Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #5-133

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 5, Number 133

                 Saturday, 13 March 1999

Today's Topics:

                    stuff about things
                          See Ya
             Cadbury's Chocolate Nipple Brown
          Chalkers: Austin, TX, Dog and Duck Pub
                    Jukebox selection
                Apple Venus and LA Signing
     dom, davidoh, molly, et. al. plus Lady Hamilton
                    A need to respond
                   the toronto signing
               more andy @ toronto stories
             Stuart Maconie's AV1 review in Q
         THREE singles from Apple Venus?????????
                      AV1 Ad on TV!
  I think of the dirt I'll be wearing for a shirt . . .
                     Re: Climb Aboard
             Greenman vs. Spoonman, revisited
                   I'd like that jokes
                     Re: Beauty & XTC


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    The views expressed herein are those of the individual authors.

    Chalkhills is compiled with Digest 3.7 (John Relph <>).

But this is your court and they are your dogs.


Message-ID: <006601be6cd9$0aa5e5a0$755791d2@johnboud>
From: "John Boudreau" <>
Subject: Inroads
Date: Sat, 13 Mar 1999 07:37:31 +0900

Somebody wrote :

>It's good to see the excitement over AV1 hasn't peaked yet. A couple
>digests back, someone mentioned that AV1 discussion had crossed internet
>lines into the Elvis Costello list. Today, I found that it had (quite
>favorably) leached into the Catherine Wheel list. Has anyone seen other
>inroads made anywhere?

After recommending it to everyone on THE KINKS and FAIRPORT CONVENTION
lists, I have read copious favorable comments so apparently quite a few
folks went out and got it . Like most of you , I am recommending to
EVERYBODY .  You certainly don't have to be an XTC fan to appreciate APPLE
VENUS . My 11 year old daughters friends LOVE IT .  I sold a copy to my
daughter's home room teacher and he told me just yesterday it doesn't leave
his cd player ; he says it is the best thing he has heard in many a year (
this guy is a big Ryuichi Sakamoto fan ) . The music teacher at the junior
high ( my present place of employment ) - who normally only listens to
classical music - can't stop talking about how bloody brilliant AV1 is.  I
put a few songs from AV1 and TB on a cassette for a kid at school ( he
begged me after hearing ET , ICOH and ILT on the school's PA during
lunchtime ) ; he has since gone out and purchased BOTH on his meager
monthly allowance !

Going to work on my in-laws next ...

John in Japan


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 13:33:27 -0800
From: Jon Drukman <>
Organization: GameSpot, Inc.
Subject: stuff about things

hi.  i used to be on this list back in the late 80's but i've strayed
from the fold.  AV1 and the Song Stories book have got me piqued enough
to pop back in.

regarding "xtc leaching into other discussion lists", the weirdest xtc
crossover appearance to date has to be zombies, the meat beat manifesto
fan list.  there is a connection though - jack dangers, the main guy in
MBM, used to be the main guy in Perennial Divide, and PD had a song
produced by Andy Partridge called "Beehead."  The other connection is
that Jack is from Swindon, and used to be a tape-op/gopher at a studio
in Swindon where XTC worked at some point.

although meat beat are mainly a pounding techno-esque band with few
lyrics these days, jack is really into xtc, and the beach boys too.

in case anyone cares, i think AV1 is really great.  my favorite tracks
are "river of orchids" and "your dictionary."



Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 16:50:51 -0600 (CST)
From: John Fulton <>
Subject: sheds
Message-Id: <>

Q. Can one coherent world-view possibly accomodate these
   seemingly disparate statements????
To wit:
Proposition for debate: Mr. Moulding and Mr. Drake.

Q.  Mr. Moulding, how say you?
A.  "A man must have a shed to keep him sane."

Q.  Mr. Drake, how say you?
A.  "There was a man who lived in a shed.  Spent most of his days out of
    his head."

More comments (^= my humble interpretation of this line):
Mr. Moulding:  "Tending my fruit, tending my fruit, well^, you've got to
                have a hobby...Some people think I've *gone out of my
		tree* (in lieu of italics, the asterisks are mine)
                ...*but apples and pears are me*" (more of my asterisks -
                they're better than half-asterisks).

Mr. Drake:     "Fame is but a fruit tree, so very unsound...Fruit tree,
                fruit tree, no one loves you but the rain in the air^."

Stepping into the atom age, John.


