the suit was that XTC agreed never to
discuss their relationship with Reid. "Liarbird" is about Reid. Ergo, no
discussion.

------

> From: Dan Phipps <phipps@schoollink.net>

> Wow, ya'll! --
> Have you guys and gals checked out the
> neato Hallmark electronic greeting card
> that Andy & Colin sent to us all here???
> Man, this is GREAT!!

That was beautiful, wasn't it?

------

My Sergeant Pepper was Sergeant Pepper. No, Revolver was my Sergeant
Pepper.  Wait a minute, no, Satanic Majesties was my Sergeant Pepper, and
yet, paradoxically, my Sergeant Pepper was Between the Buttons. No, hold
it--the first three cuts of Piper at the Gates of Dawn was my Sergeant
Pepper. The rest of the album was my Village Green Preservation
Society. Smiley Smile was my Smile, and Never Mind the Bollocks was my
Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones Ltd. Remain in Light was my Goodbye
Yellow Brick Road, and Nevermind was my Rust Never Sleeps. I'm getting the
feeling that Why Don't You Get A Job? is going to be my Dookie, but it's
soon to tell. Dookie was my Absolutely Free.

My Sergeant Pepper was a street-vendor's cry at dawn in Trieste in 1938,
when Lydia and I became lovers and Hitler annexed the Sudetenland. My
Sergeant Pepper was an ashtray brimming with Luckies butts as the
amphetamines kicked in and Ginsberg wouldn't shut up in our dorm room at
Columbia. My Sergeant Pepper was Claude Shannon's Information Theory being
recited in the falling snow by a drunk one-legged carnie geek outside
Kremmling, Colorado as the H-Bomb tests went off at the Bikini Atoll. My
Sergeant Pepper was the bottle of tincture of merthiolate my mom used to
disinfect the place where Brucie McPherson hit me with a pine branch. A
mighty fortress is my Sergeant Pepper.  Like an Indian god, my Sergeant
Pepper has eight arms, which he waves sinuously as he performs the Great
Dance of Existence. Am I a butterfly dreaming I am my Sergeant Pepper, or
am I my Sergeant Pepper dreaming I am naked with Gillian Anderson in a
swimming pool full of mayonnaise?

This piece of pocket lint, shot through with tobacco shreds and dust mites
and held like a communion wafer in my trembling upturned palm? THIS is my
Sergeant Pepper.

Tw@.

Harrison "Lather. Rinse. Repeat." Sherwood

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 16:07:06 -0600
From: Nicole Malmquist <nevina@bresnanlink.net>
Subject: MY Sgt Pepper, and breathing
Message-ID: <19990325220419.AAA9564@pronell.bresnanlink.net>

I was 14, innocently immersed in the top 40 radio pabum, when I was hit
full force by Starfish by The Church. My life, as they say, was never the
same again. That fire burned for a good 10 years or so, showing me worlds I
could hardly believe existed, until I went through a slump and just
stopped. listening. to. music. Until one day, Radiohead's OK Computer was
recommended to me by an online frined. And in an interstellar burst... I
was born anew.

I don't have any one example of breathing in a song that I like the most,
but I usually find it to be very sexy or erotic, no matter what the subject
matter of the song.

Ta,
The Other Nicole
--
nevina@bresnanlink.net http://www.geocities.com/wellesley/3925
"And if you must put me in a box, make sure it's a big box
 with lots of windows, and a door to walk through" (Dan Bern)
 w.a.s.t.e.r #14946

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19990325231938.87800.qmail@hotmail.com>
From: "Duncan Kimball" <dunks58@hotmail.com>
Subject: Are you all sitting comfortybubble two-square on your botty?
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 15:19:37 PST

Good ... then I'll begin.

