Precedence: bulk
Subject: Chalkhills #321

                  Chalkhills, Number 321

                 Monday, 24 January 1994
Today's Topics:
                Bags Of Fun, All Right...!
             Rolling Stone, January 27, 1994
                   Re: Chalkhills #320
                    Toothpicks? Fish?
                Re: worst song discussion
                Bull with Golden Guts tape
                  Those Pesky Last Lines
            chalkhills bio/lists/xtcyclopedia
                     Re : Colin songs
                   Re: Chalkhills #320
                   Re: Chalkhills #320
                Re: ToDD (Chalkhills #320)
               Aimee Mann on Conan O'Brien


Date: Fri, 21 Jan 94 04:54:00 BST
Subject: Bags Of Fun, All Right...!

At the request of at least one Chalkhillian, the lyrics for Bags Of Fun With

"Who's that dragging what looks like a pink sack of spanners
 down the road?
 His swollen folly on a supermarket trolley to allieviate the
 Testicular tomfoolery
 To the rescue of humanity
 It looks a lot of balls to me

Fun and japes and merry frolics
 With Buster Gonad's bulbous bouncing...
 Bags of fun with Buster
 And his super scrotal cluster

Who's that lad with his cobblers clad in a disguise of some
 When the cosmic power of a meteorite shower made them
 swell beyond the norm
 Now here he comes to save mankind
 His enormous nuts not far behind
 And they're not the salted kind

He cures mutes and alcoholics
 When they first see his bulbous bouncing...
 Bags of fun with Buster
 And his super scrotal cluster
 There's bags of fun with Buster
 See them shine with evil lustre

Buster! Watch out for that revolving door
 Ooh Buster! They look so incredibly sore
 Buster! Especially as you drag them through that powerful
 cleaning agent someone spilled upon the floor
 Ooh Buster! why do you let your sack swing so low?

"Sax swing solo?" Yeah!

Fun and japes and merry frolics
 With Buster Gonad's bulbous bouncing...
 Bags of fun with Buster
 And his super scrotal cluster

Doctor Who could defeat the Daleks
 if he had Buster's swinging space age...
 Bags of fun with Buster
 And his double Sputnick thruster
 Bags of fun with Buster
 Just to stroke them would disgust her
 Bags of fun with Buster
 If she held them would you trust her?
 Bags of fun with Buster
 Loads more balls than General Custer
 Bags of fun with Buster
 Lots more scrots than you could muster"

And the "B" side is entitled "Scrotal Scratch Mix"



Date: Fri, 21 Jan 94 03:15:24 -0800
From: (John M. Relph)
Subject: Rolling Stone, January 27, 1994

Quoted from the "Random Notes" column, by Jancie Dunn:

    It only looked impromptu when XTC's Andy Partridge
    leaped onstage during Aimee Mann's show at New York
    City's Bottom Line to sing "Collideascope".  Says
    Mann: "I figured once he heard me sing it and not do a
    very good job, he'd push me out of the way and start
    singing, which is pretty much what happened."


Date: Fri, 21 Jan 94 10:12:37 PST
From: Jon Drukman <>
Subject: Re: Chalkhills #320 gives his Top 10 Colin Tunes:

>The World Is Full of Angry Young Men
>   Another Colin song which noone else seems to like, and I think
>   it's great; one of his best lyrics, very perceptive about what
>   often happens to youthful cynics as they learn a bit about life.
>   I think it's XTC's most successful stab at a jazzy feel.

love it.  don't know about "most successful" (there are some strong
contenders) but it's a really great song.  someone else mentioned
steely dan - right on.  but about the rest of your top 10...  well, at
least you got "wake up" in there.  :)

Joe Lamy recommends:
>- 10cc: yes, you heard me right. Check the bargain bins.

absolutely, yes.  don't just remember them as "that band that did I'm
Not In Love."  btw, godley & creme did some sterling work on their own
as well - check out "Freeze Frame." says:

>>i was just wondering because recently i have heard of a hallucegenic (sp?)
>>drug caleed xtc.
>correct me if i'm wrong, but i think the reason you've just heard of it
>recently is because it is a recent drug (at least by that name). and (i'm
>pretty sure on this one) the correct spelling for the the drug is ecstasy.

xtc/ecstasy/mdma has been around since at least the early 1900s.  it
just wasn't popular as an underground club drug until the mid 80's.
at which point, of course, they made it illegal.  people still call
it X or XTC (two alternative bands for the price of one!)... exclaims:

>> It seems XTC often slight their guest
>> singers this way (eg the little girl on Dear God).
>Goodness, I always thought that was a little boy!

it is.