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 17:30:50 -0500
From: John Irvine <>
Subject: See Ya

I'm signing off now.  Unsubscibing.  Thanks to you all, you've been a
great source of xtc info for the years of wandering in the desert, but
now that the boys are back in the media spotlight I think I can do
without the daily minutia.  Cheers,

John Irvine


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 18:20:35 -0400
From: Harrison Sherwood <>
Organization: Averstar, Inc.
Subject: Cadbury's Chocolate Nipple Brown

> From:
> Subject: I surrender
> This is the most miserable, anal, elitist bunch of shit ever ( I should
                          --> ^^^^ <-- (tee, hee!)

> know, I am on the Beach boys list)
> I would rather just listen my XTC CDs
> stop my subscription NOW. Moderated lists are soooo boooring.
> Bye Bye.

*Sniff* I'm sure gonna miss him/her/it.

Ah, but it's not a total disaster. At least we were left with the fond
memories of all those many entertaining contributions The Arm gave us over
the years. Damned shame that despite all his/her/its best efforts, The
Tedium finally proved to be too much. Dammit, why is it always the *good*

So what'd you do to piss him/her/it off, John? Reject a UUencoded binary
upload of a stereo .WAV file of his/her/its Beach Boys tribute band?

Ah, well. On to bigger and better things:

There's been a huge slew of wonderful posts over the last few weeks, more
than the average Joe or Josephine could possibly keep up with, but one in
particular deserves at least some sort of hurried response:

Jill Oleson's wonderfully impassioned plea that we allow beauty back into
our lives brought to mind an essay from Harper's Magazine from a couple of
months ago ("But Is It Advertising? Capitalist Realism at the Clio Awards"
by Jonathan Dee--I'd link you to it, but Harper's seems to be distressingly
un-jacked-in to the Net. Thanks to TB for the last-minute fax!). The thesis
was that advertising and commerce have corrupted language to the point
where it is meaningless, and POMO artists have played along, permitting the
appropriation of imagery and sounds from vernaculars from the past and
"recontextualizing" them (hear that, sampling folks?) into works (of
advertising or art--the distinction is now irrelevant) that become ever
more self-referential and thus disconnected, at one remove, from the very
history they purport to quote--all in the service of commodity fetishism.

"It's a familiar story," says Dee: "a respected artist who is usually rich
already agrees to the recontextualization of his or her own work (or image,
or voice) in exchange for a bushel of money--Bob Dylan, Spalding Gray, Kurt
Vonnegut, Lena Horne, the Pretenders, Maurice Sendak, Beck, William
Burroughs, Meryl Streep, Jimmy Stewart, Salvador Dali, Laurie Anderson, ad
infinitum....  If the meaning of the the work in its original form isn't
permanently altered, it certainly experiences a sort of vertigo; I find it
hard to imagine, for example, that when Bowie and Eno sat down to write
'Heroes' they had in mind the derring-do of venture capitalists [as implied
in a recent series of ads for Microsoft]. In fact, by using only one line
from its chorus ('we could be heroes') to accompany what is in effect a
series of fables about people who have learned to stop worrying and love
monopoly,* the ad's makers have attached a meaning to the song very like
the direct opposite of its original meaning."

(And yes, in case you were wondering, our old pal Tom Frank from The
Baffler does indeed make a cameo appearance in this essay....)

Dee concludes, "Like any art, [advertising] follows the internal logic of
its own historical development; and the problem confronting it, at the apex
of its effectiveness, is the same problem that confronts literature,
painting, music: is there no such thing as a terminal point for irony?  The
notion that irony is approaching a kind of critical mass in our culture has
led some young artists to wonder mutinously about the hipness of
insincerity. The subversive deadpan that powered great art by Roy
Lichtenstein and Talking Heads has withered into a cultural reflex, a
complicity; the smirk of ironic disengagement exchanged between artist and
audience now refers to nothing but itself, like two mirrors held face to
face. Might the next few years see the advent of a more principled,
unhedged, lyrical, daringly guileless sort of art?"

I think so, and I happen to be listening to some of it right now....

Harrison "Push your Lexus from the road!" Sherwood

*God, I'm gonna miss Stanley Kubrick!


Message-ID: <900822C71730D2118D8C00805F65765C481910@EINSTEIN>
From: Jill Oleson <>
Subject: Chalkers: Austin, TX, Dog and Duck Pub
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 17:14:55 -0600

P U B L I C     N O T I C E :
* -----------------------------------------
     SxSW Chalk Fest
     Friday, March 19th, 5:30pm till we can have no more!
     Dog and Duck Pub
     406 West 17th Street, Austin, Texas, USA

for more information on the event, contact:

For more information on the pub, see:


Message-Id: <v03007801b30f640c7793@[]>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 18:42:56 -0600
From: John Yuelkenbeck <>
Subject: Jukebox selection

I put a copy of AV1 on the jukebox at the bar where I work part-time today.
My two favorite tracks, "River of Orchids" and "Greenman" both sound great
at the bar. Definitely a breath of fresh air when you're used to everyone
always playing Steve Ray Vaughn.