Hi Chalkalots

Sorry that this is TOTALLY off-topic, but given that most Chalkers seem
to have at least as much love for '60s English pop as I do, it will
undoubtedly be of interest, (although only specifically useful/relevant
to Aussie Chalkers):

I just got an email from our esteemed colleague P@ul Culnane, who let
slip the following exciting info - as you may know, Billy Bragg is
touring Australia in April, promoting the "Mermaid Avenue" album. On the
downside, he is sans Wilco; on the upside, the keyboard player of his
backing band, 'The Blokes', is none other than the legendary Ian "Mac"
McLagan, best known as the keyboard player in the Small Faces and The
Faces.

See you there!

Happydaystoytown

Dunks

------------------------------

Message-ID: <36FAC5F0.B74EA434@geocities.com>
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 18:25:36 -0500
From: AUTOreverse <autoreverse1@geocities.com>
Subject: crap and stuff

So many things to respond to, I hope I remember them all!

Did anyone else see the XTC bit on Mtv news a few weeks back? I think I
missed the first .00005 second(s) of it---if anyone else has the ENTIRE
deal recorded, PUH-LEEEEESE hook a brutha up. You  know I'm good for it!
Similarly, anyone who has the AV television commercial on NTSC (that's
North American standard) VHS is similarly encouraged to HOOK ME ON UP.

Similarly, I am ready to expand my XTC Video Empire. Specifically, I am
interested in trading for equal tape lengths, so if you have ANYTHING AT
ALL on NTSC format (that's paramount, I don't have a PAL converter)
that's not on the list at
http://www.netwalk.com/~stewart/xtcvideo.htm , please please please
e-mail me at once to arrange a trade! I'm feeling highly incomplete
lately.

A thought about TVT vs Virgin. I don't know about anybody else, but
don't labels usually start releasing singles BEFORE albums come out? Why
has it taken this long (a whole month! That's aeons in the muse-sac
industry!) for "Easter Theatre" to finally be released? Say what you
will but Virgin was prompt if nothing else.

Thanks to the great folks who keep sending me XTC clippings from their
local papers. That rules. I'll be typing them out and sending them to
Chalkhills as soon as I have a spare hour. One of the reviews of AV is
absolutely hysterical, it's so pathetic and negative.

I haven't seen this mentioned here yet: a Real Audio interview with Andy
and Colin from a few weeks ago. Where the hell were we?
http://www.liveconcerts.com/lcarchive/instudio/kcrw/990314/XTC/
Don't be alarmed, there's obviously nothing live on the show, just
another great opportunity to hear the guys chatting about music. If
Colin's voice gets any softer in his old age, he's going to just go
completely pastel!

surely forgetting a lot of things,
Ian C Stewart
XTC videos? Get 'em: http://www.netwalk.com/~stewart/xtcvideos.htm

------------------------------

From: "Gerardo Tellez" <gtellez@access1.net>
Subject: WHOOPS!
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 15:55:48 -0800
Message-ID: <000101be771b$014b7fa0$216768cf@ns1.access1.net>

I wrote:
>both ways. I asked Andy at the LA signing which way it went and he said
WITH THE POINTY END TO >THE RIGHT. Now if you open the jewel case you'll be
able to see the picture of Andy & Colin on

Well, I got a few e-mails after I said that. Why? Because it is wrong. It is
to the LEFT. Not right. I meant left. The pointy end is supposed to point to
the title. Sorry about the little misprint.
Gerardo

------------------------------

Message-Id: <v01540b03b32080d7b215@[192.168.0.72]>
Date: Fri, 26 Mar 1999 12:11:34 +1200
From: digja611@student.otago.ac.nz (James Dignan)
Subject: Re: My Sgt Pepper

>I'd have to say MY Sgt. Pepper was
>Elvis Costello's Armed Forces. Blew
>my 15 year old rural mid-Michigan
>mind wide open!

heh - my teenage musical awakening came in two phases: Black Sea (yes!) at
age 16, then Eno's Before and After Science, which I heard for the first
time the following year.

James

------------------------------

From: STakesh@aol.com
Message-ID: <8d5b797c.36fad9fd@aol.com>
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 19:51:09 EST
Subject: Hey -- let's push for XTC in "The Simpsons"!