Kevin Carhart <> disagrees:

>Oliver said:
>1993 was too depressing musically.
>Wow, I'm pretty surprised to hear you say that.  New Mazzy Star, new Cocteau
>Twins, new Kate Bush, new Morrissey

and they all SUCKED.  i was definitely bummed.

>If you're waiting for more XTC, buy everything by all of the above, oh
>and can I also mention Prefab Sprout, especially Jordan: The Comeback,
>.... and the Monochrome Set just to get verbose................

Prefab Sprout are definitely awesome.  Just beware that Jordan is a
rather slick and sweet album.  Not that I mind, but if you're looking
for raw guitars, this ain't it. (Mark Glickman) speaketh:

>> 2. Funk Pop A Roll   (songs attacking popular music are usually the work of
>>                       has-beens.  glad to know that WASN'T the case here.)
>Oh my GOD!!!!  This is the song that got me hooked on XTC forever.
>How could anyone dislike a song that manages to use the word
>"copiously" without shame?!  :-)

yup, one of my favorites as well.  it's so nasty.

Jon Drukman                               
This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.


Date: 21 Jan 94 08:29:30 EST
From: Kyle Skrinak <>
Subject: Toothpicks? Fish?

Re: Steve Krause:
>>* On vocals, co-writing, and odd of Andy's few peers and a
potentially useful counterweight, Pere Ubu's David Thomas!

Hmmm, I love Pere Ubu, and David Thomas, but this tastes like
vanilla-onion-ketchup ice-cream to me. Loved the suggestions otherwise!

Re Mr. Ed: (condensed without permission:)
>>~ My vote for best album of 1993 goes to "Plants and Birds and Rocks and
    Things" by Loud Family
>>~ His Name is Alive. Their "Home is in Your Head"
>>~ Pere Ubu. "Story of my Life"

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Re: Pat Buzby
>>Some of my pix for bad songs :
>>3. Wait Till Your Boat Goes Down  (no comment.)
>>4. almost anything else on Go 2.

Go on! Get outa here. ;-) I ~love~ this stuff! Actually, after reading the
Chaulkhills book, I've been endeared to "Wait till Your..." even more

Re: Voorhees
>>I keep seeing people who really get off on that throwaway, Dear Madam
Barnum. Go figger. I'll leave quickly to dodge all the electronically thrown

Forget tomatoes! I'm flicking boogers at you!!!! ;-)

Re: Oliver:
>>Is Dave secretly a great singer?  Does Andy hate Colin's voice?

Yea, what's the deal on this?

Re: Walter Clark:
>>I always liked that one. In fact I think that Nonsuch is one of the better
albums...What's the problem?

I like Nonsuch too, I hate War Dance. These two points shouldn't be confused.

>>~ The Beautiful south
>>~ Concrete Blonde
>>~ The Beatles
>>~ R.E.M.
>>~ The Proclaimers

Wasn't one of the members of The Beautiful South in another band, who's name
escapes me at this moment, that was remarkably XTC-like? TBS had some great
promotional artwork for their last tour...

Who the hell are the Beatles? Actually, I burned out on the beatles in my
youth. Can't stand to listen to them as an adult. Perhaps its an age thing.

Please! All of you with strong opinions on other bands. More recommendations!
It's interesting to see that us XTC fans don't have generic musical tastes.
As if that were a surprise...


Subject: Re: worst song discussion
Date: Fri, 21 Jan 94 15:54:18 EST

I always thought that the guys had been generally following the "rule" that
whoever wrote the song sings the lead vocal.  But it sounds to me like Andy
singing lead on "Wake Up" and "Too Many Cooks...".  Are these exceptions to
the rule, then?


Date: Fri, 21 Jan 94 14:16:51
From: (kevin patrick lynch)
Subject: Bull with Golden Guts tape

I'm looking for a phone number for Little Express, and/or information on
"The Bull with the Golden Guts."  I'd like to get a copy ASAP, and I
have some XTC video, Jules Verne stuff that I can trade for a dub.



