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From: Chalkhills <>
Subject: Chalkhills Digest #13-19

         Chalkhills Digest, Volume 13, Number 19

                 Thursday, 26 April 2007


         Sir MixaLot, Benny Hill, and Billy Joel
            If Music be the food of love......
         Chains Of Pan-Diatonic Clusters, Anyone?
                   Some Chalkhills news
     "Battery Brides" is the MySpace song of the week
     Fancy being taught by Barry Andrews in Swindon?
               Jason and the Black Sea Nuts


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    The views expressed herein are those of the individual authors.

    Chalkhills is compiled with Digest 3.8c (John Relph <>).

the jackass dowry dances forever / across their tableland.


Date: Sat, 21 Apr 2007 00:05:45 -0700 (PDT)
From: Ryan Anthony <>
Subject: Sir MixaLot, Benny Hill, and Billy Joel
Message-ID: <>

One more thing from a couple of Digests ago. Simon
Knight was fretting about a radio station censoring
the first syllable of "goddamn" in one song when the
same station, in his opinion, was allowing far worse
examples of naughty language out onto the airwaves.

Simon wrote, "The song they played immediately before
it [the censored song] the last time I heard it was
Sir Mixalot's 'Baby Got Back,' and they're rapping
about anal sex!"

I have to come to the defense of Sir MixaLot, whom I
consider the funniest, fairest, and most agreeably
logorrheic (sorry, Chuck D.) practitioner of his
genre, which I gather you call "hip-hop" if you're hip
and "rap" if you're a white guy in Arizona. So I'll
call it rap.

There's no sodomy in "Baby Got Back" -- the act Mix
describes in several vividly enthusiastic,
delightfully obscene ways is the act that makes
babies. Yes, Mix makes it clear he fancies an ample
and shapely patoot on his partner, but he gives
absolutely no indication that he wants to do anything
with a girl's caboose other than the ogling and
goosing that was a staple on Benny Hill's show.

Is he monomaniacally fixated on that particular part
of the distaff anatomy? Absolutely not -- he gives
everything else from topknot to toenails equal time in
other songs. Check out "Put 'Em On The Glass" from
*Chief Boot Knocka*, for example.

Mix makes it clear his appreciation of the bodacious
female form is shared by "white boys" -- and to that
term I'll say "ain't no beef," which is the
peace-pipe-extending phrase he placed in parentheses
after Vanilla Ice in the long list of rappers he
saluted as teachers or peers in the liner notes to
*Mack Daddy*.

A woman who gives "Baby Got Back" a careful and
open-eared listen will find a lot to like. Mix is
dismissive of five-minute loverboys and scornful of
abusive men. The activities he and his female
background singers describe last a long time and are
enjoyed equally by both partners.

(One of those background singers could be Meg Ryan in
the diner, if you catch my meaning.)

There's more to like. The female physiques Mix
delineates are explicitly not to be found in *Playboy*
or on MTV; they are happy, healthy, and
unapologetically fad-diet- and plastic-surgery-free.

So *Cosmo* says you're fat?
Well, I ain't down wi' dat,
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
-- And I'm thinkin' 'bout stickin'.

To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sister, I can't resist her,
Red beans and rice didn't miss her.

If you can get past the smut -- and I know it's a
deal-killer for some of you -- this song is every bit
as positive a message from real men to real women as
Billy Joel's (I Love You) "Just The Way You Are."

Ryan Anthony
An independent Internet content provider

P.S.: XTC references next time. Promise.


Date: Sat, 21 Apr 2007 12:16:13 +0100
From: "Steve Morton" <>
Subject: If Music be the food of love......
Message-ID: <001a01c78406$78e2ace0$800101df@STEVE>

Hi Folks,

I felt that I had to add my meagre two-penneth to the ongoing debate on
musical taste, good and bad. I don't see good, bad, right or wrong, just
different. As Nigel Turner pointed out in his last post, peoples tastes
often change over time. Music has this wonderful power to transport the
listener not just to another place but at least for me, to another time.

From a personal viewpoint, I grew up listening to the Beatles and early
70's pop radio on the BBC. I learned to play guitar from Beatles song books.
As I left school and started mixing with real people, I got into all sorts
of music. Listened to Deep Purple and Black Sabbath for a while but got
through all that! Over the years I have idolised bands such as Thin Lizzy,
10cc, Supertramp and The Police. None of these have come close to surpassing
my undying affection to our boys from Swindon but my eclectic tastes have
ranged from Elgar and Tchaikovsky to The Undertones and Green Day via Joe
Pass, Fats Waller and all things in between.