Hi, everyone,

>>...Harry Shearer played Greenman on his show a
couple of weeks ago.  Well, on last Sunday's, 3/21
show he played Harvest Festival....>>

First, this is really promising, not as much because of the
exposure on his own radio show per se, but because H.S.
[what is it with bright, funny guy fans of XTC with the initials
H.S., anyway?  8 )] is really tight with the people at National
Public Radio, which airs excerpts of his shows periodically.
With fans/friends like this, can a big review of AVv1 on "All
Things Considered" be that far off?

But the Big Kahuna here is 2) "The Simpsons," of course.
Let's lobby Groening & co. to have Andy and Colin guest
voice the cartoon (playing themselves in the cartoon, of
course)!  Nothing against "Space Ghost," but many of us
(like me) don't get the 'Toon Network.

Allow me to kick-start a X-tatic thread here:  what plots
can you come up with to bring a bit of Swindon to
Springfield?  And what music would you ask them to
(re-)record for the episode?

Here's my elaborated, rather belabored first plot idea
(not likely to be seconded any time soon):

Springfield and Swindon become "twin-towned,"
establishing a relationship as "sister cities".   [Quick
montage:  Springfield's Mayor, announcing this in a
half-hearted sound bite for the TV news, is a shade
condescending to Swindon ("It's like Ahkron, only
less ah-ttractive" and announces that the next week's
visit by a goodwill delegation from Swindon will consist
of "a pair of musicians known as X..." [hasty aside to
aide, "uh, how do you say this, 'ecstasy' or 'X-T-C?'".
Aide: "Uh, X-T-C, I think".]  "...as X, T, C.  Well, I never
heard of them, but I'm sure that some of you have;
anyway, they're said to be the best band Swindon's got,
so be nice to them, even though they apparently don't
give concerts anymore, due to Andy Partridge's stage-
fright."  [Aside to aide:  "They won't even be giving a
concert?  What gives?  The aide shrugs.]

This is followed by his Swindon counterpart mentioning
Springfield's "alarmingly unsafe nuclear power plant and
classic dull American suburban sprawl," and announcing
that Springfield will be sending a certain "Krusty the
Clown," of uncertain fame from hosting a children's TV show.

Homer and Marge (and many others) haven't a clue as to
who XTC is, but Lisa, ever the discriminating aesthete, gives
a gasp of recognition while watching the local news and
after convincing her mother that these don't carry on like
your average "rock stars," but rather are gentlemanly
musical artists, quickly secures Marge's permission to
write a letter inviting Andy and Colin over for dinner.
(Homer is largely indifferent.)  Lisa practices some XTC
riffs on her saxophone in anticipation of their visit.

[Flash forward:  One Week Later].

(I'll leave Krusty's subplot to your imagination, folks.
Or maybe his boat goes down.  Whatever.)

XTC's adventures in Springfield include a tour of the
nuke plant, where the sight of Homer asleep at the
controls creeps them out.  Andy's wisecrack wakes up
Homer, who sheepishly offers each a doughnut.  Then,
a quick stop at Apu's convenience store (to buy Coco
Puffs and a pair of lottery tickets.  "You wanna go 50-50
on these," Andy asks.  "Sure," Colin says.)

Apu recognizes them and after yelling at a familiar pair
of loitering juvenile bullies/delinquents ("Hey!  No thugs
in my store," he chides them), tells Andy and Colin
that although he knows only a couple of their songs
("Could 'av fooled me," Andy quips), he likes them a lot.

Clutching a letter from fan Lisa inviting them to her home
for dinner, the two disembark a city bus at the corner and
walk to the Simpsons' house.  Bart asks them why they
don't drive really cool muscle cars, if they're rock stars.
Andy briefly explains that they're not rich at all, just
working-class musicians with a strong cult following,
and that he personally has never even learned to drive.
[Bart gives a low whistle, dumbstruck, and says,
"Wow, that's really weird."]  After dinner, Colin insists
on helping Marge clean up and they discuss cooking
or growing fruit trees (she's tickled pink, of course),
while Lisa asks Andy to show her a few musical
tricks.  He confesses that she plays the sax much
better than him. (Maybe he suggest open tuning, if
there is such a thing on saxophones [or even if there
isn't!, ha ha!], or an alternate fingering, or something.)