I don't find the intro to "River of Orchids" to be annoyingly slow--I think
it helps the intentional build of the piece. Also, the big difference
between "River of Orchids" and Philip Glass' music to me is: "River of
Orchids" is interesting.

Also, Tom Russell has released a new record, "The Man From God Knows
Where," an Irish immigrant song cycle featuring Iris DeMent, Dolores Keane,
and Dave Van Ronk. It's pretty far removed from XTC, but I figure, hey, I
like 'em both, so maybe someone else will, too. To find out more info, go


Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 17:04:54 -0800 (PST)
From: Christie Byun <>
Subject: Apple Venus and LA Signing
Message-ID: <>

Hi All!

You do not know how happy I was to shift up the CDs in my laserline to
accomodate a new CD in the XTC column (22 so far, if you include
the Dukes)!!  Yay!

Well, I just have to go on about my meeting the lads at the Virgin
Megastore signing in LA.  I've been enjoying other signing stories
immensely.  Keep 'em coming!

The signing was at 6 pm at Virgin in Hollywood (funny that they'd choose
the Virgin store), but I couldn't leave for it until 5:30.  What with all
the traffic ("Get out of my way!  Andy's waiting for me!"), I didn't get
to the place till 7.  When I got there, there was already a long line
stretching out the store and around the courtyard.  I took my place in
line and I chatted up the guy in front of me.  He kindly offered to keep
my place in line so I could go in the store to buy the album and have a
peek at Andy and Colin.  Well, there were stacks of AV on the display, so
I picked one up and then went upstairs to where the signing was.  I
made my way to the signing counter, and there they were, my musical
heroes!  I had to clutch the DVD rack to keep from fainting.  :)  I acted
like a silly fan and stared at them in utter amazement for at least a few
minutes.  You know how it is, you just cannot believe that you're looking
at the very people who make the music you love so much.

Anyway, I took a couple of photos, then bought the album, then stood in
line again.  I was near the end, and through the course of the evening,
only 7 people joined behind me.  I think at least 300 people passed
through all night.  I didn't know there were that many XTC fans in LA, let
alone California!

It was cold, but I'm sure not as cold as it was in say, New York.  But
standing and waiting in the cold wind can be pretty tedious.  I did go
inside a couple of times, just to watch the signing.  Anyway, while
inside, I chatted with a nice lady who said she was there because her
boyfriend is a huge fan (she's not).  She was there to take photos and
watch the crowd.  She commented on how Andy and Colin seemed like such
nice, courteous people--they were taking time with each fan, talking to
them and signing everything.  She also asked me which one I preferred and
I said I was more of an Andy fan.  She said that about 85% of the people
she'd asked said the same thing, and I said well, Andy writes about 85% of
the songs anyway.  And she said, "Well, I've been taking more pictures of
the other guy since I think he's better looking!"  Hee hee, sorry Andy!
She was kind enough to offer to let me cut in line with her boyfriend so I
wouldn't have to wait at the very end.  I declined it, with thanks.  Not
that I wasn't tempted, I just figured it'd be bad for my karma and I'd get
hit by a bus afterward or something.  Anyway, I neglected to get this nice
lady's name, so if her boyfriend is reading this, please let her know I
said hi and thanks for being so entertaining (she was a Caucasian woman,
about middle age, with long blond hair).

Back to the end of the line.  We finally got into the store by around
10:30.  And the lads took a bit of a break around 10:45.  I finally got
up to the signing counter at 11:17.  A TVT guy had come around before and
asked how many things I had for them to sign (I'd brought along some vinyl
as well), and asked that we limit it to one thing since Andy and Colin
were very worn out by now.  I asked permission for them to sign two
things, and was granted this.  Well, when it was finally my turn, I just
stepped in front of Andy and slid my English Settlement LP and AV cover
across the counter to him, and all I could think of to say was, "Hi Andy".
All previous repartee ("I think you're really cute, wanna run away
to the Bahamas?") slipped out of my mind and I could only stand there like
a goofy fan, grinning so wide I thought my face would crack in two (and he
could fix it with his kissing glue!).  My goodness.  Anyway, seeing that I
was obviously incapacitated, he extended his hand for a shake and said
hello.  Then I remembered to give him a thank you postcard from my pal
Hepzibah, plus an Idaho potato pin, and I said, "You'll always be our
favorite potato!"  Well, Andy took my AV and signed it upside down, then
he doodled on my ES cover--he put snow shoes and ski poles in the horse's
hooves and wrote "Snow Horse" on its back.  Then I moved on down to Colin
and said hello, gave him his thank you postcard and potato pin as well
(should've brought him a Ken doll).  What can I say, I was reduced into a
wordless ninny in the presence of my music heroes.  Well, I asked Colin if
I could get a photo with the two of them and he said yes.  I stepped
behind the counter and he moved in next to me and put his arm around my
shoulders.  Then he said, "Partsy, this young lady requires your
attention", so Andy looked up and posed with us.