Date: Fri, 21 Jan 94 14:38:53 PST
From: Chalkhills Administration <>
Subject: Those Pesky Last Lines
Organization: Chalkhills Anonymous

And since you asked...  Here is the list of Last Lines from the
Chalkhills Digests, and also, more importantly, where they came from!

Garden of Earthly Delights:
    Welcome to a billion Arabian nights.
    Just don't hurt nobody.
    Don't hurt nobody 'less of course they ask you.
    Hearts are built like rubber.
Gangway Electric Guitar (a demo, unreleased):
    Gangway Electric...
    Gangway electric guitar is coming through.
    She just lifts up her skirts...
    And pours down the truth on you.
Wait Till Your Boat Goes Down (the longest song title comprising
four-letter words):
    A girl's best friend's not any consolation...
This is The End:
    This is where the screen has led us all to.
    A sign that says "Please Start Here Anew".
    No hard feelings and no hard glands.
    So here's where sweet and bitter rivers blend.
    They won't drop Fat Boy on your town...
Brainiac's Daughter:
    A splendid creme bun!
    And I'm crazy for girls like that...
Then She Appeared:
    All Edward leared.
    All of us take omnibus.
    Make your Shakespeare harder.
You're The Wish You Are I Had:
    And I made her drink a cup or two.
Goodbye Humanosaurus:
    And that we spoke and threw a turd.
Mole From The Ministry:
    And you shouldn't think me...
    Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb.
Big Day:
    Big day come and big day go...
    Life goes on after the show...
    But will your love have the fire and glow?
    Like on the Big Day...
    Are you deafened by the bells?
    Sign on the dotted line.
Rip Van Ruben:
    Asleep for a hundred minutes.
My Paint Heroes:
    Barcelona, nuclear festive, wire women...
Here Comes President Kill Again:
    Here comes President Kill again...
    Broadcasting from his killing den.
    Lets us vote someone like that in.
Sacrificial Bonfire:
    Burn up the old...
Blue Beret:
    But sharks made a meal out of him.
    Don't kick your wife / Put down that knife.
No Language In Our Lungs:
    But the words got in the way.
    There is no language in our...
All Of A Sudden (It's Too Late):
    But there's something missing in the middle.
Always Winter But Never Christmas:
    Can't you hear the bells ringing out?
Countdown to Christmas Party Time (in case you couldn't tell):
    Countdown to Christmas Party Time!
    Crow, crow / Spill all you know...
    Is that my name on the bell?
    Rook, rook, read from your book.
Psychadelic Christmas (from Geffen xmas promo disc):
    Don't chainsaw your mother up.
Another Satellite:
    Don't need another satellite.
Cairo?  New Broom?  The Rotary?  I don't remember:
    Down Down!  Up Up!  Down!
    Heel to hell and toe to toe / In a 'Danceband'.
    I'm really burning, fit to boil up the sea.
    Human volcano at a zillion degrees.
Dear God
    I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer.
When You're Near Me I Have Difficulty:
    I have difficulty.
Red Brick Dream:
    I heard the engine's dying breath.
Are You Receiving Me?:
    I put it in a note, one night I wrote.
    Just like the son of Sam.
Dear Madam Barnum:
    I resign as clown.
    I wait patiently, froze in history.
Mermaid Smiled:
    I was lucky to remain beguiled...
Profession (a CUD song!):
    I won't do your piecework.
Train Running Low on Soul Coal:
    I'm a 30-year old puppy doing what I'm told.
Merely a Man:
    I'm merely a man.
Seagulls Screaming Kiss Her, Kiss Her:
    If you wait, November wins her.
Quicksilver (demo, not released):
    In a pool of mercury.
    In the gorse, you shall be mine.
    So we can fly away...
    You wait and see.
The Rotary:
    It's the rotary!
Zonked Right Out On Life:
    Won't you bop on over Little Charlie...
    It's za bees, za bows, zabaglio...
Rocket From a Bottle:
    Jets should hide, I'll fly alongside.
    Lazybones, look into the sun...
    They can't teach me how to shirk correctly.
>From the intro to a live performance video of a song I don't remember:
    Let's see you wriggle to this one...
Miniature Sun:
    Man crashing down like a miniature sun.
What in the World?...:
    Men are too bored, they're scrubbing floors.
Ariel (another CUD song):
    Mermaids will take care of me.
Jason and The Argonauts:
    Oh, my head is spinning like the world.
    There may be no golden fleece...
Travels in Nihilon:
    You've learnt no lessons...
    There's no youth culture.
    Only masks they let you rent.
    We've seen, no Jesus come and gone.
Pearl (demo, unreleased):
    Pearl oh Pearl, don't cloister yourself away.
    The world's your oyster, come out to play.
Pink Thing:
    Pink thing it's a whole new vibe.
Ra Ra for Red Rocking Horse:
    Ra Ra for Red Rocking Horse.
Thanks for Christmas:
    Santa's reindeer yawning now.
    Thank you for the winter friendliness.
    Thanks for Christmas!
    Thanks for all the love and happiness.
She's So Square:
    She's so square she's nowhere.
Chalkhills and Children (with intentional misspelling):
    Some nonsuch net holds me aloft.
Wrapped in Grey:
    Stand up naked and grin.
The Loving:
    Strange trip.
The History of Rock and Roll:
    Thank you and goodnight.
>from the Nonsuch promo written by Andy:
    Thanks for the eartime.
My Love Explodes:
    That's the most obscene abomination of a song!
1000 Umbrellas:
    The Jesters will creep in.
    The newly crowned monarch...
The Disappointed:
    The disappointed All congregate at my house.
Find The Fox:
    The hunt is on to find the fox.
The Man Who Sailed Across His Soul:
    The man who walked across his heart...
Warpaint (Happy Rhodes, from her album Warpaint):
    The past is warpaint.
Books Are Burning:
    The printed word is more than sacred.
    You boys will tire of these games.
Pale and Precious:
    The smell of the pinecones and the sea...
Hey Goosey Goosey:
    The wisdom of the ancients in a box.
Pulsing Pulsing:
    There's a beat in his arm still.
Obscene Procession:
    They need their warfare to deflate 'em.
    Whips and semen, adulterous confessions...
Season Cycle:
    They're closing Winter down...
To Here Knows When (My Bloody Valentine, from Loveless):
    To here knows when.
The Smartest Monkeys:
    We're the smartest monkeys.
The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead:
    Who'll pray for Peter Pumpkinhead?
Cynical Days:
    You say it's just a passing phase...
Down a Peg:
    You took me down, down, down a peg...
Holding the Baby (demo, unreleased):
    You've been eclipsed by your own son.
Quoting from Chalkhills:
    Zounds!  A partridge forsooth!
**** Tha Police (NWA):
    ____ tha police!
Paper and Iron (Notes and Coins):
    ``I take home my notes and coins every week
      I'm told I'm worth much more
      but the Church says turn the other cheek''