Andy joins Homer to watch a few moments of vapid
evening TV, before they all head to the kids' school for
the commemorative concert, where the orchestra plays
an XTC medley in their honor.  One possibility:  Bart
raps "Dear God"?   Naaahhh...  But what song would
best showcase Lisa's solo capabilities?  And would
Andy and Colin be persuaded to step forward and join in?
Why the hell not!  Although any guitar Andy is handed
would have to be 3/4 in scale, of course.  Or maybe he
just pulls a harmonica out of his pocket!

After the show Homer takes them to Moe's Tavern.  Moe
offers each a free Watney's Red Barrel, grudgingly
including Homer and his drunk friend (who was already
there, of course).  The lads are polite, of course, but Moe
shrugs them off with a "Oh, it's nuthing.  Those imported
British beers have been sitting there gathering dust since
Diana and Charles were married."  [Pan to dingy, cobwebby
pile of Watney's.]  Andy, who has just taken a politely
enthusiastic swig, either does your classic spit take or
swallows and suffers.  Colin gently sets his down.  A
big belch from the drunk.  Andy and Colin share a worried
glance.   "It kind of reminds me,.." "of life on the road?!"
Both chuckle and take a labored, slow pull on their drinks, and

CLOSE TO CREDITS.  The closing theme is "The
Mayor of Simpleton," as stumblingly sung by Homer.
************************
Stephanie "exiting Stage Left" Takeshita

------------------------------

Message-ID: <000a01be7724$377fc140$5ab52299@default>
From: "Joe Funk" <jomama68@email.msn.com>
Subject: Re:.........Liarbird: more on Fripp?
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 19:01:41 -0600

Chalkerz!!!!

Been lurking for a copla' weeks...had to get my 2 cents worth in!

To John in Chicago whom asked:
>Lastly, could someone tell me the story behind why XTC cannot
>discuss the lyrics of "Liarbird?"  Song Stories has a one liner -
>claiming XTC cannot talk of the lyrics due to a lawsuit with Ian(?),
>their first Band Manager.

Well, you were right!  The song is about Ian Reid, their original Manager,
who had them sign a "gagging order"!!  They were told not to discuss "What
an Arsehole he was", quotes AP in an interview by Paul Cunane ( It's posted
in the Little Lighthouse..Thanks! Mark!), titled " Unnaivening in Ecstasy".
Go check it out!!

On to Fripp....I missed out on Projekct Three here in Austin the other
night, but I did find an unusual Fripp appearance while flipping through my
old vinyl's the other night.......It had been years, but I seemed to
remember seeing his name on an old Van derGraff Generator lp "Pawn Hearts"!
Bring back any memories?  Probably not to many!  Some guy named Peter
Hammill.....?  Friend of PG!!  Enough said.  Well, to make a long story
short, there is a picture of Robert on the inside sleeve, and his name is
mentioned in the credits.  Shame I no longer own a turntable, 'cause from
what I remember this LP was a cross between Crimson, PG's Genesis, and
Captain Beefheart! Anyone out there have any Van DerGraff on CD?  Please let
me know what label they released under if you do!

XTC song of the day - "We're all Light" ( even the demo had me humming it
all day!)
Non......such..

Jomama

------------------------------

From: "Wesley Hanks" <whanks@earthlink.net>
Subject: and all the charts sliding down
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 17:54:44 -0800
Message-ID: <000201be772b$9eff8ec0$cc1c1d26@wes>

Steel yourself friends,
 From Billboard, the US chart positioning for AV1 since its release:

"This Wk: 193 Last Wk: 140 2 Wks Ago: 106 Wks on Chart: 3
Title: APPLE VENUS VOL. ONE
Artist: XTC
Lbl/#/DstLbl: TVT 3250
$ Cassette/CD: 10.98/16.98
Peak Pos: 106"

But...on the other hand, AV1 cracked Japan's top 20 debuting at #14, the
highest for a foreign pop release.