An exhausting evening, but a great conclusion.  I'm glad to have finally
met the boys, even if it was only for a 20 second autographing.  I
appreciated how polite and attentive they were, even though they must have
been completely exhausted after meeting fans and signing autographs for
more than 5 hours.

I really like the new album.



Subject: dom, davidoh, molly, et. al. plus Lady Hamilton
Message-ID: <>
From: Meredith Brechtel <>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 21:12:27 EST

Howdy 'Hillians!

1)  It's been at least 2 weeks since I butted into the conversation here
and I just wanted to thank Dom, Molly, davidoh (and occasionally Duncs)
for helping me kick my TV habit.  Now I eagerly await the arrival of my
next digest (or 3 - how DO you keep up, John???) so I can follow the
flames and  offbeat commentary.  My husband is beginning to worry about
me, as he hears me start chuckling and giggling, which soon escalates
into full-blown guffaws as I scroll down.  So thanks, guys and gals, for
keeping me entertained!

2)  chris in ames wrote:  Perhaps someone more cultured than I can
explain the references in the
"I'd be your Nelson if you'd be my Hamilton" line of "I'd Like That"?

I believe Lady Hamilton was Admiral Nelson's mistress.

3)  Dom, I'm just about your age - actually a couple of years older;
still have all my hair too; still like the occasional Black Sabbath, Iron
Maiden or such ilk; and DO NOT consider myself to be approaching a
mid-life crisis anytime in the next 50 years or so, regardless of the
fact that I can actually listen to an Enya CD all the way through without
barfing.  And, just to make you feel a smidge better, I will, at risk of
seriously undermining my {mature ;-)} reputation on this list, admit that
I also still own 1 Springsteen album (and I'm mortified to admit that
it's not even one of the good ones - wait, there were none!)  At least
it's vinyl rather than CD so I can prove that it was a teen thing and not
some lapse of adult good judgment (HUH?)  Anyway, condolences on your
advanced aging.  We'll be sure to chip in for a wreath at your funeral.

4)  Did anybody bother to look up the word "orchiectomy" that reminds me
so much of the description "orchoustic"?  Just curious - I promise,
you'll never look at these reviews *quite* the same again!




Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 18:04:11 -0800 (PST)
From: Cheryl <>
Subject: A need to respond

Hello Chalk people,

I just have this overwhelming need to vent and air my

Nicole mauling Robert Wood:
>I actually like the damn stuff... okay! "I don't care
>what anybody else drinks" (there's the stupid chant,
>but in this case its true). I like the fucking taste.
>I like it better than anything but the Sam Adams
>cream stout (which is very very tasty). I like it I
>like it I like it I say! I only putit there because
>its what I would drink, not because I'm some
>ignorantAmerican Chick who was trying to be cool by
>not saying Budweiser.Can you TELL I took offense to
>your statement, CAN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really, now.-

My first thought on reading this was...CHILL OUT!
And thinking on it more my thought is...CHILL _OUT_!
I am just flabbergasted that you would pick something
like this to get offended over.  He didn't single
americans out and say we lot have bad taste. He is
only expessing the opinion that it doesn't taste as
good as it tastes in Ireland. And let me tell you,
probably every Irish person you come in contact with
will tell you the same thing.  You have not had
Guiness until you have drank it standing on Irish soil.

You took his post so personally which I can't see
why.  He did not single YOU out as "some ignorant
american chick" he merely made a general statement.
Try not to take things so personally.

I actually liked his post and understood what he was
trying to say.

Dave Hall spewed:
>AV1- Wasted money
>Flame away I don't give a shit. Dave Hall
I disagree but what you wrote really isn't worth my
time to flame.  I think you just wrote that to get
people up in arms.

20 lashes to my friend Pete Wright for writing:
>Only the Brits will get this one.
What?!  What?!  Tsk!  You are so wroooong on this.