The real magic for me is that I can be in the car and hear a tune on the
radio and I am suddenly transported back to when I first met my wife or when
my first child was born. David Bowie's "Life on Mars" will always return me
to the mess of an Oxfordshire Air Force base in 1973 when I was a fourteen
year old cadet. It could be XTC, Phil Lynott, Level 42, The Carpenters or
even "the mono-browed evil one" (Chris de Burgh for those of you unfamiliar
with the works of Bill Bailey!) but a tune can be a hyperlink to areas of
your memory that have grow dusty through neglect over the years. Just the
intro to an old favourite is a more efficient time machine than the Tardis.
Whether anyone else likes the tune or rates the artist is immaterial to me,
it is the power of the notes to move me that matters. If someone else has
made the same journey or the same connection, welcome fellow traveller, if
not, may your own journeys be just as good.

I've never been a great one for improv and what I have heard of Monstrance
and Winterwerk does very little for me. It sounds a bit like a BBC sound
effects record mixed with a kids music class but I fully appreciate that
others will see this as some of AP's greatest work. More power to them. As
our friends across the channel say, "Vive la difference!"

Back to lurking then.

Yet another Steve.......


Date: Sun, 22 Apr 2007 07:47:07 -0500
From: Barri & Curtis Martens <>
Subject: Chains Of Pan-Diatonic Clusters, Anyone?
Message-ID: <>

Without elitism, there is no place for musicologists. Excellence is in
no danger, I assure you.


Date: Sun, 22 Apr 2007 12:24:01 -0400
From: Josh Phelan <>
Subject: Some Chalkhills news
Message-ID: <>

Hi there,
Not sure if this has been reported yet, or not, but I went to see the
latest Edgar Wright film this weekend, Hot Fuzz, and was very pleasantly
surprised when Sgt. Rock was playing the first time the Sergeant
protagonist entered the local pub.  Nice to see the boys getting some
screen time.

Josh Phelan


Date: Sun, 22 Apr 2007 18:15:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: Todd Bernhardt <>
Subject: "Battery Brides" is the MySpace song of the week
Message-ID: <>


Over at the XTCfans MySpace site (, the
song of the week is "Battery Brides. (It's a live version, from 1980's
"BBC Radio 1 Live in Concert.")

If you want to know which Young Ones character Andy was while the band
was living together, and which guitar effect he thinks sounds like
"electronic heaven," check out the XTCfans blog site at

Ha-ha-have you ever tried?
To break out of your waiting room?
And find yourself a waiting groom?



Date: Mon, 23 Apr 2007 23:09:11 +0100
From: "Debra Edmonds" <>
Subject: Fancy being taught by Barry Andrews in Swindon?
Message-ID: <002601c785f4$05d81470$4201a8c0@DEBDELL>

Hi All

I've not posted for absolutely ages and ages (about 5 years to be truthful)
but saw this is the local Swindon Arts Guide - you all might already know
about this but thought I'd send it on over anyway.

Digital Recording at Create Studios - Musician in residence - Barry Andrews
formerly of XTC - Barry is available for teaching contemporary digital
studio techniques including digital recordings, sequencing, composition,
keyboard and delivering workshops, writing film and music and undertaking
commissioned work.  For further information on the courses available contact
Create Studios on Swindon 01793 465399 or visit

So, what are you waiting for - come to Swindon and be taught by the one and
only Mr Andrews!

Also, if anyone knows the whereabouts of the one and only Mr Mark Strijbos
could they give me the nod?  Guitargonauts has suffered enough over the past
year or so without the main webmaster himself and Dave and I are at a loss.
(we both got a Christmas card from Mark but that's the last we've both heard
of him!)  I think a visit to the Netherlands is our only option!!  Get your
passport ready Mr Gregory!

And finally.  I am considering (yes, only considering) selling Colin's one
and only unique 'Drums and Wires' Canadian Gold Disc that I purchased from
Christie's Rock and Pop auction about 10 years ago.  I've nowhere to hang it
in this new house and I'd hate for it to get stashed away in the attic as it
should really be on show and have pride of place plus I am scared to death
the glass will get broken - I might (only might) put it on Ebay shortly, but
if anyone is interested in obtaining this special item of Mr Moulding's do
get in touch - I have a reserve price in mind and would be reluctant to let
it go for less.  You'd have to collect it from me in Swindon as it is just
too fragile to ship.  I'd throw in a free XTC Swindon Tour and a visit up
Uffington White Horse Hill though so it will be worth a visit!!!  I've not
done a tour for absolutely ages!!

Cheers all, I'll post again in about 5 years time!!!  We're all a bit slow
here in Swindon and well behind the times!!!

Lots of love,

Debs in Swindon (born only a few metres away from Ermin Street - bringing me
back to earth eternally and ever...)


Date: Tue, 24 Apr 2007 15:34:11 -0700
From: Zak Schaffer <>
Subject: Jason and the Black Sea Nuts
Message-ID: <>

I'm not sure if this is newsworthy, but..

Recently some friends of mine and I performed the entirety of Black
Sea at a lovely little venue called Detroit in Costa Mesa, CA. We
went by the name Jason and the Argonauts. The date was March 11th.
There were a few dozen rabid xtc fans who seemed quite overjoyed.
There was also a speed freak outside who wouldn't leave me alone, but
that's beside the point.

Just thought you should know.



End of Chalkhills Digest #13-19

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