"All I Dream of is A Friend"
Wes Hanks

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19990326025101.28893.qmail@hotmail.com>
From: "Duncan Kimball" <dunks58@hotmail.com>
Subject: Opinions-R-Us
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 18:50:59 PST

Me again ... (run for it, Keith)

Andy and Colin's E-card was delightful. Thanks, fellas!

BTW - pardon my pedagogy, but I thought I'd chuck in this info for those
less venerable Chalkers who may not 'get' the Enoch Powell joke:

Powell is (to say the least) a controversial figure in British political
history. He was an passionate monetarist, a rabid nationalist and
opponent of the European Union, a "congenital Tory"  regarded by many as
a founding father of the hardline eco.-rat. 'philosophy' now generally
known as Thatcherism.

Although he consistently claimed not to be a racist (i.e. he said he did
not believe that any one race was supoerior to another) Powell became
(in)famous for his outspoken denunciation of non-white immigration into
Great Britain in the 1960s. He was subsequently sacked from the
Conservative shadow cabinet by Edward Heath and became  'persona on
grata' in British politics. He was a formidable public and parliamentary
speaker, deploying up his arguments with considerable eloquence and
rhetorical skill (Powell was also a noted classical scholar and had been
Professor of Greek at Cambridge). He became a major embarassment to the
Tories when he made his notorious "Rivers of Blood" speech in Birmingham
in 1968, which used a quotation from Virgil to suggest that non-white
immigration could lead to race warfare in Britain:

   "Like the Roman, I seem to see 'the River Tiber foaming with much
blood'"

Scarily, Powell's intransigently extremist politics and his
"disfellowshipping' from British politics have made him something of a
hero to 'nationalist' (i.e. neo-nazi) groups in Europe and America. He
died in 1998 ... and good riddance.

Andy sure has a weird sense of humour - but I like it!

* ----------------------------------------------

Re: "My Sgt Pepper", kristi wrote:

>Ah, mine was either Squeeze's "East Side Story" <snip>
>
>--kristi

Bless you kristi - what a wonderful record that is. Very dear to my
heart. Many happy memories there.

* ------------------------------------------

>From: Philip Lawes <PJL@plextek.co.uk>

>I was brought up in Crediton, Devon, where St. Boniface was
>born (in 680, I think). Legend has it that Boniface, who introduced
>Christianity to what is now Germany, found one of the tribes that >he'd
converted on a previous visit had returned to worshipping an oak >tree.
So he, of course, chopped it down.

Gee, those Christian saints were top blokes, weren't they? So tolerant,
so accommodating of divergent religious practices ... I was watching
something about the Incas on Discovery channel last night, and they
showed a sacred site in Peru, which dated back to pre-Inca times. There
were niches carved into a large rocky outcrop; according to the
voice-over, these had once held statues of various deities, which the
Spanish missionaries had obligingly toppled over and pounded into dust.
(Not to mention the thousands of priceless Mayan codices, which they
found to contain only "heresies and lies of the Devil" and therefore
consigned to the flames, thus destroying almost every written record the
Maya ever made).

There's just SO much to like about that religion ...

* ------------------------------

Re: pushing your car from the road

I'm with Andy. Cars suck. Flame away - so long as your using methane.

* ------------------------------
John <Chauncy14@aol.com> asked:

>Subject: Nonsuch, the Divorce, Song Stories, & Liarbird
>
>First, it is said that it was during the 7 year strike that Andy got
>divorced; according AV1 reviews, the book and individuals on this
>list.
>
>However, after listening to Nonsuch, and reading lyrics, it occurs to
>me that many songs, dear I say "most" songs, are symbolic of a
>breakup or a divorce.

<snip>

>Or am I totally off?  AV1 cannot be solely the result of the divorce.
>But, could be solely the work of the emotion feeding from the
>Divorce. in disguise.