>Every time I hear the first 8 bars (intro/build-up)
>of the wonderful 'Frivolous Tonight' , I can't
>control the urge to sing "Its coming Home , its
>coming home, its coming....footballs coming home "
>!!!!!! Try it - you'll see what I mean. Pete.
I actually thought this myself and *gasp* I'm an
american.  It does remind me of "Three Lions" from
The Lighting Seeds.
Never underestimate us foreingers! ; )

Floating on cloud nine from all the 'good things'
that are happening in my life,


Message-Id: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 22:18:38 -0500
From: David Oh <>
Subject: the toronto signing

if anyone, besides joe jarrett, who asked andy a question at the toronto
signing & would like to be identified by their name along with their
question in my tape transcription, please email me with the details. e.g.:
your name & what question(s) you asked andy.

credit will be given where credit it due, but i need the details, please!


peace & xtc,



Message-Id: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 22:27:46 -0500
From: David Oh <>
Subject: more andy @ toronto stories

a few things have come to mind in the aftermath of andy's visit...

although there may have been people who travelled further, i did meet a guy
who came to toronto all the way from cincinati! what was even cooler than
that was he was the only one there with a vinyl copy of av1!  so, his place
of origin & his little treasure made him a mini-celebrity, if only for that
afternoon. if you're out there, please stand up & be counted!

another thing i noticed, too; whenever someone had a copy of a "dukes"
album to be signed, & there were several copies of "25 o'clock" (vinyl),
"psonic psunspot" (also vinyl) & "chips from the chocolate fireside" (cd)
waiting to be signed, andy, god love 'im, signed them all as "sir john
johns". what a guy!

that's all for now...

peace & xtc,



Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 20:27:57 -0800 (PST)
From: Mark Rushton <>
Subject: Stuart Maconie's AV1 review in Q

Stuart Maconie's AV1 review in Q

Four stars out of Five


Message-Id: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 20:13:29 PST
Subject: Slaughter


As a novice to the Internet I only discovered Chalkhills 2 months ago: just
in time to see everybody warming up to and getting overheated by the Coming
of AV1. Reading about the Americans among you making travel plans for the
in-store appearances, and then reporting on autographs, handshakes and
actual conversation with our heroes has made me an envy-green man. I can
only hope that They will cross the SMALL divide for Their promotional tour
next time around.
Ah well, I shouldn't complain really: at least I'm one of those few happy
dinosaurs that can cherish the memory of XTC live on stage, in my hometown
Rotterdam, '78. (I remember that after their frenzied performance the next
band didn't have a leg to stand on - a bunch of rambling amateurs, utter
crap in comparison, called the Talking Heads. I endured these for about a
song and a half and then left for the bar, having witnessed a clear example
of the main attraction being slaughtered by their support act.)
I got a big surprise at my favourite local record shop "Plaatboef" (= Record
Crook - nice collection of 2nd hand vinyl, I picked up several XTC 12''
singles there). On Feb 18 I walked in and semi-casually asked if they would
have AV1 in store. "Yeah sure. Tomorrow," the crook said
bubblegum-chewingly. I almost toppled.
Next day (Friday 19) I went back, half convinced that the crook had been x)
lying, t) bluffing or c) mistaken, but... Behold! The peacock feather! To
top it all I laid my greedy hands on their only copy of TB, just arrived to
embellish their display case: a bargain at 60 guilders = $30. And all this
just before the weekend!
I spent a whole night with headphones on (girlfriend nicely tucked up in
bed, son also asleep, cats safely locked away) playing AV1, some TB, some
AV1... It's great to listen to these old and new songs alternately and find
that they don't bite eachother, like the good siblings they are.
All in all, though none of the songs on AV1 started me blubbering like
others once did (e.g. Peter Pumpkinhead - don't ask why), I think the album
is five-star. River of Orchids is one of the most extraordinary pieces of
music I've ever heard. You rarely get them as original as this.
It's good to read that AV1 gets at least some airplay in the US. There
hasn't been a chord of it on Dutch radio - it obviously doesn't fit in with
drab mainstream & miserable r&b (Timberlahand) & smegging Dutch-language
"rock" that terrorize our small part of the ether.

To add some bits to the lyrics discussions and criticisms:
I'm often already completely happy when just the feel of the words is right
- when the way they sound blends in with or accentuates the music (as it
does anywhere on AV1). Doesn't matter much to me if they're meaningless (I
Am The Walrus). Whenever the lyrics have a (single, double or hidden)
meaning or even add up to a beautiful poem (No Language In Our Lungs), then
that's just a bonus.

As to the spelling-out of words in Your Dictionary: I think it's rather a
clever find - at least it has never been done like this before (as far as I
Spelling out in lyrics is not always, as has been suggested, a cheap trick
anyway: the Rutles' C-H-E-E-S-E-A-N-D-O-N-I-O-N-S proves that it can be very
funny, for example. I think even D-I-S-C-O is not so stupid really (from the
songwriter's point of view) as it provides the sweating crowd on the
dancefloor with exactly the easy mantra-singalong stomp they want and

Sorry for taking up so much space but you've always got a lot to unload when
it's your first time...
The very best to you all,


Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 20:57:09 -0800 (PST)
From: Mark Rushton <>
Subject: THREE singles from Apple Venus?????????