Organization: SLAIS, UBC
Date:         21 Jan 94 16:21:36 GM+5
Subject:      chalkhills bio/lists/xtcyclopedia

Me again.  I've got a lot of homework to do and am avoiding it, hence
my fixation on this list.  Some reactions to stuff in Chalkhills #320:

I'd agree with the person who commented that the XTC biography is
pretty sketchy about the actual music.  I would have liked to see a
lot more specific commentary on how the songs get written and
recorded other than just "Andy wrote all the songs for Mummer in the
backyard" and "Andy kept telling Terry how to play the drums."  The
book does cover things like the Colonel or Three Wise Men singles
quite well, explaining what these things are to the confused novice.
But the discography is annoying; he doesn't even list the song on
each album, though all the B-sides are chronicled thoroughly.

After being somewhat flamed on the worst song list I have reexamined
"Millions," "Deliver Us From The Elements" and "Roads Girdle the
Globe" and will concede that there are likable things about each one,
particularly the last.  I stand by my other selections, however (and
I forgot to put "The Meeting Place" on my list of Colin-faves).
I too was appalled to see "Funk Pop A Roll" on someone's worst-list;
that's a wicked track.  I agree Peter Pumpkinhead is a bit simplistic
but I think it's a fun song and a good album-opener; remember that
it's a "Ballad" in the old sense of the word, and so has a repetitive
structure and a narrative, hence the sing-along feel.