Well, Andy rarely writes in one dimension, so although the divorce
figures prominently, AV1 is, as discussed recently, also "about" the
Battle of Virgin, and probably to some extent the gradual souring of his
partnership with Dave. But all of that is only one facet of the songs,
and like all great songwriters, Andy (and Colin) write in a way which
resonates in many other areas. They are "about" what happens to them,
but they apply to, and can be identified, by all.

That being said, I think the references to problems in Andy's
relationship with Marianne go much further back than Nonsuch; I'd
contend that they start to appear at least as early as English
Settlement. I think Andy himself mentioned (in Song Stories?) that
"Snowman" touched on it. Two general theme have cropped up in Andy's
songs since ES:

A) Andy's problems in his relationship with Marianne, and his anxiety
about being the 'provider for his family - Snowman, Supergirl, Earn
Enough For Us, Love on a Farmboy's Wages, etc

B) his ('difficult') relationship with Erica Wexler, which Andy shied
away from at first, but which was finally enabled by his divorce -
Seagulls, Another Satellite, Then She Appeared, etc

>Lastly, could someone tell me the story behind why XTC cannot discuss
>the lyrics of "Liarbird?"  Song Stories has a one liner - claiming >XTC
cannot talk of the lyrics due to a lawsuit with Ian(?), their >first
Band Manager.

My understanding is that their enforced silence is one of the conditions
of the legal settlement with "the Lairbird", by which they were able to
extricate themselves from his management clutches, and that Andy and
Colin are legally constrained from making any statements at all about
their former management. But I'd like to know more (without risking a
lawsuit of course). Mark? Paul? Anyone?

* -------------------------------

Penultimately: aren't we getting a little precious this "bad language"
thing. Why, Molly are you so worried about offending the sensitive eyes
of the "kids" who read this list? Sorry, but I'm with Dom on this one. I
deplore any attempt to restrict freedom of expression in this list
(although I have my qualms when it comes to mentions of <gulp> Billy
Joel). I haven't read any language on this list that I find personally
offensive (at least nothing my kids haven't heard when I hit myself with
a hammer or spill the paint or yell at the telly).

Certainly I've read nothing worse than anyone would be likely to hear on
late-night TV or at an M-rated movie. "Profanities" are an ancient and
colourful part of our language, and IMHO most of the taboos about
swearing society stem from upper-class language snobbery and the
religious prudery and the inherent fear/rejection of sex and sexuality
programmed into society at large by Protestantism.

I like swearing. It's fun. It sounds good. Bloody bloody bloody poo bum
wee tit. Drink! Feck! Arse!

* -------------------------------

Finally - I think I said it already, but once again: vale Ernie Wise. I
loved those plays what you wrote.

Dunks

------------------------------

Message-ID: <19990326043212.87508.qmail@hotmail.com>
From: "Amanda Owens" <daveizgod@hotmail.com>
Subject: Dr. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 22:32:11 CST

Okay, I'll bite and put my 2 pence in here. Like some others, I have a
different Sgt. Pepper for each age group:

early childhood-"Headquarters"-The Monkees. This was the first album I
bought with my own money. I was 7 years old, and I still have it.
(Chewing gum, pencil marks and all.)
pre teen-"Dr. Feelgood"-Motley Crue. Goes to show
how...ahem...."advanced" my tastes grew to by the time I was 11. I
played this one to death for months after I got my hands on it.
teens-"God Shuffled His Feet"-Crash Test Dummies. Well DUH! This one
introduced me to the wonders of Brad Roberts and was the gateway drug to
my discovering XTC.

Speaking of which, I concur with Ben Gott on the new Crash Test Dummies
album. If you despised Peter Pumpkinhead, if you hated MMMx's 4, give
'em one more shot. Ellen Reid sings lead on three songs, and she sounds
NOTHING like she did when she "sang" PP. She actually sounds feminine!
(Not to mention Brad Roberts singing a few tunes completely in
falsetto.)