I was making my usual rounds of several online record stores and I
noticed that CDParadise, a UK firm, lists three upcoming XTC singles.

The first single in the UK, Easter Theatre, most people already know
about.  It apparantly has a catalogue number of FRYCD80 on Cooking

I also saw a second planned single, for I'd Like That, due for release
in May 1999 in the UK.  It has a catalogue number of FRYCD83 on
Cooking Vinyl.

Even more exciting is an unannounced single due for release in July
1999 in the UK.  It has a catalogue number of FRYCD84 on Cooking Vinyl.

Check it out at to see for yourself!

Mark Rushton
Permanent Flame - The Bill Nelson Web Site


Date: Sat, 13 Mar 1999 00:42:07 -0500 (EST)
Message-Id: <v03007800b30f646620f5@[]>
From: Mitch Friedman <>
Subject: CommercialiTV

I was just casually watching Politically Incorrect when lo and behold a tv
commercial for Apple Venus (with flying graphics and images of Andy and
Colin and the cover art) comes on. "I'd Like That" was the soundtrack,
ending up with "sunflower".  The commercial had quotes from very positive
reviews. Looks like TVT has already surpassed Geffen and Virgin for trying



Date: Sat, 13 Mar 1999 00:31:54 -0500
Subject: AV1 Ad on TV!
Message-ID: <>
From: Ken A! <>

Hey Chalkies

I'm watching Politically Incorrect right now, and just 2 minutes ago,
there was a COMMERCIAL FOR AV1 !!!!!!!!! Wow! They played a few seconds
of easter Theater and then I'd Like That. And then it showed a bunch of
quotes from varous reviews, along with some psychedelic shots of Andy and

Has anyone else seen this? I know that this is only a late-night advert,
but man, I never expected to see a friggin commercial on TV for it!

An over-excited Ken
"Ignore the ignorance one last first time.
You'll never get used to it, but you will."


Message-ID: <>
Date: Sat, 13 Mar 1999 01:48:44 -0500
From: Don & Sue Parker <>
Subject: I think of the dirt I'll be wearing for a shirt . . .

. . . and I hope that I get old before I die. - TMBG

You know when I first heard this song all I got was this picture of
myself becoming old, poor and dirty.  Then the clouds of denial suddenly
parted as it hit me that this 'shirt of dirt' refers to my future grave.

Ah, death, the last taboo . . .

Ever notice how people make such a big deal about when to talk to their
kids about "the facts of life", and they are not even referring to any
of the *major* facts of life at all!  This is precisely where
storytelling, myth making, song writing, paganism and Apple Venus come
in.  And Joseph Campbell.  AV1 made me cry just once.  And it pissed me
off, because I just *know* that Andy set me up, the bastard!  It was
"The Last Balloon" with that unexpected - but musically foreshadowed -
surprise ending, with its twist of meaning, tone and music that
accompanies the "Drop us all!  You should drop us all!" <involuntary
shudder> Yes I do have kids.  Yes I accept that they are the future, and
everything I do is for them now.  Yes I understand how, in a way, I must
die so that others may live.

So the long wait is finally over, and it is every bit as good as I knew
it was going to be!  I'm talking, of course, about Harrison's mind
expanding deconstruction of AV1.  So I can't call it "boffo", Dom, but
"stonkingly good" is OK?  I'll never be able to keep that straight . . .

A similar idea was percolating in my head as I was reading the 'Wonder
Annual' lyrics quoted by Brookes just before getting to Harrison's
thesis:  "And if love equals knowledge then I side with the snake."
This led me to thinking about that most famous story about a snake, the
tree of knowledge, and the *apple* as the symbol of knowledge.  The
forbidden fruit.  I have always seen this as both carnal knowledge, and
as, that other 'fact of life' again, knowledge of our own mortality -
the cycle of life and death.  So equating love and knowledge in 'Wonder
Annual' leads to something similar to what Harrison was saying except
with the apple as a symbol of knowledge rather than of nature, i.e. love
= knowledge --> venus = apple.  And of course siding with the snake
means NOT regretting this most fateful decision of mankind.

Dom's hilarious Pre-Midlife Crises post also deserves mention here as it
was one of the best things I've read anywhere in a while.  Just
perfect.  Ain't it the truth?  His theme fits perfectly with the above

And, in response to Dom, Todd Bernhardt quipped, "39 is NOT middle
aged!"  Oh yeah?  And just how long past 78 do you expect to be
living?!  Of course I'll be doing just fine at fine at 74, so I'm
certainly not middle-aged.