I had an interesting idea that I probably would never be able to see
through; what all XTC fans present and future need is an XTC song
encyclopedia.  This kind of thing has been done several times for the
Beatles, and I think would be very interesting.  It would list
every song, including all the outtakes and demos, in alphabetical
order, giving its location on albums and/or singles, and adding
recording information, instrumentation, trivia, and comments from the
band members and others about each song.  This would answer a lot of
questions and be fun reading.  It would also take forever to
produce.  Any takers?


Date: Sat, 22 Jan 1994 12:06:01 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re : Colin songs

     Add me to the list of people who like "The World Is Full Of Angry Young
Men."  Great song.  The similarlity to "King Of The World" by Steely Dan was
mentioned; well, the first part of Colin's verse does use the same chord
progression as "King," but the songs are polar opposites in terms of attitude.
I love "King Of The World," too.
     One favorite of mine that went unmentioned : "In Loving Memory of a Name."
Very nice.  Also, "That is the Way."

                                    Pat Buzby
                                    Oberlin, OH


Date: Sat, 22 Jan 1994 15:47:46 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Re: Chalkhills #320

could anyone tell me where the purchased and the price they paid for
chalkhills and children. i have not seen it but then again i live in


Date: Sat, 22 Jan 94 18:12:08 EST
Subject: Introduction

The "Welcome to Chalkhills" message asked me to post a message introducing
myself, so here goes:

Female, married, aged 33, writer, XTC fan since the Seventies when I was a
mere slip of a girl.  As I child, I wanted to grow up to be Jean Shrimpton
(or possibly Charlotte Rampling) and go live in Swinging London with John
Lennon, but unfortunately something went very wrong and I came of age in the
Reagan/Bush era.  What a cruel blow!  And John Lennon's gone now so my
childhood dreams are well and truly crushed.

I work in a nice software company but will soon be taking 1 or 2 years off
with my husband to travel and have fun.  Plan to emigrate to Ireland or at
least base myself there.

I read about Chalkhills in some "List of Lists" posting in Usenet news.
Sorry, I forget which group, but it was something like "news.lists."


Date: Mon, 24 Jan 94 12:27:20 MST
From: (James Robert Campbell)
Subject: Re: Chalkhills #320

Joe Lamy brought up the band Jellyfish which has been
mentioned here before as an XTC-ish band.  This weekend
while record-shopping I ran into a Jellyfish EP that
had been designed circa early 60's ala the singles
for 'Ball And Chain' and 'No Thugs In Our House'.  The
real kicker was that on the back of the CD, near the
bottom, there was an advertisement for Charex record
cleaner, sort of like XiTeC that was mentioned on the
back of 'Ball And Chain', and is coveniently available
in John's scanned images directory by FTP.  I think
I see some sort of connection here.



From: McGowan_Jim/corp2_doc@t1
Date: Sun, 23 Jan 94 14:10:12 -0800
Subject: Re: ToDD (Chalkhills #320)

Item Subject: Message text
JoE (yeah, and I'm JiM) Silva writes:

>   In the Chalkhills bio, there's a photo of him doing backups on
> 'Grass.' If you ever run into ToDD, I wouldn't broach the subject.

Why? Does the no-love-lost feeling so frequently ascribed to Andy-on-Todd
work in reverse?

BTW, last Monday, January 17, the wife and I were all ready to head down to
Fairfax High School to see Todd and his new multimedia-whatever-you-call-it
show. It was, however, cancelled due to a minor seismic disruption earlier
that day...

- Jim McGowan


Date: Mon, 24 Jan 94 11:40:30 PST
From: "John Relph" <>
Subject: Aimee Mann on Conan O'Brien

Unfortunately, I missed this one.  Did anybody happen to tape the Conan
O'Brien show with Aimee Mann?  It sure looks like Dave Gregory is in the
band for the show.

        -- John

Subject: finally got to hear...
Date: Mon, 24 Jan 94 01:50:25 -0500

Later, the same evening, Aimee Mann appeared briefly on Conan O'Brien's
show and sang "Stupid" (or is that "Stupid Thing").  Aimee played bass, and
the two guitarists were the ones she's had on tour with her.  I wasn't sure
if it was the same drummer or not.  Nothing terribly new or exciting here,
but as a raving Aimee Man fan, it's nice to have...



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