Tis all for now,
Amanda C. Owens
"It seems the thinkers you call greatest are the sort who often fall ill
young or pine away. How can they help but drag the species down?"-Brad
Roberts
XTC song of the day-I Am the Audience
non XTC song-Get You In the Morning-Crash Test Dummies

------------------------------

Message-Id: <4782AD6ADDBDD2119B570008C75DD5C1BB03@MGMTM02>
From: Lawson Dominic <LawsonD@parliament.uk>
Subject: Bollocks More Like
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1999 17:59:44 -0000

Right, I've had enough of this. Sorry Molly, but this is getting ridiculous.

>>Well, you have to remember there are kids that read this list

Yes, but they're not my kids. Parents have a responsibility to protect and
care for their children. I do not. If kids have access to Chalkhills then
that's not my fault. If they read swearwords (which, incidentally, they
will inevitably pick up anyway, regardless of what parents might do) that
isn't my problem either. Sorry, but if you allow your children free access
to the Internet, they will soon read many worse things than some English
fool saying "twat". Oops, there I go again.

>>I'm sorry you're offended by some of usbeing "thin skinned", but I find
swearing very inappropriate.
I'm not offended by people's reactions, but I do object to being ticked off
for using language which adults should be able to deal with without too
much discomfort. I am aware that not all of us swear, but ultimately they
are only words and if you're offended by them then it obviously doesn't
take much to upset you. Racism is offensive. Homophobia is
offensive. Violence is offensive. Swearing is arguably childish and
unnecessary, but it exists and ultimately it's harmless. In fact, most
people swear. It's an important part of the language, but don't get me
started on that one - we'll be here all night.

>>There arebetter ways of saying stuff without swearing.
In certain cases, yes, you're right. There is, however, no better way of
expressing extreme emotions than using a few well-placed expletives (IMHO,
natch). When I accidentally stub my toe on a door I do not go "ooh, that
hurt quite a lot", I swear my ****ing head off. This is not because I am
inarticulate, or lacking in the necessary skills to convey my thoughts, it
is because extreme situations & emotions (pain, anger, hatred etc) demand
extreme responses.

>>when you're in a public forum you have to use somediscrssion, because you
don't know whose reading this
Yes, but I do know who's reading this. You are. And I'd like to credit you
with enough intelligence to allow others to express themselves freely. No
one is forcing you to read my posts, and realistically you should have
worked out how I operate by now. Sometimes I'm quite rude, so I'm told.
>>And I don't thinkthis is censorship. It's just showing some discression,
so we can prtectthe innocent kids that read this.
Classic PMRC bullshit. "It's not censorship because we're protecting
children". No, no, no. Absolute bollocks. It is censorship and it's also
quite dishonest. "Let's all pretend that everything's nice and that no one
swears". Swearwords wouldn't cause half the kerfuffle (and that's a great
word isn't it?) they do if people admitted that their use is widespread.
Like with all right-wing nonsense, the desire to eradicate "rude" words is
derived solely from the desire to control people, their language and
ultimately their thoughts. Read Orwell's "1984" if you don't believe me.
Over the top? Maybe, but from little acorns....
>>If you had a child would you want himor her to read swear words or some of
the other things that go on here?
If I was foolish enough to bring a little Dom or Dominique into the world I
would like to think I'd bring them up to have respect for other people. That
doesn't mean I'd pretend that the world is an entirely lovely place and nor
does it mean that I would "protect" them from so-called foul language.
Sorry, but I love the English Language a great deal, as do most of us, and I
fail to see how a few tiny words are likely to corrupt the minds of the
young. Apart from anything else, they're great words; immensely versatile,
imbued with masses of comic and dramatic potential. Granted, children need
to be taught that certain words are inappropriate in certain situations, and
that certain terms of abuse are completely unacceptable (and I presume
everyone realizes that I'm referring to racist slurs and so on) but I think
it's morally wrong to bring your children up to be uptight prudes who can't
tell the difference between honest self-expression and Mein Kampf.
Still, at least you realized I was being sarcastic.
Dom.

------------------------------

End of Chalkhills Digest #5-150
*******************************

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