Todd also wrote:

Speaking of dictionaries, Paul Culnane said:

> lines about Joey & Mary/Santa and the tooth fairy. Cute lines though they
> may be in themselves, they seem incongruous in the context of the song,

To which Todd suggested:

> I'm willing to bet that: a) The guy who took Marianne away
> from him is named Joe ("I'm not so sure that Joey wed a virgin Mary");
> and 2) He's got buckteeth, and Andy's questioning his manhood ("I'm
> not so sure of Santa or the bucktoothed fairy").

But then Hobbes added :

> He's used the religious allegory in an intense, spiteful way.  The
> giveaway is the contraction of "Joseph" to "Joey" - read Andy.  It
> functions both as a way of saying he'd lost his childish naivity about
> facts he'd taken for granted for years (ie. religion)

While Todd's idea is very interesting (and paranoid - which is a plus),
Hobbes reaction leans closer to my own.  In this song Andy is talking
about *disillusionment*, and not necessarily only in the negative
sense.  He's become disillusioned about love, which he's comparing to
the other fairy tales that he and many of us have became disillusioned
with - Santa, Jesus and the Virgin birth, and the Tooth Fairy.  I'd say
it's just the "Buck" part that was added to complete the rhyme, plus it
is another of his classic puns.  Andy can and does write on multiple
levels (sometimes even he doesn't catch them all, which is not unusual
with great artists) so maybe we are all right.

Then, hopefully the *last* thing we'll *ever* hear from

> Organization: Antidote Sound System
> Subject: I surrender
> This is the most miserable, anal, elitist bunch of shit ever ( I should
> know, I am on the Beach boys list)
> I would rather just listen my XTC CDs
> stop my subscription NOW. Moderated lists are soooo boooring.
> Bye Bye.

Well at least the organization has an appropriate acronym, ASS.

And, OK, anal maybe.  Rectal possibly.  Sphinctral, well,  yes.  But
miserable and elitist?  And where is there the slightest evidence of
over moderation? (Thanks John!) Is anyone else here on the Beach Boys
list?   Maybe we should send this comment back on to their list, just to
show everyone there what a jerk this person is.  Perhaps we can win a
few of the more interesting ones over onto this list.

That's enough for now I'd imagine.



Message-ID: <>
Date: Fri, 12 Mar 1999 23:28:39 -0800 (PST)
From: Brian Danks <>
Subject: Re: Climb Aboard

Paul wrote:
>I can't remember who brought this up in 'Hills, but I
>noticed it
>too: in "The Last Balloon", the children are invited
>to climb aboard last. Menfolk
>first, womenfolk second, then "all you Children".
>Someone should ask Andy about the significance or
>otherwise of this.  I
>have no quarrel with it, but wasn't it always
>supposed to be women and
>children first?

My take on this is:  After the children get on last,
Andy sings:

"Drop us all, you should drop us all like so much sand"

freeing themselves of their parents' bigotry,
predjudices, etc.  That's the feeling the lyric
invoked in me the first time I heard it.

Brian D.


Date: Sat, 13 Mar 1999 00:33:49 -0800
From: Ken Sanders <>
Subject: Greenman vs. Spoonman, revisited
Message-id: <>
Organization: Pacific Bell Internet Services

I saw earlier posts on this bit of whimsy, and my mind went full-tilt,
so be fore I forget these things, let me put it down for y'all to have
snicker, guffaw, OR (hopefully not the case) spit a curse a me...

The Scene:  Harrah's, Las Vegas...the auditorium is packed, and in the
center is a boxing ring, with Greenman in the Left corner, and Spoonman

The show has begun, and Micheal Buffer has introduce the referee for the
evening's bout, Joe Jackson *'cause, as he said, "I'm the Man"*

Since this event will be broadcast around the globe, various cameras are
scanning the crowd to convey the fans' excitement, capturing glimpses of
the "Bubblemen" (aka Love and Rockets),  the Smart Patrol *with* Mr. DNA
(DEVO),  and "Lonely Man" (The Godfathers) AKA "Solitary Man" (Neil
Diamond)  *solitary 'cause he's pining for his "Vanishing Girl", 'natch*

As the bell is rung to begin the first round, *by the "Rubberband Man"
(Ohio Players,  methinks)*, Spoonman is heard to sneer to Greenman,
"Don't lean on me, man, 'cause you can't afford the ticket back from
Suffragette City!" (It should be noted the Spoonman's promoter is "The
Man Who Sold The World", not THAT guy...........rather, DON

Right as the two titans are about to throw punches, "Officer Blue" steps
into the ring to stop the silly affair *'cause even when he's at work
he's STILL at play*

This leaves "Bagman" (The Fall) to clean up the mess..

*toungue firmly implanted betwixt teeth and cheek, as he ducks under the
tarp to hide from flames and rotten fruit hurled his way*

ps. Where be any "South Bay" Chalkers?


Message-ID: <>
Date: Sat, 13 Mar 1999 09:25:22 +0100
From: Giancarlo Galli <>
Subject: I'd like that jokes

>If I could row your heart and head
>With you laid on one arm
>I'd be your Nelson if you'd be my Hamilton, what fun

The word "row" has a definitive maritime sound and the image of her
laying on one arm on a boat while her companion rows reminds of some
victorian paintings (and of Groucho Marx singing on a canoe ;-D), Lady
Emma Hamilton was the lover of Admiral Horace Nelson (the sea
again). I don't see any sexual meaning in this phrase.

Funnier (for us non english speaking guys) is the use of the verb
hector a few lines further.

Good ol' Merriam-Webster says: to intimidate by bluster or personal
pressure, but the phrase goes on with Helen of Troy. Now if the joke's
on Hector, the greek hero I cannot understand it...  Helen was Paris's
mistress and wife of Menelaus... Hector had nothing to deal with
Helen. In fact he was Hector son of Priam, king of Troy; prince of
Troy; husband of Andromache and father of Astynax; killed by Achilles.

Now could someone explain me this thing? This is not a famous couple
of the past after all..  If the joke is about ancient history, using a
verb that barely fits in, hats off to mr. Andy!



Message-ID: <>
Date: Sat, 13 Mar 1999 03:29:55 -0500
From: Jim Slade <>
Subject: Re: Beauty & XTC

> Methinks this obsession with ugliness is akin to the Punk backlash in
> the late '70s.  The music that was being made then was this big
> bombastic orchestral over-produced art-rock, lavishly and expensively
> produced.  Punk was a reaction to that: low-tech badly played trash
> that ANYBODY could make...

OK, them's fightin' words!  Great punk rock was not something that
"ANYBODY" in the mid- to late-70s could make, and it wasn't "ugly"
(ugly is Rick Wakeman in a friggin' sequined cape or any guy in
Journey with tight pants and a perm!).  I can't believe people still
peg punk rock as "simple" music that greater musicians simply chose
not to play.  Just because it had less chords and triplets that
bombastic art rock like Genesis and Yes (or Billy Joel and Journey for
that matter) didn't make it music that any musician could make.  The
same thing goes for the music from which punk rock really derived:
'50s and '60s rock 'n roll 45s: concise, rhythmic songs done with
style and some balls.  The long list of "talented" '70s musicians who
made punk rock necessary - prog rockers, bloated blues rockers,
sensitive-to-the-point of comatose LA singer/songwriters, etc - were
incapable of writing a concise rock 'n roll song, or even a "lesser"
garage or punk rock song.  Sorry, the development of musical "chops"
shouldn't rule out the ability to write, arrange, and record great
little pop songs (it didn't hurt the Wrecking Crew or Motown's house
band).  You want to hear "talented" '70s rock stars trying their hand
at the music that "ANYBODY" can play?  Spin your old copy of Billy
Joel's "Still Rock 'n Roll to Me".  PATHETIC!

To tie this back to comments about many Chalkhillers preferring early
XTC (esp.  English Settlement/Black Sea/D&W), the reason I will always
rate that period as the band's highwater mark, no matter how much I
love my "Harvest Festival"-type songs, is because Terry
Chambers-period XTC played with rock 'n roll firepower, no matter how
many weird chords or rhythms they stuck into the format.  Not to sound
like Joan Jett, but I love rock 'n roll!  I can see how someone who
came to them from the Yes/Genesis/Jethro Tull school could have first
heard XTC as "boiled down" art rock, and that's fine, but I first
heard the band as "beefed up" rock 'n roll, following the tradition of
the Beatles from Revolver on.  Andy and the boys like to distance
themselves from punk rock, but without it they wouldn't have been able
to slip in little Beefheart and Eno/early Roxy Music tricks to their
2:30 songs.  Punk rock broke down all the fat that built up in rock 'n
roll and cleared space for the likes of XTC, The Undertones, and even
The Police to expand it once more.  The "danger" that XTC has faced
over the last dozen years is that, in seeking this place of "beauty"
that we so appreciate, they will become sterile and bombastic
themselves.  Hey, they never promised me that they wouldn't fall prey
to prog rock excesses, but one too many "The Last Baloon" numbers and
they'll become Genesis without the amazing light show.  Flame away (in
brother/sisterhood, please)!



End of Chalkhills Digest #5-